Searchin' for some staffs

phunke

guest

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 10, 2011 18:06:34 GMT -5

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Post by phunke on Apr 10, 2011 18:06:34 GMT -5

As you may know, there's a staff search (#6, crazysauce) going on right now. Which means it's time for some parody apps!

I invite everyone to make their own. But we all know mine's the best, so guys, don't get your hopes up. My name is phunke and I AM the next ~~american idol~~ librarian.

Name: AH'M OLD GREGG
Age: I BEEN HERE LONGAH THAN YOU, BOI. DON'T QUESTION ME, YA FUZZY LITTLE MAN-PEACH
Previous experience: I got experience paintin' watahcolahs. An' I got experience in bed. AH'M OLD GREGG.
Why should we choose you?
Ya ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe? Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other? DON'T LIE TO ME. I know whatcha thinkin' - ya thinkin', oh look, it's old gregg, the scaley man-fish! You don't know what I got! I GOT A MANG- [censored]
Roleplay Sample:
I'm gonna hurt 'cha.
Do ya love me? Do ya like Old Gregg's place? I make watahcolahs. Want some Bailey's? I'm Old Gregg. I got the funk.
I GOT THE FUNK!

Other: What do ya think of me?
MAKE AN ASSESSMENT

ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ
Retired Staff

1,911 POSTS
last seen Jun 11, 2024 10:55:54 GMT -5

I go "Grawr!" =)

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 10, 2011 18:23:06 GMT -5

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Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Apr 10, 2011 18:23:06 GMT -5

I think I can handle this... -cracks knuckles- Going to be such a challenge.

Name: Deeeenosaur (Grawr, tyvm)
Age: Middle-aged (stress tends to do that to ya)
Previous experience: Q-Have you ever been on the staff of a site before?
A-Well, now that you've mentioned I have!
Q-Care to tell us where?
A-Nah, not really.
Why should we choose you? Because I've been doing this since November. Shocker, huh?
Roleplay Sample: 'nuff said
Other: I really like the pretty color name...

So I'm pretty sure I'm going to get this position...just sayin'.

^credit to Shrimp

char info yayy

Matt
Retired Staff

[M:20030]

809 POSTS

last seen Mar 14, 2016 0:51:07 GMT -5

woah man

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 10, 2011 18:51:17 GMT -5

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Post by Matt on Apr 10, 2011 18:51:17 GMT -5

Name: Jessica Sandersonnn
Age: Like, totes 16. Like, totes.
Previous experience:Wow! There is like, wayyyy too many to list. Let's see...there was that one time with that guy on the top of the ferris wheel, but that was really quick soooo I dunno if that counts. And then that one time with that guy in the library, and then that one time at band camp (I'm not even in band, because I'm too, like, popular for that, but I know that band camp is where everyone gets it on), umm...and then that one time with the janitor in the janitors closet, and then there was that one time where I was like, feeling fat, so I agreed to have sex with this guy in a chocolate factory...yeah, somehow it made me feel not fat...OH WAIT I was supposed to list what sites I have been staff on? Whoooooops. Well, I got nothing. But, um, call me?
Why should we choose you? Because I'm totes the most popular and totes the most prettiest person, like, ever! Like, you will NOT regret hiring me. And if you do, well, I will totes trash your social life. Totes. But, like, I'm so cool that I know I'm getting hired anyway, so I totes won't make this longer than it needs to be. It's already fab the way it is. Totes.

Roleplay Sample: Roleplaying? Um, that is for total geeks. And if anyone saw me roleplaying, like, I'd be unpopular, and, like, that will never happen. Like, totes.

Other: I do hope you consider my application to work at Hooters! Thank you! Smooches! Totes!

Eastern Orange
Career Tribute

[M:-100]

527 POSTS
last seen Apr 19, 2019 19:32:23 GMT -5

"I'm Scandinavian, God dammit. We love to be naked!"

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 10, 2011 18:59:21 GMT -5

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Post by Eastern Orange on Apr 10, 2011 18:59:21 GMT -5

Name: LOLcat
Age: LOLcat dos not wish to say
Previous experience: I has been plotingz world domenastions, and am adept in the art of cheezeberger hunts. I'm on yer interwebz, making billonz of pepoles luaf so wen I am a-snatching ther monies dey do not notise! Muhahahahahahhahahahaha! My cute kitteh face is no match for ther firewallz, I HAS INVADED YO' MINDZ.
Why should we choose you?:
What is dis qwusion! Sum kind of joke, jes? De qwusion is why not silly humanz. I am LOLcat. I has ze power, jes. I mind control humanz with ze kitty antics.
Roleplay Sample:
What is dis? You dare ze LOLcat to pose as some lesser being? The awdasity! Me, being LOLcat, is the suprem being of excelenzy. I am not needings to do dis, how you say, 'rooooole plah' It does not suit my kitteh ways! However. For dis jobz, I shall show of my skillz of distracsions and diguzes.

