Qilena Zwarck {D4}

Play me down my lover/Like we're undercover
Like we're in a fresh veneer/Like all the girls and boys in school

Q I L E N A - E M I L I A N A - Z W A R C K




{ female }
{ 22 years of age }
{ born and raised in District 4 }
{ Homosexual }

~~~

Our anticipation
And our bad behaving
It's like we learned our lesson
But conveniently forgot the rules

Qilena Zwark is about 5'11", towering her above many females of District 4. Perhaps some would think that the girl would use this to her advantage - intimidating others may have led to an increase in the social ladder. But Qilena was never really extremely interested in joining the Queen Bees and Jocks on their little wobbly stepladder of dominance. Instead, she never even attempted to use her height as a factor at all. This doesn't stop people from noticing her, but it lessens the threatening aura that many ambitious careers may have had in District 4.

She weighs in at 146 lbs, which is a pretty healthy weight for a girl of her height. She eats regularly and exercises on a daily basis. Since fishing does require use of the muscles at times (for instance, catching an extremely large fish would not only require using the equipment skillfully, but some brute force as well), exercising would be beneficial for her job, so she does this often. The girl not only lifts weights, but runs all around the District when she has enough time; mainly at night.

The skin has a light tan. However, it sunburns very easily, causing her to not only look a little lobster-like at times, but to peel often. It is not surprising to take a look at this girl's shoulders and see the skin just peeling off. She owns no lotion at this point - she's a bit too poor to do so. But she attempts to ignore the itching that the burnt skin causes, and hopes that she does not get UV poisoning, or something of the sort. The fact that she is almost always on a boat in the sweltering sun however, makes it very hard to ignore this plight. It is also dotted with many freckles and moles, many of which are raised and dark colored.

Her hair is long and wavy. The locks dangle to and fro, finally ending just past her shoulder blades. Normally, the hair is tied into a curly ponytail, but on special occasions the hair is let down, the strands free to roam about wherever they choose. In this sense, her hair sometimes looks rather frizzy - especially when it is particularly humid. The fact that she hails from District 4 accentuates this, for her hair tends to be frizzy almost all the time. The hair itself is a golden-blond shade, with natural darker highlights scattered about. They aren't very noticeable though.

Qilena's eyes are fairly large. They are slightly rotated, and are angled as well, giving the appearance of a typical "sly" person. Her "Angry Looking Eyes" give off the impression of mischievousness, for it is almost always paired with a beaming smile. The eyes themselves are a bright green color, similar to one of those precious stones mined in District 1. They are slightly on the bluer side of the green spectrum, and are freckled with darker blemishes of dark green. Her eyes tend to be a bit bloodshot, for she doesn't spend much time sleeping; too much time is spent sailing out into the open sea, making sure that she reaches her fishing quota in time. One of her pastimes while out at sea is reading - therefore, she has very bad vision from reading too much in inadequate light.

The nose is fairly large, and is pointed downwards. Her nostrils are well-defined, and the bridge is pretty wide. She doesn't pay attention to her nose - it is simply something that you need to use in order to breathe, or express yourself. You see, there is a nose-piercing in her left nostril. It's a simple, circular, silver stud, able to be removed when she really doesn't want to wear it.

Her mouth is normally chapped and dry, with dry blood caking onto it. She would of course, attempt to make her lips look healthier if she had the money to buy a "magical healing lotion stick thing", but she just doesn't make enough money to do so. Therefore, she ends up licking her lips in an effort to calm the ravaging earthquake that she calls her mouth. It doesn't help, actually it does the exact opposite, making her lips even drier the next time they crack.

Her muscles are well defined, especially because this former Career has continued her training by exercising daily. Aforementioned facts state that she runs daily, and practices in other ways, such as lifting weights, doing push-ups and crunches. Her body has become toned, the muscles slightly visible once they're looked at at a glance.

Questions for questions, I've got a question
Would you ever dance with me like that?
Questions for questions, I've got a question
Would you ever dance with me like that?

