Learning to FIGHT again (Aesir)

I will have to pull my heart away

Cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday

" I'm ripping your posters off the wall
I'm moving the boxes into the hall
I stop when I hear a drumbeat call

The water was quenching, and Ella thoroughly enjoyed it. Her forehead was beating with sweat and she already felt gross after an hours work. Sighing, she went to grab her bag and pull out the towel she had packed just for this occasion. It wasn't really a secret anymore that she was quite the sweater, but she might as well try and conceal it. And besides, it was gross for her forehead to be all sticky with sweat. She quickly grabbed her towel and dried off her head. She felt the heat of her face and knew that she was probably beat red. She was very pale skinned, and so when she worked hard, it showed heavily. Now that she was feeling a little bit better, she moved back to the water jugs to take another large glass. She could never fill up on enough water. She learned that early in her years and she easily chugged it knowing that it would fix her headache with time.

The boy she had previous seen in the arena appeared in the doorway. She watched him casually as he sat down and placed his feet on the table. She eyed him skeptically before glancing at the clock. Aesir tended to have the same break schedule as her, and she really wasn't one to complain about it. When they did talk, she enjoyed it, but they never seemed to have long thoughtful conversations. They just never got around to it. Training to be a Career demanding all your attention, and so everyone was aware that friends came second. They always came after the needs for the training.

"I wasn't showing off. I was doing my duty," So he speaks. Ella let out a breath. Mhmm. Sure. If that's what he wanted her to think, than by all means, she could pretend to buy it. If it'd make him feel better.

"Stop trying to be funny." She growled at him, but even she couldn't hide the smile on her lips. They were teasing each other. Something they often did, even if it was brief. They were good natured to each other, even though they were well aware that the times could change, and they would be forced with possibly having to kill each other. Ella tried to think of something else. She couldn't afford to think of how her relationships with other kids might affect how she'd do in the games. They were her chance to prove herself, and she wasn't going to let anyone get in the way. She couldn't. She had managed to keep herself distant from kids before, and this wasn't going to be much different. The times between the two trainees were brief, and meant nothing. Ella needed to think this in order to calm down. It worried her how the thought of killing someone she knew brought her nearly to hysterics. Of course, she would never let it show in public. No. These thoughts were concealed until she was laying awake for hours into the night. She couldn't think of anything else during those times. Here was different. Aesir was being friendly, and there was no need to worry. She wasn't even in he games this year, so she just needed to worry about her training for the next year. "Boys do not throw spears like that." She paused for a second. "Unless they were trying to show off."

She laughed. She couldn't help it. This was just for fun. It wasn't stressful, this was her down time. In a half hour she would have to go back and train more, so this was her chance to relax. She could use a friend. Sighing, she pulled out a chair next to Aesir and casually sat down. "What do I have to say to that?" She asked in mockery. "Hmm, well I guess it's unfortunate for you that I throw better than a whole bunch of boys." She wasn't the smoothest with insults, but she felt that it would do.




And I'll know that nobody, nobody's listening
And that's easy for me and it's better for the soul
And it's better for you and it's better for all ”

ooc; Oops! I should have made it clear that the boy wasn't Aesir... I wasn't powerplaying! But hey! This could work :) sorry bout that though

I will have to pull my heart away

Cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday

" I'm ripping your posters off the wall
I'm moving the boxes into the hall
I stop when I hear a drumbeat call

Ha. He felt insulted? Ella wrinkled her nose. She could tell he was partly kidding, but still, she would think that he would have a little bit of sense in him to know that this was her being friendly. She wasn't exactly warm and bubbly to her fellow trainees. In fact, it took a lot of warming up to Ella before she would come out of her shell. Poor Ben never saw this side of Ella, but to frank, Ella didn't care. Sure, he gave her a good life, but they had an understanding that this was work, and that meant that there was no time for bonding. In a way, they had managed to bond through their training, and had grown used to each other's hostile ways. She enjoyed the way he lead her training sessions because she was able to take him seriously and learn what she needed to learn. She knew that he appreciated that about her. She was a strong force to any team, and she held herself like she was the best. "I'd win." She stated easily. There was no way that she would let him of all people beat her. She took the challenge with a smirk on her face and looked forward to the day.


