Brigit Hayes -- District 1

Aine is perfect. Jessalyn is beautiful. Clare does not need to rely on her appearance to reach what she desires. And then there is myself, Brigit Hayes, plain, bland, nothing too spectacular. She doesn't mind too much. Beauty attracts attention, attentions calls for a reaction, reactions often involve emotions, and emotions are her worst enemies. Instead, she embraces the fact that the only unique aspect of her is the reddish hair she inherited along with her sister Aine, while the others all strutted with their shades of brown. The color alone motivated her to grow some length to her naturally straightened hair, but the majority of the time she keeps it wrapped in a bun on the top of her head, aiming for a more "professional" look since she is indeed a business woman running their father's successful jewelry company. One disadvantage of inheriting the fiery orange locks were the freckles that came along with it, though Aine had been fortunate enough to escape them with her well-sculpted genes. Freckles litter her body from head to toe, and while she uses make-up to cover the ones scattered across her pale face there is a never a time she can conceal them completely, especially those upon her shoulders. As a result, she tends to wear clothing that covers most of her skin and rarely enjoys adorning herself in dresses. The only time she will willingly show skin in public is when she is at the training center, tossing knives at stationary dummies like always.

Brigit considers herself average, leaning more toward the pretty side of the garden but far too plain in comparison to her sisters. Their faces are lovely and pleasant to look at, as if they were marble statues carved by Gods who blessed those that did not foolishly fear their own emotions as she did, while she sat among the shadow dwellers on park benches where the normals would be welcome. An impassive, dull expression slowly eats away at the girl who could have a shining smile and passionate blue eyes, or perhaps cheeks permanently tinted pink from the amount of smiling that would turn her life into a radiant ray of sunshine. However, this is not the case, and instead of smiles there are always thin frowns and a neutral purse of her plump lips, always a faded haze in blue eyes that ruined their vibrant tint, and always a face a few shades too pale. If anything, Brigit is a beautiful rose that never had the chance to blossom, and instead of embracing this potential she accepts who she is and tolerates what her genes had to offer, for a mere reflection in the mirror does not matter to her when it is her well-being straying close to danger - that danger being her own father.

Pride is the only present sin - a dangerous one that I should never, ever feel - when she is immersed in the sweat summoned by focus, determination, and physical labor offered by the training academy's various activities and obstacle courses. She may not be the elegant princess or the happy-go-lucky beauty who attracts men by a simple flip of her hair, but she is swift, agile, with the legs of a tiger propelling her across the solid floors as she uses her long fingers and nimble hands to toss knives into targets, a skill she knows she is excellent at. She is rather short for her age, granting her the advantage of speed and balance, with a petite figure and long arms. Her body lacks the slim curves every girl desires, but where she misses femininity she gains muscle and uses it to her advantage in training. She is, after all, a Hayes, and career training is of top priority. If it ever comes time for Brigit to be reaped (though she would rather avoid it, change is never something she admires unless it is something she can control), it will not be beauty that leads her to the crown. If anything, it will be her diligence, experience, and athletic body that launch her to victory, because princesses never win the Games.

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I am normal. She is not too boisterous, too angry, she is not a dictator or a girl craving power. In fact, there is little about her that is strange - until one gazed past the outer shell to delve deep into the mechanics. I am quiet. She was always the reserved, timid one, not afraid to play with her sisters but too content in observing to make the effort and join them. With the influence of her strict father holding high expectations of her she grew even more silent, speaking only when spoken to unless involved in a casual conversation with her siblings. She is more of a learner than an active participant, absorbing knowledge through books and observations as she quietly sits in the distance and watches with a keen eye. I am shy. Okay, perhaps not too shy. With those whom she is close she could easy let the humorous sarcasm drip from her tongue like bittersweet venom if she wasn't so afraid of what pain expressing herself might bring forth. People often mistake silence for introversion, believing that they see one side of her mask when in reality they are seeing the other. She is silent not because she is shy; she is silent because she has no choice. Professionalism is of the utmost importance when under the supervision of her father, and defying him would be denying herself a dose of happiness - or what she "defines" as happiness, though she may be fooling herself into believing her own fabricated definitions and lies.

I am spoiled. Obey orders. Speak only when spoken to, never shout or scream for any reason, and most of all, never show true emotions. Failure to comply will only result in severe punishment delivered by her ruthless father - other than that, Brigit is free to do as she pleases and claim whatever she desires so as long as her behaviors matches his expectations. She is a puppet meant only to lead a business for money, and it is because of this harsh treatment that she keeps the potential starlight locked within her like a princess trapped in a castle's dungeon of rotten floors and stone walls weathered at the edges. I am afraid. This is perhaps the most difficult emotion to conceal - fear. And what does the poor girl fear? Fear itself. Fear is an emotion, a weakness, a disobedience. In her world revolved around professionalism, propriety, and strict obedience, there is no room for emotions. Brigit Hayes is not allowed to feel, for doing so would invoke her father's fiery wrath - a wrath she knows all to well. It is the wish to avoid punishment at all costs that summons the fear, and it drains the energy in every cell in her body just to erect the barricade to hide it. It wasn't just fear to be concerned about, however; happiness, sadness, anger, pride, surprise, contempt. All were too dangerous and so so forbidden that the the thought of feeling the sparks of any dwindling old emotion tempts her into plummeting toward fear's abyss, a hell where she didn't belong. And that is why she decided not to feel at all.

