|><|.Starting.|.From.|.Scratch.|><| [Pika]

∂αмєη
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Post by ∂αмєη on Oct 27, 2010 13:34:06 GMT -5

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

I never thought it would turn out this way. I thought that maybe, just maybe, Sammie and I could live a happy life. We deserved that much with loosing Evangelic to the Games. But I guess some higher power decided against that. We were never supposed to have a happy relationship. Or a happy life too. Conflict rises in my mind. I want to think that it was all just a dream. That Sammie still loves me, that Eva is still alive. But that's impossible. I feel the pain. I know my shoulder was stabbed. I know my daughter died. And I know my one true love must hate me.

Moments after that man stabbed my daughter, a shoe smashed into my jaw, almost breaking it. And then I watched as Sammie left with Eva's limp body. But none of that mattered. My daughter was dead. Evangelic Park-Ryder was dead. And so was Park-Ryder. Sammie wasn't mine. Eva wasn't mine. The luck wasn't mine. If only I had been a few seconds earlier, or if I hadn't lost her at all. If I wasn't even born in the first place, maybe none of this would've happened to my friends in District 12. Maybe things would be normal.

Tears pour out my open eyes, blinding me. I know I'm in a hospital. I don't care if I can't see anything. I can still feel things. And I hate that. I wish I had no feelings. No sadness, joy, jealousy, hatred. Just pain. Then I'd be able to handle all this heartbreak and bone-break I keep receiving. I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

And what hurts the most was the days that followed. The hatred I saw in Sammie's eyes when I went to her house to talk. She kicked me out. I expected that much at least. I just wish things didn't have to be this way. And maybe they don't have to be. I slowly turn onto my side, and my eyes look up at the IV needle. All I need is an overdose, and I'll be dead. With much urgency, my fingers pry open the bag of liquid, and then slowly pour more in. Now, all I have to do is wait. Wait for the liquid to go through my system. Wait to feel pain.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

pikasoccer

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Post by pikasoccer on Oct 27, 2010 21:14:46 GMT -5

To see you when I wake up,
is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same,
as I do, is a three-fold Utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.

Time heals all wounds. Right. No, that's not always the case. The days that followed Eva's death were horrific, and I never wanted to relive them again. Along with the help of my father, I had to hold a service for Eva. No way we could afford a proper funeral. What ended up happening was a few family members and friends gathered together to remember the short life of Evangelic Park-Ryder. We wrapped her up in her favorite blankets, lightly placed her in her makeshift grave, and decorated the empty space with her toys. At that point, I couldn't handle it anymore. I ran out of the clearing where the Seam buried their dead, past Soren's house, past the bakery, past.... the alley.

The alley.

I know, in my mind, heart, and soul, that the worst thing I could do would be to return to the alley. The alley where Soren was stabbed. The alley where I saw my daughter's life abruptly end.

And I knew I had to go back.

I cautiously, ever so slowly, eased my way into the dark, foreboding alley. Water slimed down the brick walls, and grime coated the concrete. The emotions were just too much. I could not go on. My heart had been ripped out, torn into millions of pieces, and scattered around the earth, never to be put back together again. Nobody, and I mean nobody, knows what I was going through.

I could not go on.

I slinked back onto the repulsively dirty wall, and dropped to the floor. I felt the damp concrete slip through my pants, and I knew that my bottom was now soaked. Pity if somebody found me in this state, exhausted, desolate, and an emotional wreck.

I could not go on.

Nose running and eyes red and puffy from my salty, too-many-times-spilled tears, I eventually look back up towards the entrance of the alley. Empty, like it should be. Nobody comes back here. I don't even know why it exists. But why did I look up? I knew nobody was going to be here. So, did I expect somebody to walk towards me, sweep me into their arms, and make me believe everything was going to be okay? No. Of course I didn't. Because the one person who could do that for me, is gone from my life. He let all this misery happen. He made me know that I could not go on without either of them. And now they are both gone.

I could not go on.
I could not go on.

I know what I had to do.

Not caring that my pants were soaked, I sprinted back to my house. Dad was at work. Perfect.

I ran to the medicine cabinet. And pulled out the bottle. And opened it. And emptied the thing. Into my mouth.

