.you're [sick] of [feeling] numb. [semper]

Really, I needed to leave District one. I had been here for far too long, and some people here even had Avox servants, so if I was caught, they'd send me back off to the Capitol to be beaten and bossed around. Oh, how I missed Luk. He was so good to me... I honestly don't think there's a master quite like him anywhere else. He actually let me go so I could find Lily and Colton -- and not just let me go, but he pretty much escorted me all the way to D5. I don't care what Luke says, he'll always be Master to me. A good master, too. I hope he's doing alright. Maybe I could sneak into the Capitol at some point and see him, but that's probably a bad idea. I'd get caught faster than I can think "oh my Ripred."

Unconsciously, I lift my hands as I'm walking down the street and examine my wrists. The scars were unmistakable: wide, dark colored scars running across my wrists. One was intentional -- that had been when I cut my wrist in the DC and painted on the wall with my own blood. Makes me wonder if the stain is still there. The other obvious scars were from handcuffs. When Luk bought me, the Peacekeepers had put handcuffs on really tight and they irritated my skin so bad that I bled, and not to mention the Peacekeepers pretty much starved me. Also pretty much had a heart attack when a.... a "car," I think it was, started yelling at me. Or honking, as Luk had said. Craziest thing I've ever seen in my l-

I ran into someone, knocking my shoulder against them and making me twist sideways. A short gasp came from me as my eyes shot up, seeing a man a mere foot or so beside me. 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, he's gonna find out.' Panic held me and I stand absolutely frozen in place, a look of horror on my face as I stare at him with wide eyes. 'He can't find out, oh Ripred, if he finds out I'm screwed.'

I couldn't answer. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. You know, just about the worst possible thing you could do to calm someone down is to tell them to calm down. I'm an Avox in District One! How could I not panic?! I couldn't get sent back to the DC, not when I'm so far with the Uprising and in the wild goose chase of finding Lily and my little boy. I couldn't waste the time pacing behind bars again. Who knows who I would be the cellmate of, anyway. Perhaps a mass murderer, or someone who despises Avoxes... that wouldn't end well.

But there was something about this guy.... he reeked of alcohol. His words were slurred and he gave me a grin. I could swear he's drunk, but I don't know. I've never been drunk so I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. My eyes watch him as he lifts a bottle up, holding it there. It didn't look like there was much left, so I could only assume that he was a bit sluggish in terms of thinking. My eyes lift their gaze back up to his face, examining it. He looks a bit like me in terms of hair color, but since he lives in D1, so he appeared much more well taken care of. Me, on the other hand, I was scrawny, but so was the rest of Panem. It was only people like this guy here that appeared healthy.

My gaze returns to the bottle in his hand. Should I take it? Before I realize it, my hand reaches out and takes it from him, bringing it up to my nose to sniff it. The aroma is harsh, making my nose feel like it was burning. But the longer I held it, the more I began to realize how thirsty I was. Eh, I don't care if this guy has any oral disease, so I just place it to my lips and drink some of it, my nose scrunching up as the awful taste filled my mouth. I may not have a tongue, but something as bitter as beer I can still taste. I had difficulty swallowing, of course, and shaking my head to try to clear away the awful taste, I hand the bottle back to him, giving a low, rumbling growl in response for the bitterness.

I wait for the guy to take the bottle back, and when he does, he asks the worst question imaginable: Why haven't you spoken yet? I feel all the blood drain from my face, leaving it pale. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. What I was going to tell him? I'm an Avox, obviously I can't answer. I don't have any paper or writing utensils with me either, so I'm stuck.

Since I can't answer, I just offer him a stupid, toothy grin, being sure to hide the fact that I don't have a tongue. Hopefully he would take the gesture as an answer and then he would just be quiet and not question him anymore. Please don't ask me anything else, please don't... The smile on my face neutralizes and I glance back down at the bottle in his hand. Come to think of it, that beer, or whatever it is, tastes kind of good as an aftertaste. I lightly bite down on my lower lip, lift my gaze back up to the guy's eyes, down at the bottle, and then back up at his eyes, trying to hint at him that I wanted to have some more.


((Dunno what else to put. xD they need to get drunk nao ))

When he asks me if I want more, I simply nod. Sure, the liquid had a bitter and awful taste at first, but the longer it settled on my tongue, the better it began to taste. And not to mention, it made me realize just how thirsty I really am. Once the liquid had hit my throat, it was like a switch was flipped and I was craving the alcohol. I need something to drink, and I can probably just get this guy to get me some.

