TELL MEH YO FIRST KISSES & THINGS

okay this is like an incoherent list of a few of my consecutive kisses in 8th grade because they're all equally laughable

I don't actually remember if we were dating or not, and I use the word "dating" loosely here because I swear this dude was freaking terrified of me and we never went on dates really and it was just completely bad. But yeah, he was terrified, I swear. One time after school he pulled me aside and he was obviously going to kiss me but he just stood there. He said something like "um" and then I actually don't remember, but then my sheer presence must have scared the crap out of him because then we just said bye and I left.

Anyways, after that, one day I had to write a paper but my printer wasn't working, so I had to go over to his house to print out something. There we were, chilling, sitting on the floor while I used his laptop to finish up the essay. And then he kissed me and it wasn't even a good kiss, but okay it was my first kiss so I was freaked out and I couldn't think straight and actually it only lasted for maybe a millisecond and I guess he was afraid to kiss me more than that because

a) I had braces and I bit him
b) he went back to playing some videogame.

oh the romance

Anyways, I also had an underwater kissing experience. We were at a water park.

This kiss also lasted for 1/100000 of a second and I couldn't SEE because I mean WATER IN MY EYES and he like pushed me under the water and for a second I thought he was trying to drown me until his face like smashed against my face and that counted as a kiss apparently. He "accidentally" tugged on my swim top and I swear to god this dude was hoping it would fall off.

Also, apparently I bit him again, but that's what happens when YOUR FACE SLAMS INTO ANOTHER PERSON'S FACE

That's about it - the other ones weren't as memorable (because these kisses were so freaking bad) and I didn't bite him. But then he broke up with me a while later, I think? because we never hung out and he wanted me to send him half-naked pictures of myself and I wouldn't and he was an idiot.

Three years later my little sister talks to him (she's best friends with his little sister, right) and he's like "oh yeah I just went out with her because I felt bad for her" and I could not stop laughing for a week.

and that's when I realized the full extent of human stupidity.

GUYS THAT'S CUTE AND ALL BUT THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH A BOY, AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO WINS THE CONTEST OF ROMANTIC MOMENTS HERE.

I only count first kisses if they last about three seconds, so I'm going to have to say the first time I kissed my current boyfriend (almost two years ago-wow!) We were on a walk in December and I was cold, so he put his arms around me and at first, we made eye contact and my heart was hammering and so I pulled away although I liked him a lot. A few minutes later, we're sitting on the ground and I'm shivering, so he tries again, looks at me and asks if he can kiss me and I said yes.

The rest is history. xD