[My] Kingdom [Will Never] Come {Zoe}
Mar 28, 2012 23:59:51 GMT -5
Post by Spesh on Mar 28, 2012 23:59:51 GMT -5
[/color][/size][/justify][/blockquote]Brandi Knickita Moreno
Main~a0876e
Speaking~95795e
Motherly Instincts~a8825d
Others Speech~ca8267
It has been too long, far too long, since I stepped foot in this building. The memories of good times, such as always being the best fighter in my age group, and bad flood my mind. The fact that I could trade this place temporary training, with a start time and an end time, for always happening training seems ridiculous now, why I would ever do that makes no sense. Some of the best times of my life were times that I was training here, in this building. Here is where I learned how to handle a sword, throw knives, enjoy the deaths of weaker children.
But now that joy is all gone, and all the memories of training actually being fun, those are gone too.
When I first moved in with the Morenos, I had some pretty good times. I could fight and maim as I pleased, do anything I really wanted. Best of all their liquor cabinet was always wide open and unlocked, so my drinking 'problem', at least that is what my alcoholic birth parents and my doctor called it, was able to happen freely. Most nights I was tipsy, walking around with my sword or knife in one hand, bottle in the other. There was no doubt I was confident, -and I had every right to be, the last time I lost a fight was at age eight-I thought everyone even respected me.
I thought wrong.
People would think that in a house where fighting and maiming is looked upon with favor, someone would have just attacked me with a weapon while I was passed out on the floor. But no, some sick and twisted asshole had other things on his mind. Who does that? I never even knew until I started gaining weight. Mommy and Daddy Moreno wouldn't let me get rid of the baby either, they said its potential for being an amazing tribute was high because of its parents. Those two people who clearly do not care about me are the people who I entrusted little Faith to right now. Why I did that I do not know.
Maybe the drunken beatings from my parents weren't that bad. They'd be done with that now too, or just about. The beatings seemed like less and less, or at least I was feeling them less and less. My parents said to me, once or twice, that the beatings would help me for my time in the arena, they said feeling pain would help harden me. There was one thing they were right about, it helped a lot more than getting raped did.
Now, instead of wanted to be a tribute, I would pray for someone to take my spot, pray for a savior coming in to let me stay with my baby, Faith. That will never happen, I'm not wanted here, and the name Moreno means nobody would dare take my spot. The name means that I am great, it means not to mess with me, not to volunteer to take my spot. Everyone knows it's the truth, they just wont admit it. Nobody would dare say that they would let a mom go to her probable death while letting an infant suffer with no parents. Actions speak louder than words, sure as hell I have learned that in my prison of a house.
Everything comes back to that one moment, that one choice, that one drink. I can't even watch future tributes training without wondering what if this or what if that. These are the people that will hopefully be representing District One in the Hunger Games, laughing as they pray on the lesser Districts' inferior Tributes. Just a few years ago that was me, laughing at other people's pain. It could still be me, if my foster parents let me abort Faith. I'd be out there training right now. Out there having fun instead of sulking here near the entry, just trying to escape from what should be so much fun for someone like me.
It must be pathetic to look at me, the shining star that once was is now a black hole. When I look at the girl outfighting two opponents at once, I know that she should be me. Back when I was special I could easily have taken out all three of those girls, that's why the Morenos wanted me. Yet now they probably want me gone, they probably want to pay the mayor so that I get reaped and get sent of to die in the Games. I've extended my welcome far too long, especially because I'm just weak and useless except when it comes to protecting my baby.
That's the way it will stay too.