"What's up with me?" She exclaimed in almost surprise. She couldn't name the last time she had sat down and had a conversation with someone that didn't involve yelling at each other about what to do and when to do it. Oh Ben. How she loved him, but how she hated him at the same time. It's easy to see that she didn't have a lot of experience talking to other people. It felt forced and awkward, but hey, practicing would make it better. Once she knew someone, she easy adapted to them, but talking to someone for the first time was always a challenge. Being cold and hostile was sort of a defense mechanism. She used it often too. She wanted to be known as the bitch so she didn't appear weak. She was good at appearing the part too. "Well first of all, I would not stab people with my high heels. I prefer knives." One would think that telling your specialty might be dangerous to a fellow trainee, but everyone knew that she preferred knives. It was no secret in District 2 that Ella was the girl with knives. She loved the feeling of the sharp blade piercing whatever her target was. "If you aren't careful, my next target might be you." She threw at him easily, but even now you could tell that she was beginning to loosen up with her tone.

It wasn't like Aesir was that bad either. She had grown up with him, well, training with him at least, and there had been plenty of worse people to deal with. Besides, she liked his ease at keeping a conversation flowing, and the company was appreciated. Ella wouldn't admit to anyone that she got lonely, but to herself she was almost constantly thinking about. With the pressure of training and trying to keep her image up, there really wasn't a lot of time to just sit down and talk. So here she was, sipping on a glass of water and actually having a conversation. "Why do you want to be a Career?" She suddenly asked him. It was a topic she often wondered about. What were the other trainee's motives?


And I'll know that nobody, nobody's listening
And that's easy for me and it's better for the soul
And it's better for you and it's better for all ”

I will have to pull my heart away

Cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday

" I'm ripping your posters off the wall
I'm moving the boxes into the hall
I stop when I hear a drumbeat call

Ella sat there and thought about the question she had just asked. Why was she training for the Games? It was a common practice by many kids here, but the thought of actually being chosen wasn't one most kids dreamed about. More like had nightmares about. Ella sighed, it wasn't that she was a monster, it really wasn't. She just wanted something big to happen. She had seen every Hunger Games multiple times (Courtesy of Ben), and yet despite all the violence and horrible things that happened, she was ready to enter them. Ben didn't see the Games as something terrible. He held the honor of being chosen as a tribute to be the greatest thing one of his adoptive children could do. Personally, Ella wouldn't mind being chosen. As crazy as that sounded it was true. "I have other motives" There. It wasn't like she was a terrible person for feeling a certain way about the games. She was raised this way, and it wasn't like it was very different for the tributes of the real games. Sure, you could train and then never be chosen and go on your merry way. But the kids who were chosen to be Career tributes were fighters, just like her. And they knew what they had to do. Ella was prepared, and she knew that this was her calling.

"I get where you're coming from. But I don't think that's true for me. And I know some of the other kids out there aren't doing this just for increasing their survival chances. Sure, it helps a lot of kids out. It's better than coming from nothing, with little to no chance of survival. But to me? The Games are more than that. I'm trying to find a way to prove myself. I know I'm strong enough to do this, and I feel like the Games are my test. If I die, I die a death that I'm fighting for. Something that I've been working hard for my entire life. If I die, my name goes down in the Games. No, I'm not doing it just for so my name will be out there. I'm doing it for myself." He'd think that she was crazy. She knew it. She sounded crazy. But she also knew how her family died. How her parents were beaten to death by a peacekeeper. Their deaths were out of their control. They were only trying to save the poor boy that had been caught by the peacekeeper in an unlucky circumstance. Ella wanted to be in control of her death, and she wanted to never be taken down without a fight.

"You won't find me going down without a fight." She said softly. "I know it sounds crazy. I'm listening to what I'm saying and I know it doesn't make sense. But it makes sense in my head. I swear it." She laid awake at night for hours dwelling on where she stood in life. She knew that she spoke the truth about the Games. She knew it was a terrible place, but she also knew that it was a place where she could prove herself to the nation. "Without this.. I'm just the orphaned girl without a place. She barely whispered this, and she wondered if Aesir even heard her. By her tone you could tell that she didn't share this kind of story with just anyone. She hoped that he would respect her for how she felt. Ella believed that everyone was entitled to their opinions. Even if they sounded as crazy as she felt they did.


