Summer Smith|D6

Summer Smith|D6 Mar 29, 2013 19:20:23 GMT -5

Post by gliss on Mar 29, 2013 19:20:23 GMT -5

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Personality

And you dont know, what I'm going through and,
You might think, it's all about you,
But its everything,
I've been holding back,
It's just bad timing
To come at me like that

My father is talking to a woman. He offers to give her dinner and takes her to my home. Seconds later, I come out of a room, a little bundle of joy. (Well, tears really.) I hear a piercing shriek, and while its not seen, I know the woman's life has ended. I'm just dreaming, but it's impossible to wake up. Next I see a Peacekeeper in our home, taking Father. I'm screaming and crying. I wake up, sweaty from tossing and turning in bed. My father was a physiologist who did experiments to try to create the perfect family. He promised women that for participating in the experiment, they would be given riches. That wasn't the case. Before I knew about the experiments, I dreamed of my mother holding me tight in her arms. I know better now that my older sister Charlie ratted him out. Sure, it was the right thing to do- but did she really have to? I loved Father, even if I was a mistake in his eyes. I was supposed to be a genius. What Father didn't know was that I had something called Borderline Personality Disorder, which makes my emotions more intense and last longer. When he found out, I think that's when he gave up on me being a little genius. I remember the disappointment in his eyes. I was only six, and I was devastated. Remember, amplified emotions. After a day of moping, I followed Charlie past the district fence.

Charlie sneaks outside the district fence lots, so I figured there must be something interesting back there. It's mostly just trees and stuff, but those can be made interesting. I taught myself how to climb trees. It might seem simple, but it's really not. There's an art to it. I've spent a lot of time in the woods. I often convince my friends to come with me. A girl named Horizon is my usual partner, though another girl named Mara will be joining us tonight. At school, I have a reputation as a troublemaker. I often talk out of turn, because what is it going to matter later? Nobody will not hire me just because they happen to know I was a troublemaker. The kids at school see me as someone who is fun, but also dangerous to associate with. The little kids are fun to mess with. I can tell them to do anything and they'll do it. They love me, but they are also scared of me. It's an odd relationship, but it helps me so I won't complain.

Speaking of relationships, Charlie is my role model. She is fearless, something I am not. My other siblings are too stuck-up. They turned out like they were supposed too, and they take every opportunity to remind me. We argue sometimes, but then again, doesn't every family argue? We're nowhere even close to normal, but that's one little snippet of averageness we have. Being normal is overrated anyway. It's so boring. I try to spice things up in my life. I sometimes try to sabotage my siblings. I'll put milk in one's hair at night, or hide their toothbrush. If I can't be perfect anytime, they can live with not being perfect for a day, right? I try to help out though, especially now that Father is gone. I tried dropping out of school to save money, but for some reason I wasn't allowed to. I don't like school that much, but I go anyway purely because I have to. Hours of my day not able to be wild need to be supplemented with hours of being wild. That's why I'm going on an adventure tonight. I slip out of bed to start preparing.

Appearance

I try to keep my cool, thus,
That's what I try to do but,
It's so hard dealing with
People just like you.
I try to walk away from
Situations that run
Into complications
That make me lose control.

I walk over to the mirror. My unmanageable hair is twisted and tangled. Lots of girls would kill for wavy hair like mine, but its not all its cracked up to be. It ties itself into knots as I sleep, and I have to brush each knot out if I want even a chance at looking presentable. My teachers wouldn't be surprised if I showed up to school looking how I look in the morning- I'm quite the troublemaker. But I don't want to create a bad image for my family, so I brush and brush and brush and brush and brush some more every morning. Tonight is different. I pull my hair back into a messy bun and secure it with a rubber band. My hair is golden-brown, which would be a nice trait if I weren't about to do what I'm about to do. I have to trust that my hair won't be too shiny and give me away. It's probably an irrational fear- I doubt Peacekeepers go around looking for girls with shiny hair- but it's a fear nonetheless, and fear is exhilarating. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are staring straight back at me. It's pretty creepy. My eyes aren't anything special; they're a simple brown. A friend of mine has these piercing blue eyes, but honestly I think it'd be weird having people paying special attention to my eyes. Thankfully my face looks pretty average. Sure, I've been told I have a small nose, but that's as far as my nonconformity looks-wise goes.

I'm about to pull my black shirt just past the bruise on my arm when I realize I don't have to hide the bruise. In fact, I can show it off and tell its story to my friends. (I scraped it against a tree I was climbing, though the way I tell it is much more dramatic.) At any given moment, you can count on me to have a few scrapes or bruises, but usually never anything serious. My worst injury was a broken arm when I was ten, but I've learned my lesson since then. I roll the sleeves of my shirt up like a tank top, showing my full arm. my arms aren't sticks, but they aren't super muscly either. It's a bit cold, but I don't mind. I'm pretty adjusted to whatever weather the world throws at me. I grasp the door handle, about to open it, when I realize I've forgotten a flashlight. The cabinet here it's stored is meant to be out of reach, but I'm tall enough to reach it. I think I'm around 5'7" or 5'8". My arms and legs are long, perfect for climbing trees. I'm not particularly skinny or fat, although I do lean toward the skinny side. I haven't weighed myself in a while, out of fear that I'll be heavier than I want to be.

