never looking back, again. --viv

The bad, sad thoughts would wash away from Alaska when she was hiding in the woods, cutting her wrists. But her wrist stung with pain. At least it gave her way to hold on to reality. Some people would lose their minds. Scream in their basement, throw a tantrum in their rooms, even take drugs and alcohol to forget about it. But this was Alaska's way. And she didn't give a fuck what you thought, she would do anything that she wanted to, because last time she checked, it was none of your business, thank you very much. Maybe this wasn't the safest way, but doing drugs and throwing chairs at walls was more dangerous; you'd most likely get caught. Sure, someone could easily just look at Alaska's wrists and see the scars there, but that's why she had the bracelets, to hide the scars -- and hey, in Alaska's opinion, the bracelets were pretty cute.

After cutting herself hard this time, Alaska grabbed a twig and kept snapping it in half, 'til it was no bigger than her thumb. then she flung it into a frozen pond. I don't give a fuck, let the peacekeepers find me, trespassing. I don't give. Rather be somewhere else then stuck in the place we call District Nine. Alaska would originally apologize for saying something like that, but since it was in her head and no one else was here, she didn't have to. Alaska loved it out here in the woods, where she could be herself easily. She didn't have to hide her cuts, or pretend like she was just naturally skinny. You should really get back to District 9. The part of her mind that told her right from wrong was demanding that she returned to the save haven. But Alaska refused to go back there. She never wants to go back to District Nine. For Alaska, it's way too complicated there, school, all her secrets, and being herself.

"Do this, do that. Clean this, clean that." Alaska yelled in a poor imitation of people who forced her to do labor, she wasn't a very good actor (and sure, it is a stretch when I say forced, because it's for her own good but I think you get it). She sat on a rock. Thinking about why she had to start high school being a bitch, and why she thought she had to look perfect, and lastly, why she hated her life. That might have been the hardest question she thought to herself. Alaska was thinking about why she did hate herself, that she forgot to notice that the sun was finally rising. Good thing Alaska wrote a note to her father saying she was going with her friends for a walk. She thought that was a pretty believable lie.