A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara)

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Anna Banana
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Making things happen one day at a time

A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Nov 29, 2012 23:04:05 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Nov 29, 2012 23:04:05 GMT -5

Apparently she found it as easy to read his feelings from his eyes as he could with her. The guilt had burned an impression into his heart, and his eyes were a clear passage way to his heart. Generally his feelings had been cold, determined, and without remorse, and his eyes would reflect that to all that looked into them. Since he had met Renn though his world had been completely turned upside down, all the feelings he once had were now replaced by love, caring, and a steely determination to protect Renn. Fighting no longer seemed as important as it once had, making Renn's world perfect was his goal now. He knew how much she wanted him to enter the Games, but seeing her today and how Wade had so easily affected her he knew he couldn't leave her. Right than he decided that he would not volunteer for the games, he would train to keep Renn happy, but he would not under any circumstances volunteer.

His thoughts were interrupted by the feel of Renn's soft skin touching his own calloused hands. She took both of her hands and gently placed them around his large battle worn hands. Her fingers stroked the skin stretched tight on his hands from years of battling, and the soft feel of her hands against his seemed to put part of the guilt he felt at ease. Just as he knew how to get to Renn, she was able to reach into his soul, and treat his emotions with such gentle ease. Even from day one she knew his emotions, arrogant, angry, and yet under it all was his love for her. She had refused to admit it at first, but even she could not deny how they seemed to be made for eachother, how well they complemented eachother. Slowly she moved to his other hand and traced around it, her fingers marking every detail, taking in every scar and cut. A small smile crept onto his face as she did so, it was so childlike, and yet this simple gesture was greater than any words she could speak now.

Her eyes closed slowly and her hands moved onto his face as they traced around his cheekbones. They moved over his face, her touch so gentle and smooth he was so tempted to take her hand and hold it to his face. Once she seemed satisfied her hand moved down to his neck, and as she did she rose shakily from her seat and sat on his lap. She moved his hand onto her face and held it there pressed against her skin as if his touch would make everything disappear. He felt her tug at his neck pulling him into her till their lips met, it was gentle at first, but the longer her lips lingered he felt more force behind it. It almost knocked him off balance as she pressed into his lips, her tongue tracing around his lips, moving over till she had memorized their structure. Her hand moved from his face down to his chest, right over his heart, it's rate increasing as the emotions behind their kiss did.

Her hand did not linger long over his hear as it moved over his chest, running itself over his muscles. Than she did something that shocked him, he felt her hand move under his shirt reaching the skin at his back. A chill ran up his spine as her hand moved under his shirt, but as it did the emotion behind the kiss increased. Than suddenly her hand moved away, and his eyes opened to see a slight shade of pink rise to her cheeks. His own cheeks felt warm, and he was sure that his cheeks had a shade of red to them. She curled up into his lap and rested her ear against his chest over his heart and he looked down at her, and would swear he saw a deeper shade of red rise to her cheeks. He wasn't sure why, but he felt a rush of red rise to his cheeks as he looked at her. Moving his arms around her he rubbed his hand along her back, down her spine and than along her thigh. Repeating the motion several times before she broke the silence with her words, he snapped to attention.

Xander. I'm starving, "Hunger is a weird word. Sometimes, it means that your stomach is telling you to eat. But sometimes, when I'm with you, hunger is a irrelevant term. When I'm with you, I'm hungry all over. I think it's possible to have a hunger in your heart. A burning desire to be with someone. But my hunger is different. It's not a want, or a desire. It's a necessity. I need to be with you. I can feel it throughout my entire body. Every part of me is telling me to.. to love you. With every piece of myself. And maybe, one day, I'll be hungry enough to listen to it."

Her words brought to life the sensation within him that he himself could not begin to explain. He was hungry for her, his heart told him that he needed her to be complete. His life would fall apart, and he would have no driving force if she left him, he needed her always by his side. Upon hearing her words he had the strength to voice his own feelings for her, to say what his heart was telling him to tell her.

Renn, I need you to, I cannot think of a world that you are not part of. I didn't realize until I had met you how much I needed you to make my world a better place. I already love you with every bit of my body, heart, and soul. Nothing will ever change that, and I hope I'm never separated from you. He watched as she spilled the contents of the bag onto the table preparing to eat, but he needed an exclamation point to his words, something to let her know he really meant it. Taking her face in his hand he turned it around so it was only inches from his own, and pressed his lips into hers.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 1, 2012 11:22:51 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 1, 2012 11:22:51 GMT -5

{ooc: I don't have access to my computer right now so I don't have my lyrics and stufff. I will code later.}

Renn tried to hide her face from Xander as she spilled the contents of the bag onto the counter. She sorted through them thoughtfully, but she couldn't make out what each object was. She didn't take the time to indentify the food. Food was food, and she needed some of it. She stayed turned as she felt Xander's gaze on her, then she heard his beautiful words.

[/color]"Renn, I need you to, I cannot think of a world that you are not part of. I didn't realize until I had met you how much I needed you to make my world a better place. I already love you with every bit of my body, heart, and soul. Nothing will ever change that, and I hope I'm never separated from you." Another set of blushes rose to Renn's cheeks as he spoke. She focused on setting up the food so he wouldn't see the red that was so obviously plastered on her face. He turned her around and pressed his lips into her's. Renn's hand automaticaly went up to his face, pulling him deeper into her. His kissed were soft and sweet, but Renn made this one short as her stomach grumbled wildly. She eyed the chair Xander had set her down in, but she didn't want to walk over to it. She wanted to stay in Xander's lap forever, his arms wrapped around her waist so she didn't fall.

Renn ate the food without ever really knowing what it was. She ate half of it. Since Renn was placed on his lap, Xander had little mobility to eat himself, and his arms were wrapped around her waist. She took the other half of he food, and fed it to him slowly. But she did so so that he couldn't get a word in. Renn found it amusing how he tried to talk while she was feeding him, and more so because it didn't work. When there was no more to eat and her stomach was satisfied, she stood from Xander's lap, running her hands over his thighs. She pulled in the collar of his shirt so that he had to follow her and plopped down on the floor in front of the couch. She felt exposed at the lake, but with their backs up against the couch, it made the same feeling as the boulder had. Renn just imagined the tweeting of the birds and the silence of the water in front of her. She slid under Xander's arm and snuggled up to him.

It was so easy to make everything so normal and simple. They were actually acting like a real couple. Renn loved it. She took Xander's hand on the oppisite side of him from where she was and continued to run her fingers over it, not comepletly satisfied that she'd memorized it comepletly.

{ooc:Yes this totally sucks. Sorry! I just wanted to get a reply in for you! If you want, I can post later when I have more time to make it good?}[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/b]

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Making things happen one day at a time

A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 1, 2012 22:32:22 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 1, 2012 22:32:22 GMT -5

Xander watched with an amused expression as Renn attacked the food with a hunger he thought only a wild animal possessed. He couldn't make out what any of it was, and it was unlikely that Renn was able to either, not the way she was going at it. Her back remained turned to him though, and there was no acknowledgement to his words. He felt foolish for telling her those things, especially now that he couldn't see her face, he had put himself out there for no acknowledgement to his feelings. He turned her around and kissed her gently, and her hand rose to his face pulling him into the kiss. He closed his eyes and just felt the emotion of the kiss, the love and tenderness they felt for eachother. It was over to quickly though for she pulled away at the grumble of her stomach and returned her gaze to the food.

