Admitting it's hard. (open)
Jan 19, 2010 20:28:09 GMT -5
Post by tardisgirl on Jan 19, 2010 20:28:09 GMT -5
I look up from my work to see Dallas calling to me. I stand slowly, and my back crackles as I stretch it out.
"Brookside, get yourself up and out to the Bengals, they're due to The Capitol in a month!" Dallas reminds me impatiently as I walk toward him in an easy gait.
"Sorry, Dal, but reptiles aren't my thing." I gesture to the 30 foot python wrapped around my torso.
He snorts, "As if ANY animal could be not your thing! You're a trainer born and bred! I don't accept excuses!" He gestures around us at the other 34 pythons in the cage, "Do you think that they'll understand if this shipment is late because 'pythons aren't your thing' ?!" He mimics angrily.
Heat rises into my cheeks and it's all I can do to keep my answer calm. "Reptiles."
"What?" He asks, pausing in his rampage, a confused look on his face.
"I said that reptiles weren't my thing. Not pythons." I state quietly, and as humbly as I can manage.
He opens his mouth angrily, and then chuckles, his face softening. "I know you hate reptiles girl, but you are two hours behind on your schedule, and it won't be easy to make up. You're better'n this. You've NEVER been late before. Not since your father..." He trails off, looks me up and down, and then quietly adds, "It's about Finn, isn't it?"
He's right, it is. But I don't want to admit it. I sigh and slump to the ground, resting my head in my hands.
He sits down beside me. And while Dallas is at least twenty years my father's senior, at 64 years of age, he's still the closest thing I've got left.
Dallas, with his salt and pepper hair that's about as long as horse hair and about the texture of thin barbed wire, his big nose, piercing grey eyes, that only seem to show kindness once in a blue moon, his stocky build, and the kind of friendliness that'd give chills to a rattler, sad but true, is the only person who's ever come close to filling the gap that was left when my father was murdered.
"So, now that he's dead you took his shift for two weeks because? It can't have been that you felt the animals needed you." He asks.
"No." I say, trying to keep inside the tears that so treacherously want to leak out.
"Then why?" He asks.
"His family needed the money, and it was only two weeks, I thought I could do his part and mine easily..." I trail off when my voice begins to crack.
He shakes his head. "Only you girl, only you."
Anger flairs up in me at his tone, the kind that spills forth from repressed emotions and to much practice at keeping them to yourself. "What? Only I'd be dumb enough to think I could do his work and earn his money? Only I'd be foolish enough to think I could do his part and give the money his family needs to survive to them?!" I hiss, enraged.
"Nope." He states quietly, "Only you would care."
I halt, unsure whether this is a compliment or an insult.
"Only you would think his meager salary would actually help his family, that you could help, and only you would feel the need to do something like that, not out of guilt, but out of sorrow." He shakes his head. "Ever since you're dad died you've taken death, even the animals deaths, kind of hard."
I nod, because I know he's right. While I may seem awesome for doing this for his family, it's just me, trying to fill the hole in my own heart, by doing things for the families of deceased, that I couldn't do for my own.
He sees the look in my eyes and shakes his head. "You look so self-sacrificial, and on the inside you feel like a crud all the more because of that, am I right?"
Yup, he is. "Yes." I whisper.
"Well, you're neither, Iris, you're not a saint, or a sinner, just a kid who's lost her father." He holds my chin and looks into my face, "That’s nothing to be ashamed of, and if I know one thing about Connor Brookside, it's that he went out on a high note, one that most of us couldn't dream to achieve. And if I know one thing about Iris Brookside," he smiles fondly down at me, "it's 'like father, like daughter.'"
He gives my shoulders a squeeze and then pulls me up. He may be gruff, but no one could have made me feel better, even if he did it in a harsh, tell-it-like-it-is way. Maybe that way is best.
"Now, there's a newbie here to take over Finn's shift, so you're back to normal duty. And," he straightens my uniform and goes from dad to ornery army general, "since you've already managed to waist five and half minutes of our days, so GET BACK TO WORK!" He practically yells in my face.
As he turns to go, I just catch a wink out of the corner of my eye, and then he's gone.
I feel something wet on my cheek and look down to see Jimmy, the python I'm training, looking up at me. "Sorry, buddy, I forgot you were here." I disentangle him from my torso. "I suppose I'm pretty sappy, huh?" I ask with a grin. Jimmy looks up at me with his beady black eyes. "Well, anyway, thanks for listening so patiently," I set him on the ground, and then walk to the door. I wink at the snake as I close the door to his cage, "And thanks for the 'good luck' kiss. You're not so bad, for a reptile." I add and turn to go.
