All I Ever Wanted (Day 2 Dustin vs. Lizard)
Jul 19, 2011 16:44:20 GMT -5
Post by jimmylost on Jul 19, 2011 16:44:20 GMT -5
I had run, I didn't know where or why just kept moving. When my lungs began to burn I turned at a right angle so that my back was to the cornicopia. My feet kept moving. So does my mind, for once. I play the day through my head. Dawn; in the bloodbath getting nothing more then a weapon and a satchel and gaining more then enough injury for my trouble. High noon; getting attacked and running from my only ally. Dusk; getting to this place just in time to look to the sky and get a proper account of the day.
Jaimie's face looks back at me from the sky and my feet finally find their moment to quit. Well isn't that just great, just what I wanted. Now all that's left is to find my own demise. Enough failure and betrayal now I can finally get out of here with what little of myself I have left. Dawns breaking again now, so am I. What does it even matter?
“You're coming back”
Shut up.
I had sat in that dark little room after the Reaping. I let myself think I could feel Ashes getting closer and closer and at any moment the door would open to reveal her. As time stretched on I began to fear that her outburst earlier might have got her into trouble. What punishment might that peacekeeper have given a twelve year old girl? I began to shake at the thought.
Just when I began to fear the worst the door opened and there she was. She was completely guarded no movements toward silent communication just her eyes stabbing into mine. “You're coming back” she said simply “I don't want you giving up on me because I'm telling you right now you're coming back”
“Ashes you know-” I start but she interrupts me with a step forward.
“No. I do know, I know things in this district catch fire far too easily. Buildings, objects, people, you and me. You're coming back or I'll be all the more attached to the name you gave me. Me and this entire wretched District.”
Ashes always knew me too well. Knew just the thing that would force me not to back down, to try and win even if it cost me my humanity because she had just put her own life on the line. It was as easy as an admittance of all I had ever suspected of her and now she held it against me. She would. That was the simple fact the certainty of the fact reflected in both our eyes. She'd die if I did because there really was no Ashes or Dustin, it was Ashes and Dustin nothing as vast as death was going to span the distance between us.
I didn't want that, I wanted Ashes to live.
“Then you better make it home” she said reading me again.
I felt my choices closing off around me. I couldn't let Ashes do what she planed, I couldn't keep the capitol from taking me away. I'd have to fight using their rules. I'd have to come home. Ashes had left me with no room for failure, I could almost hate her for doing this to me. I could never hate her. Certain that her point had been made she left with her head held high.
It was later that I came to my realization about my life bringing her danger. She probably knew this before I did, she always did. So she had made that crazy threat because she thought it left me no choice. “Well why the hell should I have to live through all of this for you? It's scary, and bloody, and terrible and f*cking hot!” I feel gettting to my feet again “What am I supposed to do I can't live for you, I can't die for you. Why did you ask this of me Ashes” I look up to the sky now shouting into the camera's I hope are catching all of this so she can hear me “You ask the impossible, you know that?”
I bring my hand to my my neck and tear off my district token. I want to just throw it to the ground but I can feel a tiny little pull in the center of my chest, right under my my heart. “You bitch” I mumble shoving the bow tie into the very bottom corner of my satchel. I know she'll be able to read the action, it says more then my words. I haven't given up yet, or more accurately she's still got me. I can almost hear her telling me that once I get back everything will be fine, telling me we'll find a way to keep each other safe from all this danger. What she means is that she'll find a way to burn all our troubles away, just like she always has. Well you can't burn the capitol down, can't just wash the games away.
“Ever think that maybe what you want isn't what I want.” Of course she hasn't, because we've never been this far in opposition. Can we even be fighting against each other when she isn't even here? Well it surprises me more that we're disagreeing then that fact that we can. The former always seemed much more likely then the latter. “I don't... I want what I want”
And what is that?
It then that I see the eyes staring at me through the blades of grass. “Do you know monster?” I say half-crazed to the eyes. They don't answer just keep staring and staring. I pull my whip from my belt.