At first her eyes seemed to linger on the seat across from him, but soon she came to the realization that his lap offered more comfort than the chair did. He just watched as she continued to eat the food at first, but than he tried to start up a conversation to which Renn promptly responded by putting food in his mouth. It was timed perfectly, every time he opened his mouth she would place more food in it, and he wasn't able to talk to her. Eventually he gave up and continued to eat until they had both eaten half of the food, and there was none left. Slowly Renn stood up and ran her hands over his thighs, his heart beat went up as her hand moved along his thigh, and a chill ran up his spine. It was unclear to him whether it was hot in the room or if it was his imagination. Than taking the collar of his shirt she led him over to the couch, where she pinned him to it. It was a similar situation to the night before when she had pinned him to the boulder, but this time she snuggled up to his side. While she lay at his side she let her hand move over to his and run her fingers over it, almost as if she didn't want to forget its structure.

He sat there with her at his side for several minutes enjoying her warmth at his side. It was a comfort to know that she was with him, that she was safe. He and Renn would be safe and happy here, away from everything and everyone that wanted to hurt them. They couldn't stay here forever, but it could act as their safe haven from everything. Slowly his hand rose off of the floor taking her hand with it, and turning his hand enveloped hers in his own. Her hand was so soft, it was so unlike his hands, they had the scars and wear of a typical Career and yet they retained their delicate softness. His other hand took hers and he held her hands lightly in his grip, and slowly he ran his hands up her arms taking in every detail. Lifting her carefully he brought her onto his lap and pulled her into him.

Slowly his hands began to move across her body taking in every detail. They started ar her shoulders and worked there way down. Gliding over her body and yet feeling everything, leaving no place untouched. A blush rose to his face as his hands moved across her chest and down to her stomach, and than to her back. He wondered whether he should stop now, if he was going to far, but he couldn't stop now. His hands lingered at the hem of her shirt toying with it before slowly sliding his hands underneath it. Her skin was so smooth to his touch as his hands ran across her back, one of his hands moved up her back as the other moved down. He pulled her back into him and brought his lips gently into hers while his hands moved beneath her shirt taking in everything. His fingers moved carefully around the waistline of her jeans lacing themselves in and out of the belt loops, and than coming tantalizingly close to slipping down underneath her jeans.

As his hands moved the passion of his kiss increased and he pulled her closer into him. His tongue moved across her lips and he felt as if he might die. His heart rate increased and he shifted himself so she fell ontop of him. He broke away from her lips and than moved down to her neck letting his lips hover barely above her skin before letting them fall and move back up to her lips. It was just him and her, no one to judge them or watch them, trying to ruin what they had. His arms tightened around her, and he moved one of his hands slowly onto her butt where it rested. His other arm moved around her body hugging her close to him, the feel of her skin making another blush rise to his cheeks. He loved her so much, and he had told her that he loved her with everything he had, now he was proving it to her. If only her brothers could see them now, together, alone, away from prying eyes. It was just them, and the love they had for eachother. He was going to let her know that he was worth all of her love, the love of her heart, mind, and soul. It was in this moment that he would convince her that he would never leave her, and he loved her more than anyone in her life.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 2, 2012 0:28:21 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 2, 2012 0:28:21 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

Renn loved the feeling of Xander's hands. They were so rough and strong, but were where Renn's hands belonged, their fingers so delicately intertwined. It was fine like this. Just the two of them, by the ~~lake~~ couch. Renn had lost hope of reliving last night. She'd hinted so obviously to Xander exactly what she wanted to do, but he had just sat there and kissed her back. Even so, Renn wasn't one to pout, and when Xander's hand flipped over, enveloping her's in his, a little sliver of hope wiggled into her. He moved his hands over her's, mimicking her actions. His hands moved to her arms, tracing the faint lines of her biceps. They were in no comparison to his, but they were impressive for a girl her size. Renn thought nothing of it. In her mind, there were invisible lines in their relationship. Markers that indicated where they could and couldn't go. But that little sliver of hope sent her heart racing as he pulled her onto his lap.

It started at her shoulders. His hands moved over the stretched skin that covered the bone. Renn didn't have broad shoulders. Then down her chest, lingering slightly at her collarbone. Renn watched Xander's face as he felt over her body, his hands now at her stomach. She smiled. He was blushing. Renn thought of how much she felt like she was in heaven right now, how Xander was her angel sent from above. How did all this make him feel? Was he doing it to make something up to her? Or was it from pure temptation, hunger even, that drove him to run his hands over her body. Renn's lip trembled and she tried to keep herself from shaking from giddy excitement. She was motionless, letting Xander's hands explore her body.

His hands almost stopped at the hem of her shirt. He was deciding whether or not to go that far, he was wondering what her reaction would be. Renn smiled at him just as he made up his mind. Xander's hands slid up and down her back. She remembered the smoothness of his back under her palms. Renn wondered if the feeling was reciprocated as his hands went up and down her back, causing violent, involuntary shivers to race up and down her back, making her whole body shake uncontrollably. His tracing of her spine sent an uncomfortable shock through her body, but after a minute of it, she grew accustomed to it, and allowed him to go further. He put such a gentle pressure on her back that Renn though she fell onto him, but he somehow pushed her into him, moving her so that she their lips could meet. Renn's arms had sat awkwardly at her sides, trying to stay out of the way of Xander's as he traced her. But now, they occupied themselves by pulling on the back of his neck encouraging him to keep going, to never stop. Her hands moved to his hair, ruffing up the short spikes.

Xander's hands played with the belt loops of Renn's jeans, laying precariously over her waist line. Suddenly, all the air in Renn's lungs vanished as she felt Xander's hands almost slip under the restriction of her jeans, but then they resumed sliding up and down her back. Renn moved into him, setting one leg on each side of his waist, supporting her weight by her knees. His tongue moved across her lips, identifying each dip in curve, Renn parted her lips and kissed back just as eagerly. Her own tongue was gliding across Xander's. Moans escaped both their mouths, which might have seemed impossible, considering neither of them could breathe. At least Renn couldn't. Xander's touch left her gasping for breath, but she didn't dare let him move away from her. She held his neck close so he had to kiss her. Renn's heart wasn't even pounding anymore. It sat motionless in her chest, yet she could feel the blood rushing all over her body, electrifying her senses. Xander's lips ran across the line of her jaw, down to her neck, his breath leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

He shifted his weight so that his back slid down the couch until he was laying flat on the ground. This caused Renn to slip and lay directly on top of him, not even the space between Renn's hips and his existed anymore. They were one person, their hearts thumping in perfect harmony, if they were thumping at all. Renn couldn't hear for the blood pumping through her ears and the gentle moans that every once and a while escaped Xander's mouth. His arms tightened around Renn, pulling her ever closer to him. Every dip and curve in her entire body fit perfectly into his. The entire moment, in and of itself, was perfect.

Renn didn't love Xander.

That was an understatement. She cared for him with all her heart. She had a hunger and a desire to share every part of her with him. Renn wanted every inch of Xander memorized in her mind. Locked away for the times he wouldn't be there. She wanted, needed, had to have Xander. Every square inch of him. He was her lifeline. He was everything she needed to live, and right now, he was satisfying her hunger more than the food he'd given her did. It might be the most difficult thing to describe the happiness, the contentment, the completion, that Xander brought to Renn. It was impossible to describe exactly how she felt about him, or how he felt about her. But either way, love was much too a low understatement. Though, there wasn't a word stronger, there was a feeling stronger. Much, much, much, stronger.

Slowly, Renn's hands receded from Xander's, as his did to her. Slowly, they slipped out of each other's powerful grasp. Renn inched so carefully towards Xander's right until her body slopped on the ground beside him. And slowly, the moment faded. Leaving each participant breathless. For a moment, they lie there, trying to catch their breaths as they stared so lovingly into each other's eyes. Then Renn pulled on Xander's arms until he was on top of her, and repeated every motion he'd done to her, her hands reaching lower beneath the waistline of his jeans then he did to her. She wanted him so much more then she could ever imagine. She wanted every square inch of him.