The first thing anyone will notice about Qilena is that she's surprisingly relaxed. She tends to go with the flow with most things, not really caring what happens if it doesn't affect her economically. Perhaps people believe that she's always high. True, she does take the occasional hit of drugs, but that's only during special occasions, like weddings, parties, etc. Yes, the girl does like her drugs, which range from mushrooms to plain alcohol.

Therefore, she is able to be found at many parties. Having a lot of friends, the girl does seem to be a little out of it sometimes, for getting hangovers frequently can do that to a person. She doesn't necessarily classify herself as an "alcoholic", per say, or a "druggie", but she's pretty damn close. She does attempt to control her habits, but it doesn't always work.

After these kinds of events, she tends to freak out at the exorbitant price of said entertainment. Drugs cost money, but she almost never seems to have enough to stay out of debt. She's hounded by drug dealers, and constantly brings something that can be used as a club in case somebody tries to kill her. Her paranoia can get the best of her at times, causing her to snap and yell, or slap someone. Even the occasional punch in the face will suffice for the woman.

When she's not partying however, she's exercising and working - after all, all play and no work makes Jack an idiot. Or something (she gets terms mixed up when drunk/high). She exercises daily, and fishes for her meals and for work hours on end. Sometimes, she gets up at dawn, and goes to sleep for merely an hour the next day - she feels that fish bite more when there's no competition, so she makes sure to set up her fishing boat either really early, or really late. Success may vary - sometimes the fish bite, sometimes they don't.

This odd combination of debt and workaholic-ism has created an extremely desperate girl. She's desperate to survive until the next day. She's desperate to figure out how to make everyone happy; her friends, the drug dealers, herself - she wants, no, needs to find a way to make everyone happy in the end, or she feels unaccomplished.

This OCD kind of thinking, paired off with her desperate feelings create a nervous wreck. It's taken a toll on her nerves, which are basically shot all day long. She easily becomes angered, jumpy and scared. Once thrown into one of her "fits", even the slightest sound will set her off, causing a shrieking, flailing girl to appear, wielding a weapon of some sort. After a while, she calms down, but she feels extremely guilty about exposing this kind of personality to everybody else.

She truly cares about people, and how she looks in front of them. She doesn't want to seem extremely crazy or anything, for she has no idea about how they would react. Perhaps they would find the traits endearing, or maybe they would stay away from her. In this sense, she tends to stay alone when sober, for she becomes a tad bit insecure when not using some type of crutch.

This has caused her to become a tad bit depressed as well. She doesn't understand why and how her life as spiraled down into a jumble of dancing, drugs, sex and alcohol. Sometimes, the girl just wishes that her problems could go away, with death being one of the easier options. She has attempted to kill herself once, and still hasn't emerged whole from that entire experience. In fact, on particularly bad days, she wonders how she would feel if she were to try again. After all, just one more time would do the trick. Or two, maybe three, tops.

She masks these feelings however, in a layer of happiness and laughter. Many people would not even be able to discern the difference between a regular, not depressed person and Qilena. This fact could be a bit horrifying, for many might be shocked if she actually gives into her internal desires and kicks the bucket on her own terms. She acts energetic and optimistic in front of her peers, not wanting to reveal her true self in front of most of them. She feels that this would scare them perhaps, to see her in such a reckless, dangerous phase.

I don't want your lover
Like my younger brother
He's patronized another
But I think it's serious this time

Lana and Malcolm had met on the pier. It had been one of their ordinary dates - he would bring a picnic blanket and some silverware, she would bring some food, sneak a bottle or two of wine out of the house. However, this time the beverages were nowhere to be found, and the girl had a sad, worried expression on her face. The boy hadn't noticed for a while, until he saw that she was merely picking at her small morsels of food. Gesturing for her to eat more, he finally noticed the emotion written all over her body.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"... I'm... pregnant."

Thus began the turmoil of hiding this fact from their parents. They attempted to blame eating habits and less activity on Lana's growing belly, but eventually their parents realized that this kind of belly was not due to overindulgence. Well, it was, but not in the sense of food. Lana was kicked out of her home, and Malcolm, not wanting to see his childhood sweetheart live alone, moved out as well. Besides, it was his child, and he was supposed to help his girlfriend make end's meet.

