AVLC | Baby, It's Cold Outside {Claydana}

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AVLC | Baby, It's Cold Outside {Claydana} Nov 27, 2011 2:48:10 GMT -5

Post by Nofo on Nov 27, 2011 2:48:10 GMT -5

[Notice: This thread will take place from now on (November 27th) until the 3rd of December when we will start the next part of this mini-plot. Obviously, this is just a side-thread. In this thread, Edana Lightwood has asked to meet Clayton Synclair at the park in District One. They are currently just friends. Clayton will not be brought into the main thread at this point. He will be invited for the Second Chapter.]

Edana Lightwood

The layers of Edana Lightwood's outfit were perfectly suited for the weather on the early Christmas Eve morning. Her feet stayed perfectly planted on the snowy ground of the pavement as she waited for the boy who waited for her. She owed it to Clayton. He was there for him when he needed her, and she was determined to be there for him in return. She actually liked being around him. He gave her ease when she needed it. Even then, she still found herself wishing it was York she was spending Christmas with. York and their children. The thought of being a mother still terrified her. She had already risked their lives so many times. She was already a terrible mother and she wouldn't blame Cillian and Siobhan if they resented her in the way she resented her own mother. I won't allow myself to make my mother's mistakes. I will make them proud of me. All she wanted now was to make her babies happy. Everything else came second now. It had come late, but they were her perfect things. They lit her face up every single morning. They made her forget the pains. They were light and they were love.

She had gone out to meet Clayton while Keela watched the twins. She had called him about twin and asked him to meet her at the park. Edana wished to invite him over for Christmas with the Lightwoods. He would be nearly alone, and he saved her life. She wished to thank him. She didn't want to be alone. Nightmares still plagued her in her sleep. She saw blood. So much blood. Her blood, York's blood. Her family that could have been, slaughtered. She saw York's dead cold body every time she closed her eyes. She stopped wearing the bracelet after a while, but it didn't stop the dreams. It was still there in the arena when she thought about it. She saw it on his wrist. It hurt to know that it was there with him while he died but she wasn't. Everything went cold. The good in the world left the room as the knife hit his skin one too many times. I left too. I should have died, but it was him who left while I lost everything. She never even got to tell him that she loved him. Her body felt numb and empty. She was nothing again and it broke her. Nobody loved her the way she had loved York. Edana wanted another shot at everything she didn't have. She wanted it wherever she could find it.

I'm not meant to love, but it doesn't stop me from trying to feel something. I want what I used to have. I want to feel normal. I mean nothing now. It sucks and there's nothing I can do to stop it but find someone to be my new ground. Someone to keep me from falling and hitting the ground. Keep me breathing. To breathe a new life into my tired lungs. Someone to rest my tired eyes. Someone to make he happy again. I want someone to love me like I'm all they'd never mean. I would love them back. We would love and die together. We would leave together as old lovers. It would all be alright. Inside, she knew she shouldn't wish for something so improbable. No one could love a girl with as many flaws in her personality as Edana. She wasn't the girl guys loved. Edana wasn't a fairytale princess. She was the ugly-stepsister or something like that. She was the character no one liked.

After crying for so long, the tears refused to come. She learned to control her features. Edana used a shield to stop her emotions from showing in any way she could. Meddling in Edana's life brought trouble to her, so she did what she could to stop it from the inside. Edana wasn't the sixteen year old girl who cried over a boy she had just met thirty minutes earlier. She wasn't stronger, but she was numb. Maybe that was for the best. It would probably stop whatever trouble could come her way.

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AVLC | Baby, It's Cold Outside {Claydana} Nov 27, 2011 14:33:04 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Nov 27, 2011 14:33:04 GMT -5

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Snow. Such a basic word represented something that was so pure and beautiful that it shouldn't be able to be summarized in four simple letters. Snow, in all it's cold and white glory, seemed to remove all problems and replace it with a warmth inside your chest that made everything appear so much nicer. It was if the clouds high up in the sky had fallen to the ground, covering the rough dirt with it's fluffiness. Winter was the favourite season for many people, even if they didn't want to admit it. Sure, there were people who'd have to spend days trying to clear out the front entrance to their shop. Sometimes, you'd have to give and take in life. Give up a few days of business in order to enjoy such an incredible thing. Wasn't it worth it in the end? Cries of laughter from children could be heard almost everywhere you went as they built forts or snowmen. Even snowball fights could be fun, despite the war part of it.

Snowflakes fell all around me as I exited from my warm home. The fireplace had been running all day, only thanks to the new shipment of wood that had arrived from District Seven the other day. The cold that nipped at my bare skin was actually comforting for a brief few seconds and soon enough, my body was cooled down. My fingers fumbled with the zipper on my sweater, pulling it up higher and then pulling my jacket tighter around my body. Many people were out and about already, trying to go about their daily rituals or whatever, not caring about the time of year and the celebrations that often went on. The new year would arrive in just a few days. That was enough to celebrate but many people found other reasons to pull out the expensive wines they kept and to feast on more food than they needed.

