Bala Guppy {District 4} [Done]

[ooc: they're boats... I started coding and... reached the point of no return so... yeah... XD]

::Bala Guppy::
::16::
::District 4::

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When I was a boy--------------We never really found a way-----------------So they decided
----We tried a way-----------------To make it work for us in-------------------It was better for
-------To make it so-------------------That there were too many--------------The two of them
-----The water just--------------------Holes in this ship for it to---------------To be apart than
------Drip, drip, dripped-------------Make it to the shoreline--------------For us to be here
----Down into the galley.-----------Without sinking down---------------Together.

And then the rains dripped down, and into the galley, and splashed all over our faces. And I
-could see Mom, Dad, and Mal and Cat, but it was blurry. And I tried to be the one that
----made sure that we righted the ship. But it didn’t come, it didn’t come. So we split in half
------the twos of us, far and away, until we were not what we were before. Just a memory of
--------what we were before, because all that is foolish. I was just ten when they crashed
----------and made a hole that could not be filled. My father saying that it was her—she
-------------made the hole and would have to sink on her own. And then she chose, I
---------------will not forget, my two sisters over me. Because she said that I was too
----------------much like him for her to take me in. Funny, I don’t see myself like
--------------my father at all.
--------------He is just
--------------A fish
--------------not
--------------me

Sail

-----------------------------------And for me, I do
-----------------------------------what I can to
-----------------------------------make his
-----------------------------------life
-----------------------------------well.
I am not much taller than my mother. It’s a shameful thing, really, considering that
-when it comes to food and rations, we don’t have to worry too much. Fishing
--gives us more than our fill, and the freedom that the sea brings is much
----like paradise that we may never get outside of the district. I suppose
-----some might say that I’m defective—I should be tall and broad
--------shouldered naturally like my own father. But I’ve had to
---------struggle my whole life to get the way I am now. And
-----------it’ll never be as good as him, not the way he’s so
-----------naturally handsome
-----------and good
-----------looking.

Galley

--I have been told I have a young face, one that speaks to innocence and goodness. I hope
---sometimes I feel like I am not good at all. I lie about some things, to some people. Like
----starters. Because sometimes the girls ask questions about me and, I for the life of me
-----who it is that I really feel anything about. There’s never been anyone that’s hoisted
---------my sails. Just kind of keep to myself mostly. Sometimes I stare at the older
--------boys and think, they’re strong. But the moment passes because… well,
-------I don’t really know what I’m to feel about them. I am still very young—
-----still reapable, still here—and the older boys seem interested in such
----different things. I still look like a child, and they never look at me.

funny how
life does
that to
teach
lessons

I swim as much as I can now. I have done since I was a child. My body is something that I can control, and I like it that it’s something for me and no one else. Well, they didn’t really
--want me to start training. My father thinks that games are futile—there is no use in sending
---his sons and daughters off with a want to kill if it doesn’t give them more of a chance
-----to be the ones that wear the crown at the end of the games. He’s right, too. So few
------careers wind up with what they want it makes me think that all this training
--------would be better for something else. But at the least it lets me think
---------that even though I am small in size, I can protect myself from
-----------those who might try to hurt me. Or better, that I can work
-------------long hours on the boat, hauling in fish and shrimp
--------------without getting tired. I do this for him, too,
----------------even when he doesn’t realize it.




-----------------------------I don’t see very much of my sisters anymore. When I
--------------------------get the chance to be with them, I used to like to tell them
----------------stories about fantastic voyages to the ends of the earth. They would
------sit there, wide eyed, believing that our little shrimp boat had crossed the horizon
----and into some nether region beyond these shores. They didn’t know yet that we were trapped here—as pretty as it is—to spend our live in the ocean and to fish, day in, day out, until our hearts couldn’t take it anymore. It’s not a bad life at all, really. What with the food to eat and the red skies at night, the gentle breezes and the mild winters, it’s enough to make you never want to leave. I’ve never looked out into the distance, anyway, it never interested me in finding something beyond here. I like to dive down, deep beneath the waves instead. There’s no greater thrill than getting down as deep as I can, underneath the pristine waves and into the mud. I like the rush of the burn in my lungs as I scramble up
toward the surface, never sure if I’m going to make it in time. I’ve gotten much better at diving down deep—I like to flip off of our boat when we get to the open water—and my father
-------likes to watch me. He gets scared when I go down for a good while, thinking that I’m
--------never coming up again. It’s a thrill then, to feel the gold stars swell around my eyes
---------as I race towards the glimmering surface, ready for my lungs to explode and for
-----------me not to make it out. The near blackouts send a fiery burn through my
-------------whole body and I love it. From the moment that I stand, back to the
---------------water, on the edge of our gently rocking boat to the time I hit the
------------------[/color]very lowest point I can, it’s all wonderful. A freedom for me.




-------I wish there was a way to put them back together. It’s been seven years now that I
---------go back and forth, underneath the water, as far down as I can, and back up to the
---------surface. Seven long years of them yelling and sulking and blaming one another.
--------------I don’t wish for a miracle, because I know that there’s nothing between them
-------------------to put them back together. Once you’ve run aground the only thing left to
----------------------do is abandon the ship. That’s what they did, anyway. But I say that it
------------------could’ve been better for us, something better than shuffling back and
--------------forth between two homes. One, on the boat with my father and a few
----------of the crew, spending so many days, weeks, months with them that I
--------forget my sister’s faces; the other a bungalow on the beach, pristine
-----and orderly, locked away and uninviting for me. I wouldn’t want the two

of them
together,
I suppose

-----------But sometimes I don’t know if I want to get to the surface if I have to choose.
I suppose, the best thing to do now is to let things settle. In a few years I’ll be free to
---do as I please, and then no one will stop me. I’ll be able to work on my own little boat,
----and swim my own way. And I can decide who I see, when I see them, how I see them.
------Because that’s what I need, now. I want to start making my own way, and figuring out
--------things for myself. Sometimes though… I want someone to show me the way, I guess.
----------My mother almost never says anything to me if she can help it. And my father
------------tends to speak in riddles—saying things that are axioms and thinking
-------------he’s particularly clever. I say he has too much hot air and
--------------saltwater in the brain to be of any real use. Someday,
------------maybe, I’ll
------------figure it
------------all out.
------------For
------------me.

codeword: odair
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