Hawke Ottawa Evanski\\District 6

And from my tortured shape
No comfort, no escape
I see, but deep within is utter blindness

Hawke is an extremely attractive young man, but he rarely sees it himself. His tall stature of 6'4 makes a distinct impression, and he is also quite buff. His muscles are toned and strong, but only because of...certain activities he partakes in. He is athletic, and built like a swordsman, with broad shoulder and a slim waist. He weighs about 210 pounds.

However, his full height doesn't always show. Hawke has extremely bad posture, and is always hunched over, appearing about three inches shorter than he normally would. It is a bad habit he got into on the streets.

Hawke has silky and curly hair. Actually, it curls for at the bottom, right around the edges, where it stops over his ears and at his lower neck. Sideburns are visible right next to his ears, but they aren't too prominent. The exact color of his hair could be described as a chestnut brown with lighter and darker highlights, including black and a golden color. Some days it is simply unmanageable, but his bed head is remarkably sexy.

His eyes are an interesting hazel color that are affected ever so slightly by lighting and other outside factors, such as his clothing. That's not to say that his eyes change color; simply that the brown, blue, or green in them may be more prominent on some days rather than others. It's only a slight change, hardly even noticeable. Still, the difference is there.

However, on most days his eyes appear to be in-between all of the colors. If anyone else was asked what Hawke's eye color is, they would answer that they are, the person would simply reply hazel. His eyes just contain plenty of colors.

Hawke has a prominent nose and an ever-present five o'clock shadow. His eyebrows are thin and angled, and he has a butt-chin. It's hidden by his facial hair, though. His face is thin, and he has high cheekbones. Most often, there are light purple circles under his eyes from not sleeping enough.

His lips are light pink and just a bit thin. Behind them lay hidden his teeth, which are only visible when he's eating, talking (sometimes; he mumbles a lot), or on the rare occasions he actually smiles. His teeth are slightly crooked and yellow, although they were much worse as a child. As his teeth grew in, they became straighter, and he became slightly more conscience of the color. He swishes water around his mouth three times a day for two minutes, because he doesn't own a toothbrush.

His skin is lightly tanned from the sun, but in the winter his skin is rather pale. The undersides of his arms never seem to get any sunlight either. He has a few dark freckles on his face and skin, with one particular one standing out more on the left side of his nose.

Hawke's abdominals could be described as heavenly. He has a six-pack that is clearly defined and tough. Girls he's...encountered have swooned over them, and Hawke knows it. He does at least fifty, usually more, complicated crunches each day to keep them in shape.

Hopeless
As my dream dies
As the time flies
Love a lost illusion

Hawke used to be an outspoken, care-free child. He loved his life, despite everything that was wrong with it. He wasn't very aware of what was happening around him at a young age, but it was probably better that way. After all, ignorance is bliss.

Ignorant would be a good word to describe how he used to be. Sheltered, perhaps. His parents shielded him from the real world, the cruelness of it. Hawke, a strange, emotional child in his district, felt very strongly about equality and fairness. His parents hid the real nature of the Games from him as a small child, and Hawke was seemed completely innocent.

He always came back from a bad time. He was almost an outcast at school, despite his outgoing nature. In fact, it was because of his friendly manners, but that's hardly the point. He didn't have many friends, and it hurt him a bit. He felt the need for a companion deeply. He always needed someone to understand him. But no one did.

Hawke, as a young temper, had quite the temper. The littlest things could set him off. He was a nice kid, sure--but he took things just a bit too seriously. He never has had much of a sense of humor. His temper created his impulsiveness, which has created situations that have shaped his personality.

After the debacle with his parents, he tried to prove himself on the streets. He wanted to make a statement about himself, prove that he was an actual human being with feelings, and he was proud of the fact that he had feelings. But then he starting using, and he became high out of mind and body half the time, sometimes during school.