Jees, feels yer insidez turn to mush!
Ha I fool you, it tis onlyz me! De impersanasions, they are ezey, jes?

Other: I can has job, jes?

Last Edit: Apr 10, 2011 19:02:02 GMT -5 by Eastern Orange

Spesh
Capitol Resident

1,143 POSTS
last seen Oct 22, 2023 19:21:42 GMT -5

being old af

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 10, 2011 19:08:46 GMT -5

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Post by Spesh on Apr 10, 2011 19:08:46 GMT -5

Name: Antoine Dodson

Age: Man, I don't know. I lost tract a while ago. I think I'm 24 or something.

Previous experience: Well, this one time some idiot from the projects tried to climb in my window and rape my sista. But I was like, HELL NAW! And I came in and he jumped out thru the window. Then I was like, dayum. And I called 911. Then the next day some lady came up to me and I gave a warning to the dude. I was like "You need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands, cause they rapin erybody out here." And then i was like, dayum boy, you are so dumb. for real. And you don't have to come and confess. we lookin fo you. We gonna find you. So you can run and tell that, homeboy. Then there was this one time in 8th grade, but we aint gotta get into that.

Roleplay Sample: Well, I once played some idiot from the projects... wait. that is awkward: HERE IT IS!

Other: IMA FIND CHU!

ja'mie
Retired Staff

[M:8400]

316 POSTS

Pronouns: she
last seen Jun 16, 2019 17:47:03 GMT -5

beam me up, scotty

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 11, 2011 19:15:33 GMT -5

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Post by ja'mie on Apr 11, 2011 19:15:33 GMT -5

Name: Saffron Willow Pandora Coldwater. Like the purest stream, freezing, just after winter's first snowfall. Glistening white specks dot the soft cattails as they lean over the water. Their reflections shimmer back at them, only to be interrupted by the gentle flow of the current: a current that glosses over a small nest of freshwater salmon eggs (which will soon grow into large salmon, where they will be prone to the natural dangers of the wild, the wild where peace lingers in ever rose bud, dangles from every tree limb...)
Age: My age does not slow me down. Just like Galápagos Giant Tortoise, I am able to live years and years before falling to the fertile ground, as my soul lifts away from my body, up into our creator's forgiving hands.
Previous experience: I... I feel this... this "experience" running through my veins, radiating out through my fingers in warm shards of light. D-during one of my various past lives, I must have administrated many sites, introduced countless applications to their proper boards... the harmonies, I can still hear them ringing...
Roleplay Sample: What is roleplaying?
Other: Imagine the sun spilling over the horizon, pinks and oranges smeared across the sky like the trails of a million shooting stars. The twinkling stars' winking start to fade, but you know they haven't disappeared, that their images have just been masked by the new day. They will always be there, watching over the earth with quiet smiles, waiting for night to come again. And that is how I will look if I receive this position. I will smile like the stars. And as I smile, you will feel the work lifting off your shoulders, the relief washing over you just like a little Honeybee, as it relieves its regurgitated mixture into another honeybee's jaws.

Last Edit: Apr 11, 2011 19:55:40 GMT -5 by ja'mie

shrimp Retired Staff 1,953 POSTS Pronouns: he/his last seen Oct 19, 2020 18:16:41 GMT -5	Searchin' for some staffs Apr 11, 2011 19:32:08 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by shrimp on Apr 11, 2011 19:32:08 GMT -5 Name: shrimp Age: -scuttles- Previous experience: -waves antennae- Roleplay Sample: -scurries away- Other: ._.

wingsonmyheels
Career Tribute

[M:-2485]

522 POSTS
last seen Apr 15, 2014 9:14:43 GMT -5

Never take life to seriously nobody gets out alive anyway.

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 11, 2011 19:53:17 GMT -5

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Post by wingsonmyheels on Apr 11, 2011 19:53:17 GMT -5

Name:
Age: The Swagmeister
Previous experience: Are you kidding me??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I've only had like 3000 jobs, but all of those are dead now... Wait, what are you looking at?? I'm not the reason they died, I'm NOT!! If you don't agree wit me Ima mesh you up.
Why should we choose you? Uhhhhhh, duh, I'm only the clear choice for the job, alright so I havn't posted yet, but my Rping is the best, in fact its probably better than urs. Screw it, it is better than yours, you should be honored to have me apply so just get on with it and accept me ya jackwagon.

