By the Light of the Moon (Chaos)
Sept 11, 2011 15:21:19 GMT -5
Post by Stare on Sept 11, 2011 15:21:19 GMT -5
[/size]. Lia . Veronica . Summarell .
And so we spread these broken wings,
And dare to think of impossible things.
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I can't fly.
Alana once told me of these beautiful creatures that lived up, above our home. She said that they had very flat arms, and when they moved the arms up and down, they'd lift off the ground and soar through the air. Mother says she remembers the birds- she says that she always admired their power and freedom. Father says that they were all different colors. He then listed meaningless colors, and the only ones I remember are white and black. After Alana told me about birds, I jumped on my bed, lifting my arms up and down, hitting the air as hard as I could. And I leaped, breathing, feeling that one instant where gravity cannot pull one down. And then I hit the ground with a very loud thump. I am not a bird, therefor I cannot fly. But flight sounds like the very thing I need, for while my parents seem to think that this horrible underground labyrinth is freedom, I dare to disagree. I drag my hand across a dusty wall, wrinkling my nose at the damp, muddy smell that I should have gotten used to a long time ago.
The long hallway is unlit, but I've been wandering through this maze (prison) for years. I hardly need to depend on my sight to move around anymore. Besides, I've walked this path a million times, whenever I'm especially lonely. I'm positive that this is the way Alana took to escape that night- I found a torn piece of her black cloak caught on the sharp edge of a window in an abandoned room in this hallway. (That one piece of black, worn and fraying, remains in my dresser drawer, unseen for years because it reminds me that she is gone, gone, gone and those kinds of thoughts cause blinding pain inside of me that takes a long time to go away.) Tall grasses have always blocked my view of the outside world, but they are something other than the dusty, lifeless world I live in now.
I had been almost asleep when it happened. The ceiling had suddenly disappeared, replaced by the window I know so well. But something was wrong- the glass was tilted toward me, so that I could reach through and feel the grass if I liked. And then I had heard a voice, so familiar that it made my eyes widen in disbelief. "And you'll never be alone, Lia- you will find friends who will protect you, and you'll find them hiding in the strangest places." There was a flash of black, something bright white, and then I had been in my bed again, pale as a sheet and breathing heavy. Of course, it had taken me a moment to recognize what the vision meant- I was going to see Alana again. All I had to do was climb out that window, and she'd be there. What else could it possibly mean?
And so now I move down the hallway, as silent as a ghost, toward the abandoned room. The door is unlocked, and opens with a creak that makes me cringe, but no one comes, and so I continue into the room. The only think that fills the small space is a bed, the mattress lacking sheets, covers, and a pillow. Some say this room is haunted, but I have spent hours sitting on this very bed, gazing up at a window that is my only clue as to where she went and what happened to her, and nothing scary or mysterious has ever happened here. I wander over to the bed, my eyes automatically shooting up toward the corner of the window where I found that torn piece of cloth. I step up onto the springy mattress and examine the window, biting down on my lower lip. A wrinkle appears between my eyebrows as I stretch forward cautiously, shoving too-large fingers into the tiny crack beneath the glass and desperately pulling. And, to my surprise, it opens.
Immediately, something amazing fills the air. Something that smells fresh and damp and clean. The grass bows toward me, and I reach out in delight to feel the smooth surface of the long, hairlike plants that grow out of the ground. I have, of course, seen plants before- we grew them in class as an experiment (the little rocks I had been given had, of course, failed to grow into the same odd, delicate things that everyone else had), but I have never seen plants in such abundance. I think dig my fingers into ground, which is damp, spongy, and so much better than the dirt we have here. Somehow, everything feels so much more alive. I take a deep breath and jump up, off the mattress, and into the window, clawing at the ground and kicking the air with me feet, ungracefully pulling myself through the small hole inch by agonizing inch, until I finally laying face down on the ground, with a mouth full of something that tastes disgustingly similar to the food they feed us down in the cafeteria.
But it was worth it.
There are a few paintings of the outside world that hang in various places all over District Thirteen, and Alana wasted no time in having me memorizing each and every one of them. So the things I see when I look up are not totally unfamiliar- those tall, dark things are trees, and I'm laying in grass. But everything feels so much more real- and it's a good feeling. Alana told me that I was born in the woods, and that when I finally saw the outside world, I would be connecting with my home. She couldn't have been more right- the more I smell and see and feel, the more I realize that I don't belong trapped underground. I belong up here, out here. I throw my head back so my pale waves of hair tumble back behind me, staring at the blackness dotted with white that I know to be the night sky Directly above me is the pale, round moon, giving off a strange pale light that makes my skin seem to glow. There is no mud ceiling to block my view- up above me is something never ending, something beautiful, something huge.
And for a moment, I forget about Alana. I forget about not being smart enough in school, and not having any friends, and being trapped. In this moment, I am free and nobody can take that away from me.
I close my eyes tightly shut, spread my arms out like wings, and breath.