After the passion of the moment slowly faded again, and Xander slid off beside her, each of them gasping for breath, Renn smiled endlessly. She caught her breath faster than Xander, and she watched him until he caught his own breath. She gracefully slid closer to him, closing the gap between their bodies. He moved to get up again, maybe to kiss her, maybe to resume his place atop her, but either way, Renn pushed down on his chest, pushing him back to the floor. She laid her head against his chest, listening to the pounding of his still uncalmed heart. Renn took his hand and pulled it to her hair, encouraging him to stroke it. She lay there, unable, and unwilling, to move, as his hands ran through her hair, her head on his chest, until sleep engulfed her. Pulling her into a dream the same as reality, with Xander.[/color][/size]

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 2, 2012 18:34:01 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 2, 2012 18:34:01 GMT -5

Having her so close to him, the feel of her skin against his own. It was the perfect moment when his arms were around her, holding her so close to him that they were one person. She had no fear now as she responded to each of his actions in turn. His kiss was met by equal passion and love, and yet there was an undercurrent of wanting more. Like there was a longing for him to go further to continue, to never let her go. His eyes locked with hers and he could see that there was more than just love there, that she had given herself to him just as he had given himself to her. They were always going to be there for eachother, and nothing would change that, love could no longer descibe the feelings they had for eachother.

Slowly though he felt her hands moving away from him, and responded likewise with her. They broke away from eachother and Renn moved beside him looking into his eyes. The love and longing was clear in her eyes, and Xander knew with absolute certainty that they would never be separated by anything. He was startled out of his thoughts though by a tug on his arms and felt his frame move on top of Renn. Than he felt her hands moving across his body just as his did to hers, and when she came to the waistline of his jeans she let her hands slip further down than his did. A feeling of shock numbed him, but as quickly as her hands had slid down his jeans they were removed. Slowly though he felt the passion of the moment fade and slid off of Renn's frame.

They just lay together, side by side, their heavy breathing the only sound as they tried to catch their breath. He heard her breath come to a still calm faster than his, perhaps a side affect of her hands below his waistline. Feeling her body draw closer to him so they lay together with no space between them, he tried to move and kiss her. Her hand though fell heavily on his chest pushing him back down. A little disappointed he allowed himself to be pushed back to the floor, but was pleased when he saw her head come to fall upon his chest. It lay there so still for several minutes, and he watched the rise and fall of her body as she breathed. Now was a peaceful moment, where they would just enjoy the company of eachother. His own chest rose and fell with the irregular beat of his still uncalmed heart, and he smiled wondering if Renn knew how much he had enjoyed what they had just done.

He felt her take his hand and bring it up to her hair as if to say she wanted him to stroke her hair as he had done so many times before. Happy to oblige her unasked request he began to run his hand gently through her hair, letting his hand mythodically move in time with her heart beat. With each stroke he would move farther down her hair, and than down her back until his hand slid to her thigh. Than he would start back over from the beginning, moving slower each time as his heart rate began to slow. He listened for her breath which had faded away, and realized she had fallen asleep at his side. For several minutes he just lay there with her head laying on his chest thinking about what they had been through together in so little time. Between her brothers, Wade, and the impending doom of her meeting his family they had been through alot. Her brothers were threatening to expose them to her parents and Wade had threatened not only Renn but him. None of that mattered now though, becuase it was just them together here, they didn't have to worry about anyone here.

Moving his frame slightly he looked into Renn's face. He could still see the slight traces of the tears that had fallen so freely from her eyes ealier. It had pained him to see her cry, to see the pain and loss she had felt. But, he had brought a smile to her face, and love back into her eyes, the days troubles melting away as they had looked into eachothers eyes. She looked so peaceful now, her mouth still upturned in a smile, his arm around her protectively as it had been last night. Moving his arms around her he lifted her gently trying not to wake her, and stood up. Looking down into her still peaceful face he could not tell if he had awakened her, but proceeded to walk towards the bedroom. It had been a long day for both of them, and they deserved to sleep in comfort, the bedroom was the only place that had not fallen to the wear and tear of the rest of the apartment. Walking into to the room he placed Renn on one side of the bed and slipped quietly to the other side. Sliding his shirt off he slipped his frame into the bed and moved in close to Renn. Laying his arm across her in similar fashion to the first night they had spent together he pulled the blanket up over them, and let Renn's steady breathing lull him to sleep.

Fade to black

Last Edit: Dec 2, 2012 18:36:41 GMT -5 by Anna Banana

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 3, 2012 17:21:13 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 3, 2012 17:21:13 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

Xander's arm was heavy against Renn's side, making deep breaths more work than they were worth. His breath in her ears blew around the frizz next to them, tickling Renn's cheekbones. His chin rest on her head, in the same spot it had been when he'd fallen asleep beside her. Renn's face was in his neck, taking in his sweet scent. It was masked by a few drops of his sweat, and the stench of his morning breath, but if she focused hard enough, she could smell him. He smelled of morning, when everything was just awakening. When the hibiscuses showed their first petals, and a mist hung low over everything, creating the illusion that you were walking on a cloud. That same illusion was there when Renn was around Xander. She felt weightless when he carried her in his burly arms. And when his lips were on her's, it felt like the entire world went away, taking her breath with it.

Renn snuggled further into Xander's side, his arm automatically tightening around her, even in his sleep. She was curled into a ball, her knees almost to her chest. She'd never been in the room they were asleep in, but that didn't bother her. Renn felt safe anywhere she was with Xander. Inevitably, she had nightmares. Of Wade, and his body pressed into her. Of Wade hurting Xander. Him taking away everything Renn ever wanted or needed. In one nightmare, Wade had even threatened to kill Xander, and so did Rahm. Renn had awoken with a start, realizing that they both had, that that portion of her dream was real. But Xander rocked her back to sleep multiple times in the night, not seeming to mind loosing his sleep to hold Renn. And inevitably, she'd fallen back asleep, comforted by the closeness of her soul mate. The idea of how much trouble Renn had gotten Xander into made her shake with fear more than anything else. But Xander's arms had distinguished that fire too.

Now though, Renn awoke to the steadiness of his breath, to the faint beat of his heart, and she found it so comforting. She didn't even question whether he loved her or not. One could not fake those feelings, and no one would stay around long enough under the circumstances to try. Xander was a real man, and he cared for her, loved for her, deeply. Renn couldn't bring herself to question why or how, but she just was thankful for such a wonderful man. Renn's hands felt over Xander's bear chest, feeling the warmth radiating from it. Her hands moved up and down his chest simultaneously. They wandered up to his neck, sliding under Renn's nose. Then, they finally found his face, his lips. Renn pulled down slightly on his lower lip until it looked like Maria when she was pouting. Then she let it loose, making a small clicking sound. Renn giggled, and repeated the action again. Xander moaned as she did it a third time, and began to stir.

He tried to turn away from her, but she caught his jaw before he could, pulling his face back towards her. She pressed her lips into his, moving her tongue along his lips only once before releasing him. [/size][/color]"Good morning, Xander,"[/b] Renn said, trying to sound her seductive voice again. "How are you this morning?"[/b] She traced the line of his jaw with her lips. She was great, now that the love of her life lie awake beside her.[/size]

This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous

[/size]But I..
Like it[/blockquote][/blockquote][/font][/center][/i]

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[/i]
other's speech
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Making things happen one day at a time

A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 3, 2012 19:22:27 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 3, 2012 19:22:27 GMT -5

Xander spent little of the night sleeping. Most of his night involved comforting Renn when she was awakened by nightmares or his own nightmares haunted his sleep. He had fallen asleep almost instantly, the feeling of Renn against him a comfort. Though the sleep was not a sound one, it was haunted by Wade, Rahm, and worst of all, Renn dying. It would wake him up, sweat would be dripping off his face and his chest would rise and fall quickly from the fear. Than he would look down at Renn's still form still at his side and he would know it was just a dream. Other times he would be awakened by Renn who would be having nightmares of her own. He would place his hand on her and wake her, and than lift her into his arms and whisper into her ear that he was there, that she had nothing to fear. Slowly she would sink back onto the sheets and fall asleep and he would lay there afraid to close his eyes, afraid of what he may see when sleep fell over him again. Inevitably though sleep would overtake him and the cycle would begin anew. This time though he didn't wake up, and the pain he felt was so real it hurt him.

