Better heads need shut eye (luke)
Jun 3, 2012 18:41:07 GMT -5
Post by kneedles on Jun 3, 2012 18:41:07 GMT -5
[/size][/justify][/color]They were young, they were reckless and they were wild. Clutching bottles of home brewed vodka that tasted starchy and too much like the rotten potatoes fermenting in bottles that had made them, they tore their way through town in celebration. The reapings were over, the games had begun and none of them had gone in, all of them had been spared for yet another year. None of them had been bashed apart in the bloodbath even if the blood count was sort of low this year. This is what it felt like to be lucky bastards, this was what it felt like to be alive. You were alive as you snuck into a field to tip a cow, as you made love with two people who weren’t your boyfriend or your girlfriend or even your preferred gender in someone else’s barn, alive as you chugged down that strange tacky tasting drink and chewed into mushrooms found in the woods that your friends insisted made you feel pretty trippy.
Tallow Tansy didn’t feel all that alive right now though. Hunched over into a bush, feeling her soul escaping from her in warm hot chunks she felt pretty much on the edge of death herself. Why? Why? Why did she insist on trying to keep up with those of her friends who were tall and male and had a good sixty to eighty pounds on a fifteen year old girl who could easily slip away on a gust of wind? It never ended well, she knew it never ended well and Tallow knew she was smarter than that. But knowing better and doing better are always two very different things entirely.
For example, she knew better than to run around with boys and booze in low cut shirt hanging limply over her shoulders, tiny shorts that she’s cut off at the cuff to make even tinier so that more than nothing is left to the imagination, the entire length of two stick legs, unfortunately somewhat bow legged with a gap inside of them large enough to fit a small horse easily between her thighs, poking out from underneath. She knew better than to drink so much that it’s questionable whether she can take care of herself anymore at a time when she should be at her most vigilant and she knew better to abandon her friends for a damn forty two year old ranch foreman from updistrict coming down with a herd who’d stopped at a tavern to drink. A damn pussy forty two year old ranch foreman who’d flirted with her like a champ only to turn around and cry about loving his wife and his daughter ‘sh-sh-she’s about your age, you know’ (how romantic and sexy )with his trousers half around his ankles leaving Tallow alone and not exactly sure of her bearings in the slightest. She knew better and yet she still did it all.
And there she was; alone and not exactly sure of her bearings in the slightest until the urge to spew gripped her and, realizing that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate properly unless she was sick, Tallow jammed to fingers inside of her throat to encourage things along. Tactically like, until there were chunks of bread and other fun stuff on her index and middle fingers on her left hand. Moaning weakly though she did have to admit that she felt a little better, crouching to wipe her hand on the grass and frantically making sure she hadn’t gotten any on her hair. Thankfully she hadn’t and, though a little mussed from making out, it was as thick and glossy as ever, more like the mane and tail on a thoroughbred colt than anything else.
Eff the people she’d gone out with, Tallow thought, emerging from the bushes and finding only the lingering smell of alcohol, body odor and teenage angst as well as a few dozen cigarette butts littering the ground to suggest that they had even been there at all. Yes, she was always memorable when one of them wanted to screw her but the minute she was off with someone else it was as though she stopped existing altogether. Eff that and eff them, seriously. Tallow Tansy was adequate as fuck and she knew how to look after herself and find her own way home. Who gave a crap if they didn’t think she existed? Tallow knew that she did and that she was better than pretty much all of them put together.
After hauling herself off the floor and walking around the outside of the bushes, it was a while she realized just how dirty her knees were, giggling at how easily a passer-by could get the wrong impression from all of that mud and all those grass stains on her skinny, knobbly bones. And she giggled at how close she’d been to making the wrong impression, in actual fact, the right one if it weren’t for that whiny bitch of a ranch foreman moping about his wife and his daughter. Poor guy had no idea what he was missing. Eff him too.
She was, predictably, staggering as she walked like a shaky limbed foal learning to walk for the first time, her arms out reached to keep balance, to work out in a way where she was going through all of this double vision dancing in front of her eyes. And it was so long left til the Tansy house, so long until she reached that shithole of a tin can shack. Half of her was tempted simply to try and crash somewhere in town, on a bench, in a storm ditch, anywhere that wasn’t such a walk.
And when she tripped messily over her feet onto a gravel path, bashing up her knees and bloodying them in a way that she wouldn’t feel tomorrow Tallow thought that this seemed like a good a place as any so she curled up in on herself like a cat folding into a comfortable chair (adorable, really) snuck a thumb into her mouth and started to doze lightly (her snoring and the dribble still a little lined with chunks of her dinner spilling onto her chin not being so adorable)