A step back~A leap forward.

No more tears, no more pain,
No more crying in the rain.
<><><><><><><><><><>

My feet pound against the hard pavement as I race home, angry tears streaming down my face. The clouds above me are black, and there is no doubt that they will be releasing their burden of rain very soon. My shadow races next to be, although it is very faint and the edges are blurred. There aren't many people outside- school ended a while ago, and people hurried home so they wouldn't be caught in the storm. I can't help but remember all of the times Imi and I would come home soaking wet because we would stay at school talking for such a long time. But those days are gone. Imi is probably home already, and while I did wait back at school for someone, we weren't talking. We were fighting.

Sometimes I'm unsure about Sarah. There are days when we're so close, it's like she's my twin, not Imi (a horrible thing to think, but it's true). We'll laugh together and remember inside jokes and share gossip. But then there are other days... days when we're not so close. Days when she spreads rumors about me and I talk to other people about how horrible her clothes look. Days when we're so angry at each other, the whole school knows about it. Most of the time, I don't even know what I'm fuming over. I'm just... mad at her. Really mad at her. That never happened to Imi and me- out arguements always smoothed out quickly and easily, and we learned to avoid what sparked the fight. But with Sarah, it's like we're fighting over and over and over again about the exact same things. And then we end up smiling and laughing with each other the next day, only our smiles are forced, and our laughs tense. It takes a longer time for us to get back to normal.

I run my hand roughly over my eyes, wiping the tears away, not wanting Imi to see me like this. It is, of course, a vain attempt. Even if my eyes weren't red and puffy, or my breathing heavy, or my muscels tense, she'd know. She always knows. When I crash through the door, though, I find that she's not there. For a moment, I am confused. I look around the living room, and then into the kitchen, biting my bottom lip and turning away when I see the dusty old chair in the corner. The walls of the hallway are decorated with many pictures of Imi, me, and our parents. There used to be pictures of him on the walls, too, but now there are only holes from the nails that held up the frames. I find the door to our bedroom is closed. I hesitate, bringing up my hand to knock. No. She wouldn't understand. I swing away, crossing my arms over my chest. I'm angry and tired and I have to get away from this place that has too many empty memories.

I glance out the large window in the hall, the only break in the cramped space. The clouds are dark, and I can see the first few drops streaming like tiny tears down the smooth glass. There isn't any thunder or lightning, though. Just rain. And so, not even bothering to grab a coat off of the hanger by the wall, I scribble a note to our parents and push open the door. Before I leave the porch, though, I yank off my shoes and socks and lay them where they'll remain dry. The mud feels so good as my toes dig into it, and I sigh in relief, letting the rain soak through my clothes and glide down my skin. For a moment, I stay posed in front of our house, my head tilted back slightly, silky hair slipping back over my shoulders. I then turn to glance back at my house, frowning at the chipping white paint that reveals an ugly brown color underneath.

I then turn my back on the ancient scars, squeezing my eyes shut and racing away toward the woods. They've always been a place where I can heal when things become to much. The trees keep secrets better than anyone else, and the wind whispers quiet, comforting words that only I can hear. This place has glimpsed the red hot chaos inside of me, and can see right past my bright, happy smile. I follow a secret path, crawling through bushes and weaving around trees until I've reached the edge of a racing river. The water is especially wild and loud in the rain, which is now pouring down and soaking me to the bone. My eyes are wide and bright as I smile, beginning to race down along the side of the leaping water like I'm a child playing pretend again. My heart is soaring, because I'm wild and happy and free, leaping and shouting and smiling like I am a creature of these woods. My hair whips around behind me, soaking wet, and my clothes are stained with mud. And I've finally forgotten about the fight with Sarah.

It happens too quickly for me to stop. The ground beneath my foot breaks away, sending me tumbling down toward the churning river. My hands fly out, trying to grip the ground, but everything is so slippery and wet, I can't do anything to stop myself. And then there is water all around me. It burns my eyes and fills my ears and nose and mouth and I'm swallowing it and choking on it. And I can't breath. Why can't I breath? I'm being whipped around and my clothes are pressing against my skin and I feel the current pushing me and pulling me apart. There is a moment of pure panic, when my heart is pounding and all I know is fear. And then something slams into my head and I'm seeing bright bright black fireworks. Everything fades and then I emptiness swallows me as I slip into unconsciousness.

No more tears, no more pain,
No more crying in the rain.
<><><><><><><><><><>

The darkness isn't empty.