He was finally given the opportunity to represent his district in the games, and against his better judgement he refused to allow someone to volunteer to replace him. He could see the pain in Renn's eyes as he told her he was leaving, and than she sat down and cried. Foolish as he was he couldn't see that she was with child, that he was leaving her alone with the child possibly never to return. Her worst nightmare was coming true, and in turn it became his nightmare. He won the games however and returned to the district a victor, his dream had come true. The first person he sought out to celebrate with was Renn, he searched everywhere he knew she may be but still he couldn't find her. Eventually he went to her home and asked where she was, and than came the most horrible news he could hear. Once he had left the district Wade took Renn, he tortured her and beat her demanding she return to him, but she refused. As a result Wade killed her, he had killed her slowly, telling her that Xander had abandoned her. The pain was terrible, his world was shattered, there was no one left for him. He would wander the district only a shell of his former self, his heart had been broken, the love of his life was gone.

Just when it felt as if his broken heart would be overcome with pain and would kill him he would awaken. He would lay there, his eyes staring at the ceiling, to afraid to move. A world without Renn was to painful to think of, he was sure now that he would never leave her. No matter what he wouldn't leave her. The thought of losing her was to much to bear. He would turn over and listen to Renn's breathing as she lay peacefully in the protection he had offered, and slowly he would let sleep overcome him. This was the routine they had that night, she would wake up he would comfort her, and than he would wake up with nothing to comfort him but Renn's quiet breathing. Finally though it appeared as if both of them had reached the point where they were to tired to even go through that routine, and they both fell into an undisturbed sleep.

Morning came to quickly though, and Xander was unwilling to wake up. Determined to keep his eyes shut he turned over and let his arm fall over Renn using her body to keep his eyes from seeing light. He fell into a light sleep, but felt Renn's hands fall upon his chest moving up and down his frame. Than they moved up his chest to his neck and than onto his lips. Ignoring her he tried to fall back asleep, but he felt his lower lip being pulled back and than snapping back into place. This was done several times, each time a giggle accompanied it, and he was almost tempted to smile. Finally she did it a third time, and a moan escaped his lips. Attempting to turn over away from her her hand caught his jaw forcing him to face her. Her lips pressed into his and let her tongue move across his lips, and right when he was about to kiss her back she pulled away. Her voice broke through the fog in his mind, a level of seduction in her voice he had become familiar with. He wasn't sure exactly what she had said, but he knew the tone in her voice and he took her in his arms and turned over so she lay on top of him. He took a guess at what she had said, and began to speak to her.

Well, the morning should have come faster actually, but now that it's here I'm great. I have you with me so it couldn't be better. He pulled her closer into his so he could return her good morning kiss. His lips came into contact with hers and he suddenly felt awake again, just the feeling of her lips against his made him feel happy. He let his tongue move slowly across her lips as he pulled her in closer to him. This was how it should be, her with him so that he could protect her, so he would never be alone.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 3, 2012 20:55:45 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 3, 2012 20:55:45 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

Almost as soon as the words left Renn's mouth, a smile crept onto Xander's face and he pulled on her arms until she was on top of him. He smiled at her, craning his neck as she lay her head down on his chest. [/size][/color]"Well, the morning should have come faster actually, but now that it's here I'm great. I have you with me so it couldn't be better." Renn's lips were stretched into a smile as he pulled her into him, letting their lips touch. He kissed her passionately, his tongue trailing the line of her lips. She took his face in her hands, pulling it towards her in encouragement. She'd been waiting all night for this. Her hands fell to his chest, feeling the heat beneath her. His chest was bare and solid. It was almost like a rock, but somehow, it was much softer to Renn then it should have been. It was like her security blanket, and she fell into it when she needed comfort.

Renn wiggled up on Xander more to reach his lips better. The hem of her shirt slipped up, but she didn't take time to fix it. She laid on Xander, their bare stomachs touching as she continued to kiss him, her tongue making endless laps around his lips. It was only a minute longer before Renn grew tired of the position they were in. She flipped over, pulling Xander on top of her this time, still not taking time to straighten her shirt. He tried to hold his weight up, but Renn let her fingers slip in and out of his belt loops, making him fall on top of her. It was the same reaction she had to him tracing the lines of her spine, and he was unable to regain himself. Renn held him there, putting pressure on the back of his neck until she was completely breathless. Xander's weight was cushioned by the bouncy bed beneath them, and it just felt like he was laying beside her, only the warmth of his body was on her front. Renn broke away from Xander's lips and took his face in her hands, guiding it to her neck. She kissed his neck too, slipping right above his collarbone. She pushed on the top of his head, instructing him to do the same. Small moans escaped her lips as his lips traveled across her neck and collarbone. The feeling was so great, so natural.

Renn always worried about kissing someone, and she never quite understood how to. She was just making everything up as she went along, and Xander seemed to do the same. She'd never really kissed Wade, their relationship was limited due to the watchful eyes of their parents, and now she was glad she didn't. Renn was happy she'd saved her first savory moment of romance for her soul-mate. For the man she wanted to spend every second of the rest of her life with. Renn kissed the top of Xander's head, the tips of his ears, everywhere she could get her lips in this position, she did. Exploring every facial feature of Xander's. Their relationship was so much more meaningful then her and Wade's had been. It was so much better. Renn never wanted these late mornings, and early nights to end. She never wanted Xander to leave her, and he'd promised, but not all promises could always be kept.

Renn knew Xander meant well. She knew he wasn't kissing her so passionately to make it harder on her to know he was leaving, but it did. Renn imagined him walking up on that stage, chest out with pride, as he took the place of a reaped tribute in the Hunger Games, every time their lips met. And every time, there was something in the back of her mind, telling her that this was wrong, that she shouldn't make it hard for him to leave. A kiss every now and then she wouldn't be able to resist, but he had to leave, and she couldn't complicate that for him. She would get through it. Maybe Rahm was right. Maybe, she'd move on. She'd never fall in love quite the same way, but she would always be loved by her parents. By her adopted parents, by Maria, and maybe, she would be loved by another man. Not quite as perfect, or strong, as Xander, but maybe she'd settle down and have a child, and never have to worry about it's father leaving them. She'd never have to support something that could mean her loved one's death.

The passion in Renn's kiss began to fade. She began to really take in everything she'd just thought about. Xander would be gone one of these days. And she would have to live without him. Renn pushed up on his chest and wiggled out from under him. She sat on the end of the bed, her feet dangling towards the ground. How could this ever work? How could she live out her fairy tale ending if her knight in shining armor was dead? Maybe he wouldn't die, but could she last that long without him? Renn was so lost and confused. She had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn't just sit by and let him fall deeper in love with her. What if one day they got carried away? What if Renn got pregnant? And she was left with the baby? Just like in her nightmares. But she couldn't leave him either. He needed her, he'd made that perfectly clear. He needed more focus on key points in his training, he needed support from someone who loved him, he needed someone to be his back-up if Wade ever came after them, or Rahm. He needed Renn every bit as much as she needed him. And if they didn't have each other, they would both eventually disintegrate.

