tumblweeds [noooofo)
Feb 23, 2012 1:05:11 GMT -5
Post by cinder on Feb 23, 2012 1:05:11 GMT -5
murrough, MARE
Sometimes I try to memorize my own face by taking stock of e-ve-ry flaw time's lashed into my skin. For example, have you ever noticed the two great, wide holes stamped into my skull, where two overflowing pools of blue spurt salted things I've heard are called tears? And there's a curious black hole that sucks in air and blows out perspiration, like sweat underarms. I've snorted out onto the cracked mirror hanging on my bedroom "door" four times in sixty-five second counts. The liquid never ends! Even my knows starts to get into the shape of the game by the time I'm entering my forth minute. I feel an overwhelming hand-impulse jolting my fingers up to shmeer the wetness across my skin. If I'm right, there are other holes scattered across that blank canvas, unfilled by water and salt. For fairness' sake, I should distribute the spurted liquid across my face, shouldn't I?
But I'm diminished into a state of uncaring boredom after too many minutes and seconds spent staring. I am after all the dictator of this sole body, it is not in my business to treat the tiny, hidden holes across my skin as fairly as the large and useful ones. So, without a second doubt, I run my fingers over the stains of wetness near the eye-holes and the mouth-hole, even the flared things between, "nostrils." My legs itch to take me outside. Apparently, the world is boring, yet I find my own company less than engaging - I don't speak enough to even capture my own interest. My ears suffer from lack of whitenoise, or any noise, bluenoise, blacknoise, popping fuschianoise, for all the`holes`in`the`side`of`my`head care! I need. To leave. Now. Movement, movement, more movement. It's the cure to silence and sadness. They are one and the same.
I drop out of my window, and idly wonder if leaving my window cracked open is very smart - my family is disliked, and the smallest fracture in their united front, a crack in their strong-home could be as lethal as pulling a card from a paper-house. But, "they" are the united front. "I" am not. I am different, and I walk alone metaphorically, just as I walk down the dusted, winding road to town now, as I think. My family love me, but it is all the same as the love they bear each other - a pitiful, half-remembered instinctual bond between those`who`share`blood-ties. I have the vaguest regard for myself that tells me I am worthy of more than love. I desire the fire of passion: hate, or at the very least, a strongly-attracting acquaintance from beyond the borders of the Murrough stronghold. For there is nothing natural about a strong aversion to another human, I find that dissonance with the pattern of the world... admirably original. Albeit, I am no discordianist. I don't like it when something shocks me with its unpredictability.
Morning walks should be lonely, silent stretches of time for contemplation and only contemplation. Strangers aren't supposed to make entrances on a winding road. Not now, nor ever.
ooc- do you think of any color when you read this? idk what I want mare's color to beeee, also shell seem more evil when she plays with your toy