una mille - [Stars]
Nov 4, 2012 20:12:31 GMT -5
Post by chelsey on Nov 4, 2012 20:12:31 GMT -5
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
Oh lord please don't let me be
misunderstood.
Understood?
[/color][/center]Oh lord please don't let me be
misunderstood.
Understood?
[/justify]Darkness encompasses me that night, a suffocating haze wrapped tightly around my neck (like the noose that leeches itself around the lives of the darkest sinners). I'm a sinner - we have been sinners all our lives. But, as a child, I never thought to think of a day where my sins would spur to cold murder. The Heather Elliot who flew past the boundaries of a moonlit orchard never really thought of how one day her wings would be clipped, and her hands soaked in someone else's blood -
I used to sing. All birds can sing, after all, and Aunt Meryl tells me that my gift was bred inside of me the instant I was born. (I was born a murderer. I killed the very woman who gave me life. I was born a sinner, and, now, I am paying for those sins.) But, still, I sang with every fluttering heartbeat that rocked the corridors of my ribcage - each breath a relief to the pressure that weighed down upon the floods of guilt in my conscience. My voice was cracked with a blinding and brilliant truth of the cruelties of our reality, it's quaking violence disguised with the sweetly coated mask of a velvety song.
When was the last time I sung?
My lips quiver when a song Aunt Meryl used to sing in the bakery's kitchen wisps out in tiny feather like breaths - almost like the song itself is too scared to step foot outside into this dark atmosphere.
"Oh Marcello
How I wonder
La Madonna, she tell the truth, no?
She's been saying I'll have a baby
When he grow up he become a killer."
How I wonder
La Madonna, she tell the truth, no?
She's been saying I'll have a baby
When he grow up he become a killer."
[/color]No one ever really expected for their child to become a killer.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]
The lyrics used to ramble in my head meaninglessly, just a sea of words and sharp syllables that never bothered to make sense. But they click together now, as if I was putting together a puzzle.
"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood
Understood?"
pushed me to strive towards the greater good.[/i] But, no "just" God would allow any of this to happen, would he? (If God were merciful, I'd be dead by now.) No "just" God would allow his creations to perish at the hands of others. And, if a God weren't just, then what point is there in obeying him?
My lips pause, with the next wave of lyrics tumbling at my closed mouth. The song has taken on a new direction for me, a fork in the road that I've yet to witness before. Before, I would have never questioned the presence of, well, "a higher force," of a Fate, of Destiny, of God. Religion doesn't dictate my life, but it's always been an inside factor that's pulled the strings of my life and
"Do you believe in God?" I ask Demeter quietly, when the echo of my song has subsided into another silver of nothingness in the darkness.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/color]
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
Oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood.
Understood.
Understood.
[/color][/center][/size]Oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood.
Understood.
Understood.