Jason Haddox Wanderer

My hair is a natural brown that is sunkissed by the sun. I have light blue eyes framed by long brown lashes. I have thick dark eyebrows that are just hardly visible through my hair. I've been growing it out, it curls at my ears. I have an oval shaped face.
I am 5'5" and average sized for a boy my age. I'm in shape but I wouldn't say I have a lot of muscle or anything. My teeth are straight and white, and everyone tells me that I have a great smile. I'm a happy person so I smile a lot.

Jeans and a T-shirt are what I usually wear, there isn't much of a variation from day to day, unless it's colder, then I usually wear a long sleeved shirt or something along those lines. I've been working on growing a beard, but I haven't had a whole lot of success with that.

I've started working with my dad a little on his boat, catching fish, cleaning them. I actually don't go on the boat too much because I get sea sick. I know it's pathetic, I grew up in District 4 which is all about fishing, but I don't do well out on the water. We figured that out when I was young. So I do a lot of the cleaning, Ma wasn't too thrilled about the idea because of what happened when I was nine but she couldn't really say no. I mean I'm older now, more mature when I was then. Besides this will be the work I go into when I'm older, it's the family business. But anyway ever since I started working with my dad my hands always smell like fish guts, no matter how much I wash them they still smell. I guess that's just the way things are though. Dad's hands always smell like that too. I remember smelling them when I was a kid and I'd sit in his lap after he got home from work.

I'm a postive person. If someone were to describe me in one word it would be cheerful. I'm just a naturally happy person. I see the good in people and I don't judge them. It's just how I've always been. I like being around other people, I like going to school, I like making people smile. If I'm happy I want everyone else to feel that way. I want to share that feeling. I guess you could say I'm a little naive. My ideas and opinions aren't always realisitc.

Even though I can't really go out on the ocean I really like sitting on the beach and watching the waves come in and out or watching it's color change as the sun moves from the horizon. It's peaceful there. But it's also where Luna and I hang out, and that's the biggest reason why I like watching the ocean, because I'm watching it with Luna. That's our place, where we talk, where we used to play when we were kids, it's where we became friends. I like star gazing too. That's doesn't really have anything to do with Luna. There are just so many out there and they're so far away yet they feel so close. It's like magic.

I'm not a very secretive person, what you see is really what you get. Though there is one secret I've been hiding for a long time. I'm in love with Luna. I've kept it a secret because I was afraid of losing our friendship, of her rejecting me. Which she did do. And I thought it would be because I was younger than her, but really it's because she's always seen me as her little brother. Emphasis on the brother part. I'm not just her best friend to her, I'm family.

But I bet the younger part is holding her back too. Which is why I left, why I ran away from the only home I've ever knwon and left them all behind. Not because I'm sulking over Luna's rejection but because I'm not giving up on her yet. I want her to see me differently, I want her to realize that I'm the right guy for her. I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. We've been practically inseperable since we were kids.

But as long as Luna thinks of me as her little brother I'm never going to be able to get her to see any of that. I left so that I could become a man in her eyes, not just a boy. I want to challenge myself and be more than just the nice boy at school, the one who's always smiling. I want to be someone who can take care of Luna. I want her to see that I'm capable of that. So I left the district, and I won't come back until I've become someone Luna can be proud of.

You could say I've had an easy life. I have two parents that love me, a roof over my head, many friends at school. It's ll come very easy to me, I've never really had to work for anything.

I was an only child for about five years, my parents were content with one child. Though I had always wanted a little brother or sister to play with, being an only child was lonely. I never did get my wish, instead I got something better, Luna.

She came to us on what seemed like a normal day, she stood in the road, standing there like she didn't see anything around her. Ma took her in and she stayed with us. No one was looking for her, and we had no idea whos she was. Neither did she.

She was in bad shape, her clothes were a bloody mess, her eye swollen and slightly lighter than the other, and she didn't speak. When I met her it was my first glimps at an imperfect world.

Immediately I wanted to befriend her, play with her. But my mother wouldn't let me, she said I had to let her adjust to living with us first. Because even then I was a little too enthusiastic, loud. So I waited, and waited, until one day I was five and couldn't wait anymore.

Luna had a habit of sitting on the beach. Keeping to herself like always. So when Ma wasn't looking I snuck out of the house and asked if I could sit with her. She didn't talk right away but when she did it was like music to my ears. I think it was then that I began to have feelings for her.

After that we did everything together, we even slept in the same bed. Because Luna would have nightmares and for some reason when I was there she didn't. At this point Luna didn't actually have a name yet. I would call her Moon or Moony, because the color of her blind eye reminded me of the moon. But she didn't actually have a name yet. That wasn't decided until Ma enrolled her in the school. That's when she became Luna Grey, which was kind of like Moon or Moony.

I did well in school, I made lots of friends and okay sometimes I got in trouble because I talked too much. It was the opposite for Luna, she didn't like school, and she didn't have any friends there. I tried to get her to hang out with some people from school but that never really worked out. I guess she was okay with it just being me and her.

When I was nine I was playing around with some of my dad's fishing things, pretending I was him and I accidentally cut Luna's hand. I couldn't forgive myself for a while after that, especially when Luna wasn't even mad. She forgave me right away and then acted like it never happened. When we're sitting on the beach sometimes I look down at her hand next to mine and I trace the white scar there in my mind. I don't want to forget that I hurt Luna because I wasn't careful. I don't want to hurt Luna ever again.

I had decided not to tell her about how I felt until I was fifteen, when I might be seen as more than just a younger brother to her. Besides she was seventeen, soon she'd be done with school and she'd get a job, a new life. I was afraid that if I waited to long she might forget all about me.

I told her on my birthday. We were walking out on the beach and Luna could tell that I needed to tell her something important. I think I scared her when I told her, I think that maybe my confession sent her world in a different direction. And I wonder if maybe now she's looking back on the past and wondering how she couldn't have seen it. How she had been so ignorant of it. Even before Luna had rejected me I knew that if she didn't feel the same, if she didn't see me in that way I would leave.

It was hard. I've never left anything before, I've never been without my family. That night I packed up a few things, some clothes, food, a knife, and a few other essentials, and then I left. I didn't leave them a good-bye note. But it wasn't because I didn't love them, it was because I wasn't saying good-bye, I'm not leaving for good. I'm going to come back someday.

This journey is about one thing and that's Luna. I wish she could see me, for who I really am, for who I want to be and if I have to leave for a little while, to prove myself, to make her see things differently, I will. I just hope she waits for me.