If a Tree Falls [Axel]
Feb 10, 2012 20:01:00 GMT -5
Post by Kyalee on Feb 10, 2012 20:01:00 GMT -5
Dusk starred at Trench, eyes still sad. He was trying to prove to her he could take care of her and her siblings. But could he really? It must be a thing of fantasy then, that he could actually support her family in any small degree. Maybe this was a fantasy, just a dream. Maybe she was just dreaming in her cold little cot at home, snuggled between Coy and April, with Evangaline on her chest. Maybe things as good as this only happened in dreams.
Her face lightened, but only slightly as she thought of this, and as he said he wouldn't have gotten into this if he knew he couldn't support her, and her siblings. Dusk knew though, knew how much a baby costs. Evangaline used to cost more than two of her siblings, with the diapers and such until she was potty trained. But they had taught her young, so they could have enough food. Suddenly though, Dusk was pulled harshly away from her thoughts and daydreams as a word came out of Trench's mouth, and as he wrapped his warm arms around her again. The word though, was what brought her away the most.
My mother[/color]
He said he could tell Dusk blamed herself for her death. His words sliced her open, and the sadness came through before she could put a shield up to stop it. But she did stop the tears from rolling like lava down her hot cheeks, only so she could talk when he was done, and not just mutter inaudible mumers. But her heart suddenly lit aflame, as he spoke of how disapointed her mother would be. In her stealing, in her doing bad things. And her shield broke apart, bit by bit as a deep part of her she had lodged down into the wedge of her brain long ago surfaced. It was something called right and wrong. Something that told you what was mean, and what you probably should be doing. Not stealing, not breaking rules, not taking advantage of others. But what was right and wrong when you are only trying to survive?
For some reason, while all this emotion was swimming through her body wildly, and breaking every inch of shield she had left, she looked... Well calm, at peace somehow. Like some cloud had cleared, but for some reason she also felt like she was being too emotion about the simplest of things. Why was she breaking down just because he spoke of her mother? Why was she realizing how "bad" stealing was now? But maybe it was just because all these emotions had been stored, and were now being let lose from some invisible force she had once controled, but now let go.
Trench went on, about how he wanted to replace her parents, but knew he could never. How her mother would want her to accept help, and blah blah blah. She was even going to interupt him, but let him finish, and finally spoke after all her emotions had been let out through a simple breath.
"Trench.... Everything I know you said is true. I know..[/color]
Her voice cracked, even though she got all her emotion out. She simply took another breath, and tried again.
"I know almost everything you said was true. My mother... Well she probably is frowning down at me, where ever she is. I've done more bad things than I care to count, from stealing a chicken to pickpocketing a peacekeeper. Your right, I shouldn't have been in the situation I am in, but fate put me here. But, there is one thing where you were wrong. You could easily replace my parents. Its not like I would forget my mother, but I definately need a man in my house."[/color]
Dusk hoped in her entire soul she was making sense. Her brain was befuddled, screwed up in the most bizzar way.
"If that makes sense.... I've known since my mother died that I'm just not fit for the job of taking care of all my siblings and stuff."[/color]
She sighed, took another breath before continuing, and started to speak again.
"I'm sorry I've been so stubborn. I just don't want to put my weight on you, when you have a baby coming, and I don't want you to regret helping me. By the way... I hit a deer."[/b]
She laughed a akward laugh, one filled with a tiny bit of sadness that filled the whole laugh. Dusk ended up just starring at Trench unresponsively after that though, like the emotion bomb that had been set off had left her impassively numb.[/size]
Word Count: 772
Mood: Its Complicated
Outfit: Here
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