You Have No Hope {[Rosetta & Shrimp]}~
Nov 16, 2010 21:02:55 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Howling on Nov 16, 2010 21:02:55 GMT -5
You have no hope...
Traditional fishing. A pole, a reel, and fishing wire. Boy, how I love fishing like this...The thrill of fighting a fish one on one. Sure, sometimes it's easy as hell, but sometimes a monster decides to take the bait, such as the one I'm holding down with my knee right now.
Stupid fish. Why can't you and your kind get it through your brainless head to leave the floating, dead fish in the water alone? You have no hope...
I wrap the wire around my hand. Memories of my dead father flow through my mind. I can see his face. The anger and the rage just coming alive as he screams at my mother, as he pours his addiction over my head and lights the match. All I can see is my helpless little self lying there, not able to defend myself from the tragedy to come.
I close my eyes and shake the memories from my mind. I open my eyes again, and I grip the wire.
RIP!
The large hook comes flying out of the mouth of the now deceased fish, along with some of its insides. A small feeling of satisfaction takes me over, and I fall on my back as I toss the fish back into its watery grave.
I lift my hand to my face as my own blood crawls down my hand and onto my arm. Fishing doesn't seem that appealing anymore. Not right now at least. I need something to do. Someone to torture. Something to kill. I run my bloody hand across my head, smearing it and letting it stain.
You have no hope.
Why can't those damn words just leave me alone? I know there's no hope. That's all I've been told since the day I entered the community home. I can't blame them. What else is someone going to say to a bald headed burn victim with a deformed arm? I'm sure it would be my natural reaction to treat him as an outcast. That's just the way people are.
I sit up and stare at the water. I wish human life could be like fishing. I just want to bait them in, fight with them, and then rip a hook out their throat. I want THEIR blood on my hand, dripping from my elbows. I want to smear THEIR blood across my head. I just want...
"Why don't you try putting an effort into opening up to some people, Tristian? I promise you, you will find some people who won't dislike you just because you look different.
Simple words. Typical request. Same reaction. They aren't worth my time. I somehow understand that Lydia only cares, but I don't. It doesn't matter to me anymore. All that matters to me is living and dying. I want to live. I want them to die.
Lydia would be so upset if I were to commit a murder, and she would blame herself. I wish she didn't care so much. It would make everything so easier. In some way, I've always admired her for not neglecting me, and yet I wish I would have been left to die, or better yet been raised by an abusive caretaker. Everything would be so easy. Everything would be so...
I stop thinking, and I get up and begin to walk under the boardwalk. I love it down here. It's dark. Secluded. A perfect place to die, or kill. It could be quick. A simple cut across the neck would suffice. No one would ever know.
As I walk, a few people walk by, enjoying themselves. Morning is a nice time to walk under the boardwalk, and many couples do. Love. Such a fake and twisted thing. There is no such thing as love. All I can do as I walk is think.
I have no hope.
Traditional fishing. A pole, a reel, and fishing wire. Boy, how I love fishing like this...The thrill of fighting a fish one on one. Sure, sometimes it's easy as hell, but sometimes a monster decides to take the bait, such as the one I'm holding down with my knee right now.
Stupid fish. Why can't you and your kind get it through your brainless head to leave the floating, dead fish in the water alone? You have no hope...
I wrap the wire around my hand. Memories of my dead father flow through my mind. I can see his face. The anger and the rage just coming alive as he screams at my mother, as he pours his addiction over my head and lights the match. All I can see is my helpless little self lying there, not able to defend myself from the tragedy to come.
I close my eyes and shake the memories from my mind. I open my eyes again, and I grip the wire.
RIP!
The large hook comes flying out of the mouth of the now deceased fish, along with some of its insides. A small feeling of satisfaction takes me over, and I fall on my back as I toss the fish back into its watery grave.
I lift my hand to my face as my own blood crawls down my hand and onto my arm. Fishing doesn't seem that appealing anymore. Not right now at least. I need something to do. Someone to torture. Something to kill. I run my bloody hand across my head, smearing it and letting it stain.
You have no hope.
Why can't those damn words just leave me alone? I know there's no hope. That's all I've been told since the day I entered the community home. I can't blame them. What else is someone going to say to a bald headed burn victim with a deformed arm? I'm sure it would be my natural reaction to treat him as an outcast. That's just the way people are.
I sit up and stare at the water. I wish human life could be like fishing. I just want to bait them in, fight with them, and then rip a hook out their throat. I want THEIR blood on my hand, dripping from my elbows. I want to smear THEIR blood across my head. I just want...
"Why don't you try putting an effort into opening up to some people, Tristian? I promise you, you will find some people who won't dislike you just because you look different.
Simple words. Typical request. Same reaction. They aren't worth my time. I somehow understand that Lydia only cares, but I don't. It doesn't matter to me anymore. All that matters to me is living and dying. I want to live. I want them to die.
Lydia would be so upset if I were to commit a murder, and she would blame herself. I wish she didn't care so much. It would make everything so easier. In some way, I've always admired her for not neglecting me, and yet I wish I would have been left to die, or better yet been raised by an abusive caretaker. Everything would be so easy. Everything would be so...
I stop thinking, and I get up and begin to walk under the boardwalk. I love it down here. It's dark. Secluded. A perfect place to die, or kill. It could be quick. A simple cut across the neck would suffice. No one would ever know.
As I walk, a few people walk by, enjoying themselves. Morning is a nice time to walk under the boardwalk, and many couples do. Love. Such a fake and twisted thing. There is no such thing as love. All I can do as I walk is think.
I have no hope.