I swim through a sea of thick blackness. I can't breath, but for some reason, that's okay. I can't feel anything. It's as if I'm hovering right in the middle of nothingness. I can't see, or feel, or taste, or smell. But I do hear something. At first, I thought it was a ghost wind passing through this deserted, empty place. A wind I couldn't feel or taste or smell, but a wind that was somehow there. But that couldn't be right. It sounded more like many winds, moving something. I remember hearing something like this sound when I walked through the woods on hot summer days, with the sun beating down on my black hair and burning my pale skin, and the gentle fingers of a soft breeze would move the plentiful green leaves above my head. It sounds similar to that, but there are no leaves, and I have concluded there is no wind, either. And then I hear it. A word caught in the middle of the mysterious noise. The word 'along'. I frown, closing my eyes and trying hard to hear another word. And I do find another word. 'Together'. And then another. 'Gentle'. And another. 'Belong'. And then there are hundreds of words, and I finally place the sound. Whispering. It sounds like thousands of children are whispering all around me.

The noise is gentle and delicate, and so quiet that it is almost nonexistent. It's a pretty sound. If I focus, I can hear more than just words. I can hear nursery rhymes and conversations about playing pretend. Perhaps, if I was conscious, I would be scared by this sound. But instead, I find that my heart is filled by it. The whispers that swirl around me are happy, almost excited. They whisper of far away worlds and beautiful forests. They mention beautiful princesses and brave princes, and remember poems their parents told them. Some I recognize from before Luke left. Our mother would sit us down, my father would pull out the guitar (yes, there was a time when music filled our house), and we would sing happy little rhymes that didn't make sense. Now, however, the those tunes have become ghosts that linger in the back of our minds, haunting melodies that only come out at night when we are too tired to remember that we are forbidden to recall those happy times, and the songs fill our dreams with happiness that will never stick.

Without really realizing it, I join them in a pretty lullaby that my mother's mother made up and sang to her when she couldn't fall asleep. When we were little, my mother thought that it could keep the nightmares away. I don't think she really understood that pretty lyrics and a happy song could make the endless terror go away, but it was a sweet that she tried. The melody is higher pitched and very pretty, always putting me and Imi to sleep almost instantly (although that only made the nightmares come quicker). It was a song that was lost in the many memories that we abandoned the day he left, and remembering it brings pain as well as happiness.

Sleep, sleep, sleep peacefully.
You are here with me.
Dream, dream, dream happily.
You are here with me.

I repeat it over and over again, very content. A small smile appears on my face, and it suddenly doesn't matter if I can't see or feel or taste or smell. I can hear, and that's all I'll ever need. But then, out of nowhere, there is crying. It's louder than the rest, and I frown, my song stopping suddenly as I spin around in the darkness and try to locate the sound. The wails get louder, and I feel that I should recognize the sound. I tilt my head to the side, listening, and suddenly, a flood of memories hits me. Suddenly, I'm not in darkness, but flying through images of our bedroom at night, with moonlight lighting up the hallway. Different nightmares, different monsters, but always the same crying as I make my way over to her bed and shake her shoulder to wake her. Always the same wails. And then there is me and Imi, sitting in front of a tree. A flickering light. An empty chair. An old guitar. A charm bracelet. Imi's terrified face as her eyes burst open after a particularly bad dream. A moonlight hallway. My feet pounding on the ground as I race home from school with tears streaming down my face. The woods as I run through them, rain pouring down. Tripping. Falling. Water. Too much water.

And then my eyes fly open and I'm staring up at Imi's tear stained face.

For a moment, I am totally still, confused and tired and very wet. Then, pain shoots through my head, and I hiss in pain, cringing and jerking my head up as I grip the large bump on the back of my head. My hand comes back, the water mixing with warm red liquid. I'm not too concerned about the bleeding, though. My entire body seems to ache, and my throat feels very raw, as if I've been coughing a lot. But I'm alive, and that's all that really matters at the moment, right? Imi's face shows shock, as if she never expected me to open my eyes again, and then she is pulling at me, trying to get me to sit up. I let out a howl of pain as I see bright red and black stars in my eyes, but help her by using my arms to steady myself as she pushes me into a sitting position. My hair is a matted mess, with twigs woven in a dirt particles texturizing the smooth strands.

For a few moments, there is only silence as I breath heavy, trying to piece everything together. I fell into the river. There was a lot of water. I could hear whispers as I was unconscious. And now... I'm here? My eyes widen as I realize the truth. "You just saved my life, didn't you?"

