Rubiya Clarke~ D6 DONE

Usually, when I walk down the street, people, usually men or lesbians, will walk up to me and try to flirt with me. I'm 5'8 and look like I'm seventeen, eighteen is what a few have said. They can't believe that a girl as tall, sexy, and developed in rebellious personality is only fourteen, yet I am. I'm quite proud of it, no matter what they say. My deep, yet fiery red hair that falls down my back in waves. My bright, pale and piercing blue eyes, how many say they seem to entrance them. My Mother, no matter how goody two shoes she is, tells me I look like my Father. The asshole got himself killed before I really even got to know him. I despise the man who fathered me. To me, he seems nothing but gutless, afraid to accept his duties as a father and a man. A true man who needed to bring in money for his family. He was a coward.

Considering how developed my body appears to be, there has to be some factors that I've done myself. Not really, actually. All I can say is I hit puberty at an early age. I was walking around, way taller than everyone else, wearing bras, and all that good shit before most of them even knew what puberty was. It was strange, watching my body change like that. Only, I like it now. I like it how I seem to tower over every other kid in my district around my age, how seventeen and eighteen year old teenagers hit on me, convinced I've got to be their age. It's nice.

My face is generally round in and average shape, yet takes a slant when it gets a little bit past my cheek bones, which are high and jut out from under my pale white skin. My nose has a semi large bridge, but is actually quite small. Compared to everything else on my face besides my undersized eyes, my nose is the smallest feature on my face. In truth, I'd rather have a tiny nose than one that juts out like a donkey ass out over my face. My lips are semi full, and just a dull, natural color. I never bother with makeup, except for a few dark rings around my eyes.

My hair runs down to about my upper middle back. The deep reddish chestnut shade of my hair flows in long red waves, in some spots is slightly curled. I've always taken great pride in my hair, and I'm not discouraged to admit I obsess over my appearance a little. I comb it every single day. I don't want people to start thinking I'm a damn fourteen year old, because mentally, and psychically, I'm not.

I'm about the average weight. Normal curves. You can say I have an average body, for a seventeen or eighteen year old. My legs are long, pale skin, trying to pull off being sexy. I thought it would all work out until one day, Emeralda, my Mother, took me to the doctor's. She, for some reason, was concerned about my health. The doctor looked me over and discovered that very slowly, my spine, for some reason, was coming out of place. He predicted that by the time I'm twenty five or so, I will barley be able to walk. it was a harsh blow. I never thought I'd end up being some useless cripple. I hadn't even felt back pain, yet he was able to detect the slightest malformation in my spine position. Now, with each passing year, the pain will increase just a tiny bit. My joints, which used to flow healthy like a newborn baby's, are now stiff. My knees constantly lock up, same with my elbows. it's miserable, and I don't want to die like this.

Even ask Emeralda, I am a fucking rebel. I used to be the silent kid at school, always doing her work, and outsmarting everyone in the class. Oh, how were they wrong. I am smarter than the average kid my age, just like I look to be way older than I actually am. Before Emeralda lost control and failed to support us, I was a goody two shoes, just like her. And now as I look back, it's disgusting what I did. Why? So, slowly, as she started worrying more about how she was going to support us more than actually care for me, I went wild.

I liked being a rebel. It felt good, I felt good to know that people treated my name like a curse word. never listening. instead of doing my work like I used to, I didn't do it all. I vandalized it. I disrespected my teachers, didn't follow rules, and all the while, I was biting my lip trying to hold back a devilish grin. Emeralda is ashamed of me. I am proud. I crave to make her feel ashamed of me. She should have tried harder to make me better.

Since many a time I've been mistaken for someone way older than I actually am, there's no doubt about it that I've had a few sexual encounters in my life. This really, really pisses Emeralda off. She's afraid I'm going to get knocked up. I usually don't turn down guys when they try to flirt if they look good, but I always turn down the lesbians. I'm heterosexual, or for you dumb douche bags out there, it means I'm straight as a railroad track in the prairie. Being a little rebel slut really, really disgusts Emeralda. I get pleasure out of the fact that she isn't happy with me. I love it.

I love making people ashamed. After Emeralda started acting like she was more worried about supporting us than actually caring for me, I went out of my way to act on every act I knew how to do that would piss people off. When I started getting those terrible, spiteful glances, I started feeling this lust for people's disappointment in me. It was so disgusting how goody two shoes I had been before. Being the smart little nerdy girl who always did her work. Always tried hard. Bull shit! That Rubiya died a long time ago. She's been replaced by a wicked soul, possible even the spawn of the devil, which I am. My father is a coward. I hate him. I personally go out of my way to kick his grave every year on the anniversary of his death- even though I hate how Emeralda is trying to bring back the smart, goody two shoes Rubiya I was before, but I hated even more how my douche bag of a Dad just upped and killed himself with a bottle. Emeralda wants the old, disgusting me back. She doesn't want the smart, slutty, rebellious girl that's replaced her precious little angel. And that precious little angel is never coming back.

I was born to a young couple named Emeralda and Rigel Clarke. They had gotten married the year I was born, and found out as a little wedding gift that Emeralda was pregnant. We lived happy for a while. Living in a decent home, always having a decent amount of food on our table (for our district, that was) life wasn't that bad, even though I was a little girl at the time and really can't remember much of those days anymore. Not that I want to. That was when I was a fucking goody two shoes. No way in hell am I ever, EVER going back to.

When I was five, Emeralda and Rigel got into a fight. They had been fighting for a while when Rigel stormed out. he went to the bar where they first met, and drank himself to death. We're still not sure if he did it knowingly, or was just to drunk to know he was killing himself. Personally, I don't care if he meant to end his life or not. He left Emeralda and I all alone, and for that I shall never forgive him. I don't even look at that douche as a father. He was just, simply, my "sperm donor." I hate him. I don't hate Emeralda, but I don't love her. maybe I just don't hate her because she's what's keeping me alive, so to speak.

Shortly after that I became a rebel. It just started with simple acts, like back talking the teachers, refusing to do my work, vulgar vandalism, tiny little acts of rebellion like that. Then it escalated into fights at school, which I usually won. Once Emeralda finally found out about what was happening, she was aghast. She never looked at me the same way again. Our relationship went downhill from there as my behavior got worse.

I didn't become really a slut until this year. That was when I started accepting them, the good looking guys, and not turning every single one of the flirting boys, and lesbian girls, down. I still turn down all of the lesbians. As before, I'm heterosexual. I didn't really hook up with the good looking guys that often. The first one I ever really did get intimate with was a guy I actually liked. I was afraid he didn't like me, but it turns out he did. I was overjoyed, and it went from there.

[I call my Mother Emeralda and my douche bag father Rigel, or by their names, because I have no respect for Rigel and little for Emeralda. In my eyes, Emeralda almost deserves the title "Mother", but not quite. Rigel, the coward that he was, doesn't deserve anything but cuss words, in my mind, or belittling words.

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Other's Speech- FF0066
Song Lyrics- FFCC66