A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara)

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i][/size][/color]"It's okay. Really. I just.. I just got nervous. Maybe we shouldn't do this to-"[/b] Her older brother bursting through the door stopped her mid-sentence. He saw Xander and took a step in, slowly closing the door until the familiar 'click' met his ears. "Renn... Um..." She hurried to explain. "Jameson! This is not what it looks like! I promise![/b] Jameson raised a curious eyebrow at her before taking a long glance at Xander, examining him from head to toe. He relaxed on of his legs, and stood with most of his weight on one leg, jutting his hip out slightly and crossing his arms. His deep voice did not match his stance. "Then what exactly is it?" Renn paused. I try to bring home a boy and this is what happens. Great.[/i] The question still rang in the air, but Renn still hesiated to answer it. She was secretly hoping Xander would take it from her, and possibly charm Jameson, or at least make him not hate him so they could leave.


{<OOC: Yes. It sucks. But there you are xD>}[/size]

This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous

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[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

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Jameson stared skeptically at the couple in Renn's bedroom. He was about to say something when Xander jumped into the story of how they met. Jameson chuckled a bit when he mentioned Renn had 'demolished' him. But his easy chuckled was silenced when Xander put an arm around Renn and kissed her forehead. Jameson was just like a real older brother. He was hugely over protective of his little sister, and he stared angrily at Xander as he continued. His fingers laced with Renn's, only making the angry stare on Jameson's face even angrier. All of this touching between the couple obviously made him uncomfortable. Xander even pulled Renn closer into his side protectively. Jameson's expression angered again. Jameson, ever since Renn had moved in, had taken it upon himself to protect her, even though she was the best career in the house. He'd always went with her to everywhere besides training. Only once before Xander had a guy in this part of the district payed much attention to Renn, and that was before Jameson threatened him harshly. Now, most of Renn's admirers admired from a far, too scared to face Jameson, though he wasn't that intimidating.

Xander finished up his last sentence and extended his hand to Jameson. Reluctantly, Jameson shook it. He then pulled Xander away from Renn, giving him a stern look. Renn stepped in between them, breaking their handhold and returned Jameson's stern look. He turned without saying anything and opened the door. Standing right in the doorway was someone Renn hadn't seen in a year. Her brother, only a month older then her, stood in the doorway. Renn didn't even recognize Rahm, but she knew it was him. In the past year, he'd grown to almost Xander's size. His hair was buzzed short instead of being long and covering his face. His thick chest made his shirt tight on him and his rippling biceps were a bit intimidating. [/size][/color]What in the world have you been doing for the last year, Rahm?![/i] And he was staring straight at Xander. Renn's eyes bounced from figure to figure. Jameson stood off to the side of the doorway, staring at Rahm, and smiling.

The silence in the room was creepy, and it seemed that everyone was on the verge on breaking out. Renn snuggled closer to Xander, hiding her face in his side. Oh Xander... what have we gotten ourselves into?[/i] Rahm still stood in the doorway, fists clenched. Xander's grip on Renn's hand tightened until it was almost unbearable. She ripped her hand from Xanders and pulled his chin down so that he was forced to look into her eyes. "Now can we go?"[/b] Without really waiting for an answer, Renn put pressure on the back of Xander's leg with her foot, forcing him to move forward. Towards the doorway.

They reached where Rahm was standing. Xander stopped, his arm slipping off of Renn's waist. Rahm threw a punch,

And all hell broke loose.[/size]

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Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

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The world stopped spinning.

Xander was thrown to the floor, his jaw making an unfathomable crack. Renn's blood-curdling scream pierced the air. Jameson threw all of his weight on her, sending her tumbling into a corner and silencing her scream. Her head hit against the wall, sending dizziness all throughout her skull. What had just happened made no sense! She brought home this amazing guy that loved her, that risked his life for her, and her brothers had gone to beating him up. From Jameson's perspective, or so it seemed, he was being a brother. But Rahm had never shown any interest in Renn. Never, not once, had he vowed to protect her. He'd only spoken to her on a few occasions. Now, he was punching the boy she loved in the gut, then the chest. Renn screamed again, remembering Xander's shoulder wound. Jameson held her by the waist, off the floor. All that her limbs could do was reach for Xander helplessly. Her mind couldn't process enough in itself to help him.

