When The Pain Hits Home-Open
Feb 18, 2012 23:47:09 GMT -5
Post by sierra on Feb 18, 2012 23:47:09 GMT -5
[img src="http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=28507475
"]I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said,
Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight...
I didn't know what to think about today. It was an odd dilemma, this not knowing. I had used to be the girl of so many words...so many feelings. Now, sometimes I wished I never felt at all. I walked out to the pasture, for a moment staring at our horse's. It was true, we owned one of the largest farm's and stable's in District 4 but, it still felt so small to me. I leaned my hand against the black fence, feeling its rough surface scrape my skin. It reminded me of before...when I had tried so long ago to end it all. As if sniffing out the pain before it really took over would help. As if it would make it better.
I looked up to the main house and didn't see any sign of life in the house. It seems they were out right now. The wind breathed life into my hair, reviving my sense's as I noted the mare rearing into the sky. Her hind leg's danced across the backdrop of the sun. She neighed loudly and her tiny foal raced towards her side. They cantered around the pasture together and I couldn't help wondering why I couldn't be that carefree. Was I really that broken?
I couldn't help but remember when my parent's found me. I walked inside the house to a place full of people and life. Yet, my inside's were like the snow outside...they were blank, unfeeling. As I stepped towards them someone screamed. I didn't understand why, or what right they had too. It wasn't them that was broken. It wasn't them that stood there, blood dripping from the gashes on her face and body. And it certainly wasn't them who passed out, to be woken up in the hospital by some strange Capitol doctor. The tear's slid down my face. And for the first time in a long time I let herself cry...I let myself feel. What did it matter anymore? She had died a long time ago anyway.
