~<The Death and Dawn of Imi Marling>~
Mar 16, 2012 21:50:17 GMT -5
Post by Ally is tentatively back on Mar 16, 2012 21:50:17 GMT -5
This isn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to grow old. She was supposed to live. She was supposed to get married. Supposed to have kids. Not supposed to die before me, in a cold arena being held by the stranger who took her away. Ink isn't erasable, it's so much more permanent than graphite, it's why I always write in pen.
It's why I've always loved her name. It made her more permanent.
But no, now her dying eyes are haunting me, and my only comfort is that I'll see her soon. And I hope it doesn't matter that she told me not to do this. Ripred willing. She'll understand, and she'll hug me, and whisper that she knows, because she's the only one who would.
The most surprising thing is that I don't feel anything.
(I see them taking my body away, taking off my bracelet -I left a note on it, that my parents should send it to that bar we went to... That they should send it to Luke. But of course, I didn't tell them that. Just that it had to go to the bar. The bartender seemed like a good guy, he'll give it to it's rightful owner.)
And then I fly.
[/color]It's why I've always loved her name. It made her more permanent.
I leave the gas on,
Walk the alleys in the dark.
Sleep with candles burning,
I leave the door unlocked...
Walk the alleys in the dark.
Sleep with candles burning,
I leave the door unlocked...
But no, now her dying eyes are haunting me, and my only comfort is that I'll see her soon. And I hope it doesn't matter that she told me not to do this. Ripred willing. She'll understand, and she'll hug me, and whisper that she knows, because she's the only one who would.
The most surprising thing is that I don't feel anything.
(I see them taking my body away, taking off my bracelet -I left a note on it, that my parents should send it to that bar we went to... That they should send it to Luke. But of course, I didn't tell them that. Just that it had to go to the bar. The bartender seemed like a good guy, he'll give it to it's rightful owner.)
And then I fly.
I'm weaving a rope and,
Running all the red lights.
Did I get your attention?
'Cause I'm sending all the signs that
Running all the red lights.
Did I get your attention?
'Cause I'm sending all the signs that
I linger long enough for the news. See it hit my parents, who burn a picture of me and Ink when we were maybe five years old, with a stick of cinnamon and a sprig of lavender.
And dear Ripred, if that isn't just so us...
I watch my mother collapse in tears, watch my father hold her so tight. But silvery tears drip down his cheeks. They've just lost their last child. They won't recover from this. But I'm flying, and it can't hurt me.
I'll be with Ink soon, so it can't hurt me.
The clock is ticking,
And I'll be giving my two weeks.
Pick your favorite shade of black...
And you'd best prepare a speech
[/color]And I'll be giving my two weeks.
Pick your favorite shade of black...
And you'd best prepare a speech
(And yes, on my final adventure, I have to see Luke. I have to. It's so good to see him, and to know how flying feels, to tell him how wonderful, to tell him I'm so sleepy.)
I see it hit Luke, and I think the pain from my death must be catching up with me.
(And of course, he has to know I love him.)
He's just sitting there, hard liquor in one hand, bag of white powder on the table... My bracelet in the other hand. The TV's off, and I realize that I wasn't the only one only watching for Ink.
Ripred, Lukey please don't...
"Stay alive for us. Don't forget us." I whisper to him, brushing the back of his neck with my fingertips. Words hit me... I want to sing to my big brother one last time. "I don't know much, about, classic cars... But I gotta lot of friends, stuck on classic coke... Huh, Lukey?" And hell, I don't even know if he can hear me. But he puts the liquor down and I whisper my thanks...
...And then I keep going.
Say something funny.
Say something sweet.
But don't say that you loved me...
[/color]Say something sweet.
But don't say that you loved me...
I never imagined death like this. A misty forest, the trees so tall, the ground bare of leaves, of grass, of anything but soft dirt that squishes in my toes.
My feet are bare, and I'm wearing a black dress that flows around me. It feels liquid and soft and wonderful and it clings where I want and billows where I don't. And I'm just so sleepy, I sit on the dirt...
I'm still breathing,
But we've been dead for a while.
This sickness has no cure!
We're going down for sure!
Already lost our grip,
Best abandon ship...
[/color]But we've been dead for a while.
This sickness has no cure!
We're going down for sure!
Already lost our grip,
Best abandon ship...
But a voice calls me, tells me not to get lost, tells me to come... But it's not the words. It's the voice. That voice I love so much. That voice I need...
I run like I've never run before.
And suddenly I'm out of the forest... I'm on a beach... I run into strong, warm, sure arms that speak of home, safe, love, peace.
So as I write this letter,
And shed my last tear...
Know it's all for the better,
That we end this here.
[/color]And shed my last tear...
Know it's all for the better,
That we end this here.
Ink chuckles a little and kisses my hair. "I thought I told you not to do anything stupid." She whispers.
I bury my face in her chest, the fabric of her dress -I've just noticed that it's just like mine- and sob. "I thought I begged you not to leave me again." I gasp out.
Let's close this chapter,
Say one last prayer...
But don't say that you loved me...
[/color]Say one last prayer...
But don't say that you loved me...
And then we're just kneeling there, sobbing into each other like after the worst nightmares...
...And we shimmer a bit.
We're five years old and dressed all in white, and there are flowers in Ink's hair like I always liked to put there, and I whisper, softly, "Lead me through?"
And she nods... So we get up.
I'm still breathing...
Though we've been dead for a while.
This sickness has no cure!
We're going down for sure!
Oh we've been diagnosed,
So let's give up the ghost!
[/color]Though we've been dead for a while.
This sickness has no cure!
We're going down for sure!
Oh we've been diagnosed,
So let's give up the ghost!
We walk slowly forward, into the curtain...
And then everything is white light and nothing can ever hurt us again, and my last sight, my last remnant of this life, is Ink going back to fifteen, but still with that flower crown, and she smiles at me like we just conquered the world.
[/size][/justify]
