Rhenium "Rhen" James Rutherford, District 1

Name: Rhenium “Rhen” James Rutherford
Age: 17

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You wonder why you wonder when
You wonder how now and then
How you became who you’ve become
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When you look at me, what do you see? A handsome, well-manicured, athletic boy, right? You’re probably guessing that I’ve had things handed to me. That there has been a whole world open to me that others could only dream of, you know? I’ve never really had to work for much, other than as training for the games. That’s one of the reasons why I look the way I do—the only thing I’ve ever really been committed to was improving my fitness. It’s meant determination and sacrifice, but nothing that most other people have faced. But it sure does have a tendency to turn heads, even in polite company. Okay, so I have a bit of vanity to me. But I use it to my advantage when I need to. That’s just the way life works around here.

I’ve never worried about being mediocre. That’s a word that I abhor. There is nothing worse in life than the average. I’ve never been marginal, and I never will be. That’s one thing my family has managed to get out of me. I’m strong, handsome, and I never wear anything that you might not mistake for being a capitolite’s. Sure, I shouldn’t place so much importance on my look. I know that. But anyone that says looks don’t matter has either been really lucky in their life, or is unsuccessful. I don’t do it just for my family, though. I do it because I want to get out of here... I want to figure out a way to live my life on my own terms, without having to worry so much about the whims of everyone else. Maybe if I’m a Victor someday, I’ll be able to just disappear to wherever I want. For now, I know that I’ve got to keep working, and to keep improving. We all have our parts to play, and this is mine.

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I suppose there are things that are important to me. My family’s wishes are pretty high up there. I have an older brother, Xeno, and an older sister, Ali.
The two of them are impressive—smart, well liked, well married. They are everything I wish I could be, really. Xeno is a partner in his business trading and selling other people’s money. My sister works in law, and she’s particularly educated and respected in her field. I just hope that as the youngest, the best is yet to come. My parents want and expect the best out of me, so there’s that pressure. I guess I feel like I have so much to live up to, that I hold myself up to a pretty high standard.

The worst for me though is when other people can’t be themselves. I mean—there’s so much that you can be, especially in this district. Fakery is really the worst, to me. When people present this vision of themselves but it’s nothing toward who they really are. There are a lot of people who don’t want to face reality as to who they really are, and I try pretty hard not to be something I’m not. If I’m not good at something, I work hard to get better, but I’m able to admit to myself when something just isn’t going to happen. It’s not healthy for someone to bang his head against the wall if they might be more talented at something else.

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I think sometimes I come across as cold to people who don’t really know me. I like to observe and make sure that I really know someone before I let them inside. I mean, it’s hard for me to open up when there are so many people around here that are willing to use you. I guess that’s why I’m more of a loaner at parties and functions that I’m dragged to. People know that I can be friendly, but it just takes some time. It’s not like I don’t like to have fun. It’s just that I think a lot of people are pretty childish… that a lot of things that people tend to do are just plain mean. And I don’t have time for that.

My family has always been a part of the upper-crust. I think my grandfather did something in gold on my father’s side, and my mother’s family all worked in gemstones and jewelry. They never grew up wanting, and with the capitol always in need of more, their wealth grew. And so my mother and father have worked for some of their fortune, mind you, but it’s not like they would have to work. A lot of what they do now is just mingling and mixing with the powerful and elite. They take me along with them (now that my brother and sister have both escaped) to introduce me to all of the kingmakers in the district. It’s interesting, this little circle of men and women that hold power for non-capitolites.

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They all are particularly phony, like fish flopping around here and there, trying to see where they can get just a little bit more. I don’t hate my parents for playing this game. But I do know that this isn’t something that I want. I want to live a life that I can be proud of, and do something that I’m passionate about. I don’t care about the gold that comes along with this life. But I know that there’s more to be had than this. It’s all just a smokescreen, anyway. Get too close, and it’s nothing. We’re all still under rule of the capitol, no matter how much money we have. And those who can’t get that… well, they need to wake up and understand where real power comes from.

My mother and father see me as the piece that could advance them, just like my brother and sister have, in society. They say that they’ll find a nice girl for me to marry, and that I’ll settle down and maybe, just maybe, I’ll work my way into being accepted by the capitol. Surely their time has passed to move on, but my generation might have the opportunity. They see what I really like as a phase. That, just like my desire to just be myself, to find a passion, they see me liking boys as a phase. They don’t think it’s so terrible for me to want to be happy—they have just seen others go before me that were held back for it. Like I said, they just want the best.

And so I see it too. Right now I don’t even know what I want. I’m still so young, and there’s still so much to explore. But I just hope that instead of being stuck in some shell, I’ll figure out how to play the game in a way that I won’t really have to. There’s got to be someone out there who can teach me that. I suppose I just have to find them.

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Codeword: Odair