Though it seems a lifetime
since the day you went away,
I still can't stand to hear your name.
<><><><><><><><><><>

I flinch at every comment she throws at me, because she's tossing daggers into my heart without even trying to. The way she puts it, it's like this is all my fault. Which it's not, because I saved us both by shutting myself down. When Luke left, I shattered, like a mirror someone had just tossed a huge stone at. The pieces rained down, and all I had to piece them back together with was a single silver thread, so weak that it threatened to snap at any second, and then the chaos inside me would break loose. I did what I had to do to make it stronger and build myself up tall once more, and none of that was easy. Abandoning my twin? Letting go of Luke? I was leaving an entire childhood behind, forbidding myself from remembering the happy times when sunshine warmed my heart and love filled my very being in order to keep my sanity. She's surfacing memories that aren't allowed to come back, cutting open scars that supposedly healed a very long time ago.

The hardest part was thinking He's gonna come back, he's gonna come back and then having to move on when he didn't. I love Luke to death, but I still can't forgive him for what he did to us- for what he did to me. And was it even worth it? No. No one knows it, but I never stopped looking for him. I've looked in every shop, every factory, and even the very few dull offices for any sign of my brother only to find nothing again and again. It means he doesn't have a new job- he's living on the streets. He broke my heart a thousand times, tore our family in half, killed all of the old happiness in our house, and what for? For a life in a box. And the worst part is, he did all of those things- caused Imi and my family so much pain- and while I know I shouldn't, I hate him for it. And then it's even harder, because at the same time, I still love him. Even after all these years, I still turn toward the wall by my bed and cry silent tears every night because I still miss him with all the pieces of my heart.

How can she blame me for turning cold? For ignoring her? I had to do it. I had to... I just couldn't love someone like that again. It hurt too much to hope, and it hurt too much to care, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I did what it took to keep from drowning in my own sorrow, just like her. And it wasn't even my fault- he was the one that left. He was the one that forced me to change. It's not even my fault that she feels so lost. She has to just learn to get and move on like I did. Life's all about rising up and falling, and it's not my problem if she can't take the pain when she hits the ground. It hurts that she thinks that this is my fault, though. Even if she isn't thinking that directly, she's acting as if this all happened because I turned away from her.

"Stop it," I try to say, but no noise comes out of my throat. I don't even think she notices- she's too caught up in what she's saying. Every word is like a thorn, and my eyes widen in pain. "Stop it," I try again, but it's as quiet as a distant breeze, and she doesn't hear me. I feel my pain convert to anger, and fire rushes forward, giving me strength as she turns even though I almost drowned. I struggle to sit up properly, and my chest aches as I gasp for breath. It's not fair. It's not fair that I can live this horrible live that's cloaked in memories that I want to forget and haunted by a person that I can't find while other people's worst problems are that they can't pass math, or something totally meaningless like that. They don't know what it means to lose someone they love and know that they're out there, and if they only looked harder, they could find them.

I've looked. I've looked so hard and so much and the heartbreak hurts which is why I smile. I smile and push it all away because it's easiest to just forget it for a while and let the problems fix themselves. Eventually, it'll be okay, right? But these hopes aren't even real- they taunt me because I know things will never go back to the way they were. Luke isn't coming back, and Imi and I aren't going to go back to being the same girls we once were- it's impossible. If I could turn back time and stop him that night he left, I would. But instead, I slept as he placed the charm bracelet next to along with the note, just as he did for Imi. Back then, I felt like an individual with a best friend for life. I can't help but remember all the times I wandered into the hallway in the middle of the night, two tiny moons reflected in my hazel eyes as I looked out the window and hoped that I'd spot him wandering among the trees. I never did.

My voice is hoarse, and the delicate tissue in my throat stings as I speak. "You aren't the only person he left behind, Imi."

Now I know the time is gone, I'm holding on too long.
You were the sunlight in my day.
You saw the storm clouds rising when I still had my dream.
It's been so dark since your away.
<><><><><><><><><><>

My heart just about stops when I hear her say that, because it's not right. Her mind's overwhelmed right now, and she doesn't really feel that way... does she? I mean, she couldn't. I've felt the same amount of pain as she has, but I've never had those kind of dangerous thoughts. When pain hits, I just have to hold in my emotions and put one foot in front of the other, or I'll never escape the sea of tears that everyone falls into at one point or another. For a moment, fear floods into me, and my eyes widen in horror, and for a moment, everything just seems to shatter and I am left totally exposed to the pain that's been waiting to enter for so many years. I was always strong, but there was one little point in me that will be forever fragile- my sister. I can deny it all I want to, but I need her. I won't go as far as saying she's my other half, but we are tied together by invisable strings- we are twins, after all. Time and tragety have worn these ropes of friendship and sisterhood, and they are now so thin that they are simply threads, but they are there. They probably always will be.