And I'll know that nobody, nobody's listening
And that's easy for me and it's better for the soul
And it's better for you and it's better for all ”

I will have to pull my heart away

Cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday

" I'm ripping your posters off the wall
I'm moving the boxes into the hall
I stop when I hear a drumbeat call

It was hard for Ella, to accept that her life could be over, all because of a game. But she tried to picture herself running. Just running through a forest trying to figure out a plan for how she would survive. She was quick, and she was smart. Given the right circumstances, she often wondered if she could possibly win, but of course those thoughts never last for long. She would die. If she went to the Games, she had accepted the fact that she would die. She would die as her parents died. For the capital. Helping a little boy being attacked by a peacekeeper was not enough to live. She had heard the story multiple times of her parents falling, and she had even seen news clips. She often asked Ben about it, even more so recently, and he would always give her the same answer. She would sometimes go digging around for more information to try and figure out anything more about them. She had pictures, from the house that they had all once lived in. All of the stuff from old the house was tucked away in a room far in the back of Ben's house. He never told her about it and so Ella had no idea that she even possessed pictures of her parents until she stumbled upon it all one day.

Aesir seemed nice enough. Ella appreciated it, but at the same time resented it. She didn't enjoy feeling weak. Feeling vulnerable in a place like the training grounds were really something she loathed the idea of. But she couldn't help. She could be as strong as you needed her to be, as fierce as anyone could ask for, but if you strip it all away, she is still an orphaned child. She still lost her parents at a very young age and has forever lost the connection between a child and a parent. Ben never tried to fill the shoes of a father, and Ella didn't really blame him, but she still did not know what it was like to have a fatherly figure. She had someone to look over her training and give her a house, but other than that there really wasn't much. They had a close bond in their own special way, but even that had its limits. Ella often wondered what he life would be like if her parents hadn't of died. Would she have siblings? Would she be training right now? Maybe she'd just be a normal kid. But Aesir's point made a hell of a lot of sense. A lot of kids were here training because their parents wanted them protected. She could bet that her parents would feel the same way. She would feel the same way if she had a child. The reaping was a terrible, terrible thing to families, and so anything to protect her own flesh and blood was worth it to her. She could only imagine her parents would feel the same way.

She was here for a different reason, but still, she could relate to it all. This wasn't just a sport, or a recreational activity. This was life or death. There were no second chances here, and Ella knew that she had to be perfect. She knew that Ben wanted her to be exactly what she was capable of, and he was going to push her to her limits. It was alright of him to do that too, because in a way, he was protecting her. In his own special way, he was preventing her from facing a terrible death that so many children face in the Games. They would have limited training, and a limited chance of surviving. But of course, every Games is different, and each year, different strengths shine. She wondered what would have happened to her if she had been in another District. Ben picked her up because he trained kids for a living. He had raised a few notable tributes, and his name was well known around District 2. But if she had been in say District 11 or 12, where would she had gone? Honestly, she probably would have died. Who would want another child when they were already struggling to keep food on the table for their own families? Ella shuddered. She was grateful to Ben. He gave her a life. He gave her a chance to start something she could be proud of.

The hand on her back surprised her, and she immediately looked down to his reassuring arm. She wasn't into physical affection, but that was because it was foreign to her. It felt nice. Honestly, it felt really good and Ella wanted more of it. But of course, she couldn't say that aloud. She knew that it would sound weird. Instead, she just looked up at Aesir. "I'm really glad you don't think I'm crazy." It was true. It was a nice relief to know that he didn't think she was a stuck up snob for wanting to prove herself. She was also glad that her point came across how she wanted it to. Ella was aware of who felt the same way and he felt differently, and it was nice to talk about it. She had definitely struggled with some trainee's responses to her views, and she had often fought about why she felt the way she did. Some didn't like it. But hey, she wasn't going to change for anyone, so why did it matter. "Aesir, I'm glad we're talking. I feel like we've never really talked before even though we see each other all the time. Crazy how that is, right?" It was crazy. Here they all were, training hours a day, and yet Ella didn't even know some of the tribute's names. "Maybe we could hang out afterwards or something? Like go get coffee." This was probably a bad idea. But she didn't really care right now.


And I'll know that nobody, nobody's listening
And that's easy for me and it's better for the soul
And it's better for you and it's better for all ”