At that young, rebellious age, Hawke was full of spite, and all of his actions were inspired by his hatred for life in general. He didn't do homework to spite his teachers, he didn't go home to spite his parents, and he broke a few laws to spite Panem, which he felt a great deal of hate for. Even if he was absolutely terrified of being chosen for the Games.

A constant fear in Hawke, when he was eligible, was being chosen for the Games. Perhaps it was a bit irrational, considering he was doing drugs (which can kill you) and hanging out on the streets (which can kill you), but he would have nightmares about his name being called at the reaping. And then, he would imagine himself drowning or being killed by an avalanche, or a sword through his chest.

In particularly cruel instances, his dreams would be extremely vivid. He would go through so many hardships (starvation, dehydration, impossible odds, and an arena that was trying to kill him), make it to the top two, and die. It created a greater fear inside of him.

It was a vicious cycle, really. The drugs would cause hallucinations or nightmares, and the dreams would cause him to take more drugs, so he would forget. He was disgustingly addicted. He wouldn't have been able to live without them in that stage of his life.

He changed a lot after the incident with Ileana. As opposed to being vibrant, as he was when he was a child, or rebellious, as he was as a young teenager, he became depressed and confused. And incredibly lost in spirit. He was constantly miserable after she betrayed him, and even using wouldn't help him all that much, although he was certainly high all of the time. That's why he needed a new vice. It helps him get by.

Even though he is still impulsive, he doesn't have much of a temper anymore. He's just mostly depressed and somber. Sullen and miserable. He doesn't care about pretty much anything but himself. And Ileana a bit still, but he ignores that part of him. Some would call him self-centered, but he isn't really. He just doesn't have the capacity to care. He's simply too empty and lost inside. He honestly doesn't give a damn if he breaks a girl's heart when he has sex with them and leaves them, and he doesn't care if he's screwing up other people's lives when he offers them drugs. After all, drugs and sex are all that keep him going.

No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her

Hawke, as a young child, seemed to be the only student who didn't have the brain capacity for science. It all went over his head--the idea, laws, and formulas. None of it seemed to make any sense to Hawke. His parents constantly worried about Hawke, because he wasn't like a normal boy. Jennifer and Beorg Evanski were like most District Six residents, working together in the science industry. The tested behavioral science. Their son became their favorite project.

Hawke always was an athletic, romantic boy. His thoughts tended to be more artistic than factual, and his actions were always impulsive rather than carefully thought-through. His parents were fascinated by his odd defection as well as being worried about him, so they tried to see if they could fix it.

They forced extra work upon him, all of it maths and sciences. Hawke, who had never been adept at those particular subjects, began to feel as if his parents were trying to torture him. He confronted them about it after about a year, and they quickly changed tactics. They began to observe his interactions at school, with his teachers and with his fellow students. They found that Hawke was more social than most kids, and when most children would do extra homework at recess, or play brain-stimulating games, Hawke would run or try to get other kids to play a game. He never seemed to realize that no one else wanted to play with him.

When Hawke realized what his parents were doing, he became angry. He had always been impulsive, and that had not changed at the age of eleven. He yelled at his parents that he hated them, and he ran away. For a few days, he didn't go back to home. He learned a lot about the real world--that is, he learned a lot about street life, gangs, and, actually, a great deal more about the Hunger Games. His parents had always tried to cover his eyes and ears when viewing for the Games was necessary, and Hawke hadn't realized just how horrible they were.

He grew more angry at his parents for hiding the true nature of the Games from him. He also became convinced that he would be chosen one year. He decided that the rest of his life, he should try to life apart from his parents, because they had deceived him. He spent a great majority of his time away from home, on the streets. He began to do drugs and smoke at the age of thirteen, and quickly became addicted.

Hawke was taught by other street kids exactly how it worked on the streets. He was beat up a few times before he realized not to stand erect, because it would only get you a fist in the face. Hawke's posture got worse and worse, as he got better and better at blending in. He became adept at blending in and disguising himself, despite his unusual height, which was prominent even as a younger child.

