Live in Your Imagination [Tea]

~Amira~


"Amira don't be ridiculous... If you think you're being cute or funny or something, you're not. So just stop it."

His words only made Amira struggle harder, growling at him while she tried to maneuver her knife to make contact with his flesh. How the was he calling her ridiculous? He was the one who barged in on her and then grabbed her without warning. Amira was a career, you didn't just grab at her and expect not to get attacked or at least questioned. He acted like he knew her, like she owed him some sort of recognition or something. Well he wasn't going to get any from her, she had enough of him quite honestly.

Then her knife can in contact with his skin, tearing through his shirt leaving a nice little wound. Not serious, but it clearly sent the message that she wasn't happy with this situation and she was going to fight him if he tried to restrain her further. But apparently he was getting pretty sick of being beat on. Because he clamped onto her wrist sending shooting pain down her arm. It wasn't long before he had ripped the weapon from her fingers and thrown it to the ground out of her reach.

"Amira! Amira, dammit, stop. What the hell are you-"

"What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing!? You grabbed me, and I'm defending myself."

This was getting to be way too much trouble for Amira's taste. All she had wanted to do is put in some extra training, that's all. And instead this happens, on the day her trainer isn't around too. Life apparently was pretty pissed at her today for one reason or another, or just got amusement from watching her suffer. This guy was so much bigger than her, he had a huge advantage in sheer strength, but she had her own brand of strength and unorthodox ways of taking down opponents. In the next moment he froze, Amira wriggled her way free of his grasp.

"Amira....I don't...Amira? Stop. You're...you're scaring me. I'm Duke, remember? You're boyfriend. Or well...yeah. You're boyfriend. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Please...just...just snap out of it."

Amira quickly snatched her knife from the floor and took a defensive stance, but paused when he spoke. His name was Duke, and really honest to god thought he knew her. Even stranger, he claimed to be her boyfriend. His was completely crazy! She didn't have a boyfriend, she had no one. Her mother left her. And her trainer had told her that her father had been murdered by some other creep career. How the hell could he expect her to remember something that never was, or snap out of something that didn't exist? The sincerity in his voice is what tugged at Amira the most. He was obviously hurt and confused. But what about? None of what Duke said had actually ever been as far as she knew. Her old nerves kicked up and an ever so slight shiver ran through her, as she began twirling the knife in her fingers.

"There's nothing to snap out of. I don't know what your on, or if you're just that nuts, but I've never had a boyfriend, I've never met you before, you're not making sense. Sorry to disappoint."

~Amira~


Amira's emotions battled each other, anger against fear and confusion. She was having a hard time resisting the urge to him to the wall via knives and make him tell her the whole story what he though he knew about her and them, from a safe distance. Her trainer did mention a blonde boy career she used to know, or maybe that didn't happen either. The lack of ability to recall distinct events and details was starting to frustrate Amira as well as begin to scare her a bit. What had her trainer said. Something about he killed her father, tried to kill her, left her for dead and that's when her trainer came along and helped her. But he had never told Amira that she had been in a relationship with Duke, or ever really knew him.


"Now that I really think about it, I think I do know you. My trainer said you murdered my dad, tried to kill me, and then left me for dead. So if that's your definition of boyfriend, then yeah, I guess you were my boyfriend."


Her fingers twirled the knife quicker now, it's speed increase along side her racing thoughts. This was just getting creepy, Amira felt alone, and it was like someone had blindfolded her mind. A burning sensation tore through her stomach, she clutched it with one hand and growled as if to frighten it into stopping. Whatever the hell was going on was getting way to complicated. A terrible headache began to present itself. There were bruises and cuts on her body she didn't remember getting. She had previously ignored them, but now with things the way they were maybe there was more than meets the eye? No. Just no. Duke was the crazy one here, not her. Only she wished she was as confident as her mind tried to make it sound.


"Amira, I'm not fighting you. No way. Just...just put the knife down, and we'll try to sort though this okay?"


Duke seemed almost afraid of her in a way. A small smirk twisted itself onto Amira's lips. Her voice a snide purr.


"What's wrong? Afraid of me? Smart boy. Because if you ever do anything to hurt me again, I'll turn you into a human pin cushion."


A small pang of guilt tapped at Amira, but she pushed it down with little effort. All Amira knew is that he had hurt her in the past and was now trying to manipulate her into believing all this crazy crap he was spewing. Should he come at her she would be ready to drive the blade into him. Though he did seem to be avoiding wanting to fight her. Which wasn't the worst thing, he looked strong, and she really wasn't up to a fight to the death right now. Not after training all week, and she was especially sore. The mystery cuts on her limbs and chest burned when she took a stepped back carefully watching Duke.