The couple's gaze locked for a moment, and it seemed each of them got some sort of strength from each others scared eyes. They both shook their opponents easily. Xander moved over to Renn, taking her hand. Renn put her arms around Xander's waist, sliding under his arm. [/size][/color] "Look Jameson, I'm not sure what game you are trying to play here, but if you really cared about Renn you wouldn't have done that. I know you know something about Rahm and I's past, otherwise he wouldn't have comveniently turned up. I've already had to fight once today for Renn, and now you left me with no choice but to fight again. I don't want to fight you Jameson, but you've made a powerful enemy if you continue this foolishness." Renn stared up at Xander as he spoke at her brother. Something caught in her ears. Rahm and Xander had a "past"? Maybe something in that was why Rahm had become the way he had, why he'd punched Xander. Renn felt a pure hatred for both of her miserable siblings. She followed Xander willingly to the doorway. He let out a huge sigh as he looked back at Rahm, then his eyes met Renn's, silently asking her what to do.

Renn knew exactly what to do.

She broke away from Xander, standing in such a way that neither boys could get to him. Reaching out before either of them had a chance to react, she gripped Rahm's tight shirt in a hard grasp. The moment her fist collided with his face, pure joy shot throughout her entire body. She even got the guts to do it again. He wouldn't dare hit a girl. Just to make her point clear, she even dared to knee him in the groin, sending him tumbling to his knees. He shrieked in pain. Jameson didn't move. Silently, Renn walked back to Xander, triumphantly leading him down the stairs again, her hand enclosed in his. They walked into the night, and only when they were off of Renn's street did she speak to him. "You can't possibly tell me you're family's much worse then that."[/b] She carefully stepped in front of him, making sure not to touch his wounded places. Standing as tall as she could, she pressed her lips into his, taking his arms and wrapping them around her neck, then doing the same with her own. She kissed him for a long moment, letting the feel of his lips linger as long as her need for breath would allow. She ruffled his hair a bit and smiled up at him.

Renn's finger traced the careful outline of his forehead, down to his cheekbone. The defined bridge of his nose. And eventually, her fingers made their way to his lips, tracing the gentle yet defined outline of her own personal heaven. Renn let her hand fall, but didn't break Xander's gaze. "Now, we can go back to the apartment.... but it's all the way on the other side of the square.. We could just sleep by the lake, if you want."[/b] Renn suggested. "But how will I make all of that fighting worth it for you?"[/b] But Renn knew exactly how she wanted to make it up to him. She winked maliciously at him and her fingers went back to tracing his lips as she giggled quietly.[/size]

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Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

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Xander's beautiful eyes glimmered in the moonlight, making his lips that much more irresistible. He took Renn's hand, slightly pressing the tips of his lips into it. Her knees began to fall out from underneath her. But a strong hand caressing her face made her regain her balance. When Xander again closed the gap between their lips Renn's knees did indeed fall from under her. He said something, but her vision began to blur. Luckily, Xander swooped her up in his burly arms and started towards the lake.

Renn didn't struggle like she usually did when he carried her. She hated being supported by someone else, because she learned her lesson with Wade. Once you depend on someone, they vanish. Renn wanted to believe with all her heart that Xander would never leave her, but the constant sleepless nights after Wade still haunted her. But she wouldn't have nightmares tonight. Maybe it was selfish to let Xander carry her, as he was more wounded and weak then Renn was. Still, she couldn't convince herself to tell him to set her down. Instead, Renn snuggled into his chest, covering her eyes from a world and creating one of her own. One where only her and Xander existed. They neared the lake faster then Renn had hoped. She was exhausted, but she pushed it aside as Xander set her down gently.

They were at the spot where they'd had lunch earlier. The first place they kissed, the first place they fought, the first place they'd eaten together, and the first place Renn had broken her own heart, only to have it reconstructed by Xander. Being in this magical place gave Renn a burst of energy. She pressed her lips firmly into Xander, pushing him against the boulder they'd leaned against earlier. She closed every gap between their beaten bodies until you couldn't see that they were two people. Still, she longed to be closer to him. Renn wanted to be as close as she could get to Xander. She pulled his arms around her, pulling them in such a way that he pulled her closer. Every ounce of her being seemed to center around Xander, and in that moment, it was most evident to her that she loved him. Her lips still pressed firmly into his. This was possibly the boldest thing she'd ever done.