And then the stone pieces that surround my heart flee back to their places, fitting like puzzle pieces back into each other until there isn't even the slightest niche on their smooth surfaces. The pieces fit so well together that you can't see the cracks, although yes, I'll admit that it broke a long time ago and is likely to again.. Anger replaces fear and shock, and fire enters my eyes as I struggle to lean toward her. Suddenly, it doesn't matter if she's close to tears, or that she's hurting inside, or that she's as broken as I am. All that matters is that she was actually thinking of leaving me (my self centered half takes over now), and was going to do it without really caring about the outcome. Soar fingers dig into the soft, damp ground beneath me. "Don't you dare talk like that," I growl, glaring over at her. "Ever. I don't want to hear you say anything like that ever again. We have fought to survive these hard times, and we will fight until the end, Imi, because that's what we have to do. We aren't going to pretend that our life is easy, because it isn't. We aren't going to pretend this isn't Luke's fault, because is is. We aren't going to pretend that things will ever be the way they were before, because the truth is, no matter what we do, they won't." My voice is hard, but it softens as I go on. "We can't give up after all we've been through, Imi. Not now." I turn my head to gaze at the river's white, foaming surface that rushes past as I softly add, "Not yet."

It's a very emotional speech for me, and I end up feeling very empty after it. Like the emotions I had locked safe inside the darkest corners of my mind had finally boiled over, and now I'm left with an empty pot (although I have no doubt it will be filled again soon). Yes, the pain is haunting, and there were times when I felt weak and powerless against it. But I've always stood my ground and dealt with it, letting it add to already large amount of hurt inside of me. Now I realize that standing up to the pain may not always be the best thing- there are times when it would be better to run. But at the same time, constantly running from it isn't right either. I don't know. Sometimes it seems like the battle wounds aren't worth the victory- yeah, it's true, I can always fight the pain. But I can't always win.

Life is like the river. It will keep on pounding against me, undeniably persistant, wearing me down. But I'm stuck in the middle of it, so I might as well just let it hit me instead of trying to resist. And yes, eventually, I will break under all the pressure. But that's okay, because I'll just be dragged off to another point of view where I can settle down again and continue to let the currents whip against me and envy those who somehow manage to go with the flow. Maybe Imi already knows that- maybe she doesn't. To me, it seems like she's sunk to the bottom, where nothing can reach her- not the currents, not the good things, and not even me. I've lost her to the dark, scary place I can't see under the constantly moving surface.

It's not my fault that happened. But we were once to halves of a whole. We broke apart, and that was because of me. But... but I'm not strong enough to break that bond on my own. We were so close back then, one person couldn't have been the cause of our separation. I'm not the only one to blame. Still, maybe if I had held on tighter, we wouldn't have drifted apart. Maybe things would be different. But that happened in the past. I can't change it. Maybe it's not too late to fix things, though. But no, it's too late to go back to the way things were. I just finished telling Imi that. It's not worth trying.

But still, I'll hold on tight to these threads that connect us, because they're what will keep her from drowning down there.

After he left, our house transformed.
It wasn't a home.
Just a building that he didn't live in.
<><><><><><><><><><>

My gaze follows her retreating figure, running from battle just as she always has done. I suppose I can only blame myself for her pain right now, but she must learn that her problems aren't always my fault. People always give authority to those who are older, and Imi beat me to the world by six minutes, but she isn't the strong one. I am. I always have been, and fear that I always will be. People fear for me because I cover my deeper emotions with happiness, but it's really Imi they should be concerned about. Instead of paying attention to the wounded warrior, they should keep an eye on the girl who is too scared to fight. While she is my older sister, I have always considered myself the one who has to take care of her, which is one of the many reasons that I left her behind- it was enough stress to nurse myself back to sanity, but her, too? Impossible.

She's scared of me? Well, she should be. Who knows what kind of monster all this stress and sorrow has turned me into? I have been hollowed out and filled with all these tears and I just want them to go away. I'm sick and tired of crying myself to sleep and waiting for him to come home even though he left us years ago. I don't want to watch Imi crumble and fall with no one there to catch her but me. I don't want to sit at the dinner table every night and have it be painfully obvious that he's not there. I just don't want to miss him anymore. It hurts too much to feel, so I don't. It hurts too much to care, so I don't. And it hurts too much to help, so I don't.

