It'll be worth it all {Josh}

"He ain't really your brother." Tallow's words rang through her head. "I'd be proud of you." Her feet carried her through the town, her hips swaying and her teeth nervously gnawing on her bottom lip. Tallow was right on all accounts. Mace wasn't really her brother, hooking up with him was better than most guys in the District. Better than all the guys in the district. He would be worth this. He'd be worth Nokota hating her and worth the tears. Because he would love me. He would care.

Her feet dragged along the dusty road, the worn tennis shoes leaving tiny footprints behind her. She wasn't big anymore, not heavy and waddling. She was light and airy and springy now, almost like the spring breeze. Mace had to notice her now, she wasn't just a little brat. She was cunning and sparkling and new. She was everything the men in District 10 drooled for, and Tallow had been making sure Swallow-Anne was on her best behavior. Preening her and prepping her for this moment, like a lamb to slaughter, Swallow-Anne didn't even know.

The houses of the Victors Village rose in front of her and she felt her chest get tight. Breathe, its just ole Mace. He ain't that scary, he's the same boy who used to make sure you were able to play instead of spending all your days doing chores and making sure the monsters stayed out of the closets. He's just Mace, ain't nothing more than that. Running her fingers through her long hair she pulled it up and off her shoulders tying it in a knot atop her head and forcing the air in and out of her lungs. The nerves racked her stomach and all she wanted was to turn and run, but step by step she made it closer. Closer to him. Her eyes searched the doors til she saw the number she looked for. Stepping up she knocked three times.

The sound seemed to resonate through the empty houses in the area. District 10 wasn't known to have Victors, and the fact Mace had actually made it through was still a shock to Swallow-Anne, considering he was reaped on her first reaping day. Hot and sticky and too dusty to even want to leave the house the kids from the community home were rounded up and shipped down to the District Square. Mace was the leader, always in charge, and my big ole fat ass could hardly fit into the hand-me-down dress. He always made sure we were safe in our groups before stepping into his. He was RESPONSIBLE. The sun was too bright and the sounds too loud and I could feel my heart pumping in my chest. Ain't gonnabe me, I chanted over and over closing my eyes and pressing my hands to my ears. Sure wasn't me though, was Mace, my Mace, OUR Mace. I felt the hot tears on my cheeks and I couldn't even look to the stage. Should've taken anyone else but him...Spent my time hidin' from the games, as did a lot of us younger kids. Ain't nothing for us to see there but blood and death...but through all of it, Mace came back.

Shaking the memories out of her head she stared at the door, just wanting to say hi, just wanting some fleeting moment of those old times. Rubbing the toe of her shoe into the welcome mat out front she swallowed her fear and hoped he'd want to see her too.