"Yes, you did have a boyfriend... I'm him. I don't know what happened to you, but you need to drop that knife and listen to me, alright?"


"I don't ever remember having a boyfriend in my life. And of course you know what happened to me, because you did it!"

~Amira~


Amira was frightened by Duke's words, they were far too exact, too detailed, to be fake. He was getting this from somewhere, and that was what had her on edge. Maybe he knew someone else who looked like her? Nope, that couldn't be it. Who else has had their father murdered and then been attacked by the same person, only Amira. And only she would be in a situation like this one. The knife in her hand provided some comfort, she could take him out before he had the chance to pick up a weapon if things came to that. There were actually a lot of ways things could play out and she didn't really care to find out just how wrong something else in her life could go.

"Amira...or...sweetheart, I promise you can trust me. And I...I don't want- would never- hurt you.... And you have to believe me. I don't know what else I can..."

~Amira~


Shaking fingers traced over the wound that marred Amira's head and neck. It was the most severe of the mysterious marks she had been finding on herself. It was substantial enough that she should clearly remember how she got it. But when she tried to recall the event, nothing.... A blank picture. The four figures that had been occupying her mind were of a sinister nature, maybe they did it?

The voices in my head did it... What the hell is wrong with me?

Duke swearing brought her back to reality long enough to see her knife had put a shallow cut on his shoulder. Under the scar he claimed she had made. Amira didn't even know exactly why she threw the weapon other than she had felt threatened. But Duke seemed harmless at this point. She had cut him with a knife and still he was trying to reason with her instead of fighting her. Judging by his size if it came down to a battle of shear strength she would lose every time. That was why Amira used long distant attacks, and mental warfare on her male opponents. Those tactics didn't always give people the best opinion of her, but when you find a venom that fits, use it. Slowly she stood back up, legs threatening to give out. This feeling was like being in a thick fog without a light and voices were calling from every which way. How do you choose what to do when you can't see your own hand in front of your face?

When Duke saw her wound he of course asked the obvious question, where she had got it. And apologized for not being there to protect her.

"What happened? Or do you...not remember?"

"I shouldn't need protecting!" she paused a moment, "I don't remember anything... I see weird things, but just shadows. I have no clue anymore."

Having felt like she had shared a little too much Amira took a nervous step back. Pulling another hidden knife out her hazel eyes scanned the room looking for anything she could use as an advantage over him. Even though he hadn't made a single move against her she still felt as if she should be ready to kill him at any time. She was a career, wasn't that what they were supposed to do? Amira's trainer had told her that no one wanted to help her just to help. They always were looking to get something out of it, they couldn't be trusted. No matter how sincere they may seem... He pulled her into a hug, a first she went rigid and struggled for a moment, before giving in and leaning against him. It was far to exhausting to keep fighting when he really wasn't trying to hurt her.

"I want to remember, but I can't..."

Her voice was a pained whisper. No one asked for something like this to happen to them. No one wanted their life to become a mystery to themselves. Even more disturbing was that someone had to have done this to her. The wounds covering her body weren't just everyday nicks and dings, someone had maliciously gone after her and inflicted some nasty wounds. Though her mind was even more wounded than her body, she would prefer the reverse if she had the choice. At least then she would know who was who, and what was what. She looked up at Duke and felt a tinge of jealousy. He knew who he was, and who she was to him. Must be nice...

All her strength seemed to have been drained just by this meeting. It required far too much thought and effort. Nothing made sense, and he more she tried to put the pieces together, the more confusing it got. It was all just a pile of pieces of her life, and none seemed to fit together. The links were gone, little details of important events, gone... Amira could hear Duke's heart beating, he was alive. But was she? Lately it seemed she was the living dead. Not caring for others feelings, and not caring about her own pain. She was trying to ignore the suffering, but ever so slowly, everything was creeping up on her. And sooner or later it would catch her. Because she was running, but wasn't getting away. Amira allowed Duke to remove the knife from her grasp. It wasn't doing much good at this point anyway. What he said next perked her interest. He was going to trying and explain things. Whether or not it would help her was still to be decided.


"You can try but, and I want to trust you, but... There isn't anyway to be sure, nothing is sure anymore."


Duke seemed nervous before he began. He started at their meeting. That made sense. She let the words absorb into her frazzled mind. The event he was describing seemed more like she had seen it happen, rather than been apart of it. Running right into each other, how ironic... Amira stayed silent, there was nothing to say or do other than try to make sense of it all. When he reached the part where she had hurled a knife it him it seemed a little more familiar, it sounded more like something she would do. She was a career after all, trying to kill him made perfect sense. A small smile crept onto her face. But that happiness was short lived when he told her she'd kissed him out of nowhere. And the kissing had continued until she invited him over. Yeah right. That would never happen. But he said it had, and a part of her still believed him. Amira's face twisted into a grimace, her head pounding. Still nothing. It was like when your TV went fuzzy and you could barely see the picture.


