sinola -- d10 [unf]

sinola
eighteen years
female
district ten



text -- 86653f
speech -- c29f75
other speech -- 2a4655

Apparently long hair is supposed to be tied back while working with the animals. I was given a long lecture and a stern finger-wag this morning for leaving mine around my shoulders. So what, I told bos man, If I leave it down? The cows like to chew on it while I milk them. Of course, sarcasm wasn't entirely called for in a situation like this one, but you should see him when he gets angry! His old face gets all flushed and red and his mustache twitches. It was hard not to make a crack at him. Anyway, after he put that in perspective for me I got to thinking about my life, how much it sucks, and how I could be so much more than just a farm girl living all alone in an isolated ranch with two rooms.

I want to be famous. I've heard of them famous people, out in the Capitol. The ones that sing or act in those shows that show on their television sets. They get payed big bucks and are revered by the entire city. They're loved, that's what they are. That's what I need is a little love. A little attention. I can sing a'ight. The farmhand likes listening to me while we eat our lunch in the afternoon. Sometimes I'll sing her the little tune grandmother sang to me when I was a babe. It's really soothing it is, 'specially after a long day's work.

Chore time. Who else will tidy the cabinets and sweep up the floors?

He called me ugly today. He called me ugly. Damn old Peter. Yelling at me about my hair and then about my looks. What's my face gonna do? Scare the animals away? Like if they could run they wouldn't have already, with all his hollerin'.

Maybe he's right. Am I ugly? I never really look in the mirror. Last time I checked though, I wasn't entirely unattractive. Sure, I'm not exactly the best in keeping up with my cleanliness. A shower a month is the usual around here though. We just can't spare all that water for a bath every night. That'd be ridiculous! The animals would go without having their water pails filled for weeks, just because we wanted to smell nice - for what? To go and tromp through the pig dung just to get stinky again?

My hair too, I s'pose. It wouldn't kill me to run a brush through it every now and then. What am I meant to do with it though? Honestly, it's more of a nuisance than a help! Been meaning to chop it all off, always forget. So exhausted lately, with waking at the crack of dawn to manage the farms, up late to get every last chore done, so as to be workin' on a clean slate on the morrow. All these tangles. I swear, things'd get stuck in 'em if I let 'em! Hehe, could ya imagine that? Walkin' around with odds and ends jutting from my head! That'd be a sight, I tell ya. Now that might send the animals running!

Maybe my lack of sleep goes hand in hand with my height. I could do with growin' a bit. There's always that supply up there on the top shelf that I have to have John grab. My fingers just scrape the bottom of the wood, where the splinters hang. My head goes to a normal-sized human being's shoulder! When ya have me and John standin' next to each other's pretty funny. I only go to the middle of his chest, even when I do my hair up on the top of my head! It is pretty funny.

What Peter said really struck a nerve, I guess. I s'pose I'm more aware of my body and how I appear than I figured, or that I wanted. I'll be thinkin' of what he said for a while now though, you can bet on that. Maybe if I sang real nice and pretty for the Capitol they'd send me a few tubes of their special make up. Hehe, I wish, right!