But now I have to face that hurt and help her.

I stand up shakily, grabbing the tree for support. My limbs feel like they are made of lead, and immediately my vision blurs as I straighten. I lean against the rough trunk and breath heavily for a moment, my eyes hazel eyes wide. I struggle to move myself forward, one step after another, feeling like I'm about to puke. The rain still falls, gliding down my skin like a million teardrops as I force myself forward, my steps slipping slightly on the damp ground. The river's roaring gradually fades into a distant hissing sound as I make my way through the trees, following the pathway of muddy footsteps she left behind. There are dozens of reasons why I shouldn't be following her, but an odd kind of sisterly protection holds onto me and pushes me onward, through the rain.

By the time I've reached her, she is fast asleep. I immediately know something is wrong because of the way she tosses and turns, her breathing rapid and her eyes cringed shut. I sit next to her, watching her struggle with a nightmare as she has dozens of times before. I suppose this is exactly how I look in the middle of my nightmares- terrified and lonely. I often dream of finding Luke, only to have him turn on me, or be hurt by the Keepers even though I beg them not to. Those are some of the kinder nightmares, though. I've never told any member of my family about my horrible dreams- they are dark and terrifying, and I'd prefer to keep them to myself for the sake of others. Imi has never shared her dreams with me, either. I think it might be her odd little way of trying to protect me- it's sad how strong she has to be, even though on the inside she's no more than a weak little girl, just like me.

When she screams, I reach over and gently shake her shoulder. We both scream in our sleep, often waking our parents. They know by now, though, not to come and check on us. They cannot calm us- we can only calm each other. It's the only thread of hope that our sisterhood still exists. Despite whatever happens during the day, we continue to help each other at night. It's a routine that started when we just babies and continues through our childhood. Other people have comfort blankets or stuffed animals to comfort them. I have Imi, and Imi has me.

I hate to say it, but maybe I nightmare is exactly what we needed right now.

Because the truth is,
I never stopped searching for him.
<><><><><><><><><><><><>

It was impossible, even (especially?) for me, to see her this way. Something inside of me stirs. It feels like there is actual pain blooming in my chest, spreading and wrapping it's icy hot petals around my heart. I fight to keep it down, where I locked it up a long time ago, but instead it continues to grow. Not even my greatest weapons- ice and stone- can stop it, because I still feel my twin's pain, whether I like it or not. We're connected, always have been, and always will be. Even if we were only sisters, I would still feel a flash of protective anger at her tears, and immediately I would find a way to punish the cause of her pain. But this time, the cause is me. I'm the cruel, heartless person who made this innocent girl cry. I have no one to blame except myself.

What am I supposed to do, though? I can't take blows for us both. It's true, Luke left, and if one looked closely, they could see the little chip right in the center of my heart. It's the piece he took with him. But I've realized that when I fall down, even if I've just jumped off a cliff, I have to stand up and keep on moving again. Imi stays fallen on the ground, and I've always blamed her for that, but maybe now it's time to retrace my steps and help her up again. Things will never be the way they used to be. We have changed too much, too permanently, to ever really go back to the way things were. And we won't have Luke to guide us. But maybe... just maybe... we can start walking together again?

But no. It's a bad idea, filled with uncertainty and possible pain. A plan that has many risks. And I can't just suddenly become the protective twin again. I'm not strong enough for that yet- I only have enough armor for one of us. It would take a long time for us to even become friends again (although did that friendship completely die yet? I can still feel the warmth of the last glowing embers... would it be so impossible to bring it back to life?). And even then, after a new friendship has been formed, will we agree on anything? Will we have anything to talk about? Anything in common? Is friendship possible after we have grown so far apart? When we were children, we got along because we were so similar in so many ways. But now we are practically opposites of each other- the warrior and the runner. Friendship and sisterhood seem so far away after all that has happened.

Yet how do we help each other through nightmares? I try to focus on the feeling I get when I wake up to hear Imi screaming. Tired. And... and distracted. Not really thinking about what I'm doing. I mostly think about just getting her out of the horrible place she's dreamed up, because she always does the same for me. And that's when it hits me. I'm not thinking about anything else. Nothing else really seems to matter. Without the pressures of our past, present, and future, we are basically the same- two little girls who have nightmares. When I'm waking up Imi, I'm only thinking about how tired I am, and how scared she must feel. Because, as much as we have our nightmares, they always seem very real. Mine can be especially vivid and clear, and that's scary. And I know that Imi must be feeling the same way about her dreams.