Renn didn't know exactly what she was going to do next. But they had another day to face just like any other. If she could just get through the day, she could think more about it later. Renn spied Xander's shirt thrown lazily on the dresser in front of the bed. She got up and tossed it to him. He couldn't know what she was thinking about. He might make rash decisions he would regret later. The shirt landed on the bed next to him, but he didn't move for it. Renn walked over, sighing and exaggerated sigh. She slipped the tee shirt over his head and pulled his arms through the arm holes. Renn didn't mind having to do little things like this for him, when he'd done so much for her. He deserved rest from every little annoying thing he had to do in his life. For today, at the least, Renn would make things as easy as they could be for him.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 3, 2012 23:15:54 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 3, 2012 23:15:54 GMT -5

Renn was one for pleasure now, she fell into his kiss as if she had been waiting for it all night. In all honesty he had been waiting for it so it was entirely possible she had been to. Her hands fell back onto his chest resting over his heart. Her hands felt warm against his bare chest, and he smiled with pleasure at the feel of her touch. He felt her move her way up his body trying to get at his lips, and in the process he felt the hem of her shirt rise. She made no move to fix the "problem" instead she let their bare stomachs touch against eachother, and he couldn't help but feel a jolt run up his spine at the feel of her stomach against his. The current set up seemed to bore Renn though and she tugged at his arm causing him to fall on top of her, he attempted to rise off of her, but her fingers began to lace in and out of the belt loops on his jeans which had the same effect on him as his hand running down her back.

His hands came down near her sides touching against the skin still showing from her messy shirt. Sliding his hands underneath her shirt they rested right below her ribcage as she continued to draw his lips into hers. Once more though she seemed to grow bored with this and took his face in her hands moving it towards her neck. Sliding her own lips down to his collarbone she pushed on the back of his head telling him to do the same. He was more than happy to oblige her request letting his lips move along her neck, letting his breath form goosebumps on her neck before kissing her down to her collarbone. This was a comfort to him, to have her here with him, knowing she was so close. The nightmares would never come true, he wouldn't let them. Her presence by his side was a comfort and a gift, a gift he would not take for granted. He felt her lips move from his neck and kiss the top of his head, his ears, everywhere her lips could reach they did.

For several more minutes he lay there enjoying the feel of her lips, but suddenly they stopped. Renn slipped out from underneath him and sat down at the foot of the bed letting her feat dangle over the edge. She was thinking about something now, she had the same look in her eyes that she had the day before when she thought he had left her. She was still not convinved he wouldn't leave her, he hadn't told her of his plans to stay with her forever. His dream of being a champion had died just as Renn had died in his dreams, he couldn't live without Renn, but he could live without being a games champion. They had both had a dream where Renn ended up pregnant with their child, and he would not leave her with their child. He wouldn't leave her or their child to be alone. He continued to watch Renn with concern, but she didn't seem to notice, instead letting her eyes fall upon his shirt cast lazily on the dresser. Getting up she tossed it at him, but he made no attempt to put it on, instead keeping his eyes on her. She sighed exaggerating a sense of exasperation at his unwillingness to cooperate. Walking over to him she put the shirt on him, sliding his arms through the sleeves, and right when she finished he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her on top of him.

He let his hands slide under her shirt and slipped his fingers under the waist line of her jeans holding her in place and rested his head on her shoulder. He turned his head slightly so his lips were centimeters away from her ear and whispered into it. "You were thinking of something my love, you had that same look in your eyes you had when you thought I had left you. I don't want to see that look in your eyes, come on, tell me what you were thinking about. No excuses otherwise I won't let you get up. To prove his point he slipped his fingers further below her waistline so she wouldn't be able to move. Resting his head on her shoulder he waited for an answer to his question hoping she would tell him, he didn't want them to have any secrets from eachother.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 4, 2012 16:32:41 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 4, 2012 16:32:41 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

The minute Xander's arms were inside the sleeves of his shirt, he grabbed Renn's waist, pulling her onto his lap. His warm fingers slipped under her shirt, then found the waistline of her jeans. His hands slipped ever so slightly below the waistband of her Renn's jeans, his head falling onto her shoulder. Xander put his lips right next to Renn's ear and spoke in his velvet voice, causing Renn to lean father into him. [/size][/color]"You were thinking of something my love, you had that same look in your eyes you had when you thought I had left you. I don't want to see that look in your eyes, come on, tell me what you were thinking about. No excuses otherwise I won't let you get up." To add to the last sentence, Xander's hands slipped precariously under her jeans. He let his head resume it's place on her shoulder and she could feel he was ready for a long answer.

Renn started by pulling his hands away from the waistline of her jeans. If he wanted a logical answer, rather than babble, he'd have to let her concentrate. She moved his hands to her thighs. Placing their hands so that his was touching her thigh, and her's over top, and he held the tips of her fingers in his, she rubbed them up and down her thighs, letting the action coax an answer out of her. "I don't want to tell you... it will only make things harder... but we still need to go to training, and I'd rather walk there myself than you refusing to put me down. The truth is, that... I know you mean the best for me. I know you love me, and you promise things to make me happy and feel safe. And up until this point, it's worked. I've never felt more safe in my life when I'm with you. But.. it won't work in the future. You can't protect me forever. I can't make you always be there for me. I just can't ask that of you. You have dreams to live, and I'm doing my best to encourage them, to help you succeed. But even if you do, and you come back... I just don't know... if I can last.. that long... without you."[/b]

Tears leaked from Renn's eyes. She wasn't supposed to be this selfish. If she was a real person, she'd not make it any harder for Xander than it needed to be. She'd tell him she'd be fine, or even, if it helped, she would leave him. He didn't need any distractions in the upcoming months. He didn't need Renn from a logical standpoint. But perhaps from an emotional standpoint, she was an essential. Still, it would have been better for him if she'd never let him fall in love with her.

"And I'm so selfish. And stupid. I should have known right from the start. I did know right from the start. I even warned you this would happen. But when I thought I was falling apart, I just had to depend on you, the most trained career in all the districts to take from the pile. I had to have you skip vital training days to comfort me. I had to cause you the stress from my brothers and my ex. I just had to bring all of this on you. And I just hope you can see why you don't need me, why you shouldn't want me. Why do shouldn't... need me the way you do. I can tell you all these things. I would leave if that's what you said you needed, because I love you that much. I can do whatever will make it easier for you to say goodbye, even when you do come back. But I can't stop myself from loving you. I can't tell myself I don't want you. Because I do. Desperately. I want every square inch of you all to myself. And I'm selfish for that. I'm stupid, and rude and selfish, and you don't.. I'm not... smart, for you.[/b]

Renn saw Xander's expression dampen. She'd done it again, hurt him unintentionally. She'd caused him unnecessary pain, and unnecessary stress. Renn took his face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eye. "What you need is glory. Think of the district and your family. Think of the family you will have one day. They'll need every bit of that victory money, whether it's me, or your smart enough to look elsewhere. Xander, I can't stop myself from loving you, or wanting you, or feeling you. But it would be smart of you to realize that those things are not something you want or need. I love you... with all my heart. And I can't watch you go. I can't be here when they call your name, or your arm shoots out of the crowd. I can't watch you stand broad-chested and scowl into the crowd. I can't watch you turn into a monster when you're so gentle to me. I can't watch it happen. And I need to leave."[/size][/b]

This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 4, 2012 18:32:55 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 4, 2012 18:32:55 GMT -5

"I don't want to tell you... it will only make things harder... but we still need to go to training, and I'd rather walk there myself than you refusing to put me down. The truth is, that... I know you mean the best for me. I know you love me, and you promise things to make me happy and feel safe. And up until this point, it's worked. I've never felt more safe in my life when I'm with you. But.. it won't work in the future. You can't protect me forever. I can't make you always be there for me. I just can't ask that of you. You have dreams to live, and I'm doing my best to encourage them, to help you succeed. But even if you do, and you come back... I just don't know... if I can last.. that long... without you."

