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pika
Retired Staff

586 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen May 7, 2022 18:36:48 GMT -5

pika attempts coding Apr 11, 2013 8:56:47 GMT -5

Quote

Post by pika on Apr 11, 2013 8:56:47 GMT -5

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,411,true][atrb=cellpadding,10,true][bg=D2D9E1]∞ audriana skye gresham ∞

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,411,true][atrb=cellpadding,10,true][bg=D2D9E1]

don't you worry, don't you worry, child
see, heaven's got a plan for you
don't you worry, don't you worry, now

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,411,true][atrb=cellpadding,10,true][bg=D2D9E1]

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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Maecenas eu nulla quis tortor adipiscing pulvinar et et turpis. Donec egestas consequat orci sed eleifend. Mauris imperdiet sagittis varius. Praesent ornare nisi ut libero pharetra non condimentum turpis pulvinar. Morbi elementum placerat ipsum vitae vulputate. Aliquam ullamcorper lacinia mauris, non posuere lacus suscipit ut. Mauris pretium molestie sapien, eget viverra sapien rhoncus vel. Etiam interdum placerat rhoncus. Integer id massa sapien.

Cras luctus enim velit. Curabitur scelerisque velit odio. Proin semper bibendum ullamcorper. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Mauris egestas, tortor ut sagittis rutrum, ipsum ante pulvinar lectus, ac porta orci nibh eu dolor. Maecenas eu velit sit amet nibh scelerisque elementum sed nec ipsum. Praesent aliquam sollicitudin faucibus. Mauris blandit, massa et dictum mollis, massa risus accumsan nibh, sed laoreet ipsum enim at dolor. Cras dignissim, est vitae pulvinar feugiat, quam sem eleifend erat, tincidunt cursus justo urna id mauris. Curabitur ac ante id ante dignissim elementum rhoncus sit amet ante.

Duis mauris tortor, aliquet vitae fermentum at, hendrerit non orci. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Cras in egestas ipsum. Curabitur porta porttitor sollicitudin. Nulla velit odio, mattis in consectetur quis, suscipit a neque. Curabitur erat ipsum, tristique eget tincidunt eu, egestas vestibulum turpis. Nulla magna nunc, scelerisque nec imperdiet eu, dapibus ut dolor. Morbi rutrum, velit venenatis venenatis fringilla, tortor lectus ornare erat, nec tempor metus lacus id sem. Nunc bibendum, urna quis pulvinar eleifend, lectus risus iaculis felis, eget varius lorem lorem non neque. Donec in urna in lectus rutrum congue vitae mollis erat. Etiam tincidunt gravida nisl nec fringilla. Nulla turpis magna, congue eget consequat ut, dictum ac turpis. Nullam facilisis eros vel dolor dapibus sed luctus turpis rhoncus. Donec arcu nulla, imperdiet non feugiat vitae, placerat non urna.

Duis rutrum condimentum odio, sed convallis leo porta in. Aliquam aliquet risus vel mi porttitor aliquam. Sed ut sodales nisi. Fusce semper mi non ligula pretium suscipit. Morbi vitae dolor tortor. Donec metus odio, pellentesque at tristique vel, suscipit eget turpis. Sed vulputate, dui eget vehicula venenatis, neque tortor sollicitudin mauris, in vehicula ipsum nibh tempor nulla. Mauris tincidunt, metus non aliquam iaculis, libero turpis sollicitudin est, accumsan sagittis nulla lacus auctor metus. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Etiam venenatis pulvinar commodo. Mauris urna ipsum, eleifend in fringilla at, sollicitudin vel libero. Morbi accumsan feugiat quam, eget tempus est suscipit et. Phasellus rhoncus, eros nec cursus ultricies, leo elit ullamcorper nibh, sed eleifend sem erat sit amet felis. Nam rhoncus tellus ut quam pretium a viverra massa cursus.