_________________________________________

I am awakened from my welcomed slumber by the loud commotion of several people. What? Am I dead? No. I'm not dead. I'm perfectly alive.

I manage to open up my eyes. I'm in a hospital. What?! This is not what I wanted. I do a full sweep of the room. And I see a gurney adjacent to mine. The privacy blinds are wrapped around it, but there's no mistaking the form of the person on top of it. Not when you've known them your whole life. Been through so much together.

Soren Ryder.

The several people I had heard were surrounding Soren's bed, paying no attention to me. What the hell is going on? Being my stupid self, I cry out.

"SOREN!"

Last Edit: Oct 30, 2010 13:54:30 GMT -5 by pikasoccer

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Post by ∂αмєη on Nov 19, 2010 11:15:59 GMT -5

Soren Dragan Ryder
Yes, this is my bio.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I'm dead. My wif- sorry, ex-wife no longer cares for me, and my one and only daughter is lying in the cold hard ground. Is it really worth fighting against the drugs trying to end my life.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

The machines are still going, ringing in my ears, telling me that I'm still trying to keep living. Well fuck life. It's never been nice to me anyways. First, there was my dear Evangelic, taken away to the Games as if she was just a piece of meat.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Then there was my daughter. I loved her. She was one of the only reasons why I lived. So, with her gone, does that mean I shouldn't live. I think so.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Finally, Sammie. I lo-

"SOREN!"

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

BeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBeBeBep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"SOREN!"

I finally come to, gasping in as much air as possible. My lungs demand for more. They demand for the breath that gives life, the thing I was just running away from. That scream though. That scream is what kept me from following the light to a better place. Because that scream is my better place. But I can't find the source. The one person that I want to see isn't surrounding me. Instead, I see the faces of my family, all with tears in their eyes. They expected me dead too. They must've. There's no way I could've come back, unless that scream hadn't happened.

I push myself up, ripping the wires from the machine. Immediately, I find myself drained. The energy is gone. I'm now just a walking corpse. That's how it is right? But I need to reach the scream. And there's the bed. There's the bed right. She's laying on it, attached to machines like I was. Faster. Walk quicker. Get to her now. There. My hands can touch her. They touch her face. Softly. Ever so softly. Then there's my lips, pressing against hers. Softly. Ever so softly. Her breath warms my lips. The warmth that seems to help my blood pump to my heart faster, keeping it beating.

"I love you Sammie."

Then I fall. And I hit the ground. And enter the oblivion that welcomes me with open arms.

I love you Sammie.

[OOC: Okay, I know I owe you so much more. I've held this off for a while, but this is literally ALL I can write. I have Gage in the hospital too, and he's taking all my hospital writing muse away, so I have almost none for Soren. But still, here's emotional wreck Ryder.]

[/size]

Last Edit: Nov 19, 2010 11:16:45 GMT -5 by ∂αмєη

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

pikasoccer

guest

Post by pikasoccer on Nov 21, 2010 16:42:21 GMT -5

OOC: Oh no, this is perfect :)

#7859A6 .:. Regular writing
#295EFF .:. Sammie's Speech
#A08BC1 .:. Another's Speech

My plan worked. Screaming seemed to have awakened Soren from whatever 'slumber' he happened to be in. I watch in awe as he struggles to sit up in bed. The expressions plastered on his family's faces switched from sorrow to amazement. Oh God, Soren! Don't get up! I know the cords attached to his arms were his lifelines. But still, he yanked them off as if they meant nothing to his being here.

He slowly made his way to my bed. At this point, tears are streaming down my cheeks, and his family is looking at me with contempt. Like I didn't deserve to be his other half.

He comes up to me, and his eyes tell a story of loss and pain. I'm sure my eyes express the same thing. He gently takes my face in his hands. His caress feels like a dream, it obviously cannot be real. No. It's not. Because I hate Soren now. And I'm dead. I took those pills and I'm dead. But that thought is eliminated as he presses his lips against mine. His breath seems to warm my entire body. He whispers words against my lips, words I never thought I would hear him utter again.

"I love you Sammie." And then he slams to the ground.

