Haze White -- District 11

Hi Raven! Anywho, some things that I've noticed about your bio.

Personality: Unless your character is in District 9, it would be highly unlikely that she would be leaving the area and going hunting. Also, don't forget that District 11's security is intense. Remember those insane posts along the border and how there were guards watching? That makes it very, very, very unlikely that she could sneak out.

Also, I'm having an issue with the fact that she can easily drop her sarcastic, boisterous nature and be all out caring for her friends. Maybe a little back-story would be nice in order to explain it? Because while it is possible for tough people to be caring, they generally have a more difficult time showing it.


History: In District 11, you really wouldn't want your character to get on the wrong side of the PKs. Remember, they're much more forceful in District 11 so you have to consider the shift of their rule there.

And of course, the forest. Please regard what I had to say about that in the personality section.


Overall: For the most part, I'm looking for expansion. Your appearance and personality seem to be fine (although I'm positive you can add more in), but your history seems very crunched. Don't be afraid to expand on the history a little more, give readers of this bio more events to learn from.

After you have finished correcting your app, please reply back and a staff member will look at it again.