'holding on to thin air'~ [shrimp!]
Jul 10, 2011 17:50:07 GMT -5
Post by ∂αмєη on Jul 10, 2011 17:50:07 GMT -5
T A N N E R x A L D O U S x R O W G A N
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[/blockquote][/justify]I suppose that it made it worse that I could remember each and every second of that dreaded day. The morning, when I ate each strip of bacon and my small egg whilst my eyes never left the TV in the square, which I could see from my spot in my home. When my brother, Trace, had left the violent and bloody battle at the Cornucopia to find a safer place with his ally. When she took down the others in their way. And I remembered every single part of his death, from the kiss to his final death. Every last bit of it played back in my mind during each night. Every part of that day could make me cry. That's why I often cried myself to sleep and woke up to not being able to cry anymore. That's why I miss him so much.
My brother Trace had been everything to me. I can't really explain it. He was the only one who cared that I was there. He was the only one who cared about how I felt and what I was up to and what I would be doing that day. My parents cherished my sister like she was the only person on earth. They barely cared for Trace too. It was us two against the world. We were the three amigos, the three musketeers and the three blind mice, except one of us was gone. But all I ever needed and all I ever wanted was Trace. But he was taken away from me. And I took myself away from my parents. I would've ran away if I had somewhere else to go. But no, I was all alone in this world now that he was gone. All because a psycho girl took his life. He trusted her and she backstabbed him. I was glad to see her death moments later. I felt happy when I saw her blood splattered across the ground. It was a feeling that didn't even come close to comparing to my depression.
My parents told me to forget about it. They said that it would be safer for them and for myself if I just forgot about what had happened. It was hard to forget that the Capitol had violently pulled my brother away from me without even caring about it. They couldn't care really. Another twenty three kids would die. If they cared about anybody they'd have to care about everybody. That would be a disaster for the Capitol. It'd be against their wishes. They wouldn't get what they truly want. And that can't happen. Last time they were told they couldn't win, the Games were made. Who knows what they'd come up with if we tried again. I don't want to think about the possibilities. Every time I think about the Games, the thought of Trace becomes that much stronger. And then the depression returns. I can't let that happen.
The scorching sun was causing sweat to drip down my skin. There was no sign of wind so I had no help with fighting off the horrible heat. I knew the way to town fairly well and if I got lost, the obvious dark rock path was helpful. I took this path twice a week though. Those were the days when my classes were at the Town Hall. I'd have to walk to town and then walk back. It took a while since my home was near the edge of the District but I liked the calm walk. Nobody ever bothered me because it was rarely traveled. Only the ones who lived as far as I did had to use it. And nothing stood out on the path. It was fairly bland, especially since they built the large oil rigs. You could only look at giant machinery and the black liquid for so long before you felt disgusted.
But I guess I didn't know the path all too well. I was back in the fields of what used to be a pasture. They had yet to set up the oil rigs here obviously. The grass swayed quietly, just enough that it seemed tranquil and calm. And there was one horse. One horse that was near a cute little home. And I couldn't help but recognize the beautiful creature. Cain. Thoughts of being with Trace as he groomed the magnificent beast or when he taught me how to ride him filled my mind. I couldn't ignore these thoughts. But why was the horse here? I was told that he had been killed after Trace was reaped. The whole family was told that by some frail man who would not let go of a letter. But he gave us stuff, saying that Trace wanted us to have it. Does that mean Cain was given to somebody too?
I carefully step closer to the horse, lifting my hand towards his mouth so he could smell me. And that's when it seemed to click for him that he knew me because he lightly placed his head in my hand. I smiled, remembering the great times that I had had with this horse. The great times Trace had. Why did he have to be taken...none of us deserved that. But in this moment, things actually seemed alright. Things seemed like they could be good. And it felt good to be alone with one of the last things that Trace had left to the world.