Run, Little Girl, Run {Open}

"Huh..."

"Huh..."

"Huh..."

Her throat was closing. Her chest was moving fast. Too fast. She could feel her heart all over her body. She could feel it breaking.

A shatter of glass. It was loud in her ears. A devastated cry. That was loud too. Pitter pattering of feet. Must be Io. Another shatter, again glass. Daddy must be really mad. Or just sad. She could no longer hear Mommy's cries anymore; Mommy must have left. All she could hear was the pitter patter. The pitter patter. The pitter patter.

She remained. It was silent and not even a creak could be heard. It was lonely too. Was that how she felt two years ago? No, two years ago, she was just stunned…or shocked. She couldn't even remember. After the past few days, years felt like nothing. But they weren't nothing. Storm was not nothing.

But Sundra...Sundra had a chance, didn't she? She could have been back, giving them all hugs. Even if she was broken…Europa would have preferred a broken Sundra to no Sundra. At least a broken Sundra could be hugged. At least a broken Sundra could move. No Sundra meant no hugs. No Sundra meant no one to talk to. No Sundra meant…no older sibling. She was the oldest one in the family. Out of two.

"Huh...huh...huh..."

The television set was still on; no one had thought about turning it off as they walked out of the room. She would have done it, but she couldn't move. She was still sitting there, just like she had two years ago. Except this time she just listened. Listened. Mommy was still crying in her room, the one she shares with Daddy. Daddy wasn't there, though; he was in the kitchen and if Europa listened hard enough, she could hear a harsh, abrupt sob. Daddy never cried. Daddy was strong and emotionless. He never let his emotions get to him, something he kept trying to tell Storm as Storm would always complain. Storm didn't like Daddy's lectures, but he still took them without complaints...until he saw Europa. Then the words never failed to leave his mouth as he went on and on about how "Father" could hardly be a human being.

She missed Storm, something she did not keep secret. Even after two years, his bracelet was resting on her wrist. Storm was her Daddy too, the one she could run up to and hug when she was just a toddler. He would always make jokes and tickle her stomach until she laughed and cried while rolling on the floor. Even as she grew up, 8, 10, 13, she still enjoyed it when he would sneak up on her and attack her. Yes, she was not afraid to admit that Storm was her favorite sibling. She was not afraid to say that she idolized him while he was still walking around on two feet. But two years was a long time, and eventually she learned to deal with the pain. The whole family did. They managed to survive two years without breaking up the family. Sure, things would hurt from time to time, but they handled matters alright.

And then, Sundra was ripped from their family too. Of course, she had been alive for the past several days, but just as Storm had held on for several days, the few days did not guarantee her safety. In the end, she was gone from Europa too, just up and left. Now she was two siblings less and she felt no better as the remains of her meal started to stir in her stomach. Eyes wide, Europa finally stood up and ran out of the house as fast as she could until she was supporting herself against the side of the house, vomiting up any hope and will she had in her. Death itself was not gruesome but the act of it was. As her whole body shook, her eyes closed tightly, trying to squeeze out the tears that would not come. Why aren't they coming? Why can't I show that I'm sad?!

She loved Sundra too. Sundra was her Mommy, the one who would hold her tight and make sure she didn't accidentally cut herself while in the kitchen. Sundra would prepare her meals and give her a smile before scooting her off to school, hiding the worry that was already setting in her eyes. How was it that anyone or force or thing could let her sister grow so old so fast? Europa still remembered a time when Sundra was quiet, soft-spoken, usually letting Storm take the first step. But Storm's death changed something in her sister, something Europa never expected. If there was a way to describe it, she would have thought that Sundra was trying to make up for Storm's loss, picking up all the pieces that her brother had left. And it must have been affecting Sundra much more than she let up.

Was Europa supposed to do that now? Was she supposed to be the parent now? But it wouldn't have been the same anyway. In Io's mind, Storm and Sundra were still Daddy and Mommy and Europa would always be the sister. She couldn't take over as the caretaker, not after all those years of being raised by her older siblings. So what was Europa supposed to do? She didn't even know how her nine-year-old sister was feeling. That was the trouble they always had, trying to connect with each other. Europa always spent her time tagging along with Storm; Io always seemed to cling to Sundra more. Europa didn't know if Io remembered much about Storm, but she had a feeling that Io was hurting from watching Sundra's death. But what was she supposed to do? Go up to her little sister and hug her like Sundra had when Storm had died? But Io was still young and there was no doubt she was hysterical. Europa never could figure out how to calm the wild baby of the family; it was something she always left to Sundra. Sundra knew Io back and forth, up and down. Sundra would always be the one to calm Io's tantrums. That was how it always worked.

She had to run away. She had to run as far away from the house as possible. Always sadness, always despair. She would have thought it would have improved over two years, but there was no way they could keep moving forward at that point; the household only knew how to move back. So Europa would have to break free. She would have to be independent from that house, because she refused to let the house drag her down with it. She was sure Io and Father and Mother could find their way out, but in case they didn't, they wouldn’t be able to take Europa with them. Not anymore.

Without leaving herself a moment to regret her decision, she ran. She moved her legs as if she was running in a marathon or in cruel irony, as if she was running away from a tribute in the Games. It was her fate after all: running until they finally caught up.