My kiss is abruptly interrupted when he falls. Not expecting him to break away so fast, I scream. I yank off the sheets that cover my body, and drop to the floor beside him. I find my arms around him, sobbing into his chest. Soon after, I feel the hands of the doctors clawing at my shirt, trying to separate me from Soren.

"No! Get away from me!" I scream at them, trying to pry their hands off of me.

But it's no use; they easily remove me from arm's reach of you, and throw me back onto the bed. I haven't stopped screaming. They quickly tie a strap around my waist, keeping me constrained onto the bed. Soon after comes the wrist restraints. I'm still screaming at them.

I feel a sudden sharp pain in my left arm. Whipping my head down, I see them plunge the rest of the medicine into my bloodstream. I scream louder. But it becomes fainter as I am greeted into the arms of sleep.

I give my all for one last word, one word, and then I'm gone.

"Soren."

OOC: I'm sorry this is so suckish. If you need anything added, just let me know ^^

Last Edit: Nov 21, 2010 20:14:35 GMT -5 by pikasoccer

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Post by ∂αмєη on Dec 4, 2010 13:41:31 GMT -5

Soren Dragan Ryder
Yes, this is my bio.

Writing : : : 555555
Speech : : : A4A4A4
Other Speech : : : E4E4E4
Voices : : : 8B0000

Darkness surrounds me. Not the kind that normally does. Not the kind that just brings me into sleep, or sadness. No, it's a kind that is sinister. One that makes me feel as if death is right around the corner. "Hello Soren. Welcome." I think I hear, when suddenly, a sharp blade appears on my shoulder. It belongs to a scythe, and I know Death has arrived to take me. He wishes to bring me with him into oblivion. I'm of no use to Sammie, to my family, to anybody. I sure as hell wasn't for Eva. Twice. My beautiful girl died twice.

"Just take me away now." I mutter, spreading my arms out, as if I'm about to take flight. This is it. I'm not good enough for life, for Sammie, for anybody. Oh damn Sammie. I'm sorry I'm going to have to leave you. I love her. But I just can't handle this. Death beckons me closer, and I take a step forward. His cloak surrounds me, and I know I'm gone. The ground leaves my feet, and the sky approaches faster and faster. The dark sky, and the dark ground. All of it's gone now, and all I can see are people standing around. I'm placed back down, on clouds this time, and I get a good look at the people. Evangelic, my original love, stands alongside each person I've ever loved. I'm running towards my best friend, and my little daughter. They fill up my arms, accepting my tight hug. My eyes meet with my old best friend, and tears flood them. My daughter must understand the moment, as she walks off.

"Evangelic..." I say quietly, but instantly, I'm holding her close, pressing my lips against hers. She looks different, but I know it's her. So you do age after death. Your appearance anyways. Her beauty makes my heart stop, and I'm only able to compare it to one other person. My wife. I look up, and see a woman walking forward, holding a striking resemblance to my Sammie. "Mrs. Park? I ask, grabbing hold of Evangelic's hand. She tightens her grip, and leans her head on my shoulder. "You must be Mr. Ryder. I've watched you with my husband and daughter. They need you." Her voice is like an angels. Well, it makes sense. She is dead after all. I only notice mine was like that too. So I am dead. How I can I return? I turn to my left, to face Evangelic. However, in her spot is Sammie. She wraps her arms around me, and kisses me passionately. I enjoy the moment, letting the feelings warm me up.

And then everything is gone. It's replaced with the sudden shocking through my body. "Clear!" Zap. The shock carries across my body, making me quiver. I can hear crying, screaming, gasping. A sudden burning feeling covers my chest. I'm alive! How did this happen? I fight to open my eyes. "His eyes are opening!" Then, the lights blind me. I feel strong though. Like all that's happened to me while I've been asleep has been the constant river of drugs pouring into my system. I manage to sit up, and I see the faces of my family once again. Kill them.

