Naveen Casovnik - D6 - FIN

It's not everyday that you take a look in the mirror and admire yourself. Oh wait, I mean, yes it is everyday. Someone so young doesn't let themselves become infatuated with their appearance, unless they are an actress - like me. It's easy not to care in front of people you know but when it comes to being on stage there is always a way you can make yourself look better for the crowd. Usually I just let the others prep me for the stage and that requires staring into dressing room mirrors and smiling when they ask me how I look. So, yeah, you could say I know my own body and face pretty well.

Most of the time, I find myself caked in make-up, practicing over and over again what I need to know for the next show. But when I'm finally able to take a break and get away from the stage, I make sure to knock down to minimal make-up. Besides, I'd rather not cover my natural beauty with make-up meant to portray another character. My eyes are naturally green, hair a natural brunette, wavy and long over my shoulders, and I'm slim and a bit taller than most girls at sixteen years old. I'm probably about 5'10" and nearly 120 pounds which I suppose makes me noticeable even when I don't really want to be. My skin is darker than most and I get that trait straight from my mom who was always much darker than my father ever was. In fact, I don't think I got any physical traits from my father - I look exactly like my mom.

The only difference between us is probably the way we dress. I don't really enjoy wearing the provocative outfits that I am forced into for some of my stage acts, an would much rather just throw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt and prance around with no shoes on - I mean, at least I'm like that around everybody else at the Opera House. Being in public and around people I don't know I try to look a little more presentable for the sake of not looking out of the ordinary and blending in with the crowd. But usually, I'm not around people I don't know so I'm in some comfortable sweatpants and a loose tee. I'm always trying to smile because I just don't understand why you wouldn't in a world filled with such great people.

And as an actress I try as hard as I can to keep my roles separate from my real life and who I really am. Because when you lose touch of the real you, you just become another character in a storyline. And when you turn into that character, you can never rediscover yourself as a real person.

I'd like to think that I get all of my personality traits form my mom, but she was always telling me how I acted so much like my father. I love to be with friends and I am proud of myself when I am around the people I know best and then I get all quiet and anxious around strangers. Everyone asks why I chose acting as something I wanted to pursue if I was so afraid of people, but when I am on stage, only the people I know are there. It's pretty easy to keep your focus on the people you love and know. It is so easy for me to block out the rest of the world and just have fun up on stage with my friends - my new family. When the crowd cheers or gasps in awe, I have discovered I can't hear any of it and all I can focus on is the precision of my portrayal of a character and the eyes of my colleagues.

For me, it is easy to throw a smile and a joke into the world. I'm not the person to dampen spirits or even throw my real opinion out into the world out of fear that I might upset someone. When there is just so much horrible things that go on in the world, I don't think anyone should be around to ruin a day that actually decides to turn out right. And I know that everyone in the Opera House has a past whether they care to share it or not, so I don't see the point in ruining someone else's day more than it probably already is. Putting a smile on someones face or hearing a laugh escape from their lungs is just one way I like to contribute to the cast that has given me so much. And that is why I try to make sure I treat every single one of them (even Xana) like my family.

My temperament. Oh, I tell you - I can withstand any kind of abuse. I don't anger easily and don't much care when someone makes a mistake in the lines or ruins everything before a big show because it is all just a minor bump in the road. Although, I know if you were to tell Mercury or Hestia or Codrus or Theseus that they might think a bit differently. I try to protect and solve disputes between everyone equally, but somehow it seems I am always helping Riordan out of a mess. I never knew such a sweet guy could mess up so many times - accidentally. But I can see his heart is in the right place and I am sure to let Xana know it too. That may be the only time I let my anger flare a little;e is when Xana decides to try and kill Riordan with a high heel because he accidentally spilled Mercury's coffee onto one of her cutest outfits. Sometimes Xana can just get on my nerves ... Maybe I should take a pair of scissors to her vocal cords before she decides to ruin more outfits for the next performance.

But I do worry and care about everyone, even if that means siding with Xana every once in a while. I'm always having to walk by Mercury's door and make sure the lights are out or try to coax her into taking a nap during the day by taking up some of the tasks that need to get done before the next show. Or maybe I will try to keep Theseus or Xana from forcefully scolding Riordan about something he screwed up. Or perhaps I am watching Rio diligently in the hopes that I can keep him getting into trouble for trying to help out. Or sometimes I'm even trying make sure Codrus is having a decent day - and honestly, I don't find him all that terrible to be around. And as much as I hate it, I help re-check costumes and dressing rooms with Hestia when she feels she needs to check everything another five time. Yeah, everyone is important to me and unique in their own way and I love all of them for the light they bring into my day every time I wake up.

