KAYLE EVERETT - D. 4 - FINISHED

Darling Sorrel, why do you insist on being such an untouchable human? Hiding in your dark corner,

trying to escape the fears that exist potently in your pea-sized brain. My sister has always confused me, the way that she furs her eyebrows in fright for even the simple things. Sorrel has brown eyes, the color of pure mud. They are always closed in their own world, kept safe from the 'monsters' that she claims live under the silver waves.

I am one with the waves though, blue eyes gracing me. Mum always told me that my eyes were beautiful, she was proud of me, I was 'the child'. The one that Sorrel never was. I wanted to be that little girl forever. Sadly though, life must go on and things move past with hastened speed. And then I stopped talking one day. It wasn't unexpected for my willpower to take over my full, pink lips and command them to stay shut. It was all because of my stupid sister, her and her perfection that others see, all except for mum and dad. They see her as a weak link, they nag her to train. All the others, they see as a human girl with perfect blonde hair and a gentle personality. Little do they know the being that cowers inside. Why do they like her?

-

"Hey Sorrel, ya wanna come down to the ocean t'day?" I looked up at Sorrel with sparkling, baby eyes. No one could resist the wide innocence that my eyelids allowed me, Sorrel used to fall for them, she used to be naive. That all changed in one day.

"Yeah, sure Kayle," She smiled.

"Yay," I remember jumping around in my small, plaited dress and feathery hair. It would never be as beautiful as Sorrel's hair, I adored it. She always kept it so neatly done, combed to the side of her head, a ribbon adorning the hair above her right eye.

"Lets be off," She pulled me along with her hand, even though I was thirteen at the time, Sorrel still treated me like a little child.

"I can walk b' myself," I growled, running around as though to be a rabid animal. We both laughed, little did I know that only a few minutes later our relationship would crack.

I didn't know this at the time, I was still a happy child that hadn't gotten control of how to talk properly. They told me that I carried a 'lisp'. They told me it's something with the way a person talks.

And together we walked, Sorrel skipping ahead while I followed in a happy gait, my skirt flopping around my small, knobby knees. The sea was ahead, it was so pretty, like my eyes. The sun reflected off of the water and mesmerized me, I had seen the rolling waves before, never had their beauty stricken me in such a way though.

After that, I don't remember a single thing. They told me later though that I had tried to kill Sorrel, I would never do that. What got into me? I do remember sitting in my room crying, Sorrel didn't want to speak to me, mum and dad were mad at me.

Then I stopped talking for good.

-

My love of my sister never came back, the missing piece in my heart filled with something much more sinister, hurt and revenge. No one could see my tears, they just saw me as the girl that refused to talk. I deserve nothing, that's what they say. "Put her on the street, dammit." Even my Psychologist can't help, the old bat of a lady knows nothing.

"Now Kayle, tell me exactly what happened. Slowly and steadily, try to recall what you did on that day." On the first day, I remember thinking of her as a snake. She had bulging eyes and she wore a scaled green dress. Even her words had a hiss to them as she tried to coax me into revealing my secrets to the likes of her. Why did anyone think that I would ever talk to a complete stranger about my life? If I couldn't talk to those that I loved, why would I ever talk to the snake-lady. I have never understood the ways of people.

On that day though, when mom brought me to the office, I remember running out of the room, screaming horrifically. Mom still insisted on bringing me back every week. She wanted to know that I could be healed, she began to set up a mental block inside of her head against my words. Even her eyes turned to glass as she would talk to me. No, she just wanted everything to stay the same. What a fool, even my mother, who I trusted, had to go and butter everything up with stories and lies to coat herself in the feeling that everything would go back to normal. I almost felt sorry for her at first, seeing her huddled shape curled up on the couch for hours as she would yell at Sorrel to make her meals for her. I could see the pain in her eyes. After a while though, my pain turned to anger at all of them. It hasn't ever left me and it never will, that is something I vowed to myself a long time ago. I don't like it when others break promises, why would I sever my own?

Once when I was little, I asked Sorrel what it was like to be angry. I had just come back from school, a girl had pulled my hair and called me names. I felt empty inside, like a shell of a being. Mom told me something once, she told me that when I feel like that, it's called 'anger'. When I asked Sorrel that one day she just shrugged.

"Sorry Kayle, can't tell you. I don't know." Then she smiled, my mouth left hanging open as she skipped away happily. How had she never felt the call of revenge before? The welling deep inside of your heart that wants to take over. I had more questions than ever. Was my sister human? Was she from a different world? Were there different worlds out there? Would I ever be able to visit one? One question led to another and soon it spiraled down to me wanting to run away. Mom didn't seem all that surprised, she just grunted as I interrupted her radio show. She has always loved the Capitol, sometimes mom even would pretend to be from there, imitating the silly accent that the people use so unconsciously.

After walking past her, I remember heading outside into the salt-bitten air and letting my arms out to my sides. I remember my blonde hair flying in all directions and my small dress, the frills ruffling softly in the icy wind. I didn't mind the cold though, all I wanted was freedom. The feel of being a true person, no longer ruled by the likes of the Capitol anymore. I hated being controlled like a puppet. No one could understand, no one would ever bother to. They were all so mesmerized under the fake veil that the Capitol set up for their pleasure. The games, the food, the ocean. It was all a trick, all one big lie. A breaking of a promise.

I knew from then on that I would never lie, never cheat. Everything would be received fairly, including my freedom. I knew at the time that the only way to get what I wanted was to run and never stop. Skip to the outskirts of town and keep going. No more would I have to look at Sorrel, I could find a better family and live with them. It would be a fairytale.

It didn't take me long though to realize many factors of my plan that would quickly get me in trouble. For instance, I didn't have any food. I saw people starving every day and the last thing I wanted was to be one of them. Sitting on the ground, clutching my stomach as the life slowly faded from my dulled over eyes. I knew that I couldn't do it. I wouldn't make it into the forest, I would make it no where.

Being the indecisive girl that I was, I quickly returned to the house. My one second of freedom, over and done with. It was that day that I finally understood why Sorrel liked the birds so much. They had a mind of their own and could be controlled by no human alive.

I liked the idea of that. I wanted it more than anything. I still do.