Aenean venenatis, lectus a laoreet elementum, sapien diam rutrum nulla, eget venenatis arcu velit nec justo. Ut lorem urna, porta ac placerat et, tristique nec mi. Maecenas ullamcorper, tellus at ultricies fermentum, neque sem dapibus risus, tincidunt tincidunt nisl ligula vitae justo. Sed ac sem tellus, ut sodales justo. Nunc sodales, metus aliquam dapibus convallis, arcu massa iaculis orci, et imperdiet urna mauris et ipsum. Phasellus ullamcorper accumsan cursus. Quisque ac metus ut justo vestibulum ornare blandit quis tellus. Curabitur sit amet purus risus, eu lacinia metus. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Sed facilisis volutpat mauris et pharetra. Maecenas semper lectus vitae diam mollis iaculis. Aliquam scelerisque, tellus id sollicitudin laoreet, risus quam mollis ipsum, eu suscipit libero quam ac dui. Sed pulvinar, est non venenatis placerat, arcu tellus congue mi, sit amet congue eros mauris adipiscing arcu. Praesent mauris orci, interdum eu dictum vitae, convallis non lectus. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae;

Ut aliquet eros id libero condimentum pulvinar ut eget turpis. In ornare, ligula ac malesuada tincidunt, nunc nulla facilisis justo, et euismod leo nibh in lorem. Praesent molestie hendrerit rhoncus. Praesent sollicitudin fermentum enim sed venenatis. Praesent eget elit nisl. Mauris dictum ullamcorper odio sit amet vulputate. Integer eget quam et metus gravida accumsan in at dolor. Nullam facilisis congue felis, vitae euismod orci sagittis in. Ut odio neque, vehicula sit amet accumsan et, sagittis sit amet turpis. Phasellus a odio tortor. Quisque varius, eros vel tincidunt euismod, nisl mi elementum tortor, vel vehicula odio est sit amet velit. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Aliquam a risus urna. Praesent sagittis sapien eget mauris tempus eu tristique massa accumsan. Nullam laoreet sem in velit ornare consequat.

Proin congue ornare fermentum. Maecenas arcu felis, blandit quis pharetra et, molestie sit amet enim. Maecenas vitae massa ac libero rutrum euismod. Aliquam id sem id ligula elementum ullamcorper nec vitae dolor. In lectus tellus, accumsan at imperdiet ut, convallis at ante. Aenean vel diam ac mi euismod consectetur at eget leo. Quisque a leo sit amet mi ullamcorper dictum. Vestibulum id metus leo, et gravida velit. In nec massa neque. Aenean enim eros, tempus sit amet auctor fringilla, tincidunt eget mauris. Aliquam erat volutpat. Phasellus ornare orci non nunc faucibus malesuada. Proin egestas sodales sodales. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas.

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Phasellus a orci velit, quis rutrum nisl. Morbi sodales, nisi vel dignissim convallis, erat nisl rutrum massa, ac laoreet eros ligula a diam. Fusce est tortor, molestie at pretium tempor, tristique in tellus. Nam eu consectetur erat. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Nulla quam justo, molestie id placerat vel, placerat id felis. Curabitur pulvinar ultricies quam, a accumsan magna venenatis ac.

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,411,true][atrb=cellpadding,10,true][bg=D2D9E1]don't you worry child - swedish house mafia [x]
colour palette [x]
face claim [x]
this is a pika template [x]
character directory [x]

Last Edit: May 12, 2013 17:03:51 GMT -5 by pika

arise and be all that you dreamed

pika
Retired Staff

586 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen May 7, 2022 18:36:48 GMT -5

pika attempts coding Aug 13, 2013 14:50:32 GMT -5

Quote

Post by pika on Aug 13, 2013 14:50:32 GMT -5

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i39.tinypic.com/2hoz38g.jpg); width: 450px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true]

i've been the needle and the thread
weaving figure eights and circles around your head
i try to laugh but cry instead
patiently wait to hear the words you've never said

To feel pain is to feel existence. I have always known this, but I never thought I’d be the one to truly understand its meaning, to know why the most alive a person ever feels is when they are in pain. Even so, I do not think I have ever felt quite as much aware of my own presence on this earth than I do right now, staring into this boy’s face. The cushioning light from the window illuminates the tormented seas of his eyes, filled with exhaustion and loss. His skin is shadowed and darkened with the soft caress of the coal dust of the District. I have never known quite as beautiful a sight as the man in front of me, and I do not know if the awe and wonder that I feel so strongly in my heart is reflected on my face. I see his own tears make their pathways down his sullen cheeks, and I can’t help but wonder if he is crying because of my rejection, or because of his original choice to tell me in the first place.

If he is to regret his decision to tell me, then I am to spend the rest of my days lamenting over my own reactions. I operated out of fear, out of worry, not out of a desire to pain him more. I only wished for him to know the kind of girl that he loves, the irreparable pieces of a person once whole. If life was a perfect entity, then I would find my arms and legs entwined with his own, the sound of his ragged breath in my ears. If life was as immaculate as it could be, he would not fear the inevitable heartbreak that I am sure to bring him, but rather embrace it and proceed resilient towards it. But he is not aware of the misery that I am destined to bring to him; he is not conscious of the idea that I am the worst thing for him, rather than the best.

