Bowen Lakewod district 4

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allyisawesome
Seam Resident

2 POSTS
last seen May 16, 2011 13:38:58 GMT -5

Bowen Lakewod district 4 Apr 14, 2011 11:10:33 GMT -5

Post by allyisawesome on Apr 14, 2011 11:10:33 GMT -5

Name: Bowen Lakewood
Age: 17
Gender: Male
District/Area: District 4
Appearance:

Bowen is very handsome with icey blue eyes and bronze hair that baraly goes past his ears. He is strong and 5 feet and 11 inchs tall, and his skin has a light
tan. He weighs 137 pounds, compared to people around him he is handsome and fit.
He has a scare on his calf from being attacked by a shark when he was 9 years old. The scare is a bite mark that is 3 and a half inches long.

Personality:

Bowen is a very smart boy but also very agresive. He do not have many friends, but the ones he has find him funny, myserious, friendly, very skilled, agresive, and very competitive. He has to take care of his family because his dad died from a flood they had 7 years ago.

His skills are swimming, throwing spears, shooting a bow and arrow, hand on hand combat, he can also run very fast. he can identifie fish and can also use comoflase with any matieral.

History:

When Bowen was born the district was in the middle of a flood. His house was washed away but he survived, because his dad jumped infront of a falling wall and pushed Bowen out of the way for Bowen's dad to be crushed. Bowen's mother saved him pulling him out of the water to saftey.
Bowen is the oldest of his sibblings he has two sisters and one brother. hHe would of had two brothers but one drowned in the water when he fell in.
Beacase of his fathers death he mainly takes care of his family

Codeword: odair
Comments/Other:

not done still fixing

Last Edit: Apr 19, 2011 17:37:03 GMT -5 by allyisawesome

gxk
Retired Staff

[M:-3145]

1,181 POSTS
last seen Oct 28, 2012 17:49:11 GMT -5

When in doubt flail it out

Bowen Lakewod district 4 Apr 16, 2011 14:35:32 GMT -5

Post by gxk on Apr 16, 2011 14:35:32 GMT -5

Hey there!

First of all we have a paragraph requirement of 2 for appearance, and 3 for personality and history. Right now you have not met that requirement. Also, please use paragraph breaks, it makes it easier on the eyes.

~~~~~

So basically the issue I'm having right now is that this bio is just way to skimpy. I really have no idea who your character is as a person, and what their life has been life. It really just kind of leaves me hanging,

I would love for you to add a good bit more to each section and really focus in on important details and information that make you're character unique. What makes your character different from others? What has their life really been like?

~~~~~

Appearance:
Flaws! Nobody is perfect, your character needs flaws. Scars don't count unless they are especially grotesque or somehow take away from the appearance of the character.

Go from head to toe and tell me about each little detail of your character, I want to be able to have a clear picture of them in my mind.

Make it realistic. A shark bite would leave waaayyy more damaged than a 3.5in long scar. Dog bites can leave bigger scars than that. Sharks can take chunks out of people, or bite whole limbs off, if the person isn't killed first.

Personality:
He's smart and aggressive. That's the only personality you've given, the rest is random facts that would need to be blended into the history.

People have very complex emotions and personalities. Tell me about all the traits that make Bowen, Bowen.

Keep it real and include both positive and negative traits.

History:
4 sentences for history just won't cut it. This needs to be paragraphs of life story.

Begin from as young as possible and tell about Bowen's life up to the present.

Include important experiences and how they effected and influence him.

~~~~~

Post here when you have made the needed changes. ^^