A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara)
Nov 23, 2012 20:58:52 GMT -5
Post by mcmarti99 on Nov 23, 2012 20:58:52 GMT -5
Put Your Lips Next to Mine
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]
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The minute Renn could feel the irregular beat of Xander's heart, she wished she could take everything back. It was all a dream, a harsh fantasy. None of that would ever happen. Renn knew it wouldn't. If he sat there, her in his lap, and still hugged her with all his might after she'd said such horrible things to him then he must have really loved her. The baby's cry rang in her ears again. She looked up to identify the source of the noise, and found that it was a child on the street. She let out huge puffs of relief as she lay her hand over Xander's chest. How could she have said those things? She should have known it was all some nightmare. Xander would never do that to her. Not now anyways. No. Not ever. Renn's chest suddenly began to feel empty, like her own words had torn a hold in it. The guilt was eating her alive. She was so stupid, so easily fooled by her own evil imagination. Renn clung to Xander, hoping with all her might that he'd forgive her. She had to apologize, now. But Xander's broken voice kept her from letting the words form on her lips.
[/size][/color]"Renn, I will never leave you, especially if we ever had a baby. The baby would be OUR responsibility, the sign of our love for each other. To leave you would cause me so much pain because you make me whole, you carry a part of me within you, our hearts are one. From now on I will take you everywhere with me, than you will truly know my words have meaning." The words were so sweet, and they should have comforted Renn. But instead, they stung through her heart, making her clutch her chest. He was so committed to her. Half of him was with her, he'd said. She felt exactly the same way. She thought that part of her he'd taken away, but it turns out, he was holding it for her. The part that he took must have been crucial to her mental stability, for she still questioned how her mind could conjure up just terrible things, and then make them appear real.
Xander pulled Renn close with a gentleness that masked his true strength. It was like a charade. Xander was a strong, merciless warrior, yet he played gentle and sweet for Renn. He didn't want to scare her, and he wanted her to trust him. Renn did trust him, with all of her heart. Maybe it wasn't Xander's face she'd imagined as she yelled those obscurities at him. Could it be possible... that it was Wade, who still haunted her? Even with the presence of Xander? She'd said his name right to him though, but maybe the face was different. Maybe his smell was actually that of Wade, and Renn hadn't realized it. Before she had time to ponder on her motives more, Xander pressed his lips so gently into her's. He was excruciatingly gentle with Renn. She'd wished he didn't care for her with such a gentle hand. Though she wasn't sure, she was sure this was not the real Xander. But somehow, she'd fallen in love with both Xanders. With the relentless fighter, and the gentleman.
The world they lived in was harsh, but somehow, as if by pure magic, the pair had been brought together. They were like the pieces of a puzzle, and all this time, Renn had been missing half of herself. Xander had carried that part of her with him from her first steps. They were soul mates, destined for each other. They both knew it too. Renn hoped Xander could hear her thoughts. She wished that somehow, he knew exactly how she felt about him, because it was too indescribable. Her lips instinctively kissed him back with every ounce of love her damaged heart could bear. She lost herself in the kiss, her hand feeling Xander's pulse through his dense chest. Soon though, sooner then Renn would have hoped, Xander broke away. She was never done with him when he was with her. Renn had hoped the kiss would last longer, that they'd get lost in it, so that she didn't have to explain herself. The Wade theory was the answer, and Renn knew it. She was damaged goods, scarred both physically and emotionally by the horrid man she was mostly sure she loved. But with Xander it was different. She wasn't mostly sure. She was positive.
"Renn, I will never leave you again. From now on we do everything together, I will hold your hand, I will kiss you, I will hold you close. Every way that I can show you I will never be what you said I was, I will do. I love you Renn, and I will never hurt you." Tears streamed down her cheeks as the words sunk in. She didn't even have to fear of her dream anymore. It had drowned in her tears that had leaked onto Xander's shirt. He'd told her to never be afraid when he was around, and it rung true. Renn wasn't afraid. She was comforted by the huge arms that held her so close. The breath the came from Xander's mouth. The heat radiating off his body into hers. The feeling of his heart beating in his chest, still a bit unregulated. She lifted her head so that she looked him in the eye. He needed to realize that none of what she just said, did she ever believe would happen. It was just a dream, a nightmare, from her past. Still, Renn wanted to refrain from mentioning that all of this trouble was caused by Wade. Renn had seen Xander motivated enough to kill him already, and it scared the hell out of her. She couldn't let him do that again.
"Xander... listen. Those things.. those things I said.."[/b] She choked on her tears. Xander brought a calloused thumb and wiped her cheeks, freeing them of her tears. "You have no idea how much guilt I have for saying that. For ever denying for a minute that you didn't love me. I should have known better. I shouldn't have believed any of it. It was a nightmare, Xander. But somehow... I don't think it was you.." She paused. Renn knew he would want an explanation, but she hesitated to give it to him. Would he be so enraged that he'd do something stupid? She clutched his shirt in her fists, ready to pull him back down if he became angry. She would not let him get hurt because of her. "When.. when Wade left me... I was so angry. I was torn apart. I thought he loved me. I thought he cared. I was mostly sure, anyways. Then he left. I thought he'd taken part of me with him. I was almost positive he'd ripped my heart right from my chest. I was depressed, I was messed up. But I got over it. I gave up on him. My anger took over, more then the grief. I just spent my days hating him, and it helped...
"But then I met you. And I felt the part of me I thought was missing click back into place. I was happy again. Even when I pinned you to the floor in the training center, I was happy. Then you said you loved me. And I realized, that all along, it was you that held my missing piece. It was you that stole my heart. And I felt a pull, like gravity to you. And now I know why. Because we were destined for each other. We were always meant to find one another. Always. And I followed my instincts to protect myself from you.. when in reality, I needed to protect myself from my own heart. I had to find a way to repair it. Fate, brought us together. It was pure fate, and your faith, and you patience with me, that brought us to this moment. All those things I said, they were the last of my torn heart. They were the last breath of the monster Wade created of me. It was like he'd cast some kind of black magic on me. But you, my angel sent from heaven, my true love, broke the spell. It's like a fairy tale. It's like it's not real, but I can feel it. I can feel the wheels of the universe pulling me to you. I know I'm supposed to be with you. And from now on, I promise not to doubt it for a minute. I am with you now. Your heart had made room for mine, and now, yes, we live as one."[/b]
She carressed Xander's face after she finished. She sat in his lap, breathing in a scent that was not in her nightmares. Her mind had faked all of it. And she got the smell so wrong. Xander smelled of morning. Like the break of dawn over the patient horizon. He was her sun. Renn needed him to live. She needed his warmth to not shrivel up into a ball of ice. All her fears subsided in that moment. The fear of letting herself fall for him was demolished. Now, only a need to kiss him remained. And she took care of that quickly.
She let her soft lips seek out Xander's. They were only a centimeter away, and instead of just leaning into the kiss, something pulled on her, like a magnet, forcing her lips into Xander so hard that it knocked him over. She, again, landed on top of him, but this time she lay there, her lips pressed firmly into his, and let every ounce of passion she had for him flow into his body. She loved Xander. And that was that.[/size]
This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous
[/size]But I..This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous
Like it[/blockquote][/blockquote][/font][/center][/i]
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