{Sweet Nothing* [MS vs. 3 Stymphalains]
Oct 14, 2012 18:07:43 GMT -5
Post by arx on Oct 14, 2012 18:07:43 GMT -5
۵ ۵ ۵ ۵ ۵
You took my heart and you held it in your mouth
And, with a word all my love came rushing out
And, every whisper, it's the worst, emptied out by a single word
There is a hollow in me now
And, with a word all my love came rushing out
And, every whisper, it's the worst, emptied out by a single word
There is a hollow in me now
Two cannons fired yesterday. I didn't realize how wrong the television back in six got the sound of it wrong. The sudden boom, ringing in your ears, echoing across the arena, letting every living tribute know that yet another person has fallen. It's not just a signal. It's a mark of death. The sound of death, like a scream in the middle of the night, or the shot of a gun, or the beep of a hospital machine. Death has so many sounds - and somehow mine had none. Back at the cornucopia, with Theseus. Complete silence. Or had I died much, much earlier than that? Back at the Capitol, during my interview? When I lit all those rose candles? During my private training session, when I let my mouth fill with blood? At the Reaping? Before the Reaping? When I joined Tempus? When I left home? When my daddy just wouldn't stop? At my birth? During my conception? Did I lose my battle with life even before it began?
I walked all day, through the rain and the sun, waiting for the moment the stars would appear and sparkle like diamonds in the sky. And because the ground is basically half liquid, I can see the stars sparkle in the ground too. I'm walking through endless piles of diamonds. A shower of diamonds is raining down around me. I knew it could only happen to me in a dream. Or in death. So, am I asleep or dead? I feel my eyes blinking, so I must be alive - No. Please, let me die. My feet slosh through puddle after puddle, sending ripples through all of the fallen diamonds. I think maybe I got it wrong before - these aren't diamonds. They are tears of the angels from heaven. I clutch my kings' crowns in my hand, squeezing so tight that my hand begins to bleed over the three silver things. Taste my blood, my kings. Stop your weeping, I will join you soon enough.
Faces flash across the sky, like lightning during a summer storm back home. I try to recognize the faces, but I can only picture the three faces among the diamonds. Mason, Guy, Theseus. Tears roll down my face, the bloody side of my face undoubtedly smearing. I can taste blood when my tears reach my mouth.How could you possibly feel sorry for yourself?Not for me. For them.I don't believe you. You're lying to yourself, Naveen.
I know.
And when I think I might be able to look up at the sky an identify the fallen tributes of Day 2, I discover that the music and faces have shut out a long time ago. Like it matters. I haven't been counting since I held Theseus at the river. Since I left Theseus at the river. I slosh through puddles, picking a lotus flower to pieces as I walk. It's so hot that I consider just laying down in the ponds that surround me for a few minutes, but I'm afraid that if I lay down, I may just not be able to make myself get back up. So I continue to tear the lotus flower to pieces, dropping on petal after another into the water behind me. Usually girls will do this, asking if a boy likes them. He loves me. He loves me not. I remember asking that question. Rio - I do love that boy. But that question now seems totally irrelevant. Terribly out of proportion with my current situation. So I decide to ask a question that suits the night a bit better. They let me live. They kill me now. But I don't even get to the end of the spectrum of petals. I end up walking waist deep into an ocean before I realize that the lotus field is long gone - a sea is now spread out before me. An ultimate pool of diamonds. And before I realize what I am doing, I dive in, fishing for the tears that shimmer in the water. Let me take your tears and turn them into a smile.
But the tears keep floating away. The diamonds aren't real, made of falsified liquid that slips right through my fingers. The angels have lied to me. They do not weep for me. Why would they? A petty girl who feels sorry for herself - how could she deserve tears? No, they are laughing at me. My kings are laughing at me. I swim back to shore, listening to the cackles that no one else can hear. Listening to the people who I though cared laugh at how pathetic I am. Laughing at my vulnerability and stupidity. Laughing because they know I am bound to fail. Laughing because I had the notion to believe they cared about me. Who is the fool now, my dear queen? I pull myself from the water, clutching my knees to my chest, burying my face into my arms, and let myself cry again. And the laughter comes louder with every drop I let fall from my cheek. And I cry, and cry, and cry, until I'm too tired and find myself out of tears. And then I let myself lie down at the ocean's edge, for all the world to see and all of the angels to laugh at.۵ ۵ ۵ ۵ ۵
I awaken to the itch of taunts and accusations being thrown into my ears. Darling, don't you want to live? Use me again and I can help you. I try to ignore it, close my eyes and pretend I can't hear anything, but soon it becomes to great, bursting my ear drums, making me thrash in the sand which clings to me and makes me feel like a thousand bugs are swarming onto my body to kill me. I swat at my arms, my face, clutch at my ears, dive into the water - but still I hear the voice. I can take you home Naveen. Don't you want to go home? Don't you want to survive? My heart is beating so fast, my eyes squeezing shut so tight, my breathes coming from my lungs to rapidly - I can feel my muscles tensing, my mind changing. That side of me that is concealed by my blood. The blood on my face washed off in the sea last night no doubt, but I can still feel the evil that my blood held inside. I'm losing the small amount of sanity I have left. I can't lost against this thing ... I can't.
I stick my fingers in my mouth and press down on my tongue. I taste blood, but still I press my fingers down harder. I can feel myself collapsing. I don't want to collapse. Tears spring to my eyes just before i hear the voice ask me again. Don't you want to go home? Let me help you ... A scream escapes my throat, muffled by my fingers but startling all the same. I pull my fingers from my mouth, gagging and coughing up blood. Dear queen, pain cannot always solve your problems. Soon, you will lose control. I shake my head. Wipe my tears. Soon, my dear queen, you will lose.
"But, I have to go home."
"Shut up girl before I hit you again!"
I'm sorry, daddy. Sorry, sorry, sorry ...
I hear the flapping of wings and raise my head to see large silhouettes flying over my head. I hear a cackle escape from them and know immediately who they are. I feel anger growing inside me - a rage I have not felt towards anyone but myself in a very long time. Three angels. Three kings. Laughing at me. I lunge for my weapon and swing into the air.
"I thought you cared!! You lied to me, you all lied to me!!"
Attacks Stymphalain #1 with Cat o' Nine Tails (flail)
[dice=200+12000]
{Broken Rib -- 7.0 damage}
[dice=200+12000]
{Broken Rib -- 7.0 damage}
"Theseus, you said you would take me home!!"
So I put my faith in something unknown
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing
۵ ۵ ۵ ۵ ۵
[rand=121708207013656310686550734200422929228378278208432547027735567085]