long time no see (zoe)

dakoda zanelli district twelve
s i n k i n g i n s i l e n c e

You wait for a silence, I wait for a word.
Lying next to your frame, girl unobserved.
Why don't you be the artist and make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer, and decide the words I say?

I watched the boy - Geatano, that was his name - dash off into school that morning by the fence. In his rush, he's forgotten to collect his notebook back from my hands, and before I had time to stop him, he'd disappeared into the building. Tucking the notebook in my jacket, hugging it close, I trekked back home and welcomed the warmth that surrounded my body the moment I had shut the door behind me. Spending the day huddled around the small fire in our living room, jacket discarded on the hard wooden floor that I perched on, my eyes travelled over our conversation, hurried handwriting linking letters together like thread to fabric. What's it like being deaf? the boy had written. In my frustration, I hadn't been able to explain - but then an idea struck me right in the middle of my thought process.

Flinging the book down, I raced to my bedroom that I shared with Julo, ducking under the bed to search for my pencil case. Spying it, my arm darted forwards - the other keeping me balanced as I teetered in my odd position - snatching up the bag of pencils and racing back to the living room as fast as my little feet could carry me. If I could not explain in words what being deaf was like, then I would show him in pictures.

Furiously, my hands flipped to a new page in the notebook and began their magic. Painting out my explanation with my pencils, I became lost in an all-consuming world of art and translation. Time passed, ticking away as I worked, no longer mere squiggles and lines to explain my reasons. There was no telling how long I worked; but before I knew it, my Mother was crouching down in front of me with a bowl of soup and a blanket to keep me warm, adjusting the fire so the flames rekindled in their fireplace.

"You've been busy" I managed to make out, returning her smile. I nodded, closing the book and tucking my pencils back into their bag. Smudges of lead now covered the skin of my hands, but I decided to worry about them later as I replaced pencils with the warm bowl and a spoon. My stomach vibrated in hunger, so obediently I fed it. Apparently, it makes a loud noise when you're hungry, but I wouldn't know. Even just to hear that would be wonderful.

dakoda zanelli district twelve
s i n k i n g i n s i l e n c e

Looking for something I've never seen,
Alone and I'm in between.
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in,
A city I've never been.

Watching curiously as Geatano took in my drawings, my fingers twitched nervously. Half of me was anticipating his reaction, but the other half worried over what he'd think. Did I perhaps not explain myself right? Would he not understand at all? My mind whirled, biting my lip anxiously, counting the drawn-out seconds between the movement of his eyes.

He grabbed the pencil off of me - luckily I'd brought it along - and began to scribble down something. Handing the book back to me, this time on a fresh page, I read his words quickly. Those are the most amazing drawings that I have ever seen! I actually think I get how you feel he'd written, and my wide eyes glowed with elation, a grin complimenting my reaction.

Again, he began writing against the paper again, reading his sentence. Do you want to see something cool? Curious, I nodded - but then remembered my siblings. I glanced around behind me at the children and teenagers piling out of the school - not spying them anywhere. A little anxious, I worried that I might miss them coming out of the building - but then realised that they'd probably assume I hadn't come home. Mother would probably worry a little, but I'd spent more and more time out alone recently, gradually getting used to being outdoors by myself. And besides, I wouldn't be completely alone - I had my new friend to go with me.

Turning back, I smiled at Geatano and felt his hand catch mine, leading me on. Following in suit, I trudged along in the snow a little bit behind him, but still at arm's length. It was a little tricky, what with all the build-up of snow to slow us both down, but eventually he led me to a tree in which a ladder was uncovered. Curious as ever, my cold face peeping up to discoverer where it lead. Watching the teenager begin to ascend the ladder, he motioned for me to follow, and I did so - cold hands and chilled fingers gripping the wooden pieces. Up, up, up I went, until I ended up crawling through a hole into a tree-hut right behind Geatano.

Marvelling at the room - I'd never been in a tree-hut before, let alone had one - I almost missed the view from the window. When my eyes caught onto it, I almost gasped in surprise. Almost all of District 12 was visible - the houses, streets, the Hob, even a glimpse of the empty Victors Village - tiny little matching houses all in a row. They'll probably never be filled, anyway - permanently empty. District 12 is famous for many things, but never Victors. Save that stereotype for the Careers, or some lucky kid from another District who's smart enough to keep their head down and stay alive. Right now, the entirety of Twelve was covered in snow - iced like sugar-coated treats in a bakery my family could never afford. I'd gaze out at both the snowy hills and the fancy little pastries from windows, wishing I could experience both. The Victors Village looks right cozy around this time - but I know I'll never get there. The Seam is where I was born, and at this rate, where I'll die, too.

Pulling my legs up underneath me in an attempt to keep a little warmer, I smiled at Geatano, grabbing the book and pencil that he handed back me. It's lovely, up here, I scrawl. Beautiful.

I found a friend or should I say foe,
Said there's a few things you should know.
We don't want you to see, we come and we go,
Here today, gone tomorrow.

dakoda zanelli district twelve
s i n k i n g i n s i l e n c e

There's a drumming noise inside my head,
That throws me to the ground.
I swear that you should hear it,
It makes such an all mighty sound.

Shivering, I gratefully accepted the jacket that Geatano offered me, wrapping around my shoulders tightly. I felt a little guilty for snagging his only means of warmth, but made a note that as soon as we leave and start moving again, I'd give it back to him. Smiling, he returned to our means of communication and wrote down his reply before handing the paper back to me. Excited, I ran my eyes over the words - but my heart fell as the sentences processed in my head.

He'd lost his sister. And not just lost her, she was stolen from him in the blink of an eye. Even the thought of loosing one of my siblings to the Games left me almost trembling, fear creeping up on me like the voices in my head that could sneak up at any moment now-