I freeze on the spot, fear driven into my mind. What was that? Who was that? I ask myself, sweat beginning to build on my forehead. Do it. Just kill them. Hello? Anybody here? Yeah. Me. Come on. You're smarter than that. It's nobody around you. They wouldn't want to die. But you want them to die. Specifically the doctor. He gave you me. I don't know what it is in my mind, but a sudden anger flows through my body. I reach over to the bedside table, grabbing hold of the scalpel. One shot. I feel the anger about to burst. I launch myself of the bed, digging the knife deep into the doctor's head. He hits the ground, giving me more anger. Then I run out the door.

Fleeing into the forest nearby, I fall to the ground, cradling myself. Good job. Now Death doesn't want you. You sent him instead. You get it? Death needed somebody to take, and you just got replaced. The anger builds up again, directed at the voice. Who the fuck are you!?

Your worst fucking nightmare. Welcome to hell.

WORDS: 728
NOTES: Soren now hears a voice.

Last Edit: Dec 4, 2010 14:56:25 GMT -5 by ∂αмєη

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

pikasoccer

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Post by pikasoccer on Dec 8, 2010 19:29:36 GMT -5

#4867D6 Sammie’s Speech
#0E51A7 Another’s Speech
#00487D Regular Writing
#015C65 Song Lyrics

Hey...oooh...
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun

It all started with that root in the path in the forest. If not for that root, I would have never tripped. Nor would I have the need to have Soren rescue me, nor would we have ever had fallen in love. I never would have been attacked by that horrid wolf near Soren’s strawberry patch, leaving me with eternally-lasting scars to remember it by. I never would have had Eva. I would never have lost her so soon, either. I never would be in the situation that I was in now. I often ask myself, ‘if I could, would I ever turn time back to make sure all of this never happened to me?’ No. Never would I have it any other way.

Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore

Thinking back to that day in the forest and the many days after that makes me smile, even considering where I’m at and what is going on around me. I can still remember the way that his arms around me on that first day made me feel, like all was right in the world. Like as long as I were in them, nothing and nobody could touch me. But of course I was wrong. I can recall every time he said, “I love you, Sammie.” The time when he first announced he loved me, in my house. How he had taken me into his arms then and kissed me, and I felt like I could be in them forever until Dad came ho-

And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything?
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

My phantasm ended abruptly as I hear a loud disarray of machines screaming, people gasping, and a heavy set of footsteps exiting the door of the room. I struggle to open my eyes, and what I see makes me want to vomit. A disgustingly large, thick puddle of maroon blood pools in the open area between the hospital beds. It grows by the second, and the source seems to be the doctor. A slim slice of shiny metal protrudes from his hair, and I knew somebody stabbed him. I glance around to every face in the room. Everyone has their attention focused on anything but me, assuming that I’m still in my little reverie with the drugs. I quickly do a headcount, and note one person missing.

Soren.

I rip the abundance of cords from my skin and fling the sheets off of me. I automatically feel drained of all my energy, but that isn’t going to stop me today. I’ve let it affect me too much these past couple of years. I jump off of the bed, feeling the crisp bite of the tiles underneath my bare feet. I scramble out the door and look into a world that contains a million places for Soren to hide. But I know where I will find him: the forest. I turn my gaze in the general aim of the place that I internally vowed to myself I would never return to, and began to run.

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head

I jog quickly past a park, saturated with the laughter and words of the District Twelve kids. Only for a couple more years will they be able to enjoy the little things in life. Then they will have so much to be afraid of; reapings, hunger, and sickness do not even begin to cover what they will have to have cycle through their minds every single day. They don’t have enough years on them to fathom it all. And I hope that they can keep their innocence for a little while longer, because Eva didn’t. She didn’t even get a chance to live her life. Neither the older nor the younger did.

I reach the forest within a matter of minutes, but even that amount of time is too late. I was hoping with my heart, mind and soul that I would find him in one piece, mentally and physically. I don’t know what I would do with myself if I lost Eva and Soren.

Eva.

How quick the sun can, drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything

Why was I here again, looking for him, risking my life? Oh. That’s right. I didn’t know why. Soren let Eva be murdered. Soren was the one that got him stabbed in the shoulder. Soren did it all. Let it all happen. Everything I saw seemed to be coated in a layer of black because of Soren.

All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll ever be...yeah...