She held his face in her hands, encouraging him to kiss her more. She wrapped a leg around his, slightly kicking the back of it. As planned, his knees fell out from under him. Renn landed in his lap, one leg on each side of his waist. His back was still pressed against the boulder and she stood on her knees to reach his mouth easier. She held him closer, her heartbeat wildly pounding in her chest. Her hands ran through his hair instinctively. Renn's tongue was gliding across Xander's lips, her own lips never leaving his. She again pressed closer to him, not breaking away for breath. Xander left her breathless anyways. [/color][/size]

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Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

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Xander let his tongue glide along Renn's lips, reciprocating her bold move. Under his lips, her's stretched into a smile. The more they kissed the more intense their closeness became. Both people wished for the other to be closer and closer, even though they were about as close as they could get. After a few minutes, Xander pulled away, disconnecting Renn's lips from his own. But that didn't disconnect her lips from him. Her breath came hard and fast as she kissed his neck, up to the line forming his cheekbone. She tried to put air back into her lungs while kissing every spot on his neck she could get to. She let her hand drop from his hair and instead pulled the back of his neck towards her. Renn only allowed herself one glance at his lips, knowing she wouldn't be able to stop herself from kissing them. They were merged into a wide smile. Renn only stopped kissing him when he spoke, taking in every word he said.

[/size][/color]"When you said that you would make everything worth while you weren't kidding. I would do all of today again if we could just do that again. Renn, I love you as I've never loved anyone or anything before. I don't ever want to let you go, I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you. My heart would break, and I'm not sure that I would be able to go on." Renn took the sound of his voice, and shoved it into her mind, swearing to herself that she'd remember the sound of his voice, and those enchanted words he'd just whispered to her. Renn didn't even have time to return his smile before he pulled her back down and kissed her again, with added intensity this time. His fingers ran through her hair. Then his hand moved to her back, sending shivers racing up and down her spine. The second his hands touched her spine, she collapsed onto him. Something about him touching her there made her loose all her composure.

Countless times, Renn tried to regain herself, but the warm touch of Xander's fingers had boggled her mind. She kept collapsing on Xander, trying not to break the bond their lips had. She fell again, this time her lips slipping from Xander's. Renn struggled to regain her balance again, but instead fell beside Xander. Without hesitation, she reached for Xander again, pressing her lips into his once more. They kissed for a while longer before the need to be closer to Xander took over. Renn pulled on his arm until his only option was to slide up on top of her. He did exactly that, positioning himself in the same way Renn had, supporting most of his weight with his knees. His legs placed on both sides of Renn's waist. Their lips never unlocked while he did this. Renn pushed up on her elbows, hoping to get even closer to Xander, but just as her knees did, her elbows came out from under her. She fell back onto her back and Xander placed his hands on either side of her head and leaned in, kissing her passionately. Renn took his face in her hands and pulled him even closer.

The fact that Xander was so close, that he was on top of her, that they were kissing, or just a combination of all of them, made Renn gasp for breath. Immediately, Xander got off of Renn and laid beside her, waiting for her to catch her breath. After regaining herself, she scooted closer to him, wanting to kiss him again, but he put a strong palm against her forehead, preventing her from kissing him. She grunted playfully and put on her saddest puppy eyes. Eventually, the hand dropped, and Renn snuggled against Xander. Looking into his bronze eyes, she remembered what he'd said a minute ago, and quickly thought of a reply. "You don't ever have to let me go, Xander."[/b] The name felt so right on Renn's lips. "I don't want you to. I love you too, you know that. I just wish.. you didn't have to do all that fighting to get this. I shouldn't have been so rude earlier.. I was just trying to protect you.. and me. But I've never felt more safe then when you're around me."[/b] Renn chuckled and ran her hand through his hair, ruffling it up a bit. "My big strong man."[/b] She teased. Renn tried to do that thing with her eyes that made him stiffen. Something about it made him freeze, and she took one last kiss from him. Renn pulled back first, and settled onto Xander's chest chuckling under her breath.[/size]



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Renn's sudden burst of energy had left her. Now she lay, utterly exhausted on Xander's broad chest. Her hand lay on his chest, rising and falling with the steadiness of it. Renn let her eyelids flutter close. Though they were open targets for any of the enemies they'd made that day, Renn felt completely at ease. Xander slowly stroked her hair, just like her mother did when she was young. She smiled. How could someone so gentle be so strong? He wasn't human, yet his gentleness seemed to only come naturally. Renn had been afraid to fall for him. Wade was much smaller than Xander, but even he, after learning her every fighting tactic could defeat Renn. Her worst nightmare would be for Xander to end up the same way. Then who would save her? But she knew in the pit of her stomach that Xander would never end up that way. He would take every precaution to assure her he was safe for her. No one, despite how well they could act, could make fake a love like theirs. No one, Renn was sure had ever fallen so deeply for someone in such a small amount of time.

