What If..? (Kay)

After the war we said we'd fight together
I guess we thought that's just what humans do, letting darkness grow
As if we need its palette and we need its colour
But now I've seen it through

It was still a little weird not to wake up in her bed in the community home. Not that she missed it, with its threadbare sheets and lumpy mattress. Let's not forget the bevy of roommates. It was soft and quiet in Mace's victor mansion, and clean now that she'd finally buckled down to the task. She'd started with Julian's closet, which had been a giant mistake. He hadn't left much behind, but what he had Regalia had modeled, and then steamed and pressed. It was pure joy to be able to handle such finely made clothes.

But that joy only took one afternoon, and the rest of the house has taken her a week. She'd had to scrub it again the next, and the next, until Mace and Julian returned, and then she hoped for more exciting tasks. Like cooking. There really wasn't much point when it was just her and Sewanee on the premises. Not that she was much better at cooking than Mace, but anything to break up the tedium would be welcomed.

She showered and dressed simply after opening the window. A rare warm fall breeze drafted through, ruffling her damp blonde hair. She picked out a sunflower dress and tied her hair back in a navy ribbon. A few quick pinches to her cheek and a dusting of chapstick and she was ready to go. Leave. Get out and leave the quiet house behind.

Because even if she didn't miss having roommates, she missed being around someone, anyone. It was ghostly quiet in the victor's village. It wasn't until she rounded the justice building that she saw anyone at all, and only a few at that. School was still in session. Reggie smiled at the families she passed, but no one looked at her. Why would they? She looked more like Julian than Mace, and she'd only been in the main part of the district a short time. Too short to make any friends. It was time to change that.

Reggie's ponytail bounced as she ducked into the sweet shop, determined to find someone her age. Like most of the other shops it was almost empty, and she pouted dramatically before a pinstripe lollipop caught her eye. She swung towards it, wondering if this would qualify for an "emergency," as Mace dictated his allowance be spent. He had at one point promised to pay her to clean the house, but he'd been rather desperate after - after he'd lost his house keeper.

Reggie reached for the lollipop and heard Sorry!, which brought her up short. Fingers still extended, Reggie looked over her shoulder to catch a flash of red hair turning away from her. Perhaps she shouldn't be snatched up lollipops. She used that extended hand to touch the back of his shoulder lightly. "Did you want it? I'm sorry if you saw it first," Reggie offered, her smile opening her face, revealing a small dark gap between her two front teeth. She picked up the pinstripe candy, and held it in front of her body as a peace offering. "Here, it's all yours."

After the war we said we'd fight together
I guess we thought that's just what humans do, letting darkness grow
As if we need its palette and we need its colour
But now I've seen it through

Reggie's gaze flitted over his features, never resting more than a moment on any particular face. Occasionally her gaze slipped, caught by one of the shiny rainbow candies in the far corner of the store, or the twinkling bell as another patron exited. She took it all in superficially, noting the tweak in his nose, the slight optimistic rise of his lips, the way the whole store smelled like fresh chocolate. None of it was too penetrating, too deep, but not a lot went by Regalia.

He spoke in a rush, the words blending together, information crammed into a few sentences. Reggie's smile widened as she bobbed her acquiescence, and turned towards the cash register. "Well, thanks, that's awful sweet. Sweet!" She chuckled, delighted at her own sense of humor. "Axel? Like the wagon bit? That'll be easy to remember. I'm Reggie," She reached across her body with her free hand as she walked. The etiquette Elon had taught her had been shelved years ago, but it seemed a more appropriate way to honor his memory than the doom and gloom grief her siblings now carried.

The cashier rang them in a jiffy, his sunken eyes happily ringed by wrinkles. It took a lot to get to that age in such a poor, broken district. Although now the -statts had a better chance than most, thanks to Mace's generosity. She didn't particularly like the idea of growing old, of having to witness her body's slow failure. She swallowed, mumbled a hasty thank you, and then turned back to Axel.

Reggie softly punched him in his bicep. "Gaw, c'mon now. Lots of pretty girls in this part of the district." Girls with teeth, at least, unlike the poorer outreaches where she had grown up. Straight teeth. Her smile faltered for just a moment as she reached the door. She looked from it, to Axel, and then rolled her shoulders back. "You want to walk me home?" Reggie asked, twirling the candy in front of her face.

After the war we said we'd fight together
I guess we thought that's just what humans do, letting darkness grow
As if we need its palette and we need its colour
But now I've seen it through

Reggie folded her lips together, an age old habit to hold in the laughter. The problem was that it just bubbled up. It was always inside of her, expanding her lungs, her stomach, her heart. If she wasn't careful, she'd dissolve into a giggle fit that was both awkward and uncomfortable for everyone around her. This wasn't the time, and he'd asked a perfectly good question, considering he didn't know the answer.

She put her hand out, touched his forearm lightly to help steel him against the response. "Pretty nearby. I'm sure you'd recognize it. Want to walk beside me?" She asked, all color to cheeks and eyelashes waving. Reggie wrapped that hand around his arm, threaded her through his so that they would walk like a proper courtship couple. "To the left here," Reggie indicated, taking them behind the shops. "Do you also live nearby?"

After the war we said we'd fight together
I guess we thought that's just what humans do, letting darkness grow
As if we need its palette and we need its colour
But now I've seen it through

Reggie wasn't normally patient. Sure, she could find things to occupy her time while Mace made up his mind, or while Cygnus calculated every possibility, or while Val sobered up. But that wasn't the same thing as undiluted patience. She was just a master at distraction. So while Axel considered his words, she considered the best way to present her home. Well, Mace's home, which she maintained. That sounded pretty good, she thought, and then began to map out how she would bring him into the house when he spoke up.

She smiled indulgently, her gap tooth showing. "I totally know what you mean. I grew up way in the outer edges of the district. It's nothing like here, not at all. I never even used to come here, except for Reapings. But now..." Reggie shrugged, and turned them down Victor row.

"But now things are different. We're here." She said, stopping at the entrance to one of the first mansions. She tucked the lollipop behind her back and untangled her other arm to open the decorative gate. She couldn't even stand to look at him, to see if he had figured it out yet.

After the war we said we'd fight together
I guess we thought that's just what humans do, letting darkness grow
As if we need its palette and we need its colour
But now I've seen it through

Reggie popped the lollipop back into her mouth, if only to give herself a distraction. What should she say? Should she laugh, pretend it was a joke, and walk away? Where would she go? It would take them literally hours to walk back to the community home, and she didn't even have a bed there any more. No, it wasn't her home, even if it was her roots, and she refused to be ashamed of where she lived now.

Because they had earned it. First with all of Mace's suffering, and then with Elon's, whose death was still a shadow over the victor's mansion.

Reggie pulled hard on the lollipop, and then offered him a tepid smile around it. "Yep, I sure do. I help maintain it for my brother," when he's not around, when he's too incapacitated by grief or memory. "Want to go inside?