On a Starry Night {Morgie}

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Lydie
Merchant

[M:-515]

112 POSTS
last seen May 5, 2012 19:39:48 GMT -5

I'm sittin' on a gold mine!

On a *Starry* Night {Morgie} Jan 14, 2012 11:26:45 GMT -5

Post by Lydie on Jan 14, 2012 11:26:45 GMT -5

Luna Grey

I wish you were here.

My eyes flew open, my heart raced, pounded in my chest. Remnants of a nightmare still clinging to my mind. My covers were tangled around me and I tried to get free, my hands shaky. When I stumbled out of bed and onto the floor I tried to catch my breath, to get the nightmare out of my mind, the feel of terror and hopelessness. “It’s okay Moon, I’m right here.” Jason’s voice echoed in my head. The feeling of security I usually felt at this memory fell through, it wasn’t comforting anymore. Because Jason was gone. Gone. Because of me. “Good night Moon, I’ll keep the bad dreams away from you.” His words cut into me. Jason was gone. I looked at my hand, the one he always held, the one with the white scar across it. I didn’t feel a lingering warmth there, just the cold.

It’s been four months since Jason left, I didn’t know why I was even trying to sleep. I knew I couldn’t. I got up from the floor, feeling around in the dark for my dresser. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and wrapped a shawl around my shoulders, covering the tank top I wore to bed. I opened my door without a sound and tiptoed down the hall. I paused at Jason’s door. It had been kept closed since he left but every once in a while I went inside. Tonight was one of those times. I opened the door, imagining Jason that night when he left, wondering what he could have been thinking at that moment. The room was dark, only a beam from the moon shone through his window falling over his bed and along the floor, right in the path of the door.

I looked at the made bed, the desk in order. His clothes picked up off the floor by Ma. It was almost as though this had never been his room, that this was just another empty room. I don’t know why I tortured myself like this. Maybe it was to remind myself that it was my fault he was gone, that this family wasn’t the same anymore. Not that I could have forgotten. Jason’s absence was like an elephant in the room, no one could ignore it or not feel it’s existence. It was like the sun had been blocked and we were all left in the darkness, trying to find our way back to the light.

I closed the door and continued down the hall, down the stairs and out the back door. The smell of the ocean came to me in a light breeze that tickled my cheeks. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed it in. In my room my chest felt constricted, like I couldn’t breathe right, when I was in the house I felt weighted down by Jason’s absence. But out here I felt the closest to free as I could get, without Jason here. I started walking towards the beach, I saw the tide roll in and out, it immediately calmed me, set my heart to a normal pace. The moon light glittered off the water, creating a path straight to the beach almost as if it were calling to me, showing me where I needed to go, where I could be free of all my pain.

I almost followed it, almost let myself submerge into the water, but I didn’t. Because I couldn’t give up on Jason, on the idea that he might come back, that he might still be alive. And I couldn’t let myself take the easy way out. This pain was meant to be felt. The conversation that had changed everything rang in my ears, Jason’s words hitting me and causing my knees to shake.

"Luna I've been in love with you for a long time now but I've been afraid to tell you."
“I was never your brother Luna.”

“…after a while I started realizing that I was in love with you.”

“There’s never been anyone else I cared about as much as I care about you.”

“That’s fine,”

I fell to the sand, the tide only a few feet away, the sound filling my ears and overwhelming my senses. But I could still see Jason’s face, his dirty blond hair falling in his eyes. The smile on his face that wasn’t quite as brilliant as it used to be. The serious look that fell across his face after I had broken his heart. The last time I spoke to him replays inside my mind:

I was walking down the hall to my room and could here Jason following behind to his own room. What he had told me on the beach was still replaying inside my mind, I had to say something to him. When I got to my doorway I turned around, “Jason?”

Jason looked up from his door, “Yeah?”

I swallowed, “Everything is still going to be the same right? We’re still friends, just like before?”

He looked at me and again I got the feeling that I didn’t know Jason at all, “Sure Luna, just like before.”

I watched him, trying to decide if he really meant it or if he was just trying to make me feel better, “Good night Jason.”

“Good night Moon.” He said with a smile, though the smile didn’t quite make it to his eyes. Then he opened his door and left me standing in the hall.

That night I couldn’t fall asleep, the scar on my hand hurt. At the time I had thought it was because of what had happened that afternoon, but really it was because that would be the last time I’d see Jason.

I let myself fall backwards, laying in the slightly damp sand, overcome by the guilt that haunted me every day but came to life in the night. I should have just told him that I loved him too, that I felt the same way. Maybe than he’d still be here and I wouldn’t be wandering out on the beach in the middle of the night.

I stretched my legs out and realized that I had forgotten to put on a pair of shoes. The salt water lapped at my toes, dragging at the cuffs of my jeans. I rubbed my hands across my face trying to wipe away the nightmare that my life had become. I hadn’t cried in a long time but tonight I felt like I might. Like maybe this had all just become too much for me to handle.

I looked up at the dark night, at the stars that shone there. They were never ending, just going on and on above me. Too late I realized that I had done this once before.

“Do you see that little star right there?” Jason asked me, pointing up above us. It was about two months before his fifteenth birthday and we had snuck out to look at the stars.

I squinted, trying to follow his finger. “You mean the one that’s all by itself?”

Jason shook his head and I looked over at him, laying beside me, his left hand wrapped around my right one. He was still looking up at the stars. “It’s not alone Moon, don’t you see the circle of stars surrounding it?”

I turned my attention back to the stars, finding the small one again that looked like it was all alone. I widened my gaze and looked around it, he was right there was a circle of stars around it, almost as if they were protecting the little one. “Yeah, what about it?”

“From now on that’s your star Luna, whenever you feel alone just look up at that star and remember that even though it feels like your alone, there are people watching out for you.” Jason said, looking over at me, his eyes twinkling in the starlight.

For a moment I was mesmerized by the light in his eyes, and the words that he spoke. I looked back up at the star, trying to memorize it’s position. Than I looked tat the stars around it thinking about Jason, Ma, and Dad and how much they all meant to me. I looked back at Jason and found that he was still looking at me, “I don’t need a star to remind me of what I have Jason, not when I have you beside me.”

Jason kept staring at me, almost as if he had something he wanted to say. “When you look up at the stars your right eye looks almost like the same color as your left one.” He said.

“It does?” I asked, covering it with my hand. I always forgot about my eyes, how I was blind in the left one and because of it the iris was silver instead of gray.

Jason took my hand away from my eye and continued, “But when you’re looking at the moon this really light ring of silver appears in the left one and it looks different again.”

“Well, I’m not called Luna because of my gray eye.” I said, unsure of how to reply.

“No,” He said, “you’re not.” Then he cleared his throat and looked back up at the stars.

I felt a tear escape my right eye and let it fall. I blinked and looked up at the stars, trying to find the little star Jason had shown me half a year ago. When I found it I looked at the circle of stars around it, but through my tears I couldn’t see them all, I couldn’t see the one that went into the circle slightly, the one closest to my star. I couldn’t see the star that I thought of as Jason. He was gone from the circle around me. A few more tears escaped and I tried to brush the dampness away. But I knew now that there was no hope of Jason coming back, of things going back to the way the had been before. When everything was just the way it should be.

I wish you were here.

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Morgana
District Mayor

771 POSTS
last seen May 25, 2015 9:32:54 GMT -5

On a *Starry* Night {Morgie} Mar 11, 2012 12:53:52 GMT -5

Post by Morgana on Mar 11, 2012 12:53:52 GMT -5

The sun has come up and the time is here
I stare into your room and see that your still not there.

Milo walks towards Theron and tells him to grab the bucket of fish and follow him. Theron does so obediently, because he loves his place here, and doesn't want to leave. Milo wouldn't kick him out, of course. The two of them have grown close in the past year, and Milo likes him more for his companionship than for the work he does. They feed the larger fish together, tossing in the bloodied hunks of small fish shipped in from District Four, Theron's real home. This place in District Six is almost home to him now, but not quite. His father is not here, nor is his mother. His father is dead, so the odds of Theron seeing him again are small. He's never been close to his mother, but there are times when longs for her to kiss him goodnight on the forehead, times when he prays he will wake up to the smell of her blueberry pancakes. And yes, there are even times when Theron wishes for his brother to knock open the door, a smile on his face, and declare that he's found something for lunch.

After work is done for the morning, Theron trails his fingers in the cylinder of water housing the manta rays. He touches their jelly-like skin and smiles. Of the creatures in Milo's home, the rays are his favorite. Desiree enter the room, full of smiles and happiness as always. She greets Theron warmly and sticks her hand in with the manta rays, not caring that she wets half her sleeve in the process. And then there is a sound like shattering glass. This isn't right, and Theron knows it. This isn't the way it's supposed to go. He's supposed to be shaken awake in the middle of the night. Nothing happened here, not in broad daylight. But the Peacekeepers rush in and Desiree screams at him to run. For a moment, he can't run. He just watches as the Peacekeepers shatter glass and fish flop helplessly on the cold, dry ground. And then there is Milo. He tells them to run, but they can't move. And then a knife slides across his throat and there is blood, and Milo is dead, his eyes cold and his body laying across splinters of broken glass. It is then that they run.

Years pass, blurring like a window in the rain. There are many faces and memories, and they pass quickly. Theron does not return home, and he does not return to District Six until today. Desiree is still here, of course, and she protects him. A week together, and then the Peacekeepers found her. They knew she was protecting him. They prepare for him to run. They plan to meet in an alley to say goodbye, but when Theron makes it there, Desiree is being held against a brick wall by a Peacekeeper. He walks no closer but holds his breath, hoping and praying she will emerge unscathed. Her brother is with her, terror on his face, and Theron knows he will never forget this moment. In slow-motion, he watches as the Peacekeeper murders her, this girl he's loved for quite some time, but never more than as a sister. She is his best friend, and she is dying for him. He can't look away. He can't stop repeating the look on Desiree's brother's face, the exact pattern the blood makes as it falls against brick and concrete. The Peacekeepers find him then, and he is taken away, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because another person has died for him, and he can't take this. He can't stand the thought of breathing with these weights on his chest.

They make him go home, and from there, all hell breaks loose. Fledger is there, he has a girl and a baby, and everything is so perfect. And here is Theron, ruining it all. He is imperfection, ugly red scars breaking through the perfect porcelain flesh of their perfect lives. And then the Reaping. A name is called, and Theron can't do a thing. He wants to shout his own name out, but the syllables will not leave his mouth. He tries to scream, but he can't, can't hear his own voice over the rushing in his ears, over the sound of the crowd that doesn't care, because their own lovely children are safe.

Theron watches as Fledger is thrown into a world of red sand and blood. He clenches his fists when his brother deals a fatal blow to the girl from his own District. He watches as Fledger's arm is severed from his body, and he gags on the taste of bile rising in the back of his throat. When Fledger sinks into the sand, Theron squeezes his eyes shut and pretends he doesn't see. Then the fish attacks him, and Theron can't breathe, because that is his own blood leaking out onto the ground, that is his own breath leaving lungs, and it's cruel, the way the thing stops attacking when he's an inch from death. A day later, Theron watches without blinking as the girl kills him. He listens to the final words on his brother's tongue, the desperate sound of regret. the dead eyes. The cold, dead eyes, and Theron is empty. His brother is not coming home.

Theron shot up in bed, his chest heaving. Sweat coated his brow, and he wiped it off quickly. His arm jerked once, twice, and he didn't try to stop it. His heart hammered in his chest. Pressing his hands to his eyes, Theron tried to block out the image of those eyes. Those horrible, terrible eyes, adding just one more image to his collection of nightmares. It could have been him. Should have been, because Theron, unlike Fledger, had nothing to live for. He had nothing to lose. It would have been so easy to say those two little words that would switch his place with Fledger's. It would have been easy, walking into that arena and just letting himself die. He could have been rid of the nightmares forever, finally. But he couldn't do it, and now he was stuck with the guilt, pounding against the bones in his chest and pressing against his skin.

Brooke wailed in the next room. Theron could hear River climbing out of bed and picking up the little girl, murmuring comforting words in the child's ear. He closed his eyes, trying to find his own comfort in them, but he could not. He whipped back the blankets covering the couch he'd been using as a bed for months now. Quickly, he pulled off the worn-out clothes he wore to bed and exchanged them for a pair of pants and a warm shirt. As he shoved his toes into his boots, River stuck her head out the bedroom door. "Theron?" She called softly. "I need some air," he told her as he pulled open the front door.

The coolness of the night did nothing to calm his mind as he stalked down the streets. Images assaulted him, noises crowding just behind his ears, memories pushing to the front of his mind. River, down on her knees, Brooke held to her chest like the baby was the only thing keeping her afloat. the beautiful tears that streamed down her face that day just over a week ago. Theron had hated her once, but he couldn't, not anymore. Not after seeing her like that, so full of love for Fledger that she was bursting at the seams with it. It had broken Theron's heart right down the middle. No, he couldn't hate her. She wasn't s different from himself, after all, losing someone she loved so much there were no words to express it.

Theron's feet dragged against something. Looking down, he realized he'd reached the beach. A full moon hung overhead, illuminating the sand and the water. Anyone else might have thought it looked eerie, almost nightmarish, but not to Theron. All of his nightmares were tinted red. He looked up at the moon, round and full and completely white, unblemished. Then it wasn't the moon anymore, but Fledger's smiling, happy face. Theron inhaled sharply, his heart giving an unpleasant lurch in his chest. It was all his fault, after all. He'd done this. He'd killed his brother.

Fledger's face morphed into something that was not man or woman, young or old. It was at once devastatingly beautiful and horrendous. It took but a second for Theron's mind to figure out what this face was, what it stood for. The Capitol. This was the Capitol, with their cruel Games that took away the people you loved. The ugly Games that ripped you open with guilt and empty promises. Rage rose up in his chest, and he was running down the beach, scooping up rocks in his hands and cradling them to his chest as he crashed into the waves. "DAMN YOU!" he yelled, throwing one rock after another, as hard as he could, towards that awful orb in the sky. "DAMN YOU TO HELL!" he screamed again, his throat becoming raw. His arm twitched violently, pitching the remaining rocks into the ocean.

He fell to his hands and knees. His fingers scratched against sand and small rocks that sat beneath the water as waves pounded against him, soaking his clothing. His shoulders shook and his mouth hung open. The ocean fell from his eyes. He stayed that way for a long time, even as the waves closed over his head and he gasped for breath, half-choking on a substance that was either his tears or the sea. He couldn't breathe, and he never would again. Fledger had left him here with all this responsibility. He had to take care of River and Brooke, but he hardly knew how to take care of himself. And suppose he was Reaped? What would happen to them then?

Finally, he dragged himself out of the water and fell across the beach. Sand clung to his clothing, but he made no move to brush it off. He just lay there, chest heaving with the after-effects of tears, arms spread out wide as water pulled at his shoes. He'd just stay here for a time, catching his breath and trying to figure out how he was to move forward from this. Fledger was gone. Milo was gone. Desiree was gone. There was no one left to protect or save him, and that terrified him. He didn't know how to survive on his own. He couldn't throw rocks at the moon forever.

Lydie
Merchant

[M:-515]

112 POSTS
last seen May 5, 2012 19:39:48 GMT -5

I'm sittin' on a gold mine!

On a *Starry* Night {Morgie} Mar 11, 2012 15:02:57 GMT -5

Post by Lydie on Mar 11, 2012 15:02:57 GMT -5

Luna Grey

I was still lying on the beach, my face wet with tears when I heard it. A tortured voice carried over the ocean's waves, "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" My heart thudded in my chest and my eye widened. I wasn't out here alone, there was someone else on the beach. Which I suppose happens but this person sounded angry and scary, I was a little scared.

For a moment I just lay where I was frozen in the damp sand, waiting for another outburst. They had sounded close by and I wondered if they were gone or if maybe they would see me here and start yelling at me too. I took a deep breath to calm my thudding heartbeat and sat up slowly wiping away my left over tears, taking in the beach around me. There was no one, no sound except for the rolling tide and no sight but the sand and water.

I didn't really want to stick around and wait to see if the person out there would appear so I stood up and dusted off the sand that clung to my jeans and started heading back home. However not long after I started walking down the beach I saw something. A large mass in the waves, at first I thought it was a rock but then I saw it moving, heaving as if it were breathing hard. And then I started making out arms and legs and a head bent over close to the water. Waves lapped at their body, there face submerged in the water once or twice as the waves picked up. The person sputtered and coughed, they sounded male. Is this the person I heard earlier? I thought as I watched them, unable to look away.

They didn't really seem so crazy, well okay maybe they were a little crazy for being in the water like that, for letting the water choke them. But it wasn't an angry crazy, a mean rage kind of crazy that had made Luna shake before. No this person seemed desperately lost to me, desperately sad. They kind of reminded me of myself just moments ago mourning the loss of Jason. But watching this person, cough up water and get soaked like that, well it made my problems seem so small, so irrelevant.

Suddenly the person started moving, dragging themself out of the water and onto the beach. I felt my feet take a step back as the man made his way onto the beach even further and further. He collapsed into the sand and just lay there, his body heaving as air filled his lungs and escaped it.

He almost reminded me of a merman leaving his watery home and coming onto land. Desperately trying to make his way to somewhere new. When I was younger I used to sit out here and dream of growing a tail and fins and escaping the beach out into the ocean, a place of new of adventures and seemingly endless boundries unlike the Districts.

But I knew that such things did not exist, that this man was not part fish and that I could never be one either. Such wishes were for children and Luna had long ago forgotten those wishes, not long after she becamse friends with Jason. There was an ache in my chest at the thought of him but I tried to ignore it, focusing my attention back onto this soaked stranger.

What was I supposed to do? Should I just go home and leave him here? Should I see if he's alright even though he clearly wasn't, sure he was breathing just fine but the way his head had hung as he kneeled in the ocean said more to Luna than words ever could. I wrapped my shawl closer around me, feeling the chill of the night. Sand squished underneath my toes and I just looked at this predicament wondering what to do.

I was no good at talking to other people, especially when they were strangers. If only Jason were here right now, he'd go right up to this guy and start talking to him. Which was probably the right thing to do. I took a deep breath, trying to gather courage I wasn't so sure I had and then I took a step in the guy's direction, and then another step, until I was standing beside his head.

I stole a glance up at the stars and then, holding my breath I leaned down and put a hand on the guys shoulder, I debated shaking him or just tapping him then decided that a steady, gentle hand might be better in this situation. Only as hard as I tried to stop it my hand was shaking, the shakes and nerves working their way up my arm and throughout my body. I clamped my mouth shut as my teeth started to chatter. Come one Luna, pull yourself together, you don't want the guy thinking you're afraid of him. Which she wasn't. She had stopped being afraid of him the minute she had layed eyes on him. She took another calming breath and then mustered up the courage to say something, "Um," However, um was all that left my mouth. I bit my lip, come one Luna, think of something to say! I kneeled down next to the guy's head, my hand still on his shoulder and I tried again, "Do you need help getting to your feet? I, uh, saw you out in the ocean, I'm sure you took quite a beating by those waves. Is there anything I can do for you?" I could hear my voice with every sentence I spoke but I kept going, hoping that whatever it was I was saying might be helpful to him. I wish Jason was here, he'd know just what to say.

I shook the thought out of my head, Jason was gone, I was here, alone with this stranger. Jason couldn't help me now, I was on my own and I would just have to handle things the way I knew how to handle them. "Come on, let's get you away from the water, you'll get sick if you let yourself lie here for too long. My name's Luna, I want to help you."

Last Edit: Mar 11, 2012 15:04:53 GMT -5 by Lydie

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