So... how does Imi feel now? A complicated question suddenly seems a bit easier. How do I feel now? Well... alone. Tired. Kind of scared. A bit dizzy from walking so far after almost drowning. Sad, because I can't feel the friendship that existed between us before Luke left. And if I were in Imi's position, and she was in mine, what would I want her to do? The answer dawns on me quickly, and I feel surprise flood through me, followed by uncertainty.

Finally, feeling very awkward, I wrap an arm around her, feeling very vulnerable because I'm not supposed to feel, but right now these feelings are actually kind of nice. As if, for one moment, I have my twin back. "Quiet, now. Do not blame yourself for others' mistakes. It'll be alright, Imi. It'll be alright."

And, although I'd never admit it, at that moment, I didn't want to be an individual. I just wanted to be the person I was born to be- my sister's twin.

((OOC: Surprise!))

Hush, now.
No more lies.
<><><><><><><>

There is a reason why I fear opening up.

For almost four years, I let stone encase my heart, cold and strong. I couldn't let someone hurt me like Luke did. Not again. Because that pain was blinding. It was worse than the day I fell out of a tree and broke my arm, because that pain went away. But it is very hard for a broken heart to heal, and the hurt lingers, dancing inside, fading but still somehow there. At first, it was a kind of numb feeling, when I was too stunned to really understand. That first morning blurred beyond recognition, as minutes slipped into hours and Imi and I did not go to school. Instead we listened to the all too loud ticking of the seconds as we watched the door, afraid to hope but needing to feel something other than nothing. Then the real pain hit. It was something like a stab at around noon as the house remained silent, and I happened to catch Luke's laughing eyes in a photo in the hallway. In a choked voice, I excused myself from the table, leaving Imi behind as I raced past memories and into our bedroom. All at once I felt it hit me, exploding inside of my heart like a firework. I dove onto my bed and cried, hiding my tears in my pillow because I had to be brave even though I was only a little girl.

I never wanted to feel that again, and so I let myself freeze, no matter what the consequences were. I left Imi stranded behind me, and allowed myself to gain new friends that I knew wouldn't hurt me because I didn't really care about them and they didn't really care about me. And up until now, that has worked just fine. Life could throw whatever it wanted at me, and I'd be ready, facing it like a true warrior. Victory was always the outcome, but no reason to celebrate- I couldn't let my gaurd down, even for a second. And yet... now, I let it all melt, for Imi of all people? I made my decision years ago, thinking that was that. It had been over. At least, I thought it had been. Now I am only confused and tired of it all.

I reached out to her sincerely, with a true hope to be closer with my sister in the future. They weren't lies- they were what I honestly thought could and would happen. My words toward her weren't said in instinct, or a mood swing, or even pity. They were said while I felt a sisterhood that only exists between Imi and I- something that I haven't felt in a long, long time. And my stole walls weakened in order to let the good feeling in, because I haven't felt anything in such a long time and it just felt so nice to have joy fill my heart again. But it was also a big mistake, because quickly accompanying that feeling was anger, and then, finally, pain.

As she pushed herself away from me, I felt a moment of vulnerablity, and suddenly I really was the younger sister. The girl who made a past mistake and was paying for it. But now, I resume my mask of stone, because no, she will not be rewarded with the starbursts of pain in my hazel eyes. She won't win this fight- I will always come up on top, because I am the warrior and she is the weakling who can't even stay and fight. I came after her once, in an act of sympathy that turned into something far worse- kindness. A gesture I couldn't afford, and am now paying for. She has no right to be angry at me when I do what I have to do to cling onto sanity- no right to blame me for all her problems, when really she can only blame herself, just like me with my problems. I will not be dragged down by guilt- I am strong and I am stone and she shall never try to change that ever again.

"So that's it?" I call after her, my voice cold. "This is Ink's fault, as always? I'm not surprised. You were always the scared one, who ran away from the truth." My tone grows bitter, and I glare down at the grass bent over by rain beneath my feet. The droplets glide over the smooth green surface, falling into an already wet, muddy ground like the tears I refuse to cry. "It's time you faced it, Imi. You have no one to blame but yourself, because you were too weak to stand up after you fell and now you're stuck there, blaming me for your trouble. But whatever makes it easier, right?"