He says to follow him and I trail behind him into this bar-looking place. To be honest, I've never been in a bar before. The smell of alcohol hits me like a brick in the face as soon as I step through the door. It's not too pleasant, but I can deal with it. The guy goes and sits at a bar stool, and for a moment I hesitate, eventually following and sitting down beside him. He says a few words and soon the bartender brings both of us a drink and the stranger slides me a tall glass of beer, I think it is. My hand reaches out and pulls it closer to me, and I bring it up to my nose to smell it. The scent is strong and bitter, but hey, it's a drink. Turning to the stranger, I lift my glass to him and give him a small nod in appreciation, then I put it to my mouth and drink it as fast as my slow swallowing ability will allow me, setting the glass back down on the bar once it's empty. Damn, it feels good to finally have something to drink even if it's bitter.

This guy, Elixir, gets the bartender to come and get us both another drink, and as soon as it hits the table in front of me, I snatch it up and drink it as fast as an Avox can. Without a tongue, swallowing is much harder, but being dehydrated does you wonders and I found that the glass was already empty when I look at it again. With a mournful sigh I set the glass down and stare at it as if it'll somehow magically refill itself.

I'm unaware of anything going on around me until someone grabs my face and forcefully turns it. I see Elixir right in front of me, and then really right in front of me. He kisses me. I'm caught way, way, way off guard. The kiss is soft at first, but then it gets more rough. Again, I'm just frozen stiff, my brain going haywire because I have no idea what the hell is going on. Why is he kissing me?! The longer it goes on, though, the more my thoughts begin to sort out. I'm kissing a boy - and I kinda like it. It's a good bit different than kissing a girl, though I've only kissed one girl. But kissing a guy... it's more passionate because it's exotic, in a way. Kinda like things are better when they're forbidden. Not that homosexuality is forbidden, no; just that you don't see it very often. And that's what makes it feel so much better an-- oh my good Ripred his tongue is in my mouth. Elixir's tongue is in my mouth. My initial instinct is to jerk away, but he has his hands on my face so I can't move. Not that I'd want to, anyway; Elixir's kinda hot, both literally and metaphorically.

When Elixir pulls away, I'm left staring awkwardly at him, my eyes wide with confusion and bewilderment. But that doesn't last for very long because he grabs onto my wrist and hauls me out of the bar and around to the back -- oddly similar to the way Luke had dragged me out of another bar. Although, unlike Luke, Elixir doesn't give me a packet of drugs. He asks me two simple questions instead: if I'm an Avox and where I'm from. I hesitantly nod to the first one, then reach into my pocket and pull out a small notepad and pen to write down my answer.

I'm from all over, but D11 originally.

As I hold out the notepad, I watch his facial expression change to one of disbelief. What's unbelievable? I don't understand. Maybe it's the fact that there's an Avox - not to mention a masterless Avox - here in D5, or maybe he was just drunk. There's no telling how many beers he had before I got there, so he probably has more alcohol in his system than blood right now.

And here come the questions. I take the notepad back and then start writing my answers.

My name is Devroux. I was just passing through when I bumped into you. This is about my fourth time here in D5. I'm an Avox because of a series of unfortunate events.

Elixir snickers and I nod to return his greeting. And thankfully he wasn't a drug dealer. That powder crap burns your nose like crazy. I can deal with alcohol, but not drugs. I must've downed the drink faster than I had anticipated because I found myself hiccuping along with him. Huh, now that I think about it, my vision does seem a little bit hazy on the edges...

He then asks me a very personal question, and I'm very hesitant to answer. You don't just go around telling your problems to everyone who asks, but with the alcohol starting to hit my system, I didn't really think before I started scrawling out an answer.

I'm looking for someone, but that can wait.

My handwriting has gotten sloppier and my mind is getting more sluggish. I show him the notepad again, letting my hand drop back down to my side after a few moments. Now that I look at him, he really does seem a big young. Maybe he's my age, maybe not. I doubt he wasn't very much older - hell, maybe he was even younger. Well, I kind of felt a bit of odd when that thought hit me, but eh, who cares? I don't. Or maybe I do, I don't know. All I know is that the childish look I think his face has is kind of attractive. Or maybe that's the alcohol in me.