never can say goodbye// [blitz! nofo!]

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Knock knock. The sound cut the silence like a knife through butter. Nobody ever came to my house really. I mean, I have only lived in this house for a few weeks now and so I can't really say that nobody ever comes to visit. So far though, only my eyes have seen the inside. Not even my mother has made the short trip over here to see where her son is living. Could it be Edana? For some reason, I highly doubted that. She was probably way too involved with her family to even think about me. After all, I wasn't that special and she also had far more important things to worry about. Avon. Her face lingered in my mind. Meeting her was brief and cut short as we began to talk as a group around that time but I still remembered the look in her eyes. And now, that look would be seen by the whole world.

She had been reaped for the Quell. Being reaped sucks enough as it is but with the new twist that has only made things worse, she's fighting the odds even more now. How could Edana live through that kind of thing? Lucky for her, she has a lot of family who are going through the same thing and who she can feel the pain with. I don't even know what I'd do if I was in that situation. What if somebody I loved was sent to their death and all I could do was watch on as if it was nothing? The only two people that came to mind were Edana and my mother. My mum would be safe for the rest of her life so I really didn't have to worry about her. But what if Edana had been reaped? What would I have done then? Something tells me I'd be breaking down at the very least.

Making my way towards the door, I fixed the collar of my button up shirt. My hair was a little messier than usual today as I really didn't expect any guests. Wrapping my hand around the doorknob, I prepared to welcome whoever was at my door. Please be her. Please be Edana. And then I pulled it open and peered out at the beautiful blonde girl who was standing before me. "H-hey!" Nice job, idiot. You can't even pronounce your words right. It didn't matter. Edana was here. She actually had the time for me. And that one thought sent my stomach in circles to the point where I felt a little ill. But the dopey smile on my face surely showed her how happy I was to see her.

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Cute. Have I said that before? For some reason I feel like saying it once really doesn't capture how she actually is. Edana Lightwood is like a stuffed animal. I know it sounds funny but hear me out. She's one of those people that you would always love to have around and she's definitely really adorable. Plus, hugging her is amazing. Maybe that's just me. Maybe it's the warmth in my chest and stomach that makes being around her so amazing. Or maybe she's a giant stuffed animal that I have the pleasure of meeting. Great, now I'll always picture her as a stuffed animal. That only adds to my smile as I watch her. Her words were always so perfect and worded just right. Was there anything about her that wasn't awesome?

"Here, come in. It's warm." Stepping to the side slightly, I peeked around the door to ensure that she made it in alright. Dude, she probably, like, friend zoned you a while ago. You should get used to that now. "And no, not a bad time at all. I'm so happy to see you. I, uh, kind of missed you." So now I was blushing. Smart thinking. One point for Clayton, yeah? Still smiling as I looked down at my feet, I cleared my throat to speak again. Everything was so easy with Edana. Maybe that's why I felt the way I did. What I felt was still to be determined but I knew there was something. There had to be or else I wouldn't feel like taking on the world whenever I saw her. She was everything I've ever wanted and more. How could I not like her?

"I've been well. Just settling in to living here." I motioned towards the rest of the main room with my hand, keeping my eyes locked on her. The house may not be the biggest but it certainly wasn't bad. And it costed an arm and a leg, practically. The man was kind of an arrogant ass and he kept talking about how he needed the money to pay for his own house too. It seems like all the officials of District One are jerks. "How about you? How have you been?" How are you doing since Avon was reaped? I wanted to ask that but it would probably be too straight forward. She'd understand my question, hopefully. And if not, I'd get around to it eventually. I wanted to know how she was feeling to figure out how I could help.

"Do you want something to drink? I probably have something around here. Like water. Or more water. Maybe some hot chocolate that I stole from my mother."

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Following her with my eyes, I listened to every word she said. "I've missed you too." The whole sentence hit me like a train and it brought another smile to my face. Don't get too ahead of yourself. She can miss a friend, man. It was hard to not notice the blush that had formed on her cheeks though. It was just as hard to believe that in some way, it was because of me. Maybe she's embarrassed because you look like you just woke up. Or worse. This lead me to run my hand through my hair and to fix my collar again. Her compliments to the house were just fillers to the conversation and I thanked her with a smile. "Yeah, it's not bad. A little empty but I'll get used to it." You'll be getting real used to being alone.