I am secretive. There is always something to hide. The inevitable emotions lurking within any hormonal teen threaten to emerge unexpectedly at any moment, yet Brigit has trained herself in the art of meditation, focus, and relaxation to suppress the feelings and choke the light of life out of herself until she resembled a dwarf star in the night sky, too faded and too small to be seen. That is the easiest way to describe the second side of her - a flickering light, like a damage light bulb. When the light is off, there's nothing to see, nothing to recognize and react to. When the light is on,, shining vibrantly into curious eyes, one can see it all, and that is exactly what Brigit wants to avoid. Philophobia, they call it - she searched the definition herself. A fear of love and loving. Love is such a strong attachment for family members to share, yet as much as Brigit wants to protect the naive beauty Jessalyn and relate to her beloved brother Leo there is just no risking it. She fears fear itself and every emotion threatening to expose her vulnerable side to her cruel father. She was trained to do so, to show nothing and feel nothing if she wanted to maintain a neutral relationship with her father. Emotions are always there to creep and scratch at her insides, but she pushes as hard as she can to protect her outer shell. And now it may be too late to fix her.

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They were so young when it happened - too young, even. Too young to lose the shimmering jewel that brought perfection upon a wealthy, spoiled family complete with luxurious food, fine career training, expensive clothes, and even servants. Lia was their everything - her everything, and little time was taken to appreciate her as their loving mother before she mysteriously vanished into oblivion never to be seen or heard of again. Where did she go? Nobody knows, or so the children think. She disappeared suspiciously during a critical point of one of their father's shady "deals" in the business Brigit did not understand and did not want to understand. Aine was his personal helper in that aspect of business, while Brigit was cast into the official one where she figured she'd rather belong. After her strange disappearance, predictions regarding her fate came to light. Leo, the oldest sibling, still clings to the woman and her kind legacy and believes she is still alive, and that one day she will return to them when the time is right. Aine, on the other hand, insists that the woman is dead and will never come back no matter what. Then again, wasn't Leo the one our mother favored? Yes, he was, and perhaps this is the reason for the difference in their attachments to her. Leo loved, and Aine spited. Brigit, meanwhile, missed their mother, for it was the occurrence of her disappearance that lead Enlon Hayes into changing her.

Tyranny dominated the Hayes household soon after Lia's departure. Leo is the mama's boy, and Enlon's object of scorn. Aine is the favored child - confident, manipulative, a prodigy, the one mother might as well have called "monster". She is the true heir of Enlon Hayes, the one who handles his business and claims the title of star child of the Hayes family. Jessalyn is the acrobat, the strange, happy child, but also Brigit's fraternal twin sister despite how opposite the two seem. Brigit always notices how their father seems to disregard Jessalyn and her oddities, similar to how he neglects to consider the youngest child, Clara, as anything but useful because of her unseeing eyes. She is almost jealous - jealous because Jessalyn can be who she wants to be while she is his puppet, the one he controls and molds into a girl she doesn't want to be so she could lead his business into endless success. At the same time, however, Brigit wants to protect her beloved twin. She may be a talented acrobat and capable of handling herself in the training center, but she was unbelievably naive and oblivious, especially regarding her own beauty. She is beautifully blinding, attracting the attention of too many men to count, and while Brigit admires her spirit and grace (if only I could have what you have, Jess) she knows the child still needs protection, especially when she follows Aine so blindly. Does she even realize what she is doing? Brigit asks herself this question all the time, and each time the answer arrives blank.

The past is always different from the present. Before the chaos started, Brigit never played with her sisters, but only watched. Back then, she understood everything and anything about their family, even why mother decided to treat Aine like the problem child she appeared to be. Once the change happened, though, everything turned to hell. Leo is the only sibling remaining she can relate to, because he understands. He understands what it feels like to face their father's fierce wrath. Only Aine seems to recognize his good side, while Leo and Brigit remain in the shadows striving to grasp his attention and stay away from the evil side of him they never want to witness. Yet, Enlon isn't the only family member to fear. Aine is a fearsome opponent, skilled in combat and weapon-wielding, and to stray close to her path is to submit oneself to personal punishment. Brigit happens to be the best knife-tosser the Hayes family could offer; she is even better than Aine. However, she is forced to hold back this talent when the older prodigy is nearby, to avoid clashing with someone she perhaps may not be able to handle, especially when Aine is their fathers favorite child. Things have changed so much, Brigit hardly remembers a time when she could actually feel emotions. Now, it is just Brigit and the business. Now, it is just Brigit aiming just to maintain a somewhat positive relationship with her approving father. Now, it is just the Brigit who wishes she can have so much more, yet never finding the inner courage to find it. And I'm not even allowed to hate it.