His sudden movement from the couch in front of me made me flinch, thinking of all the different ways this moment could go. If he had risen to leave the house silently, to leave me there more shattered than ever, I think that would be easier to handle than if he had spoken even one word. I don’t know if I could handle hearing anything he had to say; every word, every phrase that escaped his lips made me love him so much more. They allowed me to realize that he was my true escape, the only thing that kept me even remotely standing. I don’t know why he stayed with me through everything. He was more than capable of finding another person infinitely more stable, beautiful, and helpful to him. What he saw in me must be the one thing that he needed in life; I could not think of another reason other than that.

I closed my eyes to his approaching figure. I did not wish to see his next move, nor did I think I’d be able to keep my sanity if I did. I think that I was so set on the notion that he was leaving, that I half-thought he did. I would have bet anything that I had heard his retreating footsteps aiming toward his front door, that the door had swung open and slammed closed. And because I was so certain of all this, I cried harder. My closed eyes acted as a faulty dam against my tears; they spilled over in waterfalls, making my face a hot, sticky mess. I think that I could have stayed there forever, wrapped tightly in my sweater against the cold, both of the world and of my heart.

But my thoughts had betrayed me. He had not left me there alone, but instead had been there all along. I felt his familiar hands on my face, and although I could pick out the sensation of his fingers out of any number of peoples’, I do not think he had ever grasped my face. They felt like a whole new set of hands on the soft skin of my face compared to the roughness of my arms and hands; they felt gentle, warm, healing. More tears fell. My breaths became ragged and quick. He wiped away tears from my eyes, partially clearing my face of their sticky sensation.

I do not know how long it took him between my denying him and the actual action to decide to kiss me. I wonder if he had been harbouring the urge to do so for a long time before this day, and hadn't thought it yet appropriate. I wonder if he had just decided to do it right then, as he watched me fall apart right in his hands. His lips tasted like fire and redemption, and he was suddenly there. All those months that I had been searching for him, searching for the Callen that I had loved and lost, had come to fruition. I knew he was there, the boy that knew me better than I understood myself, the boy that was my haven, the boy that was my life. His lips were medicine to my sickness, love to my self-hatred, safety to all the danger that I found myself in. My fingers found themselves entwined with his in one hand, the other tangled in his hair. I could not breathe, he stole all my air, yet somehow I didn't need to when he was around. It was like he removed the necessity to inhale, exhale from my life.

I opened my eyes after a minute, and I was not sure what I was expecting to see. I thought maybe that with that kiss, the whole world would morph technicolour, and I would amble around in a euphoric high forever. I thought that maybe everything would be repaired, that Callen and his lips would have fixed it all, that nothing would ever have the opportunity to break me ever again. But the only things I saw in that moment were the remnants of a broken man, crudely molded back together by pills and medicine. The only thing I knew in that moment was that kiss should not have happened, and yet it was the only thing that had ever made me feel alive. Not the pain, not the suffering. The boy. Just the boy, and only the boy, so craftily developed, made me alive.

If love was like a child, it would be the greatest gift you've ever received. Its life and health become your only concerns. If love was like a child, you would appreciate it and nurture it to its utmost perfection. If love was like a child, you would know that it is never perfect, but that you have raised it to the best it can be. If love was like a child, you would know that it may not stay forever, that in due time it might wander and roam. But if love was like a child, you would know that no matter where it ends, where it began is what really matters.

And for us, it began with three words, two sets of lips, and one simple kiss.

"this is not goodbye," she said
"it is just time for me to rest my head"
she does not walk she runs instead
down the jagged streets and into my bed

arise and be all that you dreamed

pika
Retired Staff

586 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen May 7, 2022 18:36:48 GMT -5

pika attempts coding Aug 15, 2013 0:32:45 GMT -5

Quote

Post by pika on Aug 15, 2013 0:32:45 GMT -5

[bg=6E7F89][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][bg=2C2C2C]
[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true]

i've been the needle and the thread
weaving figure eights and circles around your head
i try to laugh but cry instead
patiently wait to hear the words you've never said

To feel pain is to feel existence. I have always known this, but I never thought I’d be the one to truly understand its meaning, to know why the most alive a person ever feels is when they are in pain. Even so, I do not think I have ever felt quite as much aware of my own presence on this earth than I do right now, staring into this boy’s face. The cushioning light from the window illuminates the tormented seas of his eyes, filled with exhaustion and loss. His skin is shadowed and darkened with the soft caress of the coal dust of the District. I have never known quite as beautiful a sight as the man in front of me, and I do not know if the awe and wonder that I feel so strongly in my heart is reflected on my face. I see his own tears make their pathways down his sullen cheeks, and I can’t help but wonder if he is crying because of my rejection, or because of his original choice to tell me in the first place.