Renn's words cut into him like a knife. Her pain was his pain, and he could feel the pain in her words. What could he tell her though that could comfort her, his words never seemed to penetrate the shield she had around her heart. She said she loved him, and yet she was telling him he needed to leave her. How could she not see that he would do anything for her, he had told her he would always be there for her, and still she didn't believe him. He hadn't told her yet that he wasn't going to volunteer for the Games because of her because he didn't want her to feel like she had ruined his plans. He knew she hadn't ruined his plans, his plans had become so much bigger since he had met her. There was more to his life now than fighting, being sent into an arena where you might not come out. Before now it was a thrill to him, he didn't fear death, but when he met her that changed. He worried about leaving her, his nightmares during the night proved that to him. His life would be worthless without her.

"And I'm so selfish. And stupid. I should have known right from the start. I did know right from the start. I even warned you this would happen. But when I thought I was falling apart, I just had to depend on you, the most trained career in all the districts to take from the pile. I had to have you skip vital training days to comfort me. I had to cause you the stress from my brothers and my ex. I just had to bring all of this on you. And I just hope you can see why you don't need me, why you shouldn't want me. Why do shouldn't... need me the way you do. I can tell you all these things. I would leave if that's what you said you needed, because I love you that much. I can do whatever will make it easier for you to say goodbye, even when you do come back. But I can't stop myself from loving you. I can't tell myself I don't want you. Because I do. Desperately. I want every square inch of you all to myself. And I'm selfish for that. I'm stupid, and rude and selfish, and you don't.. I'm not... smart, for you.

His attitude took a shift from sadness to puzzlement. How could she say that she was selfish, she wasn't forcing him to stay with her? He was staying with her because to leave her now would tear him apart, his life would end. There was nothing that had happened to this point that he would not do all over again for her. Wade wasn't a problem, he was twice the size of him, and could easily overcome him in a fair fight. Than there was her brothers, as long as she was with him they wouldn't try anything. Rahm spoke tough, but he had to care about Renn, and that care would be enough to protect him. The training meant nothing to him if it meant he couldn't be with her, if he trained it would be expected of him to volunteer for the games, and he didn't want to leave her. He looked into her face as the tears streaked down her cheeks, uncontrolled emotions causing them to cascade quickly down her face. He continued to look sadly into her face, he knew she wasn't finished yet, there were to many holes in her statements. Preparing himself for the end he took a deep breath, and waited to hear it.

"What you need is glory. Think of the district and your family. Think of the family you will have one day. They'll need every bit of that victory money, whether it's me, or your smart enough to look elsewhere. Xander, I can't stop myself from loving you, or wanting you, or feeling you. But it would be smart of you to realize that those things are not something you want or need. I love you... with all my heart. And I can't watch you go. I can't be here when they call your name, or your arm shoots out of the crowd. I can't watch you stand broad-chested and scowl into the crowd. I can't watch you turn into a monster when you're so gentle to me. I can't watch it happen. And I need to leave."

These were not the words he had been expecting, they were not the words he had wanted to hear. Sadness and anger formed into one emotion, and he tore his arms away from Renn drawing himself up to his full height. A look of sadness and anger contorted his face as he tried to get a hold on what she had just said. His family, the district, the family he would have, they meant nothing to him. His family was no longer important, the district would get another victor and the only person he wanted to start a family with was Renn. There was no one in all of Panem that could even tempt him, Renn was so perfect. She was everything he wanted, more than everything, she was his world. Uncontrolled emotions bubbled up to the surface and he began to yell out into the room, he didn't care who could hear anymore.

Don't you get it Renn, I can't live without you. You tell me that you need to leave, but that won't make me be more attentive to my training. My training is no longer important to me, the games would mean nothing to me if I got back and you weren't here. I won't let you die Renn, I can't go through that again. Last night I dreamt that when I left Wade came and took you away while I was gone. You were pregnant with our child just as you had been in your dream, and Wade killed you and the child. He didn't do it quickly, he tortured you and told you that I didn't love you, that's why I had left for the games. I came back a victor of the games, and the one person I wanted to see was you. I searched everywhere for you and I couldn't find you. Finally the news came to my ears that Wade had killed you and the baby and than disappeared. My life was finished....I just wanted to lay down somewhere I die.....the world meant nothing to me if you weren't there. No victory feast, no other girl could bring me the happiness that you give me. I won't lose you like I did in that nightmare, I'm no longer going to volunteer for the games....because the thought of losing you....makes me want to die. I won't lose you again....not again.....I couldn't deal with it if I lost you....I won't lose you....

His voice trailed off as for the first time in his life a tear fell from his eyes. He looked into Renn's face, her cheeks still bearing the streaks of her own tears. He walked up to her and put his arms around her and finally broke down. Sitting down on the bed he placed Renn on his lap and began rocking back and forth. With his arms around her he knew she was still there, still breathing, still the love of his life. When she was away from him his world was cold, without a purpose. He needed her, there was no other way of putting it, it was more than love he felt for her, it was something no words could describe. Tightening his arms around her he rested his chin on her head as another tear slid slowly down his cheek. She was the first person who could make him break down the way he had, and he wasn't ever going to let her go.

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 4, 2012 22:45:05 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 4, 2012 22:45:05 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

Renn was about to turn around and kiss him, afraid she'd hurt it too much, afraid that she needed to rephrase something. But she was too cowardly to form the words. Therefore, she was just going to hope that her lips would be enough to fix what she'd broken, but Xander wouldn't have that. He stood up, puffing out his chest in anger, his fingers wound tight against his palms. Renn fell back onto the bed, quickly scooting away in fear as Xander began to yell at her.

[/size][/color]"Don't you get it Renn, I can't live without you. You tell me that you need to leave, but that won't make me be more attentive to my training. My training is no longer important to me, the games would mean nothing to me if I got back and you weren't here. I won't let you die Renn, I can't go through that again. Last night I dreamt that when I left Wade," Renn shivered at his name. Xander's words were meant to be comforting, but he was honestly scaring her. And dare she think it, he was reminding her of Wade when she told him she had to leave. "came and took you away while I was gone. You were pregnant with our child just as you had been in your dream, and Wade killed you and the child. He didn't do it quickly, he tortured you and told you that I didn't love you, that's why I had left for the games."Renn became slightly angry. Wade was haunting his dreams too. Putting unnecessary images into Xander's mind. It had caused him so much stress that he burst. Slowly, his voice came lower and lower, and Renn regained herself, but stayed back on the bed. "I came back a victor of the games, and the one person I wanted to see was you. I searched everywhere for you and I couldn't find you. Finally the news came to my ears that Wade had killed you and the baby and than disappeared. My life was finished....I just wanted to lay down somewhere I die.....the world meant nothing to me if you weren't there. No victory feast, no other girl could bring me the happiness that you give me. I won't lose you like I did in that nightmare, I'm no longer going to volunteer for the games....because the thought of losing you....makes me want to die. I won't lose you again....not again.....I couldn't deal with it if I lost you....I won't lose you...."

His voice trailed off, and a single tear dripped from his eye. Meanwhile, Renn was a mess of tears, a wet coating covering the front of her shirt. Xander's arms reached out to her and Renn recoiled at first, suddenly afraid of Xander when he was mad. But his gentle grasp and the slow motion of their body's rocking back and forth calmed Renn. He rest his chin on the top of her head, smoothing her hair. A tear fell from his eye and landed on Renn's forehead, slowly making it's way to join her tears that drenched her shirt. Slowly, the fearful tension in her body released, and she let Xander rock her back and forth, her knees curled to her chest, and his arms around her entire frame. After a few minutes of this, she looked up at Xander, his bronze eyes wet with tears. Renn didn't even bother to think about what she said before she said it. The feelings she described came to her as she was explaining them to Xander.