"I've been alright. It's been tough. Mom's adopting." I nodded slowly, understanding why it would be tough. She probably didn't want to talk about the subject. Maybe that's why she came here. Maybe she wanted to leave a house that was so focused on Avon. I might be a break from all of that. That's all you are. Somebody she can get away to so she can take a break. It made sense, actually. She was so beautiful and while I wasn't the ugliest person around here, I definitely wasn't the best looking. She could do so much better so why would she even be interested in me? It was simple. She wasn't. She wouldn't ever be. Edana surely knew that she deserved the world and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't give it to her. Money wasn't an issue but there was still so much more that she might want. What if I couldn't give it?

"How did you get your leg?" And that was my sensitive topic. Maybe she didn't feel like talking about Avon or about other things. Well, my leg was the equivalent to her Avon. It wasn't that I didn't like talking about having a prosthetic leg. That wasn't the issue. The issue was thinking about my father. "Good question. I'd like to know the answer to that too." Lie. Maybe she'll believe me though. That's the only thing I care about now. I don't feel like having to explain it all. "I just woke up in the hospital and it was gone. Doctor's said something about needing to amputate it." I shrugged and then glanced towards her leg. She was the same as me. We both had to go through life with a "disadvantage" according to others. "How about you?"

I wanted to tell her how I felt. Maybe she'd feel the same way and we could actually be together. There was tension between us. I could tell it was something. Making small talk wouldn't last forever. Would she be weirded out if she didn't feel the same way, though? Would I lose the closest thing that I had to a friend at this point? It was worth the risk but I wasn't sure if I was even ready to at this point. Who knows. The conversation could lead to it. And then I'd figure out whether or not Edana felt the same way I did.

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Good. She didn't question the obvious lie. I could tell her and show that I trusted her more than anything but we really didn't need to talk about depressing things. "Heh, well it's not so bad now that I'm used to it." Grinning, I looked back up into the eyes of the girl. It's so easy to lose yourself in the beauty of them. Every other thought in my head seemed to just disappear and all that mattered was her. Tunnel vision, kind of. All the things around me blurred away and the only thing that remained crystal clear was Edana Lightwood. Those eyes seemed to pull me in almost as much as the soft curve of her lips and how incredibly amazing her smile was. I could, without a doubt, just look at her for hours and be perfectly content. But that was kind of creepy. So I looked away for a brief moment to still be normal.

"You're still stunning." I nearly whisper cause my voice seemed to crack and disappear. Still, it's probably loud enough for her to hear. "I mean, I think you're beautiful no matter what." Shrugging my shoulders, I looked away. Don't look into her eyes, Clayton. You know that you'll get lost in them again. "It's pretty damn awesome, yeah." Making my way towards the small kitchen, I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Bringing it out to her, I offered it towards her with a smile. Then I moved over towards the chair and the couch that I had had brought in the other day. Motioning towards the couch, my eyes pointed back in her direction. I wouldn't sit down in the chair until she was seated. That was respectful, right?

"I really didn't get a chance to thank you for inviting me to your house." Meeting her family was pretty awesome, even if all of them had their own quirks and traits. Some of them were really whacked out but, hey, families weren't always going to be perfect. It was pretty awesome to spend some time with Edana, let alone to spend some time with the ones she held close to her heart. That gave me hope, you know. Maybe she actually did have some feelings for me and she wanted the rest of the family to get to know me before saying anything? I was just speculating a lot now. It would be better to just wait and see where the day went. If it didn't go in the direction I wanted it to, I'd still live life normally. And if it did, I'd be the happiest guy alive. "I really appreciated it. Spending more time with you was amazing."

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Let me tell you a story. Now, it may seem a little off topic but in my head, it makes sense. Then again, most things that make sense in my head don't make sense out of it. Anyways, there was once this fierce warrior who was stronger than every other man who had walked the earth. His sword could cut rock and his fingers could break bones. No matter how strong and tough the man was, he would never win his true prize. Sure, it was nice to get lots of gold and a lot of attention from the princesses and queens. And yet, this warrior had a love for one thing and one thing only. He loved flowers. Flowers of all colours and all kinds would attract his attention and he wished more than anything to make his own garden one day.

But the man had giant fingers. Did I not mention that earlier? Well, his fingers were really big and that's how he was able to break bones and stuff. The warrior was stronger than any living soul and yet he couldn't pursue the thing he loved. So he travelled across a deserted wasteland for twelve days, searching for something that could help him with his love for flowers. And that's when he found the evil witch who lived in the tower made of dragon teeth. She was kind of crazy and her cackling could be heard from miles a way through the form of a lightning storm. No rain fell upon the barren land but the crackling and the blinding lights were definitely present. So the man made his way up the tower and burst into her main room.

