Cold Water [axel]

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

I lay there, simply relaxing in the sun when I noticed a small shadow in my peripheral vision. For that moment, I merely passed it off as a sea gull flying above me, or something of the sort. There wasn't any danger for me here, so when some stranger grabbed my shoulders, I was startled, and turned to see who it was. Immediately when I saw who it was, my guard was raised. He looked like a career, like me, but I wasn't like him.

Hostility was building in my chest, but I held a calm expression on my face, almost friendly. He was bigger than me, probably stronger than me, and the last thing that I really needed was a fight. I could still feel the bruise on my eye from the last time I let my mouth get the better of me. What would overreacting to this do for me? In a fraction of a second, I analyzed his form; muscular, tall, curley brown hair, and everything that I wasn't. Sure, there were girls that liked how I looked, but that was more of the "he's so adorable" sort of thing that really got on my nerves.

Shit... I'm not developing a short guy complex, am I?

I mean I'm not... terribly short. I'm only fifteen, and I'm 5' 7", I'll probably have a growth spurt before then. But until then, that still doesn't change the fact that this guy was here, right now, and waiting for me to say something. He wanted a reaction out of me, like most people do when they'd mess with me. I won't give him that satisfaction.

Giving a slight cough, I finally spoke, "Well that was... abrupt. Can I help you?"

The words out of my mouth sounded better in my head, but coming out they were quiet and I stuttered. If he could even make out whatever the hell I was saying, it'd be a miracle. Meanwhile, I sound like a nervous idiot. If I ever do get reaped, how am I supposed to make alliances in the arena if I can't make a decent presentation of myself? Different problems for I different time. I shoved my thoughts away, and waited for this other person to speak.

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

And it began with his less-than amused retort, "Ummmm, I'm just taking a guess here at what you said, you mostly mumbled whatever that jargon was." My eyes darkened as he continued on, "I don't think there is anything you can help me with, after all I'm at least twice your size. Just didn't know anyone else was out here though, usually it's just me and the water keeping each other company.

Listening to him only aided in the growth of this deep seed of hostility in my chest. He sounded... reasonable. His words made me feel foolish for getting so worked up over this, and this only inflated my frustration. It made me feel like the bad guy here. It made me feel like I should like him, and that I was stupid for not being able to communicate.

I am stupid.

Once again I found myself lost in an internal conflict hidden behind my face's stony mask. This wasn't a situation that stubbornness fixed, it only made it worse. I couldn't shrug off these feelings of resentment that swirled in my heart like liquid midnight. And I couldn't hide the disdain that had hijacked my chest. Stubbornness and pride, damnable feelings that had cornered me here before this guy. This larger, and superior male.

" As for whatever was abrupt, well life is full of surprises you you had better get used to things being abrupt. You look like you're training for the games how can you expect to survive if I just caught you off guard. I'm not even trained to do that kind of stuff, what will you do when you're faced with real competition?" the older male said, before introducing himself, " The name is Panama by the way, didn't mean to get the jump on you like that, well, okay I did, but I didn't think you would react that way."

I felt my mask crack as my jaw stiffened, and my molars ground into each other. Panama was right, and I knew that he was right, but that didn't mean I liked it. He was the sort of guy that I disliked, and always avoided. Everything about him was irritating me: he was bigger, stronger, and worst of all was that he was right.

Not wanting to seem completely put-off by his little surprise, I met his hand in the middle and gave it a firm shake. If anything, my hands were strong. My fingers were long and dextrous, and callouses had left my skin with a leathery texture. They were a worker's hands: rubbed raw by rope, and strengthened by a thousand knots and the forging of a thousand more fishing hooks. It was real, unlike my muscles built by working out on the long stretch of sandy beach.

As of then, I could feel a little bit of my anger melt with the handshake, and clearly I spoke, "Crucis. You smell a bit like my father, so you're a fisherman I'd guess?"

I glanced past his shoulder, and looked at the lapping waves of the ocean and felt my tensed muscles relax. While still annoyed, I was feeling less hostile, and more willing to take in what this guy had to say. My own reason was returning to me, and with it, the benefit of the doubt. I had to remind myself that not everybody has cruel intentions towards me. I'm not that special. Besides. No need to make an enemy that you can't take on.

He Does,He Says,He Hears,He Thinks


~Crucis Greenlaw

I felt my shoulder's loosen, slowly. It was like the melting of ice, little by little, they melted before falling and allowing me to relax. The anger that I'd begun our conversation with had drifted somewhere in the recess of my mind, though it had not completely dissipated. A part of me was still guarded, still holding the barricades around me, and I wasn't ready to let him in. There was no reason for me to let him in; Panama was a complete stranger up until this meeting. I didn't owe him anything.

Before long, he was speaking once more, "Yup, I'm a fisherman, have been for almost three years now. I got the boat on loan, and now I'm in debt up to my eyeballs because I can't pay for it. Fishing has been slow lately what with winter coming and the amount of fishing boats it's been tough."

His words were not unfamiliar to me. In fact, minus the explanation on where he obtained his boat, it was practically words straight out of my father's mouth. Not enough fish, winter, too many boats... all the complaints of a seasoned fisherman. I felt like all they ever had to do on those boats was complain, because obviously they weren't casting enough nets. You'd think if they spent as much time fishing as they did whining about how few fish there were, they might catch a little more.

"Though I have a friend who offered for me to share in her familes private fishing plot so I may be able to pick up on my loads. You look like a good worker, you wanna be a crew member on my ship?" I heard him ask, and I couldn't help but supply an amused grin.

What's with this whole "good worker" vibe I'm giving off?

To me, it was rather amusing. Less than two days since I'd received that job offer at the surf shack, someone else was offering work. Coupled with the two both being rather peculiar first meetings, I really had to wonder what was up with District 4 these days. One day they were complete dicks, and the next they were handing out free work. Not that I liked them being mean to me, but at least give me some consistency.

I looked up at him, and provided an apologetic smile, "Sorry. Already have a job offer I accepted, and with work at home and school, I really can't take on anything new. Just no time in the day."