If he is to regret his decision to tell me, then I am to spend the rest of my days lamenting over my own reactions. I operated out of fear, out of worry, not out of a desire to pain him more. I only wished for him to know the kind of girl that he loves, the irreparable pieces of a person once whole. If life was a perfect entity, then I would find my arms and legs entwined with his own, the sound of his ragged breath in my ears. If life was as immaculate as it could be, he would not fear the inevitable heartbreak that I am sure to bring him, but rather embrace it and proceed resilient towards it. But he is not aware of the misery that I am destined to bring to him; he is not conscious of the idea that I am the worst thing for him, rather than the best.

His sudden movement from the couch in front of me made me flinch, thinking of all the different ways this moment could go. If he had risen to leave the house silently, to leave me there more shattered than ever, I think that would be easier to handle than if he had spoken even one word. I don’t know if I could handle hearing anything he had to say; every word, every phrase that escaped his lips made me love him so much more. They allowed me to realize that he was my true escape, the only thing that kept me even remotely standing. I don’t know why he stayed with me through everything. He was more than capable of finding another person infinitely more stable, beautiful, and helpful to him. What he saw in me must be the one thing that he needed in life; I could not think of another reason other than that.

I closed my eyes to his approaching figure. I did not wish to see his next move, nor did I think I’d be able to keep my sanity if I did. I think that I was so set on the notion that he was leaving, that I half-thought he did. I would have bet anything that I had heard his retreating footsteps aiming toward his front door, that the door had swung open and slammed closed. And because I was so certain of all this, I cried harder. My closed eyes acted as a faulty dam against my tears; they spilled over in waterfalls, making my face a hot, sticky mess. I think that I could have stayed there forever, wrapped tightly in my sweater against the cold, both of the world and of my heart.

But my thoughts had betrayed me. He had not left me there alone, but instead had been there all along. I felt his familiar hands on my face, and although I could pick out the sensation of his fingers out of any number of peoples’, I do not think he had ever grasped my face. They felt like a whole new set of hands on the soft skin of my face compared to the roughness of my arms and hands; they felt gentle, warm, healing. More tears fell. My breaths became ragged and quick. He wiped away tears from my eyes, partially clearing my face of their sticky sensation.

I do not know how long it took him between my denying him and the actual action to decide to kiss me. I wonder if he had been harbouring the urge to do so for a long time before this day, and hadn't thought it yet appropriate. I wonder if he had just decided to do it right then, as he watched me fall apart right in his hands. His lips tasted like fire and redemption, and he was suddenly there. All those months that I had been searching for him, searching for the Callen that I had loved and lost, had come to fruition. I knew he was there, the boy that knew me better than I understood myself, the boy that was my haven, the boy that was my life. His lips were medicine to my sickness, love to my self-hatred, safety to all the danger that I found myself in. My fingers found themselves entwined with his in one hand, the other tangled in his hair. I could not breathe, he stole all my air, yet somehow I didn't need to when he was around. It was like he removed the necessity to inhale, exhale from my life.

I opened my eyes after a minute, and I was not sure what I was expecting to see. I thought maybe that with that kiss, the whole world would morph technicolour, and I would amble around in a euphoric high forever. I thought that maybe everything would be repaired, that Callen and his lips would have fixed it all, that nothing would ever have the opportunity to break me ever again. But the only things I saw in that moment were the remnants of a broken man, crudely molded back together by pills and medicine. The only thing I knew in that moment was that kiss should not have happened, and yet it was the only thing that had ever made me feel alive. Not the pain, not the suffering. The boy. Just the boy, and only the boy, so craftily developed, made me alive.

If love was like a child, it would be the greatest gift you've ever received. Its life and health become your only concerns. If love was like a child, you would appreciate it and nurture it to its utmost perfection. If love was like a child, you would know that it is never perfect, but that you have raised it to the best it can be. If love was like a child, you would know that it may not stay forever, that in due time it might wander and roam. But if love was like a child, you would know that no matter where it ends, where it began is what really matters.

And for us, it began with three words, two sets of lips, and one simple kiss.