Short tempered...[open] D/10
May 23, 2012 16:57:06 GMT -5
Post by Jinx on May 23, 2012 16:57:06 GMT -5
Aspen
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time, too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time, too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
I'd been awake for hours. Staring at the ashy wall of what is supposed to be my room. Sunlight poured in from the small circular window that was positioned a few feet above my bed, which was really just a mattress that used to be my brother's. Jerex. The thin blanket still smelt like him. Sweat and dirt and animals. Yeah, that was him alright. Of course, half of the other people in District 10 smelt like that as well, but to me it was his scent.
I still cannot believe how much I miss him. It's like I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he's gone and I'll never see him again unless I get reaped for the Games, and even then he could be further punished for my recognition of him if we met. He was the only one who understood me. The only one I could talk to. Sure my father knows me well, but he has never been much for talking. I should have made him stay. I should have got down on my knees. I should have...
Stop it. I told myself and rolled out of bed, flinging the blanket off of my small body. I didn't want to think about him. He was the idiot that left in the first place. He knew was he was risking. Then I had the horrifying realization that there was tears running down my face. Oh my god, Aspen. Get it together. I wiped them angrily off of my face and stood up. I pulled on my dark, almost black jeans that were cut off at the knees because it was rather hot out during the day, and a faded green T-shirt. Not very stylish, but it was simple enough. I glanced into the cracked mirror that I'd broken after getting angry at my mom long ago. After running my hands through the thick, dark, wavy auburn hair a few times, I looked halfway decent. Although it was kind of hard to get a full focus on my face because of those damn eyes. They even distracted me, with the left one being bright blue while the other is a dull brown. I considered smashing the mirror a little bit more so I wouldn't be tempted to look into it every day, but then decided not to, because my mother would probably have a heart attack. Beauty is important to her, and a mirror is a luxury.
The house is quiet, if you can even call this shack-like building a house. There is a sound coming from the living room/kitchen area and I immediately realize that it's the television, which I find quite unnecessary to have. It looks odd and out of place in the small area that has just an old rocking chair and a couch, both run down and shabby. Jerex and I used to jump up and down on it and pretend we were in the Games, stabbing each other with sticks and arguing about who would be dead. Being so young, neither of us truly knew what it meant. Not until we were older and the Hunger Games no longer seemed like a game.
My mother sat in the rocking chair, her pale eyes glued to the screen. Her thin blond hair was pulled back into a neat bun and she wore a faded blue dress that reached just above the floor. She always seemed perfectly kept. My father, on the other hand, wore a bloody apron and his reddish brown hair was tousled slightly, there was a look in his eyes that suggested he was thinking about a lot more than what was displayed before him.
"What's going on?" I said, grabbing a bowl from the counter and filling it with stew. Stew..meaning anything and everything in some kind of dark liquid that concealed what you were eating. This is why I don't chew my food. I really don't want to know what the texture of cow organs is.
Dil looked up and shrugged, "The tributes. Being chosen. Arriving at the Capitol." He never did say much. My mother sighed, "I'm so glad we made it through another year. I really was worried Aspen. Your name is in there many times, and I was sure--"
"Don't even start, mother. I'm not in the mood." I said after swallowing something with a rough texture that I think may have been tongue.
"I'm just saying--"
"Well stop! Okay?" I yelled and instantly knew that I went to far. Her eyes got big and watery. She reminded me of a four year old.
"I'm leaving." I said simply and got up, shoving my bowl of slop away and grabbing my boots.
Dil nodded, "Have fun." He said over my mother's blubbering. He looked as annoyed as I was.
On my way out I could heard him sigh, "Jerex was the same way growing up."
"And look where he is now."
I slammed the door and stomped into the road, glancing to the small shop that was connected to our house. I was so angry that I didn't even care that we weren't getting much business on a usually busy day. As I walked those words wouldn't stop playing in my head. And look where he is now. I hate her. I hate my mother. That aggravating, stupid, naive woman. I hate her.
While I was storming down the road, it occurred to me that I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have much money, just a few coins that wouldn't buy much, so going into town was pointless. I just wanted to be alone. I found myself by the fence that buzzed faintly with electricity. I touched the wire and there was a tiny shock that made me jump, but nothing deadly. Suddenly I was wishing that I could run away like Jerex, and escape this damned place. It seemed so easy...how would anyone but my parents know? But I knew that I'd never do it. Maybe I'm not brave enough. Maybe...
I sank to the ground and leaned against a tree that had grown outside of the fence, carving angry marks into it with my knife. I did this for about an hour, drifting in and out of thought, until there was a big hole in the tree. I hadn't even noticed the shadow standing directly above me.
(ooc - I will type in first person or third. Whichever you prefer.)[/size]