I open the door from my room (hopefully silently) and tiptoe out. As soon as I'm out of my house, I run to the district fence. I've checked, there aren't any Peacekeepers this time of night for about 3/4 of a mile. I run quickly. I have enough endurance where I can run to past the district fence and to the meeting tree with energy to spare. I run to the tree where I'm supposed to meet Horizon and Mara and wait. I toss a stone at a target I've drawn on a tree. The stone doesn't come anywhere close to where I was aiming for, but that's okay. It's not like my life depends on whether I can throw a stone or not. Generally speaking, I have bad aim. Bows and arrows, slingshots, and stone decide to go wherever I don't want them to go if I try to aim. I'm not uncoordinated, I just- Come to think of it, I might be uncoordinated. I couldn't dance to save my life. But nobody needs to know that. After all, I look like Miss Graceful when I climb a tree. I look the tree up and down, about to climb it, when I hear Horizon's feet pitter-pattering across the leaves. Mara is right behind her. Time for some fun.

Personality

If I give in to you then,
It's what you want me to do,
And if I lose my cool,
Then I'm only pleasing you,
You know just how to push me,
My temperature is rising,
Blood pressure is building,
I'm about to lose control...

I make the universal gesture for "come here" to Horizon and Mara. "Okay," I say. "Follow me, and do as I do." I run to the cliff that I discovered a week ago. I check to make sure my friends are there, and they are. I look down the cliff. There is a lake at the bottom, which I tested to make sure it was deep. I walk back a few steps. My heart is pounding. I'm not fearless. I'm brave. If I were fearless, this would be no fun. My heart wouldn't pound, I wouldn't get the sensation of excitement. I step back a few more steps. I smile, then take of running. When I get to the edge of the cliff, I jump. I am falling. In a flash, I am surrounded by water. I swim over to the edge of the lake, and exit. I'm gleeful now, the same way I feel after any cool stunt. The feeling should last anywhere between 12 hours and a week. I give a big thumbs-up to Horizon and Mara. Horizon jumps. I help her out of the water. "Mara won't go," she says. "Scaredy-cat," I say playfully. "Falling does help me,like you said," Horizon says. "You have no idea how weird I've feeling lately. One minute I'm the happiest person ever, the next I'm sad." She thinks her emotions are hard to keep in check? Try living in a world ruled by emotions. Try being a teenager, with crazy emotions without having something that causes it anyway, with amplified emotions. I bet I'm turning red like I normally do when I'm mad. "You think your feelings are unmanageable?" I mutter. She knows me well enough to stop talking.

Normally I'm not like this. Normally I'm sociable and bright. The normal term for this would be "social butterfly," but I don't want to be compared to a butterfly. I'm more of a lion, to be honest. There was a lion in an arena once, before I was born. I think it's some sort of mutt. A lion is brave and noble. "Social lion" isn't a very well-known term, however, so I just describe myself as social. I'm good at getting others to join in my adventures. Despite the fact that I'm a troublemaker, my teachers still like me. I'm charismatic like that. At school, I tend to get into trouble a lot. Most kids with Borderline Personality Disorder like me would suffer from shame for days if they got in trouble, but I've figured out how not to feel shame at all. I'm certainly not self-conscious, that's for sure. I mean, I'd rather kids not spread rumors about me, but I'm not embarrassed if they do. It shouldn't matter what other people think of you anyway.

"C'mon," I call to Horizon. I walk up the hill next to the cliff in stony silence. I'm soaking wet, but in terms of feelings I'm on fire. When we get up, I shoot a glare at Mara. I run back home and get under my bed sheets. I don't want to go back to sleep. I'm afraid that I'll have more nightmares. Sometimes I have nightmares about the Peacekeepers coming, other times, about my mother, and sometimes about me being reaped. I don't want to be reaped. The thought of having to kill terrifies me. I don't think I could ever bring myself to end a human life the way my father did many times. Hurt someone, maybe, but ending a life full of hopes and aspirations... I couldn't. I might be a troublemaker, but I don't want to hurt anyone. Despite not wanting to fall asleep, I drift off into a peaceful sleep.

I'm sorry did I,
Did I cross the line, I
Tried to warn you away,
Way ahead of time,
I'm so frustrated that I,
Feel like I could cry,
This could be the time,
But I'm not going out like that...

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Other: Told in the form of a story because that's how Summer sees her life.