Roleplay Sample: Oh, so now you need evidence that I'm as good as I am. HUH!! Look at me, look at me in my lucious brown eyes. THese are eyes of TALENT!! So you can take your example and stick it up your... Dee I'll save you some work and stop their XD
Other: Once again Dee would find Swag's language inappropriate.

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[/center]

thehungergamesrpg.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=characterplots&action=display&thread=21587

Entei Seam Resident 48 POSTS last seen Jul 20, 2013 0:47:04 GMT -5	Searchin' for some staffs Apr 11, 2011 19:53:42 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Entei on Apr 11, 2011 19:53:42 GMT -5 Name: Entei Age: RAAWR Previous Experience: Uses Flamethrower Roleplay sameple: Uses Blast Burn Other: RAWR [/center]
	'sexkitten: how the hell would I do that purpo--WHAT ABOUT LULU BOOBS'

Prince Inigo
Retired Staff

[M:-2830]

1,650 POSTS

last seen Jun 4, 2013 23:20:19 GMT -5

Your Rightful King!

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 12, 2011 13:41:56 GMT -5

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Post by Prince Inigo on Apr 12, 2011 13:41:56 GMT -5

Name: William of Norway
Age: 15
Previous experience: admin of many sites; moderators of a few
Why should we choose you?: Well, I'm pretty friendly. I like being social but I also know when to get work done - especially when commanded by Aya and Lulu ~~you delegate-rs, you~~. Hopefully everyone has seen how active I am; and, I don't know. I would like to commit some time and effort into the site. Especially since they helped me improve my writing ~~tht usd 2 b lyke tisssssssssssssssss~~.
Roleplay Sample:
Malaudy could not believe the things she heard from that boy. Did he really say what she thought he said? How rude, how crass. He was never one for good words, but gracious! What she now thought was that her classmate was a total idiot of every sense of the word. Right down to the 't'.

He was just so sexist; and, he would dare say them right to her face.

Other: Thank you for holding the staff search.

The joke is that we don't hire males
jk

Last Edit: Apr 12, 2011 13:53:32 GMT -5 by Prince Inigo

ƠᴥƠ

8/8/10: Made moddemon (666 pc)

pH: f*** that s**t, luna! ***** bitch douche.

ALICE: Remove these shorts of obfuscation and let us gaze upon it-this so-called "hose"!

Alice, I hate you, but this quote is so... so... *dies*

semper
Retired Staff

2,354 POSTS
last seen Jan 1, 2014 0:57:11 GMT -5

Searchin' for some staffs Apr 12, 2011 14:02:35 GMT -5

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Post by semper on Apr 12, 2011 14:02:35 GMT -5

[/b] Cannibal

Age: 3.
1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209 7494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651 3282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102 7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461 2847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432 6648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920 9628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841 4695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179 3105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 9491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798 6094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056 8127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901 2249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290 2196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837 2978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522 3082533446850352619311881710100031378387528865875332083 8142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235 3787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909 2164201989380952572010654858632788659361533818279682303 0195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151 5574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754 6374649393192550604009277016711390098488240128583616035 6370766010471018194295559619894676783744944825537977472 6847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104 7521620569660240580381501935112533824300355876402474964 7326391419927260426992279678235478163600934172164121992 4586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927 2107975093029553211653449872027559602364806654991198818 3479775356636980742654252786255181841757467289097777279 3800081647060016145249192173217214772350141441973568548 1613611573525521334757418494684385233239073941433345477 6241686251898356948556209921922218427255025425688767179 0494601653466804988627232791786085784383827967976681454 1009538837863609506800642251252051173929848960841284886 2694560424196528502221066118630674427862203919494504712 3713786960956364371917287467764657573962413890865832645

Previous Experience: I have forever been a cannibal and will forever be a cannibal. I am also a member of the CAH, Cannibals At Heart, and we ~~eat pesky humans~~ assist the community. ~~I am also head of CTOTWF, Cannibals Taking Over The World Foo', and we are secretly plotting your demise.~~

Why Should We Choose You? ~~I will keep the population down to a reasonable number by nomming them~~ Because I am a cannibal.

Roleplay Sample:

I once had a friend. I EATED HIM. The end.

Other: -licks a corpse-

[/ul][/size]

Last Edit: Apr 12, 2011 14:03:26 GMT -5 by semper

i hear the mountains calling me home

phunke guest	Searchin' for some staffs Apr 13, 2011 22:10:58 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by phunke on Apr 13, 2011 22:10:58 GMT -5 ...Aaaaaand Semper won! Yay! ~~Prepare to be devoured, everyone?~~