According to Duke dinner hadn't gone well, she told him about her abusive father. And then he'd abandoned her to get beaten. This struck a cord with Amira, he could make up any happy story he wanted, but he was telling her this instead. She couldn't think of any other reason than he was telling the truth. But this all seemed so impossible. Because it is, stupid. He's gonna kill you the second he gets the chance.... She froze, the room seemed to have gone subzero. It was one of the shadowy voices... One of the many nameless images that poisoned her mind. A high pitched shriek pierced the air. A few deep breaths and a trembling second later though she was able to pull herself together. It was just her mind playing tricks on her, nothing too serious. All in her head...


His voice chocked up after he told her he'd killed her father, but thought he'd been too late to save her. Someone actually cared if she died? Wasn't he supposed to be a career? She was a career to, if she died, it would have been less competition. Either this guy was absolutely insane or terribly love sick. Amira was divided over which it was. He doesn't love you, never did. Don't you see he's trying to take advantage of you? If he's not going to kill you then he's planning to- "Shut up!" Her voice was a broken whisper, not directed at Duke but the sinister voice that was hellbent on making her even more of a mental case than she already. If Duke didn't already think she was insane, surely he would now. And then he'd leave... Leave her all alone to battle the demons inside. He killed your father, not me... I'm not the monster. A desperate whimper was all Amira could managed as she clutched Duke's shirt.


Amira's eyes widened. He'd told off her mother, only to leave break up with her because careers should not feel the way he did. Tears pricked the corners of her hazel eyes. He had left her. Anger flared up in the pit of her stomach. How dare he do something like that and then try to take her back like this... But it only got worse. They fought. Not like an argument, like a fight to the death. She'd marred his shoulder and he'd slashed her open. Unconsciously a hand moved over her stomach. The scar, it was large enough, and severe enough it fit the description of the wound he'd given her. To add insult to injury he had planned to leave her to die there. But what could she have possibly said to make him spare her life? And what the hell was she on at the time to make out with her almost-killer in a pool of her own blood? You're a damn fool, that's what was wrong, you should kill him now... The knife is right down there sweetheart. He's bigger but a shot to the kidney will serve the purpose well. It was still there, still ravaging her thoughts. No peace, no quiet. No way to decide things on her own. "Go away damn you, you're a lier!" God Amira hoped Duke didn't think she was talking to him. But talking to a voice in your head wasn't much better.


"You were in the hospital for a month I think. I didn't have the balls to go see you for a couple days, but finally I decided to grow a pair, and be a man.'


A strange sound that was some sort of mix between a laugh and a sob came from Amira. So much to try and understand at once. The clarity she had hoped for was being fogged over by her new little menace. It was getting to the point she'd be willing to slit her own throat if it didn't go away soon. It was in her head damn it! It knew things she didn't want to share with anyone! Forcing her attention fully on Duke a sense of relief washed over her. He did come and visit her after all. Maybe their relationship hadn't been that bad. Who are you kidding? He tried to kill you! What part of tried to kill you don't you understand! Once again her thoughts were broken into by the unwelcome visitor. "Who the hell are you? At this point she was begging for answers from both Duke and the one holding her mind hostage. Wouldn't you like to know. Let me tell you this though, I know things. And I know you're just like me Amira. You're insides are ugly and mangled, just like me.... You're just like me...


She yanked on her blond locks, pulling a few strands loose and letting them fall to the ground. This was madness in its purest form. Amira was insane. She was so far gone. Surely Duke would run while he still could. He would see her breaking before his very eyes and leave. He didn't once... Even if he came back, there was no more reasons to come back if she didn't recognize him... He blamed himself for whatever had happened to her. It happened in his absences, and he felt guilty. But it wasn't his fault... It was whoever was twisted enough to hunt her down and torture her like this who was at fault. Blinding pain struck her like a locomotive, dropping her onto her side wailing. But ever so slowly, dim images played behind her eyelids. Meeting in the park, dinner, the beating, hospital, Duke leaving, the fight, Duke coming back, and meeting his parents... It was true, it had to be, she was starting to be able to see it for herself. He hadn't lied. As screwed up as it sounded, he hadn't lied to her after all. Bitter tears leaked form her eyes at last. She wanted to remember all of it. But it was so patchy. Her attackers face/faces were kept in a dark veil as well. What if she never was able to figure things out... What then?


"I, I know you're telling the truth. Bits and pieces of it, I can remember. But that's all... And it just won't go away. Make it go away, please, I'm begging you!"