I grin with a newfound resolution, and turn toward the hallway that leads to my Bengals.
"Brookside, get yourself up and out to the Bengals, they're due to The Capitol in a month!" Dallas reminds me impatiently as I walk toward him in an easy gait.
"Sorry, Dal, but reptiles aren't my thing." I gesture to the 30 foot python wrapped around my torso.
He snorts, "As if ANY animal could be not your thing! You're a trainer born and bred! I don't accept excuses!" He gestures around us at the other 34 pythons in the cage, "Do you think that they'll understand if this shipment is late because 'pythons aren't your thing' ?!" He mimics angrily.
Heat rises into my cheeks and it's all I can do to keep my answer calm. "Reptiles."
"What?" He asks, pausing in his rampage, a confused look on his face.
"I said that reptiles weren't my thing. Not pythons." I state quietly, and as humbly as I can manage.
He opens his mouth angrily, and then chuckles, his face softening. "I know you hate reptiles girl, but you are two hours behind on your schedule, and it won't be easy to make up. You're better'n this. You've NEVER been late before. Not since your father..." He trails off, looks me up and down, and then quietly adds, "It's about Finn, isn't it?"
He's right, it is. But I don't want to admit it. I sigh and slump to the ground, resting my head in my hands.
He sits down beside me. And while Dallas is at least twenty years my father's senior, at 64 years of age, he's still the closest thing I've got left.
Dallas, with his salt and pepper hair that's about as long as horse hair and about the texture of thin barbed wire, his big nose, piercing grey eyes, that only seem to show kindness once in a blue moon, his stocky build, and the kind of friendliness that'd give chills to a rattler, sad but true, is the only person who's ever come close to filling the gap that was left when my father was murdered.
"So, now that he's dead you took his shift for two weeks because? It can't have been that you felt the animals needed you." He asks.
"No." I say, trying to keep inside the tears that so treacherously want to leak out.
"Then why?" He asks.
"His family needed the money, and it was only two weeks, I thought I could do his part and mine easily..." I trail off when my voice begins to crack.
He shakes his head. "Only you girl, only you."
Anger flairs up in me at his tone, the kind that spills forth from repressed emotions and to much practice at keeping them to yourself. "What? Only I'd be dumb enough to think I could do his work and earn his money? Only I'd be foolish enough to think I could do his part and give the money his family needs to survive to them?!" I hiss, enraged.
"Nope." He states quietly, "Only you would care."
I halt, unsure whether this is a compliment or an insult.
"Only you would think his meager salary would actually help his family, that you could help, and only you would feel the need to do something like that, not out of guilt, but out of sorrow." He shakes his head. "Ever since you're dad died you've taken death, even the animals deaths, kind of hard."
I nod, because I know he's right. While I may seem awesome for doing this for his family, it's just me, trying to fill the hole in my own heart, by doing things for the families of deceased, that I couldn't do for my own.
He sees the look in my eyes and shakes his head. "You look so self-sacrificial, and on the inside you feel like a crud all the more because of that, am I right?"
Yup, he is. "Yes." I whisper.
"Well, you're neither, Iris, you're not a saint, or a sinner, just a kid who's lost her father." He holds my chin and looks into my face, "That’s nothing to be ashamed of, and if I know one thing about Connor Brookside, it's that he went out on a high note, one that most of us couldn't dream to achieve. And if I know one thing about Iris Brookside," he smiles fondly down at me, "it's 'like father, like daughter.'"
He gives my shoulders a squeeze and then pulls me up. He may be gruff, but no one could have made me feel better, even if he did it in a harsh, tell-it-like-it-is way. Maybe that way is best.
"Now, there's a newbie here to take over Finn's shift, so you're back to normal duty. And," he straightens my uniform and goes from dad to ornery army general, "since you've already managed to waist five and half minutes of our days, so GET BACK TO WORK!" He practically yells in my face.
As he turns to go, I just catch a wink out of the corner of my eye, and then he's gone.
I feel something wet on my cheek and look down to see Jimmy, the python I'm training, looking up at me. "Sorry, buddy, I forgot you were here." I disentangle him from my torso. "I suppose I'm pretty sappy, huh?" I ask with a grin. Jimmy looks up at me with his beady black eyes. "Well, anyway, thanks for listening so patiently," I set him on the ground, and then walk to the door. I wink at the snake as I close the door to his cage, "And thanks for the 'good luck' kiss. You're not so bad, for a reptile." I add and turn to go.
I grin with a newfound resolution, and turn toward the hallway that leads to my Bengals.
Sorry. Do you have any other Districts you'd like to rp in?