Nine months later, and Qilena was born. Named after both mothers: Elena and Qilna, Qilena grew to become a bubbly, happy-go-lucky child who simply did not notice the dwindling health of her parents. You see, both of them were addicted to different kinds of drugs: Her mother became an alcoholic, while her father went scrounging about the District in search of drug dealers. Eventually, the two of them were wanted by dangerous criminals, and they planned their escape quickly, without caution.

It was dark when the trio planned their escape. Their mission was to escape the District with their lives intact. Quietly, the three of them left their ramshackle of an apartment building, and quickly headed towards the boat. You see, Malcolm's parents owned a few boats, and had forgotten to reposes the key from the boy when he left the house. However, the motor was loud. The dealers had already been high for a while, but when they heard a loud motor running in the middle of the night, they decided to investigate.

A few shots rang out. Malcolm and Qilena dived onto the floor, the latter crying from sheer fear. However, the toddler was not the one who had been shot at. Both turned to look at Lana, who simply stood there, staring at the gunshot wound in her chest. Then, without a word, she fell backwards, into the ocean.

SPLASH!

Malcolm was sent to the Capitol, his tongue cut off from attempting to flee the district. Perhaps he would remember his daughter while he was working in the sewers, but all that had been on his mind at the time was the death of his beloved wife. In fact, he didn't remember that Qilena had been with the duo until his tongue was being cut off. Her name was his last words.

Qilena grew up in the orphanage, quickly gaining popularity with her somewhat less happy-go-lucky behavior. She still didn't understand why her parents had left, but she decided to simply let go, and move on with her life. By the time she was the age of 12, she had already been going to the Training Center for daily exercise and practice, on the off chance that she was reaped.

Years flew by. She became known as "the slut". Traveling to many parties, she easily became drunk out of her mind - perhaps her mother's addiction had been passed onto daughter. She found herself trying new things, like different types of drugs. One morning, she found herself waking up in the bed of her next-door-neighbor.

It didn't help that the two hated each other. Quickly, she left before the other girl noticed, but it sparked her interest in other females. She's only told one person about this event. Lucan Hale. Lucan and her became good friends during school, where they would tell each other many things about each other's lives. She trusts him wholeheartedly, and tells him absolutely everything, from her suicidal thoughts to her same-sex adventures. Perhaps he listens, perhaps not. But having someone to vent to was, and still is very important to the girl.

After scraping by the reaping without any fatal casualties, she embarked on a journey to start her own fishing company. She bought a boat and some equipment, and soon she was fishing for hours on end. However, this didn't work so well, for she quickly realized that she was spending way too much money on drugs and alcohol to actually survive until old age swept her away. Becoming increasingly worried that people were going to storm in and arrest her, she began to have nightmares involving three people, one boat, and two gunshots.

SPLASH.

A viscous cycle had begun: Wake up, work, drink, get high, have nightmares. She hated it. She had to get out.

A handful of drugs - that's all that it would take for her to escape. So with a deep breath, she decided to do it. It didn't really work however, for she chickened out at the last second, but enough drugs entered her system to knock her out instead. After coming to, she resolved not to try that again - she had too many years to live without wasting them halfhazardly.

But the cycle still continued, and to this day, she wonders what would happen if she were to just...

Get out.

I don't want you fading
Acting like you hate me
It's just like all your paper cuts
They cut you in the coldest spots

<img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/16h2ibt.png">

Questions for questions, I've got a question
Would you ever dance with me like that?
Questions for questions, I've got a question
Would you ever dance with me like that?

THINKING/LIVING - aa5544
SPEAKING - ddbb99
FLASHBACK - 778855
LYRICS - cc9966

Fuck all the rest and forget the rules
Like all the girls and boys in my school

Qilena Zwarck is played by Ms. Viktoriya Sasonkina

Questions for questions, I've got a question
Would you ever dance with me like that?
embodiment of breaking point