I almost turned back. I almost ran back to the hospital, begged for forgiveness from everyone, and promised to be a good little patient who would forever become involved with head meds and morphine. But why would I do that? That’s no life. I’d rather be dead than have that life.

All of this ran through my mind as I came up upon Soren. He was curled into himself, looking more helpless than I’ve ever seen him. He seemed to be in pain, but more internal than external.

I crouch down beside him. I hesitantly reach out my hand, and then snatch it back as if Soren were a dead carcass. Why should I care about him now? Why should I love him anymore? But that wouldn’t be right of me to ask. Because I’ll always love Soren. Nobody can doubt that, especially not me. I loved him for my sake, and I loved him for Eva’s.

Right now, at this moment, is when I missed Eva the most. Both of them. Maybe if the first Eva had never died, she would have been the one to fall in love with Soren, and start a family with him. Maybe all of this wouldn’t have happened to him if Eva didn’t die. And maybe little Eva would have a greater mom than I am.

Uh huh...uh huh...ooh...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I look at Soren again with a look of pity. I let a tear drop as I see him trying to fight through something. I don’t know how, but I know that I’ll never be able to do anything about this. I cannot help him in any way; he’s going to have to fight it on his own.

I gently place my hand on his brow and brush back his hair, which is sopping wet with sweat and the dew from the forest floor. I continue on with this somewhat calming remedy, and I can only think of one thing to say. It’s most definitely the wrong thing to say, considering he probably isn’t asleep.

“Soren, wake up.”

Last Edit: Dec 27, 2010 23:28:55 GMT -5 by pikasoccer

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Post by ∂αмєη on Dec 8, 2010 20:24:48 GMT -5

Soren Dragan Ryder
Click Here

Soren's Writing : : : 555555
Soren's Speech : : : A4A4A4
Other Speech : : : E4E4E4
Voice Writing : : : 8B0000
Voice Speaking : : : 702A2A
Thoughts in italics.
Speaking to the voices in bold.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've been in a few fights in my life. One of them was when I was younger, a stupid childish fight that almost every kid has had. It begins with the person taking your crayons, or eating your glue. Something really stupid and pointless. You'd get home with a few bruises and black eyes, maybe a cut. Your parents would comfort you, telling you they will deal with it, even though they never actually follow through with the punishment to the other child. That was it though. He or she never touched you again. They just pretended like nothing happened. The bruises and cuts would go away, the pain subsiding. The memories would be placed further back in your mind, prepared to just disappear.

Then, you finally get old enough to actually start shit. You bring weapons into the match, actually causing bodily harm to your opponent. I had multiple weapon fights with people I didn't even know. Most got me stab wounds, bullet holes, arrows dug deep into my leg. They were always the worst fights. Wait, that's kind of common sense. If the fight gets you more pain, it's worse. The frequency of a weapon fight increased in my life ever since I met Sammie.

There's one other fight though that I had the good fortune to say I never experience it. The mental ones where part of you fights against another. It breaks you down from the inside, turning you into nothing but an emotional mess. There's always a first for everything though, that first being today for me. The dark voice fights for my mind, I know that much is true. A horrid headache controls my brain, forcing me to close my eyes and welcome to darkness. Come on Soren. You're a lot stronger than this. Fight against me. Give me a challenge. Shut up! Leave me alone. A stab of pain hits my left temple, bringing a loud scream out of my mouth. This is the mental fight I'm talking about.

I try and think of only one thing. Sammie. Her face fills my mind, pushing the beast out of the way momentarily. Then it comes back twice as hard, breaking the image in my mind. Fuck you! I growl to it, clawing at my head. Then I cracked. Falling into the oblivion of unconsciousness. I win.

-

The hand brushes my hair out of my face, giving more room for the wind to cool my hot skin. I'm in a full sweat, maybe also drenched in the dew from the grass. The light snow has soaked my clothing, making me shiver uncontrollably. "Soren, wake up." My eyes shoot open in shock at the new voice. Come on fool. You know the deal. Kill her. The voices laugh fills my ears, the only way to block it being the rough skin of my hands pressing against my ear. I recognize the voice though and the face. "Sammie." She hates you pal. You let her daughter die. All your fault. She's here to finish you off. You're right. She doesn't like me anymore. I push myself to my feet, my hand grabbing onto a rock as I rise. "You abandoned me. You don't care for me anymore. I lost our daughter. I broke our love."