He hardly knew his parents anymore. They were strangers to him; he rarely went home any more, he just slept out. they had never thought of him as their son, so why should he think of them as parents? He was always an experiment to them. But when he was fifteen, he found out they had died in an accident involving another scientist's experiment.

Strangely, he felt awful about this. He spun into a spiral of depression. He never went to school, dreaded being picked for Hunger Games, and ignored everything that happened around him. He was constantly high and out of his mind, until one girl changed that.

Ileana was a beautiful girl, there was no denying that. Hawke hardly cared about that; he had seen plenty of other gorgeous girls, he slept with at least three a week. The thing about Ileana was that she seemed honestly good and kind. She was a smart girl, she enjoyed mathematics, but Hawke didn't take notice of her likes and dislikes. He just went after her.

In the chase for her, he found himself falling in love, and hating himself for it. He knew he was too messed up for a girl like her. He had only talked to her once, on "accident", when he had ran into her (purposefully), and even though she hadn't seemed to look down on him, he was constantly high, and he knew that she wasn't the type of girl to go for that.

Hawke slowly and steadily cleaned up his act, getting to know Ileana better. It wasn't long before he knew that he was definitely in love. Hawke, who always simply followed his feelings, didn't hesitate when he told Ileana of his affection for her.

They became a couple, and Hawke left behind his old street life, all for her. Ileana became his world. They were that disgusting adorable couple that knew everything about each other, including the completely irrelevant facts, like how long the other brushed their teeth for.

The one problem about Ileana was that she was gorgeous, and she knew it. So, while she was always kind and fair, she was also selfish and vain. When other guys showed interest in her, she wouldn't exactly discourage them. It caused some friction between Hawke and Ileana, and he became jealous whenever any guy looked at her the wrong way, but they still loved each other.

At least, Hawke loved her. He loved her so much, that he abstained from having sex with her, because he wanted it to mean something more than that. He wanted to wait until he could marry her, until he knew she would be his.

So, one night, when he was eighteen, he crept into her house in the middle of the night, with a ring in his pocket. He was going to propose to her, as a surprise. He had only decided he wanted to marry her a few hours ago (although he had always known subconsciously), and that was why it was such an impromptu moment.

It turned out that it was a good time. As he drew closer to her room, he heard the sound of two people breathing in the same room. He found out quickly enough that Ileana had been cheating on him the entire time, and wasn't nearly as sweet or innocent as he thought she was. It tore him apart.

The thing to understand here is that Ileana was his entire life. His parents were dead, so he lived in their house all by himself, though that was hardly a reason. Ileana had been the one to reform him, the one who made him better, the one who fixed him. When she died, he couldn't handle it.

Hawke became reserved and quiet. And confused. Lost and confused. He didn't go back to the streets or drugs right away. He still loved her too much. Instead, he was completely sober all the time, constantly going over in his mind what he could have done wrong. It must have been all his fault. Finally, the pain of betrayal was too much for him, and he went back to using.

Hawke has spent about three years high out of his mind, to escape the pain. He knows how to blend in on the streets, and often fades into the background. He doesn't go around punching people in the face, like some thugs he's met, because he feels like Ileana wouldn't approve. He still has trouble "betraying" her, even after what she did to him. It's difficult for him to even think of her as bad, even though he knows he should.

However, he does have sex with a different girl every other night. No, he doesn't feel like Ileana would be angry at him--after all, she was doing the same thing when they were dating, wasn't she? He has become what most people would call a man-slut, and he really doesn't care. When he's with other girls, he almost feels like he's back with her.

Long ago I should have seen
All the things I could have been
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward

Codeword:

<img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/16h2ibt.png">

Other:

Sorry the Personality and History are so similar. Hawke's personality is very closely related to his past, and his personality progressed so much over his life.