It wasn't common for me to head out when it was actually snowing, even if it was lightly like today. My leg was still feeling awkward and alien, even before it started snowing. The cold air just made the metal components get twice as freezing, my leg feeling tense as a result. However, I was provided a reason to leave the warmth and comfort of my home just for today. Friends had already asked me to go out to the Square with them as it was often decorated with various bright lights and banners. I heard it was an absolutely remarkable sight to see, but I still didn't leave. When one name was mentioned though, just one name, I had hopped up from the couch near the fire and headed to gather my things. Just her name. She had asked to meet with me and I really couldn't reject the offer. Even if I didn't want to, which would never happen cause I'd never not want to, I couldn't just leave her hanging. I felt almost attached to Edana Lightwood.

Everything even remotely 'interesting' in my life had happened because of her. I have had many female friends in the past, many of them had even become more to me. But she was different. Edana was a friend that I enjoyed having, a friend who didn't need to be more right away. Whether I wanted her to be more or not, I'd never say. Wasn't it already great the way it was? She had so much to deal with, what with the twins and all. It was a big surprise that she even had the time to meet with me at the park. Whenever I tried to consider exactly what Edana and I were, I'd just confuse myself. What did I want us to be? That was just as confusing. My brain couldn't even handle the simplest of math, let alone topics of romance and friendship and what I wanted my future to look like.

The park was in view now. Trees were covered in a white blanket of snow, making the path to the center look that much prettier. And there she was. A smile appeared on my face and would surely stay there as long as our conversation stayed positive. It was hard not to smile around her. Why was that? I still couldn't figure out why I'd feel all warm and happy and giddy when she was around. Directing myself towards where she was standing, I pulled the bouquet of flowers from beneath my jacket. I had purchased them on the way with the money I managed to find in my bedroom, enough to get me quite a nice assortment. And there she was. She looked so beautiful with the snow gently falling around her, some pieces seeming to bounce off of her as they were surely bouncing off of me. What did she want me for? To be honest, I really didn't care. The moment was too great to ignore. She was my friend and I loved that she was. I offered the flowers forward and grinned.

"Merry Christmas, Edana."

Last Edit: Nov 27, 2011 14:34:19 GMT -5 by ∂αмєη

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AVLC | Baby, It's Cold Outside {Claydana} Nov 27, 2011 20:27:17 GMT -5

Post by Nofo on Nov 27, 2011 20:27:17 GMT -5

Her hand brushed the snow from the park bench, cupping and building it into a white sphere. What's a snowy winter day without a snowball? Edana packed the ice together with a firm grip on her gloves. Her feelings of snow had changed. She had learned to like the cold for the idea that she was like it. Edana Lightwood was a winter child. Cold and numb, she thrived alone and cold. She was pretty on the outside, numb and cold. Just like the snow that melted and numbed the tips of her fingers. She forced the snowball into the bench, crumbling into pierces of packed ice. Now it was broken too. She gave a half-smile, a smile that suggested a laugh that didn't want to come. One that said she ruined everything she touched. I'm absolutely no good and I deserve no happiness. It won't stop me from pursuing it. She found herself thinking of Clayton again. Why did I invite Clayton? One of us will get hurt. She was right, but Edana also knew it wouldn't be her. Her reasons for inviting Clayton were selfish and mean. Edana wanted to use Clayton to feel something. Clayton was going to help her know she still meant something. She wanted to mean something to him, even if he meant nothing to her. She felt awful, but it wasn't nearly enough to stop her.

She had asked Clayton to come so she coild start her plan. She wanted to get close to him. Edana would make a move soon enough. Kiss him soon enough. She wanted to be wanted and that was all she needed. Edana made sure he would come. She planned to invite him to her house for Christmas. Maybe he had other plans. If so, she might try to find someone else. Clayton was her best chance at finding someone who would put up with her and someone she could love back. Edana desperately wanted to be loved. I need to be wanted. I want to be important to someone. It didn't matter if he was hurt or she was. Maybe I'm a slut. I need to feel something. Maybe I'm a bitch because of it, but I need to try something She smiled as she saw the large figure move into view. The snow fell around him as if he was a ghost. He wasn't clear in her vision by any means but she knew by the height that it was Clayton Synclair. She smiled the second she saw him. It wasn't a forced or fake smile either. Edana genuinely was happy to see the boy who saved her and her babies' lives.

Edana had no idea how she would thank him for what he had done for her, but she would genuinely try. Her plans took backstage or a second as she stood up to greet him with a hug. He pulled out flowers and she smiled. Edana took them glady with a smile.

"Merry Christmas, Edana."