Attacks pitfall lizard.
Whip: [dice=200+6000]
(Deep Gash on Cheek 8.5 )
“Hey monster! I asked you a question!” I shout at the thing in front of me.[rand=29740653511882857918327781702437514438447961850762016642875144]
Jaimie's face looks back at me from the sky and my feet finally find their moment to quit. Well isn't that just great, just what I wanted. Now all that's left is to find my own demise. Enough failure and betrayal now I can finally get out of here with what little of myself I have left. Dawns breaking again now, so am I. What does it even matter?
“You're coming back”
Shut up.
I had sat in that dark little room after the Reaping. I let myself think I could feel Ashes getting closer and closer and at any moment the door would open to reveal her. As time stretched on I began to fear that her outburst earlier might have got her into trouble. What punishment might that peacekeeper have given a twelve year old girl? I began to shake at the thought.
Just when I began to fear the worst the door opened and there she was. She was completely guarded no movements toward silent communication just her eyes stabbing into mine. “You're coming back” she said simply “I don't want you giving up on me because I'm telling you right now you're coming back”
“Ashes you know-” I start but she interrupts me with a step forward.
“No. I do know, I know things in this district catch fire far too easily. Buildings, objects, people, you and me. You're coming back or I'll be all the more attached to the name you gave me. Me and this entire wretched District.”
Ashes always knew me too well. Knew just the thing that would force me not to back down, to try and win even if it cost me my humanity because she had just put her own life on the line. It was as easy as an admittance of all I had ever suspected of her and now she held it against me. She would. That was the simple fact the certainty of the fact reflected in both our eyes. She'd die if I did because there really was no Ashes or Dustin, it was Ashes and Dustin nothing as vast as death was going to span the distance between us.
I didn't want that, I wanted Ashes to live.
“Then you better make it home” she said reading me again.
I felt my choices closing off around me. I couldn't let Ashes do what she planed, I couldn't keep the capitol from taking me away. I'd have to fight using their rules. I'd have to come home. Ashes had left me with no room for failure, I could almost hate her for doing this to me. I could never hate her. Certain that her point had been made she left with her head held high.
It was later that I came to my realization about my life bringing her danger. She probably knew this before I did, she always did. So she had made that crazy threat because she thought it left me no choice. “Well why the hell should I have to live through all of this for you? It's scary, and bloody, and terrible and f*cking hot!” I feel gettting to my feet again “What am I supposed to do I can't live for you, I can't die for you. Why did you ask this of me Ashes” I look up to the sky now shouting into the camera's I hope are catching all of this so she can hear me “You ask the impossible, you know that?”
I bring my hand to my my neck and tear off my district token. I want to just throw it to the ground but I can feel a tiny little pull in the center of my chest, right under my my heart. “You bitch” I mumble shoving the bow tie into the very bottom corner of my satchel. I know she'll be able to read the action, it says more then my words. I haven't given up yet, or more accurately she's still got me. I can almost hear her telling me that once I get back everything will be fine, telling me we'll find a way to keep each other safe from all this danger. What she means is that she'll find a way to burn all our troubles away, just like she always has. Well you can't burn the capitol down, can't just wash the games away.
“Ever think that maybe what you want isn't what I want.” Of course she hasn't, because we've never been this far in opposition. Can we even be fighting against each other when she isn't even here? Well it surprises me more that we're disagreeing then that fact that we can. The former always seemed much more likely then the latter. “I don't... I want what I want”
And what is that?
It then that I see the eyes staring at me through the blades of grass. “Do you know monster?” I say half-crazed to the eyes. They don't answer just keep staring and staring. I pull my whip from my belt.
Attacks pitfall lizard.
Whip: [dice=200+6000]
(Deep Gash on Cheek 8.5 )
“Hey monster! I asked you a question!” I shout at the thing in front of me.[rand=29740653511882857918327781702437514438447961850762016642875144]