"I can't.. I can't watch you... loose something you want for me.."[/b] Renn tried to choose her words carefully, the fear edging into her voice involuntarily. "But if you're sure.. positive. That that's what you want now, what you'll always want.. I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. You know what? You're pretty hard-headed. I don't think I could convince you if I tried. Xander, I love you. With every part of me. And I want to be with you forever. I want you to hold he when I get scared, or, be there when I have our child. If both of them had dreamt it, then there must be a child somewhere in their future. "I want you to hold my hand through all the rough parts. I want to give you something more than myself... You deserve even more than that." Renn spoke with confidence now, sure that she was choosing the right words. She unlocked her knees from her chest and kiss Xander lightly on the line of his jaw. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Xander. Now and forever."[/b][/size]

This Slope Is Treacherous
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This Slope it Treacherous

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 5, 2012 13:37:21 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 5, 2012 13:37:21 GMT -5

Slowly while he sat with Renn cradled in his lap he came to realize his outburst may have been no better than Wade was to her. A feeling of regret settled on him as he rocked back and forth seeking comfort in knowing Renn was so close. He just couldn't bare to lose her now, the last few days had been a revelation to him, showing him there was so much more to life. His angry outburst was fueled by his love for her, but he couldn't remove the image of fear from his mind as he had yelled at her. She almost recoiled away from him when he had embraced her. Perhaps though she realized what she meant to him, how his life would fall apart if he lost her. The images of his nightmares during the night flashed through his mind again causing a chill to run down his spine. He wasn't going to lose her, she had become so important to him, she was his life now. Her voice broke the silence, starting out small, but gaining strength as she continued.

"I can't.. I can't watch you... loose something you want for me.." "But if you're sure.. positive. That that's what you want now, what you'll always want.. I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. You know what? You're pretty hard-headed. I don't think I could convince you if I tried. Xander, I love you. With every part of me. And I want to be with you forever. I want you to hold he when I get scared, or, be there when I have our child. "I want you to hold my hand through all the rough parts. I want to give you something more than myself... You deserve even more than that. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Xander. Now and forever."

She had seemed afraid at first, as if her words might trigger another outburst from him. He was resolved to never do that again to her, because the fear in her eyes had hurt him. As she continued though her voice grew stronger, as her voice grew stronger she unlocked her knees from her chest and kissed him lightly on his jaw. The words she spoke meant the world to him, they were the words he had only dreamed she would say. For better or worse she knew now what she meant to him. She was now aware of his plans to stay with her forever, and she didn't seem to mind. He turned her around in his lap and looked into her eyes, they were still wet from the tears that had been falling so freely before, and he brought his thums to her face to wipe away what remained. Looking into her eyes brought a thought to his mind, it was a crazy thought, something that made him shiver with excitement. If she meant what she said to him than perhaps it wouldn't seem so crazy, he already knew he was ready for the commitment.

He leaned forward letting his lips come into contact with her. His tongue slowly, rythmically moving around her lips. His heart rate increased as he slid his hands around her waist, and fell back onto the bed taking her with him. In his mind he began to form how he would approach his new plan. He knew that there was an old jewelry box in one of the draws here, perhaps he could find someting suitable for her in there, at least until he got her someting special. Pulling her close into him his kiss lingered for a few minutes more before he broke away. Turning over so she was underneath him he kissed her neck and than slid off of the bed. Walking over to the dresser across from the bed he pulled out the old jewelry box and began to rummage through it with his back to Renn.

There was nothing in there, it was all to old and rusted. Just when he was about to give up he saw the glint of something underneath one of the draws. Pulling at it revealed that it was a ring, it wasn't fancy, perhaps used as a cheep trinket, but it would do the trick for now. Sliding it into his pocket he walked back over to the bed and sat down at the edge of it, and pulled Renn up so she was sitting at his side. The look in her eyes was confused, and a smile crept onto his face. The apprehension was getting to him, and he was afraid the longer he took he might lose his nerve. Taking a deep breath to slow his rapidly beating heart he began to speak softly to her.

Renn, it wasn't until I met you that I saw the world as more than a battleground. Before I met you my life was fighting, hurting, even killing, and I didn't even think about it. I felt I had no reason to think about it because I thought that only the strong should survive. It was a horrible philosophy, and I regret my actions now. You showed me that even I was not as strong as I thought I was, you broke me physically and mentally, I'm not the same man that I was before I met you. I love you as I've never loved anyone, and the thought of losing you is more painful than any wound I could suffer to a weapon. My greatest fear is knowing you won't be at my side, and I want to make sure that I never lose you. Because as soon as I lose you I know my life would end. Look.....what I'm trying to say is..... He began to lose his nerve, they had only known eachother for a few days and yet his love for her knew no bounds. She had said that she loved him, now and forever, but how would she react to his proposal? Would she think it was rushing things, or would she be just as willing as he was now. Sliding his hand into his pocket he took the ring out encased in his hand, and than took her hand. He had to to do it now, he couldn't live without her, she had to know that. Opening his hand he revealed the ring to her, and felt a rush of blood rise to his cheeks. Now or never, nerves or not, he was going to do it.

Renn....will you....marry me....the world is a brighter place when I have you by my side. You are the reason I fight now, you are the reason that I exist. You completed me, I didn't realize how much I needed you until I had met you. Now I want to be with you always, I can't think of a world where you're not with me.

After he was finished he grew nervous, what would she say, would she think he was foolish? He loved her so much, he meant every word he had said to her. Just looking in her eyes now, she was so beautiful, so perfect, he wanted to be with her always, she was who he wanted more than anyone in all of Panem.

(OOC:Sorry if it's not what you were expecting, I finished it at work.)

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A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 6, 2012 19:40:52 GMT -5

Post by mcmarti99 on Dec 6, 2012 19:40:52 GMT -5

Put Your Lips Next to Mine

[/size]As Long As They Don't Touch
[/color]Eye To Focus Eye To Eye
Till your gravity's too much.[/font][/center]

[/i]

Xander's hands slipped under Renn's arms, turning her around in his lap. She'd curled her knees in so that now she was facing him, her knees resting on his, his hand keeping her steady at her back. Renn tried to hide her face, but his prying gaze forced her to look into his eyes. Those orbs of pure bronze, but so much more worthy than the metal itself. He was like gold to Renn, something she wanted so badly, something so precious and valuable, she could never lose it. Yet, he had the toughness of bronze and could stand up to just about everything, being fueled by Renn's love. Xander's lips found Renn's from lots of practice, and his tongue traced thoughtfully around her mouth. Renn kissed him back with equal passion, so lucky to have her own piece of heaven right below her. He laid back on the bed, taking Renn with him. She lay carelessly on his chest, her hands moving up and down his huge arms, all over his face and neck, and then burying themselves below herself on his bulgy chest.

After a few minutes, his lips left her's. She leaned forward, trying to find him again, but before she could, he flipped over, pinning Renn beneath him. She tugged on his shirt, trying to pull him back down on top of her, trying desperately to enjoy her haven while she could. He kissed her neck, sending goosebumps racing to cover every part of her body, but then pulled away, standing up by the edge of the bed. Renn ran her fingers through the hair closest to her scalp. She wasn't done with him yet. She sat, ready to put out her pout lip when he turned around. He rummaged through the drawers in the dresser across from the bed. When he turned, all her preparations were abandoned, and all she could muster was a confused look. He smiled and pulled her next to him. Renn began to snuggle into his side as she always did, but he turned to her, his position making that rather impossible. This would have to be important, because Renn was no where close to finished yet.