I run past her, dropping the rock. I can't handle this. She betrayed me.

She betrayed our love.

Last Edit: Dec 8, 2010 20:54:45 GMT -5 by ∂αмєη

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

pikasoccer

guest

Post by pikasoccer on Dec 15, 2010 0:12:23 GMT -5

#4867D6 Sammie’s Speech
#0E51A7 Another’s Speech
#00487D Writing
#015C65 Song Lyrics

I was blown away
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that

I stroke his hair. He shivers, and I know that if I can't feel my toes anymore, he probably can't feel the entirety of his body. He needs to get inside, and soon. He stirs again, and I can see his skin contract in pain again. His eyes open swiftly. And in their depths, I can see all the different layers of gray. The layers that I will never be able to completely erase from my mind. I cannot force myself to look at them any longer, afraid that his look of shock will soon turn to anger. Or maybe something worse, like malice.

When he looks at me, he clasps his hands over his ears, as if he were struggling with the distress of a loud sound. But there's no sound in this desolate forest except for the sounds of our breathing. That scares me; you can't even catch the intonation of a twig snapping or paws colliding with earth.

I try to see the good in life,
but good things in life are hard to find
We'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around

And that brings me back to the scene with the root. Again. No! Stop thinking about it, Sammie! I shake my head, as if to scatter all the thoughts from my head. I don't want to have the same mental battle that I had earlier. Besides, it seems like one of us is already dealing with that problem.

Suddenly, he speaks. "Sammie."

Let's start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
it's not over
'cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.

I start. I wasn't expecting him to say anything; actually, I was so absorbed with all the memories of this place, the absence of sound, that I had completely forgotten that we were both here. I turn back to him, but focus on somewhere on the middle of his forehead. Anywhere but his eyes. I can't bring myself to see a reflection of myself in them, physically and emotionally speaking.

He pushes himself to his feet, and grasps in his hand a rock in the process. It mirrors the somber, smoky color of Soren's eyes. And suddenly it scares me what he could do with that rock. To me.

"You abandoned me. You don't care for me anymore. I lost our daughter. I broke our love." and then he runs off, into the misty whiteness of the falling snow.

This love is killing me,
but you're the only one.
It's not over

I suck air as what he says hits me like a hand to the face. I lost our daughter... I broke our love... "No Soren, no!" I gasp. But he's already long gone, too far to hear it. I can't even see him anymore. All that's left of him are his footprints in the light blanket of snow that covers the ground.

I don't even realize that he dropped the rock.

I can't follow him. But I have to! You can't follow him. He'll think you're desperate. And I care why? We had a child together. You don't think that means anything? Not enough to go around trailing behind him like you're his shadow.

I kick his dropped stone in frustration. I decide to go after him, mind telling me not to or not. I have to follow my gut on this one.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out
don't get caught up in yourself
let it out

I trudge after him.

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Post by ∂αмєη on Dec 22, 2010 17:27:26 GMT -5

Soren Dragan Ryder
Just Try and Click Here

Soren's Writing : : : 555555
Soren's Speech : : : A4A4A4
Other Speech : : : E4E4E4
Voice Writing : : : 8B0000
Voice Speaking : : : 702A2A
Thoughts and Flashbacks in italics.
Speaking to the voices in bold.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You really are a wuss, you know that right? Like, seriously. You could've killed her, ended all this pain you keep feeling, but nooooooo. Love prevailed. Go have a tea party and gossip about boys you little girl. The voices went on and on, throwing insults about every single thing I did. I love her. I don't care, does she love you? Probably not. Who would love a little girl? I did once. I loved Evangelic Jensen. The battle inside my head was pointless. It got me no where. Just more pain. So I stayed. I waited for the girl that once had my heart.

The day was cold and rainy, typical for District 12. I was waiting by the gym doors for one person. Evangelic. Suck it up! She's dead you idiot. DEAD! She- A twig cracking grabs my attention. I whip my ~~hair back and forth~~ head around to face Sammie.

