Jasper Aarden: District 2

There was a time when my hair used to be short…but I have a thing with scissors. Not just scissors, but all blades really. It’s not that I’m scared of them, it’s just, I don’t feel comfortable with people holding them so close to my head. I do it my self when it get’s too long…but it doesn’t look very good. District two is full of people who get their hair styled in different ways; I just do the same trimming every time. As for the color, it’s a pretty boring dark-brown; it’s not as dark as my sister’s, but still, it’s pretty dark.

My eyes are blue. People who knew my mother say I have her eyes. I share a lot of things with mother. I wish I got to know her, I think it would have made my life easier. But anyway, back to my looks. I’m not particularly ugly; Once upon a time, I photographed well. But, now I have trouble keeping still sometimes. My mind wanders a lot, I probably daydream more than most people, and you can see it in my facial expressions.

As for my smile, it’s a rare sight to see. Sometimes I think my teeth are too small for my mouth. My lips are thin; I guess that’s something people look at. My body, well, I guess I’m pretty skinny. I’m not ripped or anything, and I’m definitely not muscular. I guess, when it’s all been described…I just look, average.

Doesn’t mean people view me that way…average. There’s a lot more appearances than the way I look. I tend to fidget a lot. I have this thing where I pace around and shrug my shoulders sometimes. I tell people it’s to ease the tension in my back from pulling the bow so often, but honestly, I think it’s just a habit now. I stretch out my hands a lot…I use the same excuse for that. Doesn’t matter though, people tend to think I’m weird anyway, and well, maybe I am.

My personality. It’s a little hard to describe. Emotionally, I tend to fluctuate a lot. It’s nothing extreme really, but there are days where I just feel…depressed. Sometime I feel nothing. Other times, I’m what most people consider normal. Everyone has a different range of emotions…and I think I’ve grown comfortable with mine, even if everyone else hasn’t.

It’s really hard for me to get excited about anything, but there are some things that I always enjoy. I’m happiest when I’m using the bow. You see, my and my sister Jade is Careers, but I’m not the best at training. She’s really good…one of the best in the district even. She’s always trying to show me new tricks…but I’m only interested in archery.

I’m a very anxious person. I’m often aware of everything that goes around me, sometimes a little too much. Sometimes I think people are talking about me, and they’re not. But sometimes they are, I know it. My sister tells me I’m being too paranoid, but I think she notices it sometimes too. Sometimes they even do it to my face…actually, most of the time it’s to my face. I’m not a violent person though…or confrontationally really. I prefer to stay away from the heart of the problem…that’s why I’m so drawn to the bow.

Blades aren’t my only fears. I don’t particularly like the dark. I know it’s a childish fear, but I don’t like not being able to see. People who don’t mind much take comfort in the fact that they can hear things…but that only makes things worse for me. Sometimes I can’t differentiate sounds…I forget people’s voices. I think people play tricks on me; actually, I know they do. They change their voices to freak me out, even my father. It’s not pleasant, not at all. People should just leave me alone.

I guess I’ll start with what I don’t remember. I don’t remember my father marrying my mother. I don’t remember the accident, and I definitely don’t remember my mother dying. I don’t remember my mother at all. They say she died when I was two…I remember being two briefly…but I have no memories of my mother. Just thinking about it makes me upset.

My sister has always been close to me; we’re twins, I’m a few seconds older, but you wouldn’t tell that from the way we act. Jade has always been more social than I have. She’s never had any trouble making friends, and if there was anyone who didn’t want to be her friend, it was only because she had such a weird brother. I’ve always been socially awkward.

I’m not jealous though. Even though I’m a little older…she’s always acted like a mother to me. It’s probably because our dad isn’t really involved…all he does is spend all of our mother’s money.

When my sister and I were four, we entered Career training. She seemed natural at it, but I was never really good. Things haven’t changed much since then. I really like watching her fight, she’s really good, and being a girl doesn’t make her any worse of a fighter. But strength isn’t what makes her so good, it’s how she can get around so quietly and quickly

When I was eight, dad wanted me to become a Peacekeeper but they didn’t deem me fit enough. That’s fine with me; I don’t have what it takes. Sometime that year, I began dreaming. I mean, I always dreamed, but since then, I always remember my dreams after I wake up. My dreams are lucid…that means I’m fully aware that I’m dreaming, and I’m in complete control. Sometimes, when I’m awake, I hope I’m dreaming…but I can’t just be asleep all the time.

Oh, and recently, I’ve started to develop theories. I think my dad had something to do with my mother’s death. I haven’t told anyone but my sister, and when I told her my reasons; she simply said they didn’t make sense. I don’t really remember my reasons now…but I’m sure they were good. I’m sure he did it, but I won’t say a word.