Xander's words only proved everything Renn had thought and hoped right. [/size][/color]"I would fight again for you Renn, I would fight all of Panem for you." Renn stopped him there, punching him in the chest. He shouldn't think like that. Renn was merely a person as equal as him, he didn't need to risk his life for her. Ever. Renn didn't want him to. But that didn't stop him from continuing, in fact, he kept going like he didn't even feel the punch through his dense chest. And he probably didn't. "Before than I wondered what I could do to show you what I would be willing to do for you. I was given that opportunity to show you, and look where we are now. The two of us alone together here, no one to bother us, no one to judge us. I find myself at a loss for words now, because I don't think words can properly explain how I feel. Having you here with me, it makes me feel so happy. I will never let anything happen to you; I will never let anything come between us." Renn sat up abruptly. Did he really think it was because he'd fought for her that she loved him? Did he really think that was the turning point for their relationship? Renn loved him because she just did. She couldn't justify it. But it more the definitely was not because he fought for her, twice. How could he think that?! It wasn't the fighting that had put them where they were now. It was determination from both sides that brought them together. They were just in love, and it was that that fueled the passion they held for each other. It was the fact they were in love that led them here. It was the fact that they were in love that had caused wounds and bruises and scratches, but they would heal in time. But their hearts were tattooed. There was no way they could ever remove the stamp they'd cast upon one another's hearts. And he shouldn't be happy to be with her. That shouldn't satisfy him. Getting into the Games, fame, and glory, was what should have satisfied him, not the company of another career.

Renn was about to set everything straight in his mind. He couldn't go around thinking all those things if they weren't true. But he beat her to it. Before she had time to react, he was pulling her into an embrace. He had a sweet scent. Maybe it was a certain type of cologne, or possibly just the familiarity of it, but it calmed Renn down. Maybe he should go around thinking those things, thinking that she would let him fight for her yet again. She would be his weak spot, and he would be her's. It would change everything, the two of them together. So then why did it feel so right? He turned on his side, pulling Renn with him. He was so strong. It was hard to keep the image of him using her like Wade had evident in her mind, because she needed to be cautious. Now more than ever. Renn wasn't afraid of Xander, in fact, it was the apposite. But she could be, and it wouldn't be hard. That image was forced from her mind as Xander held her to his chest protectively and kissed her forehead. How could he ever do something like that to her, if he truly loved her that much?

Renn curled up into his chest, breathing in his scent to calm her busy mind. His warm, heavy arm acted as a blanket from the cold air that hung in the dark sky. It was way past dusk now. Renn's breath steadied against Xander's chest. He had so many effects on her already. He could make her weak, or he could give her energy. She wanted to love him with her heart and mind, but her mind wasn't totally convinced yet. She felt so safe next to him, but there wasn't a minute she forgot what those powerful, yet warming, arms could do. His heartbeat hummed in his chest, so very close to her ear. She would sleep well tonight, whether her thoughts kept her up long or not. Xander's breath neared her ear, and Renn's eyes popped open. It was so hard for her not to turn and kiss him again. To kiss him until morning came. All the time, everyday, constantly. It was hard for her to not want him. It wasn't something she was successful at shaking off at all.

"As long as I'm here, your big strong man, you will never need to fear anything. I will protect you from anything or anyone or I will die trying. A world without you isn't a world worth living in." It was then, that her mind was made up. She would push every single living fear or violent daydream from her mind. Renn would let all the things that could go wrong slip away. And she would love Xander, with all her heart. She would never fear anything again, just like he'd told her to. And she would never let Xander die for her. She would constantly remind him that she loved him. And she would never let him give up on his dreams. Renn Perrysworth would no longer commit her time to herself. Instead, Renn Thrash would live happily in the shadow of her triumphant love. She would always be there for Xander. She would no longer fear, or dwell on the future, because right now, wrapped up in his arms, was the only thing that mattered. Renn would always be with Xander, and she would help him strive towards what was best for him. And she would always be contempt if he was with her. It was on that thought, that Renn slipped into a magical dream. One where her last name was Thrash, and one where Xander stood tall and proud next to her. One where she was his wife. One where they were together. Two hearts tattooed,

Forever

This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous

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Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

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Faces were only part of a person's recognition for another person. The thing that Renn so clearly recognized about Xander, was his smell. Masculine with a gentle edge. A smell that always kept her guessing. A smell that was present throughout the entirety of her dreams that night. Her heart swarmed at his touch, whether she was imagining it in her sleep or not. There was a certain pull towards him for her. It was like gravity had shifted. And now, instead of being heavily secured to the Earth, she was secured to Xander. Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest when he was around. Jump out of her chest and resume it's rightful place in Xander's. It was astonishing, almost fascinating how attached Renn's independent heart had become to this almost stranger. To this person she'd only met a day ago. But in her dreams, time past a lot faster then reality allowed. In her dreams, they kissed, they held hands, they loved each other. Lots of time passed. Days, months, years. It was in the second month of their impenetrable romance that things started to go wrong. Xander soon grew bored of holding Renn's hand. She begged him, she did everything she could. He was satisfied for a few more days, but then the boredom returned. She was desperate. The only thing she knew to do was to let him have everything of her. Her heart, her soul, and her body. He'd taken all three easily. And he let them drop just as easily. He left. And this time, Renn wasn't alone. Now, she had a child to take care of. A child that would never see his father. She named it after him...