"I want to be small again." That was his one wish. And with a swish of her wand and a weird gesture over her cauldron, the man found himself shrinking and shrinking until he was back to his normal size. But alas, that normal size was the reason why he had become so giant in the first place. Only measuring up to an inch at the most, the fearless warrior was now barely able to reach the first leaf on most plants. "You tricked me, nasty witch, and now you have broken my heart. Please restore my height and let me have another start." Of course, he really didn't have to speak in rhyme but all stories have a bit of rhyming in it. So, oh well, it doesn't matter. Anyways, as I was explaining, the tiny man wanted to become large again.

The process continued for hours on end as the witch switched him from huge to really small. No matter what happened, the man had something wrong. Finally, he found the words to get what he wanted. "Dearest witch, you see, I'm not as you think. Flowers are my love whether they're yellow, red, white, purple or pink. Please make me a size that is suitably fair so I can fulfil my dreams with love and with care. All I ever want to love for the rest of my life are the flowers." And with that, the man was transformed into a normal size, standing just slightly taller than the witch. "Your wish is granted good sir, you see. Now leave this tower and be rid of me." With a swish and a flick and a dooble do da, the witch was gone and in replacement of her was a frog. The frog hopped away, leaving the man alone. And so, he scaled down the tower and returned home.

His very first goal was to find a flower to grow. So he took the seeds and he bought a hoe. Then he worked every day and he worked every night until his flower was the most beautiful thing in his sight. He loved it with every bit of him that he could and he felt proud that, finally, he had done what he wished to do. So he started a show and showed off his flower, beginning to grow more so he could continue forever. And I know that you're probably wondering what the point of the story is but don't worry, it's coming. I thought the same thing when I first heard it. Then again, I was young so any story was interesting to me. Back to the story though.

The man's life had remained this way for years and years. He believed that he had found happiness. But then he realized that he needed somebody to settle down with. Still, no matter how hard he tried, the man couldn't find somebody who interested him. All he saw were his flowers and his plants. So the man died, alone and afraid of living his next life the same way. And once the next life came around, he indeed lived it without a wife and without friends. All he saw were his flowers and his plants. This continued on for many lifetimes and the man had nearly given up on finding a wife. Then one day, he saw a woman whose eyes were as bright as yellow tulips and whose hair was as red as the colour of the roses.

She made her way to the man and leaned really close, bringing her lips to his ears. He was young and handsome in this lifetime and many girls were attracted to him. But he couldn't find the love for them. Her voice was cold and it caused him to remember a time long ago that never really existed in his life. The words she mumbled had unlocked a part of his memory from a past life and he was now remembering his request of the witch. "I granted your wish, good sir, don't you remember? I'm sorry that it's ruined your life. Now don't hate me for your foolish mistake that has costed you love and a wife." And with that the man realized that no matter how hard he'd try, he would always have something he'd want. But something would stand in the way and keep him from finding that one thing that would make his life perfect. The man was lost in this realization and he'd remember it from then on, forever. No matter what was happening, the man would always have a weakness and that weakness would prevent him from living happily.

Alright, so if you're completely lost, let me explain. That story meant nothing to me when I first heard it. My father had said it before he became a huge ass and I just listened, eagerly waiting for the happy ending. And then it never came. But he explained that my mother was his flower. She was his weakness and she was what prevented him from living his dreams out. That was obviously a joke and his laugh helped prove it. Then he explained some more. Whenever he looked into the eyes of my mother, he would find himself lost. He'd lose all of his previous thoughts and he'd forget about everything. Sound a little familiar? Yeah, that's the connection I was starting to make. The man had a weakness for flowers and they eventually prevented him from getting married. My father had a weakness for her eyes and he could never pursue his dream to open his business.

And now I was finding out that my weakness was Edana Lightwood. Her eyes and her lips and her hair were so perfect. What would she prevent me from doing? Maybe I was so caught up in how perfect she was that I really didn't realize that she could feel the same way. She was looking at me differently and I felt the tension between us. There was something here. Something strong, right? "I'm glad they liked me. Your family is really awesome. But the best part was you." What are you doing, man? I really didn't know what I was saying any more. Was I going to end up telling her how I felt? I had to. That was the only option now. The necklace that I had bought, originally for my mother a long while ago, popped into my mind and I remembered that it was packed away in a box. My mother didn't need it. The green wouldn't match her eyes like they'd match Edana's. "Edana? Uh, I have something I need to ask you."