[/size][/color]"Renn, it wasn't until I met you that I saw the world as more than a battleground. Before I met you my life was fighting, hurting, even killing, and I didn't even think about it. I felt I had no reason to think about it because I thought that only the strong should survive. It was a horrible philosophy, and I regret my actions now. You showed me that even I was not as strong as I thought I was, you broke me physically and mentally, I'm not the same man that I was before I met you. I love you as I've never loved anyone, and the thought of losing you is more painful than any wound I could suffer to a weapon. My greatest fear is knowing you won't be at my side, and I want to make sure that I never lose you. Because as soon as I lose you I know my life would end. Look.....what I'm trying to say is..... " He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to her. A silver band with a shimmering diamond made Xander's eyes sparkle, and Renn's lit up with delight. "Renn....will you....marry me....the world is a brighter place when I have you by my side. You are the reason I fight now, you are the reason that I exist. You completed me, I didn't realize how much I needed you until I had met you. Now I want to be with you always, I can't think of a world where you're not with me.

For a moment, such excitement and joy overtook the logical side of Renn's mind. Xander had just asked her.. to.. marry him! Renn beamed. It was strange, but Renn felt this want, or need rather, to be Xander's. She wanted to belong to him somehow. She wanted him to stick a claim on her so no one else could, because she didn't want anyone else. Renn didn't want her brothers to have any more power over her. She wanted Xander to have her. She wanted to be his. Forever and always. She smiled equally wide at Xander, and took her hand from his. She was about to reach for the silver band in his hand, but she stopped. Her smile vanished as soon as it had came. Xander's expression faded, and was replaced by confusion and hurt. Renn took his hands, and tried to explain to him.. why they shouldn't. Not now.

"Xander.. I.. Yes! Yes! I want to so bad! I love you, I want and need you. My heart aches for you every second your fingers aren't intertwined with mine. I dream of the life we will have together almost as much as I do about loosing you. You are my everything, the pure reason for my very existence.... but.. I can't. It's not what you think though! I'm not scared. I'm not.. reluctant. Not at all. It's just that... we can both have a future you know. We can go farther then the boundaries of the district. We can train our butts off and make into the games. We could win. We could be heroes and famous and rich. And we could always have each other. Or, something else. I don't know. All I know, is that my heart is dead set on marrying you. Don't doubt for a minute that I don't love you... It's just that sometimes, those 18 inches from my head to my heart cause complications. It makes things hard for me. My brain is screaming at me that this isn't logical. That it's not worth it. But my heart is overpowering. It's tearing me apart, ripping me to shreds. I need to compromise, unless we want me to have a war with myself. In order to be happy, to not question everything.. I have to compromise. I have every intention of marrying you. I will always love and adore everything about you. But I can't. Not now. Not while we're still young and have the rest of our lives ahead."[/b]

Renn didn't look at his face for a reaction. She curled his fingers around the silver ring and kissed each one of them, one by one. She pulled his hand to her heart. This loosened up the pain it was enduring. Her heart wanted to badly to marry Xander. To mother his children. But her head would just not agree. The ring pressed into her chest was a symbol to her heart. That someday, that ring would be on her finger. Renn pulled Xander closer to her, and buried her head in his chest. Whispering softly, "I love you. With every inch of myself."[/b] Over and over again into his chest.[/size]

This Slope Is Treacherous
This Daydream is Dangerous.
This Path is Reckless
This Slope it Treacherous

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Making things happen one day at a time

A new beginning or a bad mistake(Kiara) Dec 6, 2012 23:05:35 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Dec 6, 2012 23:05:35 GMT -5

"Xander.. I.. Yes! Yes! I want to so bad! I love you, I want and need you. My heart aches for you every second your fingers aren't intertwined with mine. I dream of the life we will have together almost as much as I do about loosing you. You are my everything, the pure reason for my very existence.... but.. I can't. It's not what you think though! I'm not scared. I'm not.. reluctant. Not at all. It's just that... we can both have a future you know. We can go farther then the boundaries of the district. We can train our butts off and make into the games. We could win. We could be heroes and famous and rich. And we could always have each other. Or, something else. I don't know. All I know, is that my heart is dead set on marrying you. Don't doubt for a minute that I don't love you... It's just that sometimes, those 18 inches from my head to my heart cause complications. It makes things hard for me. My brain is screaming at me that this isn't logical. That it's not worth it. But my heart is overpowering. It's tearing me apart, ripping me to shreds. I need to compromise, unless we want me to have a war with myself. In order to be happy, to not question everything.. I have to compromise. I have every intention of marrying you. I will always love and adore everything about you. But I can't. Not now. Not while we're still young and have the rest of our lives ahead."

It was safe to say that this was not the reaction he had been seeking. He was confused and hurt, everything that she had said made him feel like she wanted to be with him forever, to get married. Perhaps though he had misinterpreted what she had been saying, but that didn't make any sense either, her feelings for him were just as strong as his for her. Why than the hesitation, why now did she seem to balk at the question. All these thoughts swirled through his head as he felt her own head against his chest. He could hear her repeating over and over that she loved him with every inch of herself, but that only served to confuse him further. Why, why, why did she refuse him, she told him that she wanted to, and yet still she refused.

She was still so focused on the games, did she not see that the chances were slim that both of them would survive? Than what if they were both reaped for the same games, they would be forced to kill eachother. He couldn't even imagine it coming down to that, forced to level a blade at the one he loved. No, he wouldn't allow that to happen, he had to get her to see that trying for the games would either make one or both of them break down emotionally. They were young, he couldn't argue that fact, but they both wanted to be with eachother so much. It wasn't uncommon for young couples in District 1 to get married though, they wouldn't be the first, and certainly not the last. The rest of their lives might be ahead of them, but the future seemed so much brighter when he saw Renn at his side, as Renn Thrash. There was one chance he had to convince her to stay with him, to be the alpha to his omega, to become Renn Thrash.

Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her onto his lap. He began to rock back and forth running his hand through her hair letting a silence settle over the room. It was peaceful setting, Renn sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around her in a protective embrace, his frame acting as a shield to the world around them. Slowly he slid himself further onto the bed and lay down, turning on his side he let Renn fall carefully beside him. Taking her hair he moved it onto her shoulder and continued to run his hand through it and down to her thigh. Leaning down he kissed her cheek and began to talk, attempting to sound as convincing as possible. He would save his trump card for after his speech, to act as an exclamation point.

Renn, being rich and famous only means something to me if you're by my side. You say that we could train for the games, that we could win, but even I can't begin to guess the results of the games. No amount of training can prepare you for the arena, when you're faced with a choice of life or death. Than there is the danger of both of us being reaped for the same games, I could not live with myself if I had to fight you, infact I wouldn't be able to fight you. No, I couldn't bare the thought of you dying in the games, I don't want to see your face in the sky as they list the fallen tributes. As for our lives, the future only looks bright if I have you by my side....as Renn Thrash, my beautiful wife. We can't be the youngest couple ever to get married in the district, and no one here can hold a candle to the love we have for eachother. Both my mind and my heart are telling me that I need to be with you, that I always need to be with you. The future I want is with you....forever and always....I can't see a future where you aren't with me.

Shifting his weight he rolled on top of her. She turned to look into his face as it hovered close to her. He smiled at her and slid one of his hands under her shirt to hold onto her waist. He leaned down and let his lips fall into hers, he leaned into her, pressing his lips into hers trying to pour the love and care he had for her into the kiss. This was the exclamation point to his statement, his attempt to convince her to follow her heart and be with him.

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