Renn's eyes snapped open in alertness. The distant call of a baby ran clearly in her ears. It was real. None of that was a dream. She'd given everything to him. Every aspect of her life. And he'd dropped them, like trash to a curb. A hole in her chest appeared, threatening to take whatever working organs she had left into it. The emptiness that filled her was almost unbearable. Yet she sat here. Unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to do anything. Her surroundings were spinning, and she was unable to tell exactly where she was. Not that she cared. Nothing mattered. Not even the beating heart of their child that she swore to herself she would keep safe. She'd let the child wander away. Someone else would find it. Someone else would want it. The grief in the pit of her stomach was almost as violent as the anger that boiled in her empty chest. She didn't want the baby, if she couldn't have him. He was all she wanted. All she needed to go on.

Then it hit her. She couldn't go on. She shouldn't. It was selfish to sit here, not letting merchants thrive from her hunger (she refused to eat). Not letting anyone use her in anyway for any purpose. She was a lonely, and pointless existence. She was hardly an existence at all. The world stopped spinning. She commanded her limp body to think. She had to escape the world. A world without him wasn't worth anything to her. The lake. It was so close. It would be so fast. She could end it here. No more pain. No more anger. No more... him. But that was what she needed. she needed to be rid of his grasp. He'd taken everything from her. Every single damned thing.

Renn sauntered to the lake. It felt like she was operating only half of her body. Had he stripped the other half from her? Only her right side seemed to work, and she ignored the blank stares as she made her way to the water's edge. Renn hadn't realized, that the grief in her, had taken up much more space then the anger. She crumpled to the ground. Resting her head on her fists, pulling at her hair. Grief was worse than anger. It consumed the body, one organ at a time. It controlled everything. Though grief had the most control over her functions, anger did too. They were split, making the inoperable side of her body dedicated to her grief, her sorrow, for her true love. The other side, was furious. Blood stained her shoulder and her nails had eaten holes in her wrists. Her hair lay in matted tangles everywhere. Only on the right, it had less volume to it. Renn guessed she'd pulled it out, though you couldn't see it, the everlasting pain in her scalp made her put two and two together. She stayed crumpled up at the water for a long time. But time still passed, but instead of shorter than reality would allow, everything seemed to be still. Time passed slowly. Slower then Renn ever thought it could.

An arm landed around her shoulder. Tears swelled her vision, and she couldn't make out the face. But the feel of the arm was familiar. As was the smell. And it always kept her guessing. The arm belonged to Xander. Her child's father. The man who ruined her. That man kissed her cheek, and his scent became more evident to Renn's nose. She sniffled loudly, not believing for a minute that Xander was actually there. Then his tender voice spoke to her. [/size][/color]"Did you sleep well, I'm sorry that I left you, but we needed some new clothes and breakfast. I didn't want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful there, and I figured I would be back before you woke up...guess not though." It sounded so real... but Renn knew it wasn't true. She hadn't brought herself to kill herself. So if she was about to go on existing.. she had to rid herself of him forever. She had to him out of her head.

Renn shoved the fake Xander away forcefully. She spoke, almost snarling through her teeth. "Don't you go pretending for a damn minute Xander. Don't tell me you're sorry. You're not. You left me because you were bored. Because..."[/b] She forced herself to her feet. Raising her voice to a yell, she continued. "Because, I'm not DAMN GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! You made your point clear! You left. And you took a piece of me with you. Did you think I wanted that fucking baby, Xander?! Something you created?! Why would I want it?! Tell me why you thought that maybe that would make it better!!" Her knees tumbled out from under her, but Xander's arms caught her. He wrapped her in a hug, squeezing her so hard that her vision started to blur. He dragged her over to the lake, pulling her down onto the ground with him. Xander took a handful of water and threw it at Renn's face.

The left side of her body straightened, and all the tension left the right side. She shook her head furiously, but then the pain in Xander's eyes, as he stared right at her, pierced through her broken heart. Something washed over her. Something she'd thought she'd never feel again. Love. It was all fake. Xander was here. He loved her. He never left. They never had a baby. He was here. He.. her true love..

"Xander?"[/b][/size]

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