Her smile glowed as she opened her arms and spoke his name. "Clayton, it's so nice to see you." It really was. He was handsome and oh so kid. He was instantly likable. He would be a good friend. It made her feel evil to know she was going to take advantage of someone as nice as Clayton. It wasn't right and she knew she shouldn't. But she had to try something. She hoped that maybe she could love him. Edana didn't wait for him to move into the hug. The blonde girl threw her arms around Clayton and smiled up at him.

"I have something to ask you." She really hoped he would come with her to her house for Christmas. She didn't want to spend it alone. She wouldn't be spending it alone without him, but she wanted a friend there. The Lightwood house could get crazy. The feeling the house emitted made her uneasy sometimes. Edana wasn't sure she would be able to handle it alone. That was why she wanted to invite him, even if it was just an after-thought. Clayton was like her, and it made her happy, even if it wasn't for the same reason as hers.

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AVLC | Baby, It's Cold Outside {Claydana} Nov 28, 2011 19:44:57 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Nov 28, 2011 19:44:57 GMT -5

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Sometimes I wonder if there's such thing as being too confused. Being so unsure about something to the point where you just can't get any worse. All my life I'd be more and more confused as the days went by. I mean, a problem would be presented in class and not only would I not get it right away, I'd stress myself out all day trying to figure it out. Figuring out my feelings towards Edana was probably twice as difficult. I mean, it was hard enough to think about it when I was alone. I'd think about both sides of it, wondering if she'd always be a friend or if something else could be found. I'd think about what my future might be like and if she could fit into it. And sometimes, I think about Lyla. I'd never admit that out loud though. She was supposed to be a forgotten memory. I tried to forget her, at least.

Seeing Edana just made it even more impossible. Whenever I looked at her, I'd find myself unable to form proper sentences and my palms would get all clammy and I'd be a walking bag of nerves. Whether that was because she was remarkably stunning or because a part of me had strong feelings towards her, I wasn't sure. But when she smiled at me and I could see a her whole face lighten up, I'd realize that there was nowhere else in the world that I'd want to be. That didn't exactly help with figuring things out either, though. Did I like her enough to know that I wanted her to be a part of my life? Would we even work out as more than friends? Could I go as far as saying part of me loved her? I wasn't an expert on love at all, so I couldn't even begin to guess. All I could do was piece together the signs and everything I felt and hope to come to some kind of conclusion.

And then she was hugging me and everything around us seemed to disappear. Maybe it was because everything around us was a bright white colour and nothing really stood out. Still, all that mattered to me at that moment was Edana. Every part of me felt like it was being shocked with electricity. Not enough to hurt though. It was just a light tickling sensation wherever our bodies were in contact. Probably because it's so cold. We're transferring body heat or something. As if I knew anything about body heat. I couldn't tell you anything specific about it and yet, it was the first excuse that came to mind. Every time I found something that seemed to point towards feelings for the girl, I'd find a way to discount it and to prove it wrong. Was I in denial?

Or maybe I didn't want to hurt her. That was a big thing that I'd consider in my mind. Maybe my heart was saying one thing and it was reaching out and begging for her but my brain was trying to hold back. She had the babies, she had her life, she had family and friends and things that she probably wanted to do. Who says I would be a part of the life plan she has probably mentally formed? My involvement could harm her more than it could back her up for all I know. But then again, it was hard for my brain and heart to want something different. I mean, I couldn't get her off my mind, nor could I keep my heart from wanting to spend time with her. I don't know how it all worked. All school taught me was that your heart pumped the blood and your brain sent directions to the rest of your body. It didn't teach me all the emotional or philosophical ideas behind it.

I realized that she was speaking again. I stopped my train of thought and pushed it all away. I would figure out if I loved her later. Now was not the time. "I have something to ask you." And even though I tried to stop it, the train just kept going and I begin to wonder how much she truly meant to me once again. Would I want to live without her? Probably not. Could I live without her? Probably not. There was no point in fighting it. Until I knew for sure, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about what we were, what we would be and who she was to me. Until I had proof for one side or the other. Whether she turned me down and I realized I didn't care, or if for whatever reason, our hands brushed and the weird tingling sensation returned and covered my whole body. I didn't know what would happen that could prove it, I just hoped something could happen sooner rather than later. I was getting too stressed out by being confused.

And she wanted to ask me something? What was it about? Assuming probably wasn't going to do me any good. I'd just think about every little thing that could happen and I'd get myself nowhere and only end up standing in the same position with the same dumb look on my face while trying to figure it out. It was probably safer to just ask what was up, you know. "It's really nice to see you too. Oh, how are the twins?" I added in quickly, suddenly missing the warmth and the feeling from hugging her. I searched her eyes for any hint at what she wanted but nothing was there. It could be bad. Yeah, it probably could be but then why would she have reacted so well to my arrival? Maybe she's trying to build you up before she breaks you down. Maybe she was genuinely happy to see me? Speculating was useless. It was getting me nowhere. I looked down at her and smiled, ready to finally ask. "Yeah? What's up?"