"Don't talk for a second. I need to talk to you. I need to explain what's happening with me. It's always about you. I don't care what you think. That was my daughter too! I saw her get stabbed! I saw her die! I saw the blood! I felt the pain! It's not only you fighting against this feeling of hatred for everything. I know you feel it, because I feel it too! Here I am, trying to deal with the fact that my sweet little daughter is gone. GONE! From this world, never to return again. And her mother, Sammie Park hates me. She fucking hates my guts, all because I let her daughter die too. My daughter! But I'm done fighting alone. Because I can't fight alone. Nobody can fight alone forever. So forget the fact that I could've stopped that man. Forget the fact that I couldn't save our daughter. Remember that I am on the same damn page as you. I love you Sammie, but not when you're like this. Not when you don't care that I can feel too."

There's complete silence. Nobody moves. He breaks it. Listen man. Your daughter, she could be out there. What the hell are you talking about?! You got stabbed, you could've seen anybody killed. Your daughter could still be out there pal. "And I don't care what you do now. There's a part of me that believes she's still out there. There's a part of me that can't ignore the fact that I never actually have proof that it was her in front of my eyes. And even if there's the smallest chance of finding her, I'll go for it. Goodbye Sammie Park. It was nice knowing you." I end in a shout. I want to just leave, to just turn away and end with a bang. But I can't. I take one step to fill the gap between us, pressing my lips against hers to have one last kiss. And then I'm gone, in the direction of god knows where to hopefully find my daughter. Hey, I thought the information was something worth knowing. Oh it was. The greatest thing to know.

END SOREN

Last Edit: Dec 22, 2010 19:13:08 GMT -5 by ∂αмєη

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

pikasoccer

guest

Post by pikasoccer on Dec 22, 2010 21:22:43 GMT -5

#4867D6 Sammie’s Speech
#0E51A7 Another’s Speech
#00487D Writing
#015C65 Song Lyrics

And if I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

He turns to me suddenly after I've followed him for a few minutes, apparently hearing the weight of my feet against the ground. I quickly look away, finding another thing to fix my gaze upon: a rock, right next to his bare feet. Anywhere but his eyes are fine with me. I open my mouth to say something to him, eyes still fixed upon the rock, when he beats me to the chase.

"Don't talk for a second. I need to talk to you. I need to explain what's happening with me. It's always about you. I don't..."

The rest of his words don't matter anymore. Nothing her ever says is going to matter. It's always about you... He thinks it's always about me. Is that what he thinks? That the whole world revolves around me, Sammie Park? If his idea of it all being about me is getting constantly gossiped about by the whole District, being all anyone talks about anymore, then yes, the whole world revolves beneath my feet. If that's how he wants to think of it, then so be it. I'll show him how 'it's always about me.'

And then I'm rocketed back to life with his following words.

"And I don't care what you do now. There's a part of me that believes she's still out there. There's a part of me that can't ignore the fact that I never actually have proof that it was her in front of my eyes. And even if there's the smallest chance of finding her, I'll go for it. Goodbye Sammie Park. It was nice knowing you."

Believes she's still out there? Who is he talking about? Eva? But he knows she's dead. He saw her die. Goodbye Sammie Park. It was nice knowing you... I choke on my breath as his last words swarm around my mind, clouding up and forcing away any other thought that had previously occupied my mind. He was saying goodbye? He felt like he needed to leave me behind, in order to go find my daughter? The one that I carried for nine months, the one that I brought into this world, the one that I love more than life itself?And he thinks that he can just walk away from me to find her, without me?

What a messed up mind he must have.

He quickly fills the distance between our aching hearts and presses his lips to mine, in one last expression of his love to me. It's filled with an overpowering amount of sadness, loneliness, and hunger. But it also contains traces of our past: love, wholeness, and a sense of nirvana make up for the dark sections of that kiss.

And after he breaks away, I know that I can't ever bear to let that go.

"Soren Ryder, I'm coming with you. Whatever it takes to get my... our daughter back, I'll do it. I'd go to all ends of the world for Eva." And for you...

I sigh, muster up all the courage I can, and give him the most insisting look I can.

You call me strong, you call me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down

You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground