Second Guesses (jakmocha)

Everyone was celebrating today- one of our own had won the Hunger Games. Big whoopie do- I thought to myself as I sat on the park bench basking in the sun that had hid its self away for so many months. I rarely got time on my own like this, where no one- not even the voices- disturbed me. I also rarely got to leave the house without an escort within 100 yards of me; it was nice, being on my own. I could watch the children play 'tribute' and watch the rich folk pass by excitedly chattering about the coming celebrations and the food that would be offered now that we had a winner from District 2. However, I knew this isolation would not last long because I was awaiting for Aiden.

My parents had considered our 'first date' to be a roaring success, despite the fact I nearly bled to death when I threw a vase at the wall, and now they had set me up on a second one. I honestly have no idea what they were thinking because, I had had very little socialization with human beings up until this point and now they were thrusting me out into the big wide world to be a big girl? I saw it as stupid really. I didn't even love Aiden- so how could they have expected to have us wed in under 6 months, move out into our own home AND for me- 'the demon child' as my mother put it once- to bear and raise children? It was just impossible. I felt sympathetic for Aiden since he, unlike me, had a chance of finding someone who actually loved him. Where I didn't. I'd have guys running a mile- yes- but in the wrong direction.

I sigh and look up and down the path. I could have sworn he was late; I was told by my parents to wait by the river beneath the cherry blossom tree at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. There, Aiden would meet me and we would take a stroll up and down the embankment before we sat down for a lovely picnic our cooks had put together. I glanced at the wicker basket, my stomach growling. If Aiden doesn't hurry up, there will be no picnic to sit down too I think to myself. Of course, the moment that thought passes through my head- I hear a stray voice within me whisper Astrid and Aiden sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G I scowl to myself, and reach into the small leather purse my mother gave me and pull out my pills. I glance around before taking two- shutting up any voices that try to annoy me.

I look round once more, sighing heavily before slumping back against the wooden bench.