Mostly I just try not to turn out like my parents. I don't lie to anyone, even if it would be for their own good, and I wouldn't ever turn into something I'm not - especially not for other people. That might be the only way I am actually tough, otherwise I'm really just a soft, plushy toy. Come on! I'm a girl - I like kittens and cute guys and the way every snowflake is different and the smell of cherry blossoms and pretty much every possible beauty in nature. But I do have that side that is tough and hardened to the core - and I manufactured that part of me specifically so that I don't change into my parents or just burst into tears in the middle of a rehearsal or think that I am in love with someone who clearly isn't in love with me. I will never let that tough part soften, and the day that I do will be the day I make sure to kill myself.

My life started with something that looked like love. So, my father told my mom that he loved her. And like most young and stupid people, they thought they had to seal their love with something more than a kiss and hug goodnight. And somehow I managed to appear. Except ... It wasn't really love that my mom saw in my father, but instead a lie. So when my mom told him that she was pregnant, he shuffled out the door and ran away. He didn't care about my mom; he didn't care about the little ball of me that was growing inside my mom. He just up and left - didn't want anything to do with my mom when she was pregnant but everything to do with her when she wasn't. I suppose that makes it my fault that he left then, right?

I was born, a new guy right next to my mom, letting her squeeze his hand. My dad. My real dad. The guy I decided to call dad for 14 years. The guy I believed was my real dad for the first 14 years of my life. The guy who made me believe a huge lie that would change and shape the way my life was. And then I was just 2 years old and I had a little brother. And just about a year later, I had another little brother. Except, I didn't know that I was barely related to them. We were only half alike. I used to think that my entire family looked exactly the same - that our smiles and our laughs and everything about us was all the same. And my parents would agree and just smile along like nothing was wrong, like it wasn't all just a big illusion meant to protect me. And I suppose that it did, until the day my real dad decided to prance into my life unexpectedly. But, we should probably save that little clip of information about me for later.

I'm 7 or 8 years old and playing with my brothers - and by playing I mean wrestling around - and I decide that it would be easier to win if I bit them. And when my dad came storming back into the living room, not listening to me and only to my brothers, I probably should've guessed something was up. Or when I was never praised when I got good grades the way my younger brothers did. Or the way that the neighbors turned away from me when I said the word "Dad." in front of them. And then my parents were always fighting and my mom started to drink a lot and my dad started being gone more and more and then eventually when I was about 10, the guy I called my dad was gone. Just like my real father. Up and gone in an instant. Me, my brothers, and my mom were left behind to try and earn money for ourselves. I was so little - too young to understand how extreme circumstances like that were ... And then my mom was always out super late, dressing in clothing I had never seen her wear before, and drinking and drinking and drinking like it was a sort of medicine that could ease the pain.

And I never understood any of it until it was too late for me to stop it.

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Tears are streaming down my face in endless rivers. It isn't like her to stay out so late, not like this. I can feel my heart pounding in my ears and when my brothers soft sighs of sleep attempt to soothe my fears, I push them away. I don't need to be consoled; I need to know what's going on. I sit in front of the door, waiting for it to swing open and for my mother to stumble in the door with some ridiculous hairdo, fishnet over her legs, and heels so high that they force her to have to duck under the door frame. Except tonight is different from the rest because when she bursts through the door, she isn't frowning and alone but instead she is laughing and accompanied. "Well, hey girl, wanna meet a friend of mine?" A man struts in behind her, obviously as drunk as my mom, and all I can do is stare, horrified. I know what my mom does in order to pay for our food and such, but she has never in her entire life brought a man home with her. Tears are no longer streaming down my face, but instead, are blinking in complete astonishment. "Mom, it's 3 in the morning and ..." "Oh hush now, darling - say hi to your daddy, wouldya? I turn my eyes to the man in the door. "Howd'ya doing baby girl? Nice to meet you." Their laughter is overwhelming and I have a fear that the tears might reappear in my eyes. "Don't look so dumbfounded, Naveen ... Did ya really think your brother daddy's was yours too?"

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And then I ran. The very next day I was gone - packed like all my other fathers before me. It was so easy - such an amazing thing. I knew my brothers would get out of the house. I knew that their dad would get them out of the house. He had been wanting to take them for years - and now that I wasn't part of the package he would no doubt take them with him. Somewhere safe and away from my mom. And so I just kept running until I couldn't run any further and I ended up at the Tempus Opera House. where I discovered what I enjoyed doing. Acting. I had never realized it before, but when I saw the others up on stage I couldn't help but want to be them. Even a shy little girl like me likes to play dress-up and pretend they are a princess or something. And so, each night I would practice in an abandoned apartment near Tempus and dream of being part of the cast. And then one day when they had some auditions to be a part of the cast, I fought the urge to back down and auditioned for the part. I didn't think I was all that great, especially compared to all the other seasoned young people that were there, but I ended up becoming a part of it - the Tempus Opera House.