Kyle Marx, D6

Hi there. ^^

I would like to ask of you, first off, is to separate your potential paragraphs with a space in between them. It just makes it easier to read and makes it look neater.

You need to have a bit more information in the Appearance. I don't see much flaws with him, because I don't see anything that is rather conscious of him to worry about. Anyways, please put in information about his clothes - this will give you the necessary amount for the Appearance section. You on a good start, though. ^^

Your personality is a bit Gary-Stuish, I'm sorry to say. He doesn't have any flaws of character, and these are important in order to make him act like a real person. I don't know if you were going for 'servant', but dictionary.com does not recognize the word 'sevant'. Also, I would like for more information in here.

He is able to do 6x6 multiplication and other amazing things in his head without trouble and has a photographic memory.
His parents are rich and are able to give him a private tutor and does not attend school.

I don't understand what you mean by '6x6' multiplication. Every time I read it, it sounds like trying to compute 6 times 6 (=36), and that's pretty simple. Please clarify on that. In District 6, the 'richness' is nothing compared to the Career Districts' (1-4, with 4 being borderline Career and normal). Just make sure you know that.

These guides can help you in the Personality section:
Phunk's guide to Sue bios
Phunke's guide to general character applications
My guide on character applications
My guide on Mary-Sue applications

One more thing to point out:

He spends most of his spare time in his room, working on long, drawn out math problems or typing away commands on his computer. He is so paranoid that once he hacked the Capitol's weather database to make sure it wouldnt rain.

Despite the fact that Katniss and the group did hack into the Capitol's database in order to transmit signals, we don't expect people at home to have computers for personal usage. They would most likely be used for work; after all, the Capitol would not want the people to communicate with each other and start a new rebellion. You will need to change the hacking part, and you might need to specify the usage of this computer. You can always ask admins to prove me wrong.

History:

Their parents got there at the same time, became friends and the two were ever since friends and have regular "hack fights" and try to teach each other math and science.

Again, hacking probably isn't that plausible without personal computers and the Capitol's high defense system (unless we're talking about in-District). It's pretty risky to be hacking.


Modify with changes and reply to the thread to get our attention. Thanks. ^